Have you ever witnessed anyone "speak now"?

[Shoopy]

I''d love to hear a story if you have one. This is in re: to speak now or forever hold your peace lol. I think this question is asked more during church weddings...

 

[meresal]

No, but I''m very interested to read these...

 

[idreamofcushions]

Well I didn''t witness this personally but back when I was a bridal consultant, one of my brides was on the show Bridezillas. She was actually a sweet girl, but I guess the drama came from the MIL who created problems throughout the entire planning process. The couple was going to ban her from the wedding, but last minute she turns up. Couple decides this is ok. During the "speak now or forever hold your peace", MIL coughs loudly and starts laughing. You could see the anger/hurt all over the brides face.

Anyway, I talked to her after the wedding and she said that was the worst part of the wedding for her. I can''t imagine how awful that would feel!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 6/10/2009 11:35:29 AM
Author: idreamofcushions
Well I didn't witness this personally but back when I was a bridal consultant, one of my brides was on the show Bridezillas. She was actually a sweet girl, but I guess the drama came from the MIL who created problems throughout the entire planning process. The couple was going to ban her from the wedding, but last minute she turns up. Couple decides this is ok. During the 'speak now or forever hold your peace', MIL coughs loudly and starts laughing. You could see the anger/hurt all over the brides face.


Anyway, I talked to her after the wedding and she said that was the worst part of the wedding for her. I can't imagine how awful that would feel!

I've seen that episode!

ETA: After discovering a lot of the show was fake I had written that off as fake, too. Makes it even worse that it was real! Poor girl.

 

[Livinthedream]

Date: 6/10/2009 11:54:15 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS


I''ve seen that episode!

ETA: After discovering a lot of the show was fake I had written that off as fake, too. Makes it even worse that it was real! Poor girl.

Me too... how uncomfortable! That was brutal.

 

[idreamofcushions]

Date: 6/10/2009 11:54:15 AM
Author: SarahLovesJS

Date: 6/10/2009 11:35:29 AM

Author: idreamofcushions

Well I didn''t witness this personally but back when I was a bridal consultant, one of my brides was on the show Bridezillas. She was actually a sweet girl, but I guess the drama came from the MIL who created problems throughout the entire planning process. The couple was going to ban her from the wedding, but last minute she turns up. Couple decides this is ok. During the ''speak now or forever hold your peace'', MIL coughs loudly and starts laughing. You could see the anger/hurt all over the brides face.



Anyway, I talked to her after the wedding and she said that was the worst part of the wedding for her. I can''t imagine how awful that would feel!

I''ve seen that episode!


ETA: After discovering a lot of the show was fake I had written that off as fake, too. Makes it even worse that it was real! Poor girl.

Well, I noticed that the camera crew would add fuel to the fire. She would be discussing something with one of her bridesmaids and they''d start asking "how does that make you feel" and they''d say things like "say that again, but angrier". As for her MIL speaking out during the ceremony, maybe she was only doing that because the cameras where there. Who knows

Some people have no class.

 

[Allison D.]

Since I wrote our entire ceremony

, that question was never posed.

 

[NovemberBride]

I have never actually heard this asked and I''ve easily been to 25+ weddings all over the country. I think it''s more of a movie thing, but maybe I am wrong? I know for sure it is not part fo the Catholic ceremony.

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 6/10/2009 3:27:50 PM
Author: Allison D.
Since I wrote our entire ceremony

, that question was never posed.

hahaha

November-I''ve heard it in a couple of Catholic ceremonies. I always look around to see if I can spot the faces of people that would love to say something but don''t

 

[musey]

We didn''t have that in our ceremony, either. I''ve never witnessed it. Kinda wanted to "speak now" at one wedding, though

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 6/10/2009 4:45:02 PM
Author: musey
We didn''t have that in our ceremony, either. I''ve never witnessed it. Kinda wanted to ''speak now'' at one wedding, though

Which one?

Haha, just kidding, I can guess!

I look around too fiery (where''d the rest of your name go, BTW?). No one''s ever said anything. That would take some serious b@lls to say it though!

