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having a total LIW breakdown moment.

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lilylover

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 29, 2008
Messages
311
So, I am sitting here crying right now and I feel like a total psycho.

Today in the car my mom asks "So when are you and ***** going to get engaged?" She knows FULL well that I have no idea. I relay this info to BF because him and I get a kick out of how my family seems to be more impatient than me, and he gets a little annoyed about it. Apparently he's been getting asked from our friends as well quite frequently, and in a sort of tongue in cheek way, implying that he is dreading having to propose.

Of course this gets my little mind rolling and thinking, "What if they know something I don't?" I have no reason to believe anything of this sort, but still.

Everyone speculating when we'll get engaged, and why he's taking so long, etc. is really getting to me. It's stressing me out big time.

I am the type of person that I hate surprises. I actually like being surprised, but the thing is I usually end up knowing some detail about the surprise before it happens and I hate not being able to know everything. Either tell me everything or be damned sure that I know zip!

I am just so stressed out about the impending egagement and I feel like it should not be this way. I feel a little better already typing this out, so thanks for listening. :(
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGE HUGE HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Tell everyone to shut up, and the bling on your finger will speak for itself when you get it.


Feel better...
 

ilovesparkles

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
2,389
I''m on the verge of one too, but for totally different reasons. We have all been there. Take a deep breath, tell em all to stuff it. Maybe even reassure your BF to ignore them all because you know when he is ready etc he will. And then believe that statement yourself. HUGS HUGS HUGS
 

jcarlylew

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 27, 2008
Messages
3,899
as the other two said as well.
i always tell my mother "you''ll know before i do" or "i''ll tell you as soon as i know"


big hugs girl!
 

fieryred33143

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 18, 2008
Messages
6,689
I didn''t have this happen to me with my family and friends (they know better) but my coworkers were all over me. I got asked every day when was he going to propose. And I would get asked not in private like a car ride but in a staff meeting with 18 to 20 people all staring at me and poking fun
. Even the few coworkers that knew how much it bothered me couldn''t come to my rescue because it would get *that* bad. Getting engaged at that point became a chore. I wanted it done and over with so that they''d leave me alone. Their comments and me allowing it to get to me completely ruined the entire experience.

Don''t let that happen to you. Be firm with people when they ask and tell them that you would appreciate it if they don''t ask you anymore. And enjoy this time of waiting. It really is a special time. It''s a chapter closing and another one opening.
 

Porridge

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
3,269
{HUGS}, I''m sorry, sometimes friends and family are a pain in the bleep. They''re only asking cos they''ve nothing better to think about


It''ll happen, and when it does, you''ll forget all about this rubbish.
 

SailorsSweet<3

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 10, 2008
Messages
723
::HUGS:: LL!

I think your family and friends just want to see you two happy. Its easy to tease and make remarks when youre not one of the two people in the relationship - they dont have to deal with any stress or tiffs that it causes between the two of you. I hope you can brush it off and do something to pamper yourself or the such! Tell your mom not to ask anymore because you dont want any inkling of anything that may happen in the future.
 

sammyj

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
1,247
lilylove, you''ve gotten excellent advice from the other ladies so far.

Your post made me think about how others react when I ask them about their impending engagements. Although I''m pretty cautious about this and I tend to only bug the male halves of a couple, I need to remember that my questions may not always come across productive or supportive even though that is my intention.

When my friends and family bugged us about our engagement, I actually liked it. It made me feel like others were somewhat invested in our relationship and that not only were my FI and I meant to be together forever, but other people believed in us too. As cheesy as that sounds, I think the fact that people care enough to ask shows that they truly care about your relationship. At least that''s how I felt. So, I guess that''s my advice to you...people want you to be engaged and get married, and that''s why they''re asking (forget your BF''s friends...they''re probably just worried they''ll lose ''one of the guys'').
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
Like sammyj I only bug the male halves too- and usually say "dude she''s way too awesome for you... you better propose before she figures that out." I never ask females, EVER... because if someone asked me, I would say, how the heck would I know? I''m not the one spending the bucks?

if it were my mom I''d say... umm you''d know before I do... or at least dad will, and since dad cannot keep a secret... we''re back to square one.

Just roll it off... and look back to paragraph one... I am certain people out there are razzing him plenty for ya!
 

Winks_Elf

Brilliant_Rock
Trade
Joined
Nov 28, 2008
Messages
1,674
(((BIG HUG!)))

I''m sorry hun! Hang in there, it will happen before you know it!
 

somegirl932

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
311
there''s great advice in here, i''ll just echo what others have said... as much as it sucks to get the constant bugging, i just try to remember that it''s because they love us and are excited...

and supporting your FF is probably really important to him! let him know that you''re okay with his timeline and love him.

lots of *hugs* for you.
 
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