- Joined
- Mar 29, 2005
- Messages
- 1,536
Upgradable -
There are a lot of different reasons why your husband might feel the way he does about borrowing from family. It may be that he''s seen those kind of situations go bad, it may be that the idea of owing money makes him uncomfortable and owing it to family just makes it worse, it may be he''d feel like less of a provider if he had to borrow money, it may be that he wants to save that inheritance for something else and not use it to pay day to day living expenses. Or it could be something else entirely. He might not even know why he feels the way he does. But if your goal in borrowing against the inheritance is to reduce your husband''s stress over financial issues, it sounds like borrowing the money would just change the nature of his stress rather than reduce it.
As for us, we don''t borrow from family. My husband and I paid our own way through college and grad school, and have always paid for houses, cars, and everything else with our own money. We were both raised by single mothers (divorced, widowed) and wouldn''t have asked or expected them to help out. My mother did contribute a modest amount for our wedding because she wanted to and was able to, but we didn''t ask or expect her to do so. And we''ve not needed assistance, which is partly due to luck but also due to very conservative spending habits. We don''t borrow money for anything except houses, and have never taken out a car loan in our lives. We start saving for the next car as soon as we''ve purchased the current one. And we have budgets for everything so we know where our money goes. This comes naturally to my husband but it''s not second nature to me. Over the years, I''ve learned to adapt because I''ve realized it really is a better way to live.
There are a lot of different reasons why your husband might feel the way he does about borrowing from family. It may be that he''s seen those kind of situations go bad, it may be that the idea of owing money makes him uncomfortable and owing it to family just makes it worse, it may be he''d feel like less of a provider if he had to borrow money, it may be that he wants to save that inheritance for something else and not use it to pay day to day living expenses. Or it could be something else entirely. He might not even know why he feels the way he does. But if your goal in borrowing against the inheritance is to reduce your husband''s stress over financial issues, it sounds like borrowing the money would just change the nature of his stress rather than reduce it.
As for us, we don''t borrow from family. My husband and I paid our own way through college and grad school, and have always paid for houses, cars, and everything else with our own money. We were both raised by single mothers (divorced, widowed) and wouldn''t have asked or expected them to help out. My mother did contribute a modest amount for our wedding because she wanted to and was able to, but we didn''t ask or expect her to do so. And we''ve not needed assistance, which is partly due to luck but also due to very conservative spending habits. We don''t borrow money for anything except houses, and have never taken out a car loan in our lives. We start saving for the next car as soon as we''ve purchased the current one. And we have budgets for everything so we know where our money goes. This comes naturally to my husband but it''s not second nature to me. Over the years, I''ve learned to adapt because I''ve realized it really is a better way to live.