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HELLO PSERS! (long, my apologies!)

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its lydia

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
20
LONG TIME LURKER FINALLY EMERGES!

I picked today to post because something has been going on lately and I''ve talked to some people about it, but everyone wants to give me advice, and I just kind of want to vent in an unbiased environment.

I''m 23 years old and I''ve been dating my awesome SO for about 2.5 years now. We are both in school, in the same state but about an hour and a half away from each other. We were going to move into a house smack dab in between our two schools because we didn''t mind driving 45 minutes to school, but have decided to put it off for ONE reason. And a lot of you are going to laugh at this. My boyfriend has a VERY temperamental Staffordshire Terrier. Her name is Beezy, and she is one mean thing. She is very loving with him, but very protective. We are moving in together next year for sure. He is enrolling Beezy in a 6 month program starting in May with a professional trainer to work on her aggression issues. She spends 3 months with the trainer and then she comes back and SO attends classes every weekend with the trainer for the remaining 3 months. I hope she can be helped, because if she continues how she is now, he will have to give her to his parents because I do not trust her with my dog, and neither does he (my parents passed away when I was 19, and my sister can''t take my dog, so she has no where else to go but with me..)


Not quite sure why I posted all that, I guess deep down the dog situation does bother me. Not because I''m upset that we don''t live together, just because I''m worried that Beezy will not be able to be helped. She has bitten me 3 times, but I love her nonetheless, because I know that she is just afraid of sharing my boyfriend, and this is the only way she knows how to convey that. It''s an unacceptable way, for sure, but it''s all she knows. It would break SO''s heart to have to give her up. I know he would do it in order for our relationship to go further, but I don''t want to be responsible for her having to go away.

On ANOTHER note, SO has said that when we get a place together (we are looking at January 2010) he would like to "take it to the next level" (EEEEEEEEE!!!!) So he has instructed me to look at rings. No problem there! I already know what makes my heart sing! I LOVE pave and halos (even before I knew they were "in"). Solitaires don''t cut it for me, neither do 3 stone, bezel, tension, or anything else. I am worried about the pave though. I ride horses and compete in dressage competitions, so I know I''d have to take it off for that (Heck, I would take ANY ring off for that), but I have no experience with pave and I know NO ONE who has it. Do you ladies think I can get away with a pave ring for everyday wear? I would take it off for sleeping, showering, the norm.. but I don''t want an e-ring that I end up wearing only for occasions and only wearing my wedding band. How does pave stand up to everyday (careful) wear?

Thanks all for listening, this past year has been rough, but it''s getting better!

EDIT: I originally posted this in rocky talky but since I ended up talking about the dog for a while, I figured I''d post it down here. I figure rocky talky doesn''t want to hear about dogs, but hangout won''t mind hearing about diamonds, haha.


Here is a picture of Beezy (shortened version of her real name which is "Shiloh Be Easy") This is her baby picture, she''s a LOT bigger and intimidating now!

0905081552.jpg
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 3, 2006
Messages
9,613
In my opinion, no dog should bite. A dog that bites is dangerous and has problems.

You don''t say how old the dog is, but presuming she''s quite young, what do you plan to do if you have children. Small babies can raise huge jealousy issues with pets, and I wouldn''t want a dog like that in the same house as a young child (and this is from someone who keeps pythons!)

I would seriously encourage him to get rid of the dog asap.
 

tiffanytwisted

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 28, 2006
Messages
792
How old is Beezy? It sounds like your boyfriend has committed to a pretty intense training program. I wouldn''t make him get rid of her now. Spending 3 months with a professional trainer could totally change her. See what happens.
As far as your other question, I don''t have pave so I can''t answer. Sorry! You might post a pave specific question in rocky talky to get more answers on that.
Good luck!
 

Bia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 28, 2008
Messages
6,181
Welcome!


Poor Beezy...she's beautiful but she sounds like she has some issues. I think it's great that your BF is committed to helping her, because as Pandora said, no dog should bite--especially not a pit bull.

Good luck with that. Hopefully your BF will stay diligent with the training, so Beezy can enjoy a much happier and fulfilling life.

ETA: I know absolutely nothing about pave or halo settings--I have a solitaire--so maybe try splitting the post in Rocky Talky, or even request having the entire thread moved to Hangout. Good luck again!
 

HollyS

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 18, 2007
Messages
6,099
Wait to move until after Beezy has been in training. Your SO needs to take the advice of the trainer; if they think this dog will not adjust or calm down, then he should be prepared to give her up. You cannot take the chance that she will terroize you, your dog, or any children you may have. If she is unstable, she must go. The trainer should be able to tell.
 

its lydia

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
20
Thank you all for the support. I spoke to SO today and he has in fact enrolled her in the program so everything is set in that regard. It makes me sad sometimes because she is a year and a half old, we bought her together from a breeder (a very reputable one, we did our research. You want to be careful with these breeds, as I'm sure everyone is aware.) We had 2 friends who had also purchased from this breeder and have had no problems with their dogs to this day. We got her when she was 10 weeks old, she has NEVER been hit, yelled at, or abused. But for some reason she is like this. A vet had told us it could be a congenital defect in her brain that is affecting long term memory creation, which would explain why she is fine with SO on minute to minute basis, but she has no idea who I am when I come visit after about a week of being away. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone, I find it kind of hard to believe. I want to believe that she can be helped, because she CAN be very loving. I would hate to think that it's a medical condition that is doing this to her. It did not start until she was 9 months old. Then, literally, overnight, she became this way.

