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He actually bought the stone?!?

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hopefulheidi

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2005
Messages
335
After 5.5 years of us dating, and me waiting, it seems Nate is finally officially on board with this whole engagement thing with minimal nagging on my part and I''m *still* in shock.

(And I was TERRIFIED that getting to #1 on the LIW list would lead to nothing but embarassment and heartache...perhaps it was just what it took to get things into motion ehhe)

To back up a bit, we''ve been together 5.5 years, essentially living together the entire time and I''ve been chomping at the bit to get married since our first year together. We moved to Texas together 5 years ago this June and for that entire 5 years I''ve been telling myself (and everyone that asks) that the engagement was just around the corner and that it was only due to Excuse 1, Excuse 2, Excuse 3 etc that it hadn''t happened yet. Valentine''s Day 2003 we looked at our first engagement rings together at the store, at his insistance. Of course that got my hopes up and has lead to a lot of stress and disappointment since then. Being in a constant state of waiting all this time has not been fun but I knew it was a relationship worth sticking with so I stuck.

Around the time of our 5 year anniversary Nate set his own deadline, saying we''d be engaged within 6 months. This was the first time he really volunteered a timeline but it still felt like perhaps his way of pacifying my constant questions about the situation. After so many disappointments, it was much easier not to get too worked up about it, but it did seem like he was in a different place. He even helped me make mockups of the centerpieces I''d like to use at the wedding reception which was a HUGE step for him. I found he didn''t get upset with wedding talk and he even began asking specifics about the 4 cs and the amount of time necessary to create a custom engagement ring. Overall our relationship has felt much more relaxed and open and that has even allowed us to be more loving and forgiving of one another. All those times I had fooled myself in to believing he was ready, seem even more embarassing now because I was truly kidding myself then.

At the beginning of February I found a stone via the pricescope search engine that really struck my fancy. I knew the clarity was lower than anything we''d normally consider, but the GIA report looked pretty good to me so I inquired about it and was told it was super eye clean and a wonderful cut. I , of course, wanted to buy it immediately but Nate was still a bit hesitant so we talked it over for a couple of days. During that period of time, the diamond became unavailable and I later found that the manufacturer felt that GIA had been a bit harsh, so they sent it to EGLNY for recertification. Of course, by the time it returned it was carrying a $2,400 premium (which will still allow us to buy a stone this size for at least half the price of a higher clarity GIA stone) that had me simultaneously disappointed and irked at my bad luck. There was no chance I would expect Nate to spend that much on a diamond but we talked it over a bit while we were on our Valentine''s trip to Vegas. Last weekend we stopped in to a local jewelery store (his idea) to get an idea of our preferences in regards to size and clarity. Although the diamonds we looked at were pretty horrible and should have scared him off even more, he instead became more interested in seeing what a lower clarity ideal cut stone looked like in person and after some emails back and forth to the vendor, HE PURCHASED THE STONE YESTERDAY!

For quite a few hours yesterday I was just numb. It didn''t seem real and I didn''t want to set myself up for further disappointment (there''s always the potential that the clarity will really bother us in person even though we''ve been reassured that it''s a beautiful stone). There is still the chance that the diamond has been sold to someone else as the vendor returned it to the manufacturer after we rejected it for the price hike *but* if all goes well, we''ll hopefully have it in hand by Tuesday. The vendor actually just called a couple of hours ago to let us know where things are headed from here and Nate actually seemed pretty happy and excited to talk to him. I think the fact that the vendor was willing to call the stone in and take photos of the stone and run it through the brillianscope free of charge, helped to set Nate''s mind at ease a bit. There won''t be a lot of surprises by the time we see it for ourselves.

There are times I Just look at him and wonder if this is the same procrastinator I''ve been dating all these years. I''ve just gotten so used to WAITING, that I don''t know how to feel now that things are actually MOVING.

For those of you out there wondering if it will EVER happen, I guess I may turn out to be an example that it *can* happen, even after years and years and years and years and years of waiting ;-)

~Heidi
 

shinythings

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 6, 2005
Messages
215
great news heidi! congrats. i understand the strange feeling when you''ve been waiting so long and it finally seems like it''s going to happen! can''t wait to hear the rest of the story!
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Congratulations (both on finding a fantastic stone AND the relationship progress)!! It sounds like an engagement posting is very close...

 

DMBsGirl

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 29, 2006
Messages
1,589
hope that rock makes its way on your finger VERY soon!!!
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
17,757
Wonderful news HopefulHeidi!! Hope you get your proposal verrrrryyyy soon! You are a fine example of patience and I''m glad you stuck by your man and things are going well!
 

hopefulheidi

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2005
Messages
335
Thanks for all the well wishes guys...I truly appreciate it. I had hoped that sharing the news with the other LIWs might make it seem a bit more real, but I''m still skeptically waiting for the other shoe to drop. When I first found the stone I told the vendor that I was hoping everything would go smoothly but that I wasn''t sure I had enough good karma saved up and lo and behold, the stone was recerted, the price was raised etc etc so in that case I was right. Nothing ever seems to be that easy for me :razz:

