Who Haven-I''d love to hear more about you!

[happyfeet1988]

Hi Haven! It''s been great reading all about you. Just letting you know if you like figs, Bath and Body works has a great scent. It''s called Brown Sugar and Fig, and it smells absolutely divine!

 

[kittybean]

Date: 10/31/2008 1:50:58 PM
Author: Haven

kittybean--Sounds like we''re two peas in a pod! (I actually spent a semester in law school, but then realized that it wasn''t for me so I quit to become a teacher. I''m not saying law is bad, it just wasn''t the right fit for me.)

I often go through periods where I feel disconnected from myself, usually it''s when I''m in grad school or putting way too many hours into work, or generally just spending the majority of my time doing things that don''t align with what I really believe is important. The thing is, this disconnect is an epidemic in our country, it really is. People no longer have hobbies or interest, or at the very least they don''t give themselves time to pursue them because they are so busy keeping up with the rat race.

I will definitely let you know about our progress with the Haven! If you have any ideas, please share!

Hi, Haven! Sorry I haven''t responded sooner, but I have been thinking about you and your BHAG . I really like your idea about classes in your home. That seems very manageable and comfortable to me. Sometimes I feel a little hesitant to commit to a whole series of classes with a bunch of people I don''t know in an unfamiliar setting, and I think that, at least for me, going to a class in a friend''s home would be fun and not too intimidating. Calligraphy would be great!

I agree about the lack of hobbies. I feel like all anyone I know does anymore is put in long hours at their job, work out, try to run some errands, and go to bed. Most of my friends are lawyers, but I see this happening outside the law all the time as well. It''s such work sometimes to try and plan something fun for everyone to do since it''s just one more thing to add to everyone''s ever-growing to-do lists. Since I''m only employed part-time at the moment, I feel like I notice this a lot more. I want to do things, see things, and get together with people, but I have no one that wants to join me. I don''t blame them . . . but I wish it didn''t have to be that way. I''m starting to learn to do more on my own. I was really proud of myself the weekend before last: I went to DC with my fiance, and while he was at a conference, I went out sightseeing on my own in a city I''d only been to once as a child.

Honestly, if I hadn''t been so afraid of quitting, I might have quit law school after the first semester. I didn''t really like it from Day 1. In college, I loved being a Spanish Language and Literature major. Studying literature was wonderful to me, and I thought law school would be more like my college classes were. Instead, it was totally counterintuitive, and I had a hard time adjusting. I got used to it, and I found something that interested me--criminal law and helping people--so I''m trying my hand at being a public defender now. However, I''ve been seriously considering going for a teaching certificate!

I hope your back has healed well. Let me know what happens with the classes; I think your ideas are fabulous.

 

[Haven]

Thanks, Kittybean! Good for you for getting out on your own in DC! I love DC, I bet you had a great time.
It''s good to hear I''m not alone in my despair about our lack of hobbies.
I think it''s hard when you don''t have a partner in crime to explore new things, I totally hear you. Too bad you''re not in Chicago, we could get each other out and about!

I have to admit that I haven''t really done much to get our classes started. I''ve completely fallen into the work-home-sleep-work-home-sleep trap. I''m determined to get out of it, though. I have started writing more, which is something I love to do, and that gets my creative juices flowing.

I also bought a large canvas to paint a few weeks ago, I planned on hanging the future painting up on our dining room wall. However, since my muse didn''t descend on me yet, hubby and I had our niece and nephew create art on it, instead. We had a sleepover last night and I thought painting a giant canvas together would be a ton of fun.

We''re going to hang it up in our dining room, I think it turned out really cool. It matches the funky vibe we have going on in the house. They used my oil pastels and gauche paints to create it. DH and I helped a little. I love that we all signed our names together in the corner.

 

[Haven]

It''s hard to see in pictures, but the oil pastels actually give it some nice depth of color. I''m quite proud that we can say our art was created by a 6- and a 9-year-old.

 

[Haven]

Okay, I've decided to do 101 in 1001 and I'm too lazy to start a blog about it. So, I'm going to post my goals here.
Why not, right?