 

[Shoopy]

Date: 6/10/2009 4:48:08 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 6/10/2009 4:45:02 PM
Author: musey
We didn't have that in our ceremony, either. I've never witnessed it. Kinda wanted to 'speak now' at one wedding, though

Which one?

Haha, just kidding, I can guess!

I look around too fiery (where'd the rest of your name go, BTW?). No one's ever said anything. That would take some serious b@lls to say it though!

My name lost some weight

. It was getting annoying to *write out all of those numbers.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

I hadn''t seen what this thread was about! I''ve witnessed one!

Four, maybe five years ago, I was engaged to someone (not FI) and his sister was getting married. When the priest came to the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part, a very young woman stood up crying and begged the groom not to marry! It was very dramatic and emotional and guess what?....HE DIDN''T MARRY!

The bride was in shock that it happened at the wedding, but later we found out that he had been seeing the young girl (she was probably about 19-20) for over a year and the bride KNEW! The groom had confided in the bride months before that he wasn''t sure and that he was seeing someone else and even asked her to postpone the wedding. But the bride said no, that he would get over the girl (they had been together almost 7 years). But, the girl showed up and stopped the wedding!

Obviously, the couple split up as did my BF at the time and I, but I ran into the groom''s parents about two years ago and found out that the girl and the groom had gotten married afterall in a very quiet ceremony and how have a little girl.

Very dramatic, indeed. I can''t believe I hadn''t seen this thread!

 

[sunnyd]

Whoa!

...that''s embarrassing.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 6/10/2009 5:01:14 PM
Author: fiery

Date: 6/10/2009 4:48:08 PM
Author: sunnyd

Date: 6/10/2009 4:45:02 PM
Author: musey
We didn''t have that in our ceremony, either. I''ve never witnessed it. Kinda wanted to ''speak now'' at one wedding, though

Which one?

Haha, just kidding, I can guess!

I look around too fiery (where''d the rest of your name go, BTW?). No one''s ever said anything. That would take some serious b@lls to say it though!

My name lost some weight

. It was getting annoying to *write out all of those numbers.

I noticed this too...and I''ve been reading your posts twice over to make sure it''s the same person even though I recognize the av. I''m glad someone asked!

And to answer the question, no, I''ve never heard a story or witnessed it until reading this thread!

 

[Shoopy]

Wow wannab! That is both shoking and beautiful!

 

[Diamond Confused]

Well I haven''t seen it happen but what did happen was actually worse. A friend of mine, whose wedding I attended, was on her honeymoon when it all happened. Two days into her honeymoon the groom diappeared. While she was in the shower he grabbed his stuff and ran away. All he left was a note saying he wasn''t ready to be married after all. She is now dating a very handsome, rich, kind man.

 

[jcarlylew]

wannaBMrsH - that story is amazing! kinda of bitter sweet though!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I don''t think I have actually been to a wedding where the minister/priest/judge/etc ever asked that. I thought it was just in the movies.

 

[Hera]

They said it at my wedding and I''ve heard it at others. There''s usually this awkward silence and everyone looks around.

 

[Haven]

I didn''t know this question was ever actually asked! I''ve never heard it in a ceremony, I can imagine it would be an awkward moment.

WannaB, that must have been something to witness!

DiamondConfused--Whoa. That is crazy, and terribly sad.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Date: 6/10/2009 5:27:46 PM
Author: Diamond Confused
Well I haven''t seen it happen but what did happen was actually worse. A friend of mine, whose wedding I attended, was on her honeymoon when it all happened. Two days into her honeymoon the groom diappeared. While she was in the shower he grabbed his stuff and ran away. All he left was a note saying he wasn''t ready to be married after all. She is now dating a very handsome, rich, kind man.

That IS really sad!!!!!!!!!!

I honestly think the bride I mentioned above would have preferred that to being left standing there while the groom ran away.

 

[SparklyLibra]

Dang, those are some dramatic exits! I think I''d be traumatized if I was the honeymoon bride

I''m sorry if this sounds rude but honeymoon husband''s swift and sneaky disappearing act is kinda cowardly!

 

[JSM]

Some of these stories are

I heard this phrase at my courthouse wedding! It was funny because there were only 4 people in the room - myself, my husband, the officiant and the photographer. No one in there was objecting!