Monarch...your comment really made me laugh ("You are a fine example of patience and I''m glad you stuck by your man and things are going well!") Patience is one of the very things I lost years ago (as Nate can attest). I honestly haven''t posted much here, because I rarely had anything very optimistic to say eheh and if I did I was always afraid of jinxing it. This has been a VERY hard road and I''ve questioned myself and this relationship a lot over the years but it always came back to that feeling that THIS was meant to be. I still remember my thought when I met Nate for the very first time. I knew this was either *the one* or at the very least a very very long/serious relationship to come. At the time I was bit miffed because I was finally enjoying the single life for the first time ever and I didn''t want to give up the flirting, short lived relationships, excitement etc but Nate won me over. I knew him well enough to know he''d come around eventually hehe but that didn''t stop me from trying to give him a swift kick in the pants every once in awhile to get the ball rolling. Perhaps it was my tenacity that is leading to his great generosity...he KNOWS he''s lucky I stuck around ;-)

One thing that I do find a bit interesting came up in conversation a few days ago. Previously Nate was quite skeptical about marriage because everyone that he talked to at work seemed to be miserabley married. All of these loser guys were quick to tell him to run away screaming, avoid marriage at every cost, continue to fight the good fight against matrimony. The few good examples he *did* see (like his parents who have been married for 30 years, who have survived the difficult process of raising an autistic/blind child, and who love each other so obviously that anyone can see it) were somehow ignored in the face of these more bleak examples. At some point recently I mentioned that it is much easier for guys to forget about the engagement hoopla because they aren''t constantly being harassed about the situation by well meaning friends/family/strangers.

It was then that he revealed that lately, he too has been asked all sorts of questions about the engagement: why he hasn''t made an honest woman out of me, why he hasn''t proposed yet etc and to say I was surprised is an understatement. What a weird coincidence that he is finally just now receiving a fraction of the pressure we ladies experience on a daily basis and NOW he''s motivated to propose. There is no way he would have lasted all these years had he been in my shoes :razz:

~Heidi
 

doobao

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 14, 2007
Messages
145
Congrats, Heidi.
I joined the forum not long ago, so I didn''t really know your situation.
Reading this post, I totally understand what you had been through.
It must take so much love and patience to hang in there. I admire you.

I think you will soon be posting in "Show Me the Ring," & I just can''t wait for that.
 

emilina22

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Feb 9, 2007
Messages
1,464
just wonderin how old you guys were...

i know how these long relationships go ive been with my guys for 5 years and i just found out that theres a stone "floatin" sround somewhere for me so i cant even begin to know what it feels lke knowing he bought the stone... so congrats
 

hopefulheidi

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2005
Messages
335
"I joined the forum not long ago, so I didn''t really know your situation." <== I''m sure there are a lot of people here that don''t know the full story because I''ve been mostly a lurker here for the last few years. It seemed that every time I was worked up enough to post, I sat with my anger/fear/sadness etc for awhile and it eventually went away. There was always something good just around the corner to remind me why I *was* in the relationship, not why I *wasn''t* engaged and I didn''t really want to ask other people to ride the emotional roller coaster with me. If I had posted every time I was upset/disappointed/resentful, I would have monopolized this forum and left everyone with a really bad impression of Nate when he wasn''t 100% at fault for my ill feelings. As much as I''d like to place all the blame on him, it turns out that he really wasn''t just stringing me along until he found something better. He truly wasn''t ready and just needed time to be ready.

I did find a lot of comfort in just knowing there were other LIWs experiencing similiar sucky situations and I''m sure there are a lot of lurkers out there right now feeling the same way. Kudos to anyone that is braver than me when it comes to posting about the bad times. Perhaps now that I see some light at the end of the tunnel, I''ll at least be a positive example for the ladies really questioning why they''re sticking around. If it can happen for me, it can definitely happen for anyone ;-)
 

hopefulheidi

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2005
Messages
335
emilina...

I am 26 (turning 27 this September) and Nate is 28 (turning eek 29 this September). We met right before our senior year of college so I guess we''re technically college sweethearts. Now that we are almost 5 years out of college, the fact that we aren''t yet engaged seems to be even more emphasized because we aren''t getting any younger, we''ve got a house and we''re both a few years in to our careers. It feels like we''re at an age where we *should* be married and starting a family. Heck I know a number of people that have met, dated, gotten engaged, and been married in less time than Nate and I have been together. It has been a long time coming.
 

hopefulheidi

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2005
Messages
335
OK, So maybe I''ll have to change the title of this post.

Nate "purchased" the stone on Friday via our vendor''s website and our vendor called Saturday to let us know he''d be in contact with the manufacturer first thing on Monday to get them to ship the diamond back to him (since they returned it after I rejected it because of the price hike). A couple of hours ago my vendor emailed me to ask if I had perhaps put the diamond on hold with another vendor which I of course said "NO" to. Apparently when he called the manufacturer to have the stone sent his way, he was told the diamond was on hold with another vendor meaning someone else has MY stone and there''s the potential it will never make it to us. This kind of really sucks :razz:

~Heidi
 

hopefulheidi

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2005
Messages
335
OK, I am really going to lose it soon.

Even though Nate entered his credit card information on Friday and went through the checkout process with our vendor it appears we will have to wait until Wednesday to find if the stone is available. Another vendor currently has the stone and their client has until Wednesday to decide if they are interested in buying.

This is just SO unbelievable to me.

After all of the waiting, when Nate finally comes around and we find a diamond we both like, in our price range, and we get over the fact that the manufacturer has jacked up the price and Nate actually enters all of his payment information...we still might end up without a diamond.

I am crushed
 

sleeping beauty

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 17, 2006
Messages
305
Well i just read the post and i''m so happy that nate finally put a move on things... I have a fingers crossed for you, hopefully the other client wont want it and it will end up your way. If not just keep looking you''ll find the right one. after all whats a couple more weeks when you''ve waiting 5.5 years?????
 
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