help! bachelor party

[kas baby]

Ok, so my issue is not with FI on this one, but rather his guys. FI told me he''d like something kind of low key, laid back and fun like golf, or going go-karting, batting cages, etc. sporty stuff then go to a sports bar or something to grab dinner. Well, his brothers and cousin who are his groom''s men, told FI ''oh that''s not cool, omg that''s so boring, that''s not a bachelor party'' and basically made fun of him. They want to go to the strip club, get wasted, and probably do other stupid things. They obviously don''t care that FI would end up having to look after all of them (FI doesn''t drink or party like that) and would probably be totally embarrassed and feel really awkward. poor FI. I told him I would pay for him to go for a round of golf or whatever if his ''guys'' wouldn''t bother.

gah! they just get under my skin. I don''t think they realize this is for FI and what he wants. I just don''t know what to do. I''m thinking about asking one of FI''s friends to take over and do something nice for FI since obviously his brothers don''t care.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 11/30/2009 12:41:14 PM
Author:kas baby
Ok, so my issue is not with FI on this one, but rather his guys. FI told me he''d like something kind of low key, laid back and fun like golf, or going go-karting, batting cages, etc. sporty stuff then go to a sports bar or something to grab dinner. Well, his brothers and cousin who are his groom''s men, told FI ''oh that''s not cool, omg that''s so boring, that''s not a bachelor party'' and basically made fun of him. They want to go to the strip club, get wasted, and probably do other stupid things. They obviously don''t care that FI would end up having to look after all of them (FI doesn''t drink or party like that) and would probably be totally embarrassed and feel really awkward. poor FI. I told him I would pay for him to go for a round of golf or whatever if his ''guys'' wouldn''t bother.

gah! they just get under my skin. I don''t think they realize this is for FI and what he wants. I just don''t know what to do. I''m thinking about asking one of FI''s friends to take over and do something nice for FI since obviously his brothers don''t care.

Do this if your FI won''t tell his brothers that he''s not going to a strip club. If they won''t respect his wishes, have someone else plan it. Ugh, why are guys so dumb sometimes?!

 

[meresal]

Why doesn''t he just tell the guys that he will not show up if that is what they plan on doing?

If he doesn''t want to do that, he doesn''t have to.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 11/30/2009 1:07:25 PM
Author: meresal
Why doesn''t he just tell the guys that he will not show up if that is what they plan on doing?

If he doesn''t want to do that, he doesn''t have to.

This is a great idea. Brothers or not, help him have some spine!

It''s HIS day, not theirs.

 

[dani2142]

Date: 11/30/2009 1:14:22 PM
Author: MonkeyPie

Date: 11/30/2009 1:07:25 PM
Author: meresal
Why doesn''t he just tell the guys that he will not show up if that is what they plan on doing?

If he doesn''t want to do that, he doesn''t have to.

This is a great idea. Brothers or not, help him have some spine!

It''s HIS day, not theirs.

exactly. my fiance'' cannot stand strippers (thankfully) so he is getting his best buds together and they are going to chicago for a weekend. his brother is his best man and he likes strippers but because he knows how my fiance'' feels about them, it is definitely not part of the plan. so anyway, i think your fiance'' should tell his boys how he feels regardless of whether or not they will make fun of him. he is a grown arse man and about to get married. he should be doing what HE wants!!!

 

[jaylex]

Date: 11/30/2009 12:41:14 PM
Author:kas baby
Ok, so my issue is not with FI on this one, but rather his guys. FI told me he''d like something kind of low key, laid back and fun like golf, or going go-karting, batting cages, etc. sporty stuff then go to a sports bar or something to grab dinner. Well, his brothers and cousin who are his groom''s men, told FI ''oh that''s not cool, omg that''s so boring, that''s not a bachelor party'' and basically made fun of him. They want to go to the strip club, get wasted, and probably do other stupid things. They obviously don''t care that FI would end up having to look after all of them (FI doesn''t drink or party like that) and would probably be totally embarrassed and feel really awkward. poor FI. I told him I would pay for him to go for a round of golf or whatever if his ''guys'' wouldn''t bother.

gah! they just get under my skin. I don''t think they realize this is for FI and what he wants. I just don''t know what to do. I''m thinking about asking one of FI''s friends to take over and do something nice for FI since obviously his brothers don''t care.

My fiance is the same way. He wouldn''t want to step foot into a strip club and chooses to refrain from drinking when i''m not around. However, when he told his best man this, bm told him that he WILL be getting him wasted and that they WILL be bar hopping.. Fiance told him NO.

So fiance and I decided that we are going to be combining parties and we will be going with our attendants to an amusement park (we live only a few hours away from cedar point) for a long weekend. That way we can have fun together as a couple with our friends (who all get a long quite nicely). And I can keep that pesky best man from doing something stupid.

Good luck! And tell your man to tell his brothers to shove it! lol
Since they are family, it should be easier for him to stand up to them? no?

 

[kas baby]

thanks ladies.

By now FI and I both know that his brothers are totally incompetent and won''t be doing any planning other than planning on showing up to a bar and asking FI to pay ''because they''re broke again''

gah! FI has an interesting relationship with the brothers (long and complicated story) but he certainly doesn''t enable their bad behavior like their mom does (another long and complicated story) They just don''t care.

FI told them he is going to go have fun his way and if they show up, great. If they don''t, well, just show up at the wedding sober, in the suit we picked for you, stand still through the vows, and when the ceremony is done- whatever.

It just bothers me because FI really wanted to do something fun with them before we move, possibly out of state, and they just don''t care. They''re too busy drinking/doing drugs, getting into fights, and going to jail. The sooner we move the better. The farther away we move the better (b/c they''re too cheap to travel)

Good riddance.

FI and his brothers are sooooooo different. I just think it goes to show that we choose who we want to be, our situation doesn''t always choose it for us. FI could easily have turned out just like them, but he rose above that stigma and now he''s my wonderful FI

 

[kas baby]

jaylex: Cedar point sounds fun! That''s so cool that you guys are doing a combined party.

FI and I thought about it, but we thought it would be fun for the boys to get together- but obviously that may not work out.
I told my girls that if there was anything like trying to get me wasted/strippers, that I would leave and whoever came up with the idea would no longer be invited. They know me better than that and to blatantly disregard it so you can have the excuse to see an exhibitionist- that''s not ok with me and obviously you aren''t a real friend. I had better not have any problems