 

[doodle]

Date: 6/10/2009 4:35:17 PM
Author: NovemberBride
I have never actually heard this asked and I''ve easily been to 25+ weddings all over the country. I think it''s more of a movie thing, but maybe I am wrong? I know for sure it is not part fo the Catholic ceremony.

Actually, this question is about as Catholic as you can get. Ladies, here goes a brief history lesson on the "Speak now" bit. Once upon a time back in the day, the Catholic Church was all about posting the banns of marriage, or more simply just banns, before a couple could get married. The banns were simply a public announcement of a couple''s intention to wed. Under Canon Law before 1983, the banns had to be announced, or "asked," in the home parishes of both parties on three Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation prior to the marriage. This gave ample opportunity for someone to stop the marriage on several grounds: if one member of the couple was already married, had taken a vow of celibacy, if one person had not consented to the marriage, or if the two were too closely related to be eligible for marriage. The practice dates back to the Council of Trent in 1563!!! It originally had something to do with trying to track or invalidate weddings conducted in secret. According to wikipedia (siting my source because this is the one part of all this, sadly, that I didn''t know off the top of my head, haha!), "In England, under the provisions of Lord Hardwicke''s Marriage Act, a marriage is only legally valid if the reading of the banns has taken place or a marriage licence has been obtained, codifying earlier practice within the Church of England."

Now for the sad part--why do I know this? Because some friends of mine got married a while back, and everyone was so opposed to their getting married that we actually researched what would happen if one were to object--we were wondering if there were any circumstances where the pastor would be obligated to put a hold on the wedding! As it turns out, the couple might have caught on to the intentions of...well, everyone, because they got married with just them and a judge a week before their actual wedding. So much for objecting (although the groom''s mom still made her feelings known. Right before everyone went to walk down the aisle, his mom announces, "This is BULLSH!T!! I miss (fill in groom''s ex-girlfriend''s name here)!

 

[Diamond Confused]

Date: 6/10/2009 10:39:19 PM
Author: wannaBMrsH

Date: 6/10/2009 5:27:46 PM
Author: Diamond Confused
Well I haven''t seen it happen but what did happen was actually worse. A friend of mine, whose wedding I attended, was on her honeymoon when it all happened. Two days into her honeymoon the groom diappeared. While she was in the shower he grabbed his stuff and ran away. All he left was a note saying he wasn''t ready to be married after all. She is now dating a very handsome, rich, kind man.

That IS really sad!!!!!!!!!!

I honestly think the bride I mentioned above would have preferred that to being left standing there while the groom ran away.

WannaB - i have to say I agree. I think I''d rather be left at the honeymoon than at the alter. THe embarrassment and humiliation of being left at the alter would be much much worse. At least if you are left at the honeymoon you could tell people the marriage just wasn''t working out.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Date: 6/11/2009 1:10:57 PM
Author: doodle

Date: 6/10/2009 4:35:17 PM
Author: NovemberBride
I have never actually heard this asked and I''ve easily been to 25+ weddings all over the country. I think it''s more of a movie thing, but maybe I am wrong? I know for sure it is not part fo the Catholic ceremony.

Actually, this question is about as Catholic as you can get. Ladies, here goes a brief history lesson on the ''Speak now'' bit. Once upon a time back in the day, the Catholic Church was all about posting the banns of marriage, or more simply just banns, before a couple could get married. The banns were simply a public announcement of a couple''s intention to wed. Under Canon Law before 1983, the banns had to be announced, or ''asked,'' in the home parishes of both parties on three Sundays or Holy Days of Obligation prior to the marriage. This gave ample opportunity for someone to stop the marriage on several grounds: if one member of the couple was already married, had taken a vow of celibacy, if one person had not consented to the marriage, or if the two were too closely related to be eligible for marriage. The practice dates back to the Council of Trent in 1563!!! It originally had something to do with trying to track or invalidate weddings conducted in secret. According to wikipedia (siting my source because this is the one part of all this, sadly, that I didn''t know off the top of my head, haha!), ''In England, under the provisions of Lord Hardwicke''s Marriage Act, a marriage is only legally valid if the reading of the banns has taken place or a marriage licence has been obtained, codifying earlier practice within the Church of England.''