If you're not familiar with 101 in 1001, here's the lowdown from the website:
The mission is to complete 101 preset tasks in 1001 days.
The tasks must be specific (i.e. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (i.e. represent some amount of effort on your part).

I'm excited. I did this a couple years ago with a creative writing class, and I was fairly successful. In the very least, it motivated me to get my arse in gear.

So, here goes:

My 101 in 1001
Start: Monday, December 29, 2008
Finish: Monday, September 26, 2011

Learn
1. Become fluent enough in Spanish to read Spanish literature
2. Learn guitar well enough to play the major campfire songs
3. Develop calligraphy skills at a professional level
4. Become conversationally fluent in Hebrew
5. Take a creative writing course (teaching it doesn’t count)
6. Take a pottery class (and attend every single session this time)
7. Learn to knit
8. Take three of MIT’s free online courses—one in political science, one in philosophy, one in literature

Travel
9. Lead an international teen community service program in the summer
10. Teach English in another country in the summer
11. Visit Berlin with DH (and possibly mom?)
12. Visit Dublin with DH
13. Visit England with DH
14. Visit M in DC before he moves!
15. Visit Portland with DH
16. Visit Bolder with DH
17. Vegas trip with M, E, and N (college buddies)
18. Plan girls’ weekend away with mom
19. Take a long-distance train trip to somewhere new in the country
20. Go on a camping trip with DH and friends
21. Go on a hiking trip
22. Go on a bicycling trip
23. Visit Napa Valley ~or~ the Canadian Rockies with DH

Family & Home
24. Show DH at least one measurable sign of my affection every month
25. Visit Helga at least twice a month, call her at least twice a week
26. Go through (cook) Martha Stewart’s entire Cooking Class book
27. Keep up our Christmas Eve Chanukah Celebration Pizza Throwdown tradition, invite more guests each year
28. Plant veggie and herb garden in backyard
29. Hire a photographer to edit wedding photos and create a beautiful album out of the pictures we have ☹
30. Send final exam care packages to H and T (sisters) in college
31. Send exam care packages to A (sister) when she’s in Israel next school year
32. Visit sisters in college at least twice per year (per sister)
33. Walk Bailee for at least 30 minutes every day
34. Have a baby
35. Map out our family tree at least ten generations back
36. Official date night with DH at least twice per month
37. Photoshop and frame my door pictures from Greece
38. Get our ketubah professionally framed!
39. Keep up our yearly fall apple picking tradition
40. Go ice skating downtown with DH
41. Throw DH an awesome 40th birthday party
42. Keep fresh flowers in the house

Do
43. Finish one novel
44. Publish one short story in a major publication
45. Stop saying the F word, it’s so unbecoming ☺
46. Create and launch three successful pre-Haven classes
47. Create business plan for The Haven
48. Get my Pass the Line book club going for at least one full round
49. Read the titles Michael Dirda suggests in Book by Book
50. Organize one big group get-together at Bin 36 Movies in the Loft
51. Watch all of The Godfather movies
52. Organize four girls’ nights out
53. Use booze cruise tickets from Leti for a special Saturday night out
54. Upload the rest of my CDs onto my iPod, then sell CDs to used book store
55. Attend six outdoor music concerts (Ravinia doesn’t count)
56. See Ani DiFranco in concert
57. See Indigo Girls in concert (Ravinia doesn’t count)
58. Hike up a mountain and watch the sunrise with DH
59. Hit Chicago like a tourist—visit ten tourist spots and enjoy it all
60. Organize UFC outings to Champps every month instead of at home (save $$)
61. Throw a New Year’s Eve pajama party
62. Go to a Bears game
63. Go to one Illini football game
64. Take in five live music shows at local bars
65. Take in two live plays or musicals
66. Attend a roller derby bout
67. Take one RTS course with DH
68. Se a string quartet live with DH
69. Attend at least five Sunday adult study sessions at temple
70. Learn to throw a baseball really well
71. Go to the drive-in
72. Write at least one letter per month to a friend
73. Get properly fitted for a bra
74. Have prongs on e-ring changed

