Has COVID changed your relationships?

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

Has COVID changed your relationships? Especially with those with very different attitudes about it? What about family and friends?

It's definitely changed me and how I feel about others. It's easier to put other controversial topics aside, but I find it difficult when it comes to COVID.

 

[VRBeauty]

Covid has in some cases brought differing political viewpoints into sharp focus - and made it difficult to ignore them. Even more so than the first few (pre-covid) years of the last presidency.

A group that my husband had been part of for ten years decided to resume their monthly meetings indoors late last year before vaccines were available, and decided to discontinue the zoom/FaceTime option they had been using even before the pandemic for people who had moved. I guess my hubby declined to participate one too many times, because he’s now no longer included in planning or invited to meetings. Of course politics, exacerbated by the pandemic response, also played a role.

On the flip side, my (fully vaccinated) hubby recently decided that he’s fed up with masks, will no longer wear them indoors, and will simply not go places where they’re required. You pick your battles and I’ve decided not to engage in this one - for now. I’ll continue to mask up or avoid crowded indoor events when I feel it’s appropriate and I’ll go solo - or he will - when we disagree on the level precaution needed.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Nope, I was joking with my fully vaccinated friends. I told them to stay away from me b/c their vaccine had already expired.

 

[Calliecake]

Two of my friends didn’t take the virus as serious as I did at the beginning. Their attitudes was aligned with @Dancing Fire. One got angry with me because a relative of mine had decided to have her daughter attend remote learning, and I supported the decision my relative made. She called to apologize later that day for yelling me. Our relationship is fine.

The other friend has been in a panic the last few weeks. A person we knew recently died of Covid. Her grandchild’s favorite daycare worker now has Covid. I’ve been trying to help her stay calm the past week. She is very stressed at the possibility of her grandchild catching covid.

I’m not about to throw 30 year friendships away because we have different opinions. I’m truly grateful they have both decided to get vaccinated.

@Dancing Fire, I hope your luck doesn’t run out for you and your family. There is no fixing things when we forever lose a loved one. I find it odd that you don’t seem to realize this at your age.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Yes I've got slightly more respect for my parents who amazingly followed all health orders and got vaccinated with the AZ vaccine so that they didn't hog Pfizer from the young people (we have oceans of AZ in Australia but not as much Pfizer).

That was completely unexpected and has very much helped my relationship with them after a lifetime of ....... let's just call it "difficulties".

Also realised I have great friends and we all have such similar values. I think we probably only differ in terms of how many times a week we might go grocery shopping, someone might double mask vs another preferring mask and shield.

We're all gearing up for a reunion when they release us from jail in October and we're all on the same page. They're pretty awesome!

Hubby is apparently as sane or even saner than I thought he would be/was. 3 months into lockdown and the man is a sound as anything. Always saying and doing the right things. I don't know how he manages it. He's incredible!!!!! I married the right, stable person that I needed!!!!! Love him so much!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lookinagain]

I'm lucky I guess because all of my friends are on the same page as I am about COVID precautions, even if we aren't on the same political spectrum. And all but one of my colleagues is on the same page too re: vaccines and Covid. So no issues there either. So really the change in relationships is that I'm not seeing my friends much because we are all being very careful, even though vaccinated.
Now if I were to bring people like my hairdresser, or some local vendors, that's a different story. My hairdresser, who owns the salon, posted on FB that although they'd wear masks if a client asked, they wouldn't ask us if we were vaccinated and they didn't want us to ask them. I haven't been back.

 

[Dancing Fire]

@Dancing Fire, I hope your luck doesn’t run out for you and your family. There is no fixing things when we forever lose a loved one. I find it odd that you don’t seem to realize this at your age.

CC, I'm not against the vaccine but I don't like when the government trying to force it on everyone. Most of my friends are fully vaccinated. They are waiting for their 3rd shot. .

You can call it luck or whatever. I had never took a flu shot in my life. The last time I caught the flu was 40 yrs ago. Am I fearful about catching Covid?, Yes, do I get hysterical about it?, No. Being hysterical about Covid doesn't help my mental health. Like I said many times here on PS. we had been seeing our families and hugging our grandkids everyday during this pandemic.

 

[Calliecake]

I just want you and your family to remain healthy @Dancing Fire. I hope you know that.


I forgot to add that I am extremely grateful for my 3 close friends who view the virus the way I do.

 

[eapj]

I am struggling with my husband’s whole family. They refuse to get the vaccine or follow basic protocols unless forced to. I haven’t seen them in 18 months because they’re not being safe AT ALL and think the whole thing is completely overblown. This has also magnified their political views which are not in the same universe as my own (conspiracy theorists, the lot of them).