The program she is entering will be very intensive for her. The trainer has a max of 6 dogs in the program at one time, and he works with each dog on a daily basis for 3 months. I have read stories online of dogs being completely reformed after experiences like this. I hope she can be one of them.

Just to ease everyone's minds.. I would NEVER have children with a dog like this in the house, nor would I subject my dog to that. If Beezy cannot be helped, she will have to go. Absolutely. She can like with his parents, they have a great deal of land, no other animals, and no children living at home anymore. They have agreed to take her even with her problems. I thought that was so sweet. SO's father used to raise Staffordshire terriers, so he is confident that she will not be a problem for him. He says he's "seen worse" lol. They just don't want to see her put down, and I don't either. HOWEVER, if she were to attack someone else's dog, or God forbid someone else's child, I would not hesitate to put her down.



I'm just trying to stay positive about the engagement (coming up!) and not worry about Beezy, because she won't be back until beginning of August I think, so no reason to get upset now. I consider myself blessed that the biggest worry in my life is SO's dog. Could be worse!
 

heb1976

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 21, 2008
Messages
428
I would be very careful if I were you. Once certain breeds show this type of behavior it''s very dangerous. I think sometimes it''s a serious mental condition and not a behavioral issue. My cousin and her husband purchased a red Doberman when the puppy was 6 weeks old and my cousin bottle fed her and loved her and this big dog even slept in the bed with them. When the dog was 8 or 9 months old she started getting very jealous and territorial of my cousin’s husband and didn''t like for my cousin to touch her husband or the dog would growl. Within a very short time (2 weeks) they were lying in bed one morning with the dog and my cousin reached over to her husband and the dog attacked her. The dog went for her face and throat and her husband had to beat the dog off. Thank God she survived but she needed 40 to 50 stitches. Needless to say the dog was put down. Please be VERY careful with a large, strong dog that exhibits this type of behavior!
 

its lydia

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
20
That is horrible! I am so sorry that that happened to her! I'm glad she was alright.

You can never be too sure about any dog, though, really. No matter how nice. Heck, my best friend's aunt has a GOLDEN RETRIEVER that gets a bit aggressive on Halloween with all the kids and the constant doorbell. He has to be locked upstairs or out back. Only once a year, though, so I guess it's not too bad.


Beezy, luckily, has never "attacked" me, and I've never needed stitches from one of her bites. But I realize that if not addressed, her problem will get worse.

I want to be clear that we are enrolling her in this program as a last resort, because we love her, and we want her to live a great life. But she simply cannot do that if she bites. When she comes back from the program, SO will do the classes every weekend with her for 3 months because it's part of the package he paid for. That will put us at late November when she's finished, if I'm calculating correctly. We are planning to move in together in/around January. If she has shown no improvements by then, she's going to his parent's house. This is her last chance, let's hope she makes the most of it! She is still young so maybe there is time to fix her behavior.

If the veterinarian was right, then she should have no problem living with his parents, as she will be in contact with them every day. They are older and don't ever have people over, so she should feel right at home. But if that doesn't work, she will have to be euthanized. I hope it doesn't come to that.
 

heb1976

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 21, 2008
Messages
428
Thank you, we are all very grateful that she’s okay! I agree that you can never be too sure about any dog, but some dogs are more notorious than others! Some breeds go for a bite and some go for the kill. I''m glad your taking this seriously, just be careful! I wish you and your future fiancée
all the best!
 

its lydia

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
20
Date: 3/25/2009 12:40:47 AM
Author: heb1976
Thank you, we are all very grateful that she’s okay! I agree that you can never be too sure about any dog, but some dogs are more notorious than others! Some breeds go for a bite and some go for the kill. I''m glad your taking this seriously, just be careful! I wish you and your future fiancée
all the best!

Yes, it is much more serious to receive a warning bite from a "fighting" breed than from a chihuahua! Hehe.

Thank you so much for your kind words and wishes. I can''t wait until January when I can move in with him and get out of this lonely, ugly apartment!!
 

DivaDiamond007

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
Messages
1,828
Date: 3/24/2009 1:43:00 AM
Author:its lydia
LONG TIME LURKER FINALLY EMERGES!

I picked today to post because something has been going on lately and I''ve talked to some people about it, but everyone wants to give me advice, and I just kind of want to vent in an unbiased environment.