Do-Gooder
75. Volunteer 40 hours at a local animal shelter with DH
76. Volunteer 40 hours of tutoring for underprivileged students
77. Sell off all unnecessary stuff and donate the money to a local Jewish charity
78. Give quality water bottles as gifts for plastic bottle abusers
79. Give reusable bags as gifts for plastic bag abusers
80. Always bring my reusable bags to stores, not just for groceries
81. Participate in a Habitat for Humanity program
82. Help with the high school’s Relay for Life 2009 program

Poundage, Health, and The Soul
83. Lose 15 pounds
84. Get cut again!
85. Learn to meditate, then practice regularly
86. Sign up for and take tango classes with DH
87. Floss every night
88. Race in Muddy Buddy 2009 with DH
89. Cut soda out of diet, even on the weekends
90. Drink eight glasses of water daily
91. Bring sack lunch to work every day
92. Only buy coffee for the worst Thursday morning all-faculty meetings (instead of EVERY Thursday AM meeting)
93. Take a yoga class with A and don’t giggle during the entire thing
94. Break my lip-biting habit
95. Compete in a 5K race

Show Me the Money
96. Pay off all of our student loans
97. Save one entire year’s worth of living expenses to have, just in case
98. Automate all of our bill payments
99. Set up mortgage to pay half every two weeks
100. Budget pocket money for each week and stick to budget
101. Get estimates for home addition and set budget and timeline for it

I'll update this thread as I complete items. Just writing it all out feels good.

 

[princesss]

Date: 12/29/2008 3:29:53 AM
Author: Haven

17. Vegas trip with M, E, and N (college buddies)

Haven, my dear, I love this list...but you have to admit, this looks rather funny.

Almost Sex and the City-ish, like one of Carrie or Samantha''s exaggerations "I need to go see some M, E, and N!"

 

[Haven]

Oh my gosh, Princesss, I definitely did not see that!
Perhaps I should have used first and last initials, huh?
Too funny.

 

[indypitty]

Date: 12/29/2008 3:29:53 AM
Author: Haven
Okay, I''ve decided to do 101 in 1001 and I''m too lazy to start a blog about it. So, I''m going to post my goals here.
Why not, right?

Great list, Haven! However, I would not classify you as lazy after reading all of your goals! It looks like you''ll get more done in about three years than I will get done in ten years. If you do #34, I predict you may not get to all of the others!

Good luck.

 

[Haven]

You are so right, Indy! I tried to make this as ambitious as possible. I actually started a list about three years ago, and I completed 42 of the items, it felt so good.

We''re definitely planning on getting to #34 at the end of the 1001 days! I can only imagine how consumed by our children we''ll be once we have them. (We''ll be 41 and 31 at the end of my 1001 days, though, so we definitely want to have our family started by then.)

 

[bee*]

I''ve never heard of that 101 in 1001 thing before! That''s so cool. I''m going to make out a list tomorrow! I love your list!

 

[Haven]

Yay, Bee*! I can''t wait to read your 101, if you choose to share them here!

Just because I''m getting pictures ready for framing, here''s a shot of our furbabies Geddy and Manny snuggling together on the bed.

 

[Haven]

Sorry that last one was so big and slightly distorted.

Here''s Geddy again, this time he''s cuddling with his other bruddah Vincey.

 

[Haven]

This shot of Geddy and Manny should be a better size. Our mushy squishy little babies:

 

[Haven]

AND our newest addition Bailee standing over her bruddah Vince. Don''t worry, she looks pouty all the time but she''s a happy little girl.

 

[AGBF]

Hi, Haven. I have no idea when you will see this. I never read "my" thread. I don't use it to communicate with people, so when someone uses it for that purpose, anything the person writes goes unread for eons!

You wrote in a recent thread about Pricescopers' reputations that you liked my vocabulary. (I had used the words, "fawning" and "sycophantic" to explain the type of responses I wanted to elicit to my posting.) Well...to make a long story a tad shorter, I mentioned the compliment you gave me to my daughter who wanted to know what you taught. I knew you were a grammar fiend, but I wasn't sure if you were an English teacher.

I returned to Pricescope with the intention of asking that you start a thread about yourself, only to find that there are now five pages of threads about people. Before asking that we start a thread about about you, I thought I'd see if there already was a thread about you...and the rest is history!