I’m struggling with having to have a relationship with them to be honest and have been much happier having no contact. Makes me a terrible person, I know. I truly can tolerate differences but this time in the world has brought some things to light that I tried to just ignore in the past (their selfish behavior that always disregards others, not just with Covid) and I’m trying to decide how much I want to tolerate.

Thankfully I’m surrounded by other loving friends and family, even if we don’t agree on everything (although most have similar approaches to Covid).

 

[Lookinagain]

Makes me a terrible person, I know.

No, it doesn't.

 

[eapj]

No, it doesn't.

Thank you for this. I’ve been really struggling with my thoughts about the whole thing.

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

No, it doesn't.

+1 @eapj You have to do what is best for your health (physical and mental). I'm in the same page as you. I honestly prefer the space and distance than get frustrated.

I can understand not wanting to be "forced" to get a vaccine, but I don't think it's worth taking the risk to be unvaccinated to prove a point or based on principle.

 

[eapj]

+1 @eapj You have to do what is best for your health (physical and mental). I'm in the same page as you. I honestly prefer the space and distance than get frustrated.

I can understand not wanting to be "forced" to get a vaccine, but I don't think it's worth taking the risk to be unvaccinated to prove a point or based on principle.

We all should feel okay doing what we need to for our mental health when it comes to cutting off or limiting contact. It’s so hard to actually do it (at least for me). But as I get older, I do allow myself more freedom to do what’s best for me.

Your comment about people proving a point makes so much sense. I’d rather people be safe and keep others safe (for those who can be safely vaccinated) than try to prove their point. And don’t get me started on the misinformation used to justify their point and position. At the end of the day, it a shame and any relationships are altered by Covid but in many cases it may just bring to light what was there and what we ignored or gave a pass to.

 

[mommylawyer]

I joined PS because of COVID. I was looking for a way to keep my mind off the pandemic. In that regard, it has improved my "virtual" relationships by giving me a happy place on the internet to spend my free time.

My other relationships haven't changed. All the important people in my life reacted to COVID just as I would have expected.

 

[Lookinagain]

but in many cases it may just bring to light what was there and what we ignored or gave a pass to.

I think this is very true. In the past, these differences didn't possibly mean life or death so you could associate with these people and just keep quiet to keep peace when differences arose. But now it's more serious. I think that so long as your husband understands, you should keep your distance if you feel you should. If your husband doesn't understand then that's a different conversation, but I hope that he does and supports you.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I forgot to add that I am extremely grateful for my 3 close friends who view the virus the way I do.

I have unvaccinated friends whom I ask to sit next to me, b/c some of the fully vaccinated are afraid to sit next to the unvaccinated when we go out for lunch.

 

[dk168]

Don't think so, however, I would not be surprised if Covid-19 becomes another topic to be avoided when I am out and about at social events, like politics, religion, sex and money!

DK

 

[Austina]

Fortunately all of our friends have been like minded, so it hasn’t been an issue. If we‘d had friends who weren’t vaccinated, we’d have kept in touch, but we wouldn’t have seen them during this time.

 

[Dancing Fire]

@Dancing Fire, I hope your luck doesn’t run out for you and your family. There is no fixing things when we forever lose a loved one. I find it odd that you don’t seem to realize this at your age.

That's true, but neither is gaining back the past 18 month of my life had I hid under my bed. Our 3 grandkids wouldn't be able to recognize me.

 

[Ally T]

Thankfully my entire family, my husbands family, my friends, work colleagues & associates have all now been fully vaccinated. I guess here in the UK the vaccine drive was large & wide from the get go. I haven't come across anybody who hasn't had their jabs. We don't ask 'if' they have, but more likely 'which' they had. And consequently we are slowly & cautiously returning to normal, though I do still wear my mask in the supermarket & crowded shops etc, as do most people I see in there.

If I am unknowingly with someone who chose not to be jabbed, that's their business. I know I am, for the most part, protected from the worst of the illness, as are my family. I have nieces & nephews who have caught it un-jabbed due to age (we are not currently vaccinating under 16's here) but have recovered very quickly, just suffering a temp & headache. My 6 year old nephew tested positive this week & is currently isolating (as best as you CAN isolate a 6 year old!) but he is fine now - he just had a headache on day 1 & 2. My sister reports that he is now, on day 4 of 10 days Isolation, climbing the walls, making a mess & doing her head in!

 

[GliderPoss]

I’m fortunate all my family align and most of my friends too. Its frustrating but I do respect others wishes to not vaccinate if they have legitimate reasons. We can encourage getting the vaccine but forcing people is a slippery slope… Our eventual herd immunity is the reason we can protect those who cannot. What I don’t care for is misinformation & outright BS spread on social media!

