have you ever???

[emilina22]

wow sorry im going crazy on the new topics........but this is a real rant and i need to vent...and i guess you guys keep saying this is a good place for that so here my rant it may be a bit long and names have been changed....so here it goes

i have a friend mina and she has this "boyfriend" slick...(trust me its a proper name) any who she claims to have been with him for 6ish year and i dont buy it...why you may ask well heres where it pisses me off...shes a sweet girl but to sweet this guys never really around hell be there one week and then the next theyre fighting and then he disappears for a week or so... and shes like " he needs time to think" and im always like you need to talk to him you need to try to fix things its not healthy for you guys to be like this." and shes like dont worry hell come back...funny thing is he does every few weeks or so..and its frustrating taht she claims to be in a relationship when they dont even go out tehy are never seen in public together...they keep to themselves kind of like theyre in hiding and i dont understand how some one can be ok with that...also her family and his are totally against this realtionship but she doesnt care..he actually got kicked out for a month becasue of her! tahts theyre issue what ever but the thing that pisses me off beyond belief is this....

when things are going good out of the blue... for her shes rubbing it in my face. she sits there and tells me all these things about how great things are and about how soon hes proposing and all these things but i try to ignore it! but it sometimes gets to the point where i dont wanna hear it...i hate when she rubs things in my face especially when its about tehm getting married....what i keep telling myself that itll be ok and i try comforting her but i dunno ....

help advise please...any one else ever had to deal with this?


shes also younger than i am!

 

[musey]

It just sounds like an immature relationship to me. Why does it bother you? You can see that their relationship is unhealthy and unfulfilling, so if she's "rubbing it in your face" you know that her trying to make you jealous is simply her trying to make herself feel better about her relationship (probably hoping that momentary ego boost will carry her through the rougher patches).

My old roommate had always been obviously very jealous of my boyfriend and I, who had been together for over two years when we lived together. She met a guy, dated long-distance for six months then got engaged to him. She then proceeded to relate every argument we had (over completely unrelated things) to the "fact" that I was jealous of her (which, of course, was ridiculous--I was in a long-term healthy relationship and she was in a rocky long-distance relationship that even her parents tried to divide). At first it made me angry that she was assuming I'd be jealous of how "great" she had it, then she just made me angry in general as she became more and more inappropriately rude, and then after a few weeks I just stopped caring. She was trying to get a rise out of me--why should I let her?

The point being that, yes, I've gone through something quite similar but no, it didn't bother me anymore after a short adjustment period. She still sends me random emails trying to upset me, which is awful, but again I have to remind myself that it only speaks to her personality problems--not mine. If this friend only tries to make you feel worse, she's not worth spending time with.

 

[musey]

Date: 2/14/2007 9:35:39 PM
Author:emilina22
when things are going good out of the blue... for her shes rubbing it in my face. she sits there and tells me all these things about how great things are and about how soon hes proposing and all these things but i try to ignore it!

I forgot to mention... there''s a difference between rubbing it in your face and just sharing her happiness with you (regardless of whether she SHOULD be happy in her relationship--that''s her call, not yours). If it''s the latter, then it''s not fair to her that you "try to ignore it". Take a step back from the situation and try to figure out which she''s doing, because she may be feeling even more unfulfilled by your friendship if she''s simply confiding in you.

 

[iheartcushions]

Yeah, this girl doesn''t really sound like a friend. But if you really want to stay friends with her stick around... Slick will leave for good eventually. He sounds totally lame. Maybe your friend will wisen up and break up with him, but I wouldn''t count on it. It sounds like she is just fine with the way this relationship is going!

 

[emilina22]

no its rubbing...thats what bugs me and its only just started so im slowly trying to not pay any mind.....yea breaking up wont work.....hes broken up with her many many many times and shes runs back to him....whatever (thats what my bf says) and hes right

 

[MustangFan]

I would say she isn''t really a friend