I have been enchanted by your thread, by your history, by your interests...how apt that almost became a lawyer...and now I can tell my daughter what you teach! Thank you for sharing your story! I always enjoy your comments on grammar!!!

Deborah

 

[tlh]

Date: 12/29/2008 3:29:53 AM
Author: Haven
Okay, I''ve decided to do 101 in 1001 and I''m too lazy to start a blog about it. So, I''m going to post my goals here.
Why not, right?


18. Plan girls’ weekend away with mom

I do this w. my mom gma and aunt, every year we take a girls "generational" trip. I highly recommend it!

I just wanted to say hi to one of my favorite PSers/ I really enjoyed reading about you.. and of course LOVE LOVE LOVE your tag line!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

6. Take a pottery class (and attend every single session this time)

Haven - I have just been reading through this thread. . .have you taken a series of pottery classes yet? I took a few years of them and even helped teach. I hope you're still interested in learning how to work with clay (you didn't say if you plan to throw on the wheel or hand build). It's amazing how similarily therapeutic clay and meditation are!

 

[Haven]

I thought Who''s Who disappeared!

AGBF--Thank you for seeking me out. I love reading your posts, they are so thoughtful and insightful, and of course, peppered with delicious words!

tlh--Those trips sound so wonderful, I really want to make it happen! I''m so glad you stooped by--you''re so funny! I''ve nearly spit out my coffee when reading many of your your posts. I''m not surprised we share an interest in Elf!

MC--I haven''t taken a pottery class yet, I had planned to take one later this summer, so I''m hoping my broken elbow heals soon so I can sign up.
Would you recommend ome type over the other? I''m leaning toward throwing on the wheel, but all I know of it is from that scene in Ghost!

Which do you do? It looks so relaxing, I can''t wait to start. (Thanks for reading this thread, I love running in to you elsewhere, your strength as a mother is really inspiring.)

Since I''m here, I''ll post an update:

Good news: Summer vacation has started!
Bad news: I broke the radial head of my right elbow on my first official day of summer.

I''m reading a lot, and I''ve started with my favorite theme: novels written by Southern women about small town living. I really think I should have been a Southern girl instead of a Yankee.

I''m teaching three weeks of summer school, starting Monday. Other than that, I plan on writing a solid business plan and action plan for he Haven, and taking some road trips to small Southern towns to scope out possible sites for the Haven. So far on my list: Guthrie, OK; Eureka Springs, Ar; Natchitoches, LA; and Oxford, MS. Opinions? Other ideas? I''m looking for small towns with some charm, and relatively inexpensive land. Natchitoches isn''t inexpensive, but I can''t rule it out yet.

 

[Haven]

THE UPDATED LIST

My 101 in 1001
Start: Monday, December 29, 2008
Finish: Monday, September 26, 2011

Learn
1. Become fluent enough in Spanish to read Spanish literature
2. Learn guitar well enough to play the major campfire songs
3. Develop calligraphy skills at a professional level
4. Become conversationally fluent in Hebrew
5. Take a creative writing course (teaching it doesn’t count)
6. Take a pottery class (and attend every single session this time)
7. Learn to knit
8. Take three of MIT’s free online courses—one in political science, one in philosophy, one in literature

Travel
9. Lead an international teen community service program in the summer
10. Teach English in another country in the summer
11. Visit Berlin with DH (and possibly mom?)
12. Visit Dublin with DH
13. Visit England with DH
14. Visit M in DC before he moves!Fail! He moved. Will replace soon.
15. Visit Portland with DH
16. Visit Bolder with DH
17. Vegas trip with M, E, and N (college buddies)
18. Plan girls’ weekend away with mom
19. Take a long-distance train trip to somewhere new in the country
20. Go on a camping trip with DH and friends
21. Go on a hiking trip
22. Go on a bicycling trip
23. Visit Napa Valley ~or~ the Canadian Rockies with DH