Now for the sad part--why do I know this? Because some friends of mine got married a while back, and everyone was so opposed to their getting married that we actually researched what would happen if one were to object--we were wondering if there were any circumstances where the pastor would be obligated to put a hold on the wedding! As it turns out, the couple might have caught on to the intentions of...well, everyone, because they got married with just them and a judge a week before their actual wedding. So much for objecting (although the groom''s mom still made her feelings known. Right before everyone went to walk down the aisle, his mom announces, ''This is BULLSH!T!! I miss (fill in groom''s ex-girlfriend''s name here)!

Wow! That is right up there in the dramatic department! In general, I think you have to wonder when people are so vehemently opposed to your marriage, if they have a point?

It''s kinda OT, but I have another thread going about ex-wife drama, and one of the things that I have made it a point to REALLY work on and restrain myself from screaming "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!?" at FI when his ex becomes overwhelming for me to deal with. Everyone that I have ever met that knows FI and his ex wife says that they TOLD him she was bad news, but he was in love. Two of his friends from forever, didn''t attend his first wedding because they say that they wouldn''t have been able to stop themselves if the "Speak Now" question had been posed. His parents gave us a very generous wedding gift because they didn''t give him a cent for his first wedding hoping that he wouldn''t be able to afford it. And yet, he married her. If my friends and family had reservations about him to that degree (where they refused to come and financially disowned me) I would have to sit and re-evaluate.

Thanks for the history lesson!

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Date: 6/11/2009 3:45:31 PM
Author: Diamond Confused

Date: 6/10/2009 10:39:19 PM
Author: wannaBMrsH

Date: 6/10/2009 5:27:46 PM
Author: Diamond Confused
Well I haven''t seen it happen but what did happen was actually worse. A friend of mine, whose wedding I attended, was on her honeymoon when it all happened. Two days into her honeymoon the groom diappeared. While she was in the shower he grabbed his stuff and ran away. All he left was a note saying he wasn''t ready to be married after all. She is now dating a very handsome, rich, kind man.

That IS really sad!!!!!!!!!!

I honestly think the bride I mentioned above would have preferred that to being left standing there while the groom ran away.

WannaB - i have to say I agree. I think I''d rather be left at the honeymoon than at the alter. THe embarrassment and humiliation of being left at the alter would be much much worse. At least if you are left at the honeymoon you could tell people the marriage just wasn''t working out.

Haha! Can you just picture it:

"Well things weren''t working out"
"But, WannaB, you were only married for 2 days!"
"Yes, but I tried for a whole day and a half!"

If my friends think I am a diva now, how would THAT go over!

 

[LadyBlue]

Date: 6/10/2009 4:35:17 PM
Author: NovemberBride
I have never actually heard this asked and I''ve easily been to 25+ weddings all over the country. I think it''s more of a movie thing, but maybe I am wrong? I know for sure it is not part fo the Catholic ceremony.

I don''t know about USA, but in the Catholic church in Mexico, that question is part of the Ceremony

 

[LadyBlue]

Date: 6/10/2009 5:04:13 PM
Author: wannaBMrsH
I hadn''t seen what this thread was about! I''ve witnessed one!


Four, maybe five years ago, I was engaged to someone (not FI) and his sister was getting married. When the priest came to the ''speak now or forever hold your peace'' part, a very young woman stood up crying and begged the groom not to marry! It was very dramatic and emotional and guess what?....HE DIDN''T MARRY!


The bride was in shock that it happened at the wedding, but later we found out that he had been seeing the young girl (she was probably about 19-20) for over a year and the bride KNEW! The groom had confided in the bride months before that he wasn''t sure and that he was seeing someone else and even asked her to postpone the wedding. But the bride said no, that he would get over the girl (they had been together almost 7 years). But, the girl showed up and stopped the wedding!


Obviously, the couple split up as did my BF at the time and I, but I ran into the groom''s parents about two years ago and found out that the girl and the groom had gotten married afterall in a very quiet ceremony and how have a little girl.


Very dramatic, indeed. I can''t believe I hadn''t seen this thread!

OMG

I would be devastated