Here the lockdowns have taken a real toll on everyone and not technically achieved much so I do feel the state governments have enjoyed perpetuating fear to cement their own power. Very much over it.

 

[Calliecake]

I think the bottom line is you make things work with the people you love and care about. One of the people I love refuses to get vaccinated. I’m not happy about it but it doesn’t change my love for her or how I feel about her.

 

[MamaBee]

My three friends along with their husbands get together like Covid isn’t here. They keep inviting me but I have to always decline. I hope when Covid becomes manageable we can pick up where we left off. If not…I’ll be okay. I have to do what I feel comfortable doing. Covid isn‘t benign…

 

[Dancing Fire]

My three friends along with their husbands get together like Covid isn’t here. They keep inviting me but I have to always decline. I hope when Covid becomes manageable we can pick up where we left off. If not…I’ll be okay. I have to do what I feel comfortable doing. Covid isn‘t benign…

Yep!

 

[Calliecake]

@MamaBee, Hopefully it will be fine. Everyone has to do what makes them feel comfortable right now. I think most people understand that.

 

[MamaBee]

@MamaBee, Hopefully it will be fine. Everyone has to do what makes them feel comfortable right now. I think most people understand that.

Thanks @Calliecake..I hope so..

 

[lilmosun]

My three friends along with their husbands get together like Covid isn’t here. They keep inviting me but I have to always decline. I hope when Covid becomes manageable we can pick up where we left off. If not…I’ll be okay. I have to do what I feel comfortable doing. Covid isn‘t benign…

+1

We all have different risk tolerances. I don't judge others for their differences and haven't had anyone question mine. So from that perspective, I think we are good

I haven't had as much contact with friends than I did pre-Covid. I have always been more of a "get together in person" and pretty much stink at keeping in touch with calls/emails/texts. Between Covid and taking care of my mother since vaccinations, there hasn't been much opportunity to get together with friends. I know many have had get togethers I've had to miss and some have gone back fully to pre-covid living (seeing concerts, unmasked get togethers, etc). Things I was once part of. So yes, the dynamics of my friendships have changed for now but like @MamaBee hope that this is in a temporary fashion.

 

[Missy]

Yes, it has.
Most of my friends did not surprise me and they got vaccinated as soon as they were eligible.
And wear their masks and take safe Covid measures.

However some people did shock me and it has changed how I feel about them.
I lost all respect for a few people. People I did like and care about.

If one does not trust the science behind the vaccine; if one does not show common sense; and most importantly if one is negligent towards caring about others safety (those who for valid medical reasons are unable to get vaccinated)- it makes me question why would I be close with that person. Luckily this did not happen but in a few cases. And with none of my friends who I consider to be close friends.

But yes, if you don't give a fig about the welfare of others that is a deal breaker for me in any relationship especially a friend relationship.

Covid has been an eye opener.
About our country.
About our world.
And about relationships.

I take each unpleasant experience and try to learn from it and become a better person.
And that includes who I let into my life and who I no longer want to be involved in my life.

A long time ago I decided I had no time for nonsense. For games. For nasty or petty people.
What I learned a few years ago (which might be surprising given my age but I was lucky and maybe a bit naive) is that nasty and petty can be so easily disguised and some people who you would never think were that way truly are. Sad but true and not everyone reveals themselves quickly. But with time the truth always comes out.

And Covid cemented my feelings about the importance of others to care about our fellow human being in a way I wasn't completely cognizant of before. I personally always cared about the welfare of others but never realized how little importance some people place on this critical value. I have no time for people who don't give a cra* about others. I always felt that way but Covid put my feelings into sharp clarity.

How you treat me is but one factor in a relationship.
How you treat others is another critical factor
and how you care about those who need help the most (the most vulnerable individuals in our population) is another critical factor. A non negotiable factor for me.
Be a decent human being (which means give a damn about others)
or stay the F away from me.
Please. And thank you.

 

[eapj]

@missy such a fantastic post. I agree with all of it. Covid had also opened by eyes about things and people need and far.

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

What about those of you with immediate family or (formerly?) close friends with differing views and precautions? How do you manage those relationships?

I'm finding a lot of my friends while vaccinated are living a "normal" pre-COVID life - traveling, getting together with others, indoor dining, not masking, etc. They've expressed they "do not care" about getting COVID since likely they will be fine, and they can't be "afraid" and it's for their "mental health." Seems their point of view is those who are vulnerable can just stay home and isolate...