Family & Home
24. Show DH at least one measurable sign of my affection every month In progress, doing well!
25. Visit Helga at least twice a month, call her at least twice a weekDONE. Helga died on 5/6. I had been visiting her several times a week for a long time. No regrets there.
26. Go through (cook) Martha Stewart’s entire Cooking Class book
27. Keep up our Christmas Eve Chanukah Celebration Pizza Throwdown tradition, invite more guests each year
28. Plant veggie and herb garden in backyard
29. Hire a photographer to edit wedding photos and create a beautiful album out of the pictures we have ☹
30. Send final exam care packages to H and T (sisters) in college
31. Send exam care packages to A (sister) when she’s in Israel next school year
32. Visit sisters in college at least twice per year (per sister)
33. Walk Bailee for at least 30 minutes every day Going strong!
34. Have a baby
35. Map out our family tree at least ten generations back
36. Official date night with DH at least twice per month
37. Photoshop and frame my door pictures from Greece
38. Get our ketubah professionally framed! DONE! It''s beautiful, too.
39. Keep up our yearly fall apple picking tradition
40. Go ice skating downtown with DH DONE!DH hated it, he went around once and got off the ice for good. But at least he tried!
<>41. Throw DH an awesome 40th birthday party[/b] IN PROGRESS. Already thinking about this. Surprise party in my best friend''s hotel. The big day is 4/15/10.
42. Keep fresh flowers in the house IN PROGRESS. I''ve learned I''m partial to yellow Tulips, they are so beautiful and they keep for two weeks.

Do
43. Finish one novel
44. Publish one short story in a major publication
45. Stop saying the F word, it’s so unbecoming ☺ IN PROGRESS. Doing better!
46. Create and launch three successful pre-Haven classes
47. Create business plan for The Haven
48. Get my Pass the Line book club going for at least one full round
49. Read the titles Michael Dirda suggests in Book by Book
50. Organize one big group get-together at Bin 36 Movies in the Loft
51. Watch all of The Godfather movies
52. Organize four girls’ nights out
53. Use booze cruise tickets from Leti for a special Saturday night out
54. Upload the rest of my CDs onto my iPod, then sell CDs to used book store
55. Attend six outdoor music concerts (Ravinia doesn’t count)
56. See Ani DiFranco in concert
57. See Indigo Girls in concert (Ravinia doesn’t count)
58. Hike up a mountain and watch the sunrise with DH
59. Hit Chicago like a tourist—visit ten tourist spots and enjoy it all
60. Organize UFC outings to Champps every month instead of at home (save $$) IN PROGRESS. We''ve saved over $200 so far!
61. Throw a New Year’s Eve pajama party
62. Go to a Bears game
63. Go to one Illini football game
64. Take in five live music shows at local bars
65. Take in two live plays or musicals
66. Attend a roller derby bout DONE. Went 5/30/09, the day after I broke my elbow skating. It was awesome! And, I ran into an old college friend I haven''t seen in 8 years!
67. Take one RTS course with DH
68. See a string quartet live with DH
69. Attend at least five Sunday adult study sessions at temple
70. Learn to throw a baseball really well
71. Go to the drive-in
72. Write at least one letter per month to a friend
73. Get properly fitted for a bra
74. Have prongs on e-ring changed

Do-Gooder
75. Volunteer 40 hours at a local animal shelter with DH
76. Volunteer 40 hours of tutoring for underprivileged students
77. Sell off all unnecessary stuff and donate the money to a local Jewish charity IN PROGRESS. We haven''t gotten rid of so much stuff! Over ten boxes of books, countless bags of clothes, old electronics, random things. It feels so good!
78. Give quality water bottles as gifts for plastic bottle abusers
79. Give reusable bags as gifts for plastic bag abusers
80. Always bring my reusable bags to stores, not just for groceries
81. Participate in a Habitat for Humanity program
82. Help with the high school’s Relay for Life 2009 program