I''m 23 years old and I''ve been dating my awesome SO for about 2.5 years now. We are both in school, in the same state but about an hour and a half away from each other. We were going to move into a house smack dab in between our two schools because we didn''t mind driving 45 minutes to school, but have decided to put it off for ONE reason. And a lot of you are going to laugh at this. My boyfriend has a VERY temperamental Staffordshire Terrier. Her name is Beezy, and she is one mean thing. She is very loving with him, but very protective. We are moving in together next year for sure. He is enrolling Beezy in a 6 month program starting in May with a professional trainer to work on her aggression issues. She spends 3 months with the trainer and then she comes back and SO attends classes every weekend with the trainer for the remaining 3 months. I hope she can be helped, because if she continues how she is now, he will have to give her to his parents because I do not trust her with my dog, and neither does he (my parents passed away when I was 19, and my sister can''t take my dog, so she has no where else to go but with me..)


Not quite sure why I posted all that, I guess deep down the dog situation does bother me. Not because I''m upset that we don''t live together, just because I''m worried that Beezy will not be able to be helped. She has bitten me 3 times, but I love her nonetheless, because I know that she is just afraid of sharing my boyfriend, and this is the only way she knows how to convey that. It''s an unacceptable way, for sure, but it''s all she knows. It would break SO''s heart to have to give her up. I know he would do it in order for our relationship to go further, but I don''t want to be responsible for her having to go away.

On ANOTHER note, SO has said that when we get a place together (we are looking at January 2010) he would like to ''take it to the next level'' (EEEEEEEEE!!!!) So he has instructed me to look at rings. No problem there! I already know what makes my heart sing! I LOVE pave and halos (even before I knew they were ''in''). Solitaires don''t cut it for me, neither do 3 stone, bezel, tension, or anything else. I am worried about the pave though. I ride horses and compete in dressage competitions, so I know I''d have to take it off for that (Heck, I would take ANY ring off for that), but I have no experience with pave and I know NO ONE who has it. Do you ladies think I can get away with a pave ring for everyday wear? I would take it off for sleeping, showering, the norm.. but I don''t want an e-ring that I end up wearing only for occasions and only wearing my wedding band. How does pave stand up to everyday (careful) wear?

Thanks all for listening, this past year has been rough, but it''s getting better!

EDIT: I originally posted this in rocky talky but since I ended up talking about the dog for a while, I figured I''d post it down here. I figure rocky talky doesn''t want to hear about dogs, but hangout won''t mind hearing about diamonds, haha.


Here is a picture of Beezy (shortened version of her real name which is ''Shiloh Be Easy'') This is her baby picture, she''s a LOT bigger and intimidating now!
Welcome to PS!

IMHO, I''d tell SO it''s me or the dog. I''d never have a dog that bites. End of story. You were smart to research the breed and you seem to know that this breed is often labled as vicious. I agree with HEB in that I think that some dogs are predisposed to this type of behavior no matter how well they are raised. Good luck with the situation!





.....Oh yeah.......and don''t forget to post pics of your ring when you get it
 

dragonfly411

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2007
Messages
7,378
Diva
I kindof differ from your opinion. I don''t necessarily think it is the breed overall as much as how they are bred and raised. I DO think you can BREED the dogs to be predisposed to that kind of behavior through bloodlines that are known for fighting/guarding, vs. lines that are friendly. I also think that discipline is necessary, my dogs do get light spankings if they do something bad. Otherwise how will they learn?

I say wait to see what the training program does. She might just need the discipline. Also remember that these dogs are VERY high energy at younger ages :)
 

its lydia

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2009
Messages
20
style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 124px">Date: 3/25/2009 5:38:41 PM
Author: dragonfly411
Diva
I kindof differ from your opinion. I don''t necessarily think it is the breed overall as much as how they are bred and raised. I DO think you can BREED the dogs to be predisposed to that kind of behavior through bloodlines that are known for fighting/guarding, vs. lines that are friendly. I also think that discipline is necessary, my dogs do get light spankings if they do something bad. Otherwise how will they learn?

I say wait to see what the training program does. She might just need the discipline. Also remember that these dogs are VERY high energy at younger ages :)
I agree with what you''ve said. Of course discipline is necessary with these breeds and all breeds. The weird thing with her is that we have had her since she was 10 weeks old and we know the breeder, he is very reputable for his dogs. As I said before, we know 2 people with dogs from him, and they are both awesome! We know the breeder because SO''s dad (who used to raise Staffies, as I mentioned earlier) knows him. No problems with any of his dogs in the past, he breeds them to maintain the breed standard and they are pet quality dogs.

Of course we get the wonky one.


And of course I will post my ring when I get it! I think around January.. but.. who knows?
 

RubyCharm

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
364
I have a dog with the same jealousy issues! She''ll growl and even snap at me in the cutest way when I try to hug my BF and she''s on his lap. The only reason she can get away with it is because she is a tiny chihuahua
with a miniature snout. If she were a pit bull, I would be terrified!
 
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