Poundage, Health, and The Soul
83. Lose 15 pounds
84. Get cut again!
85. Learn to meditate, then practice regularly
86. Sign up for and take tango classes with DH
87. Floss every night IN PROGRESS. I probably miss one to two nights a week, but no more!
88. Race in Muddy Buddy 2009 with DH
89. Cut soda out of diet, even on the weekends IN PROGRESS. Just got strict on this one.
90. Drink eight glasses of water daily
91. Bring sack lunch to work every day DONE for 08/09 year. We had a great rhythm down by the end of the year--cook Sun, Tues, Thurs, pack leftovers for lunch.
92. Only buy coffee for the worst Thursday morning all-faculty meetings (instead of EVERY Thursday AM meeting) DONE for 08/09 year.
93. Take a yoga class with A and don’t giggle during the entire thing
94. Break my lip-biting habit DONE. This one just faded away. Good riddance!
95. Compete in a 5K race

Show Me the Money
96. Pay off all of our student loans
97. Save one entire year’s worth of living expenses to have, just in case IN PROGRESS. We''re getting close!
98. Automate all of our bill payments
99. Set up mortgage to pay half every two weeks
100. Budget pocket money for each week and stick to budget
101. Get estimates for home addition and set budget and timeline for it

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I''ve done both handbuilding and the wheel and both are therapeutic & fun in their own way. Handbuilding is great because you can either be creative and build a fun thing - for example, I made a huge (2'' tall) ceramic cat - only thing is it exploded in the kiln so that was disapointing! lol You can also handbuild vases and bowls, but since with that you do not have the luxury of a spinning wheel keeping your clay centered, often, at least while you''re learning, you may find things getting a bit tipped to one side. I used a lazy susan to help avoid that, but still my handbuilt vases all look a bit more "artistic."

With the wheel, it requires much patience in learning. Chances are it''ll take many classes before you can properly lift the clay into a simple vessel. I found it easy to center, but difficult to lift because one of my instructors (I was taking classes with two different teachers) insisted we all use beginners'' clay, which simply didn''t jive with my handling of the clay. . .I kept asking to use porcelain instead of the hard gritty clay he provided and he refused to allow me to because it required using wax on the bottom and he didn''t want to worry about me forgetting. (he was a jerk and we all had to go along with him because if he decided he didn''t like a student, he wouldn''t fire their pieces!). . .After a few more frustrating attempts, I asked my other teacher and she said go for it. The first time I used it, I lifted up a perfectly symetrical vessel and it looked wonderful and even around the top!

From there I learn that it''s important not to become stuck following the concept of what one teacher''s idea what beginners need to learn. Try a class that''s more experimental!

Oh, and regarding your arm. Yes, be sure it''s healed well. Throwing on the wheel requires you "knead" the clay first and boy does that work the muscles in your lower arms!

(Probably before you take a wheel class, you''ll be required to take a handbuilding class. Enjoy both. You''ll have a lot of fun!)

 

[MagsyMay]

I know this is so late on the game, but I just HAD to say, after reading this thread, Haven, your 101 list is SO inspiring!! I''ve probably been a lurker on PS for a good year and a half now and I had to admit, your ER is one of the main inspirations for my own! (I mean who doesn''t love a 2.01 carat cushion!!

).

But back to my point, your 101 in 1001 list is so inspirational and I am going to begin creating my own. There are so many things in life I want to do besides what I''m doing currently, and this just jolted me enough to truly start articulating them. I admire your strength to quit law school after 1 semester. Had I done the same when I knew it wasn''t for me, I''d be $130K or so less in debt!!! So I know it''s very late, but I just wanted to let you know that I''m truly inspired by your posts (in this thread and elsewhere) and I''m sure many others are as well, even if you do not know it!

 

[gwendolyn]

Wow, where to start, honey? Your furbabies are all soooooooooo cute!! Those photos make me want to snuggle them all to bits.

And how fantastic is that painting your nephew and niece did!! How gorgeous--seriously! And what a wonderful keepsake to have and show them when they are older.

You are such an inspiring person. This list, your plans for The Haven, your generous, warm spirit, the goals and ambitions you set for yours, the way you respect and allow children to achieve beyond what most people would think possible--you are just a truly, deepy, fantastically amazing person.

I too think that your 101 in 1001 list is awesome! Never heard of it before, but am very tempted to give it a try myself. What a fantastic motivator! And major congratulations to you for having some things on it to strike off already. Very well done!

And by the way, anytime you want to make number 13 a reality, James and I would be happy to act as tour guide, chauffeur, hotel, restaurant, translator

--anything you want!