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Has anyone here ever turned down a proposal?

OreoRosies86

OreoRosies86

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
3,519
A marriage proposal, that is. Would love to hear some stories/perspectives...
 
Not a proposal per se but I had a boyfriend years ago that told me after we broke up and got back together that he had planned on proposing before the breakup

I told him well that's good because I would have had to hurt your feelings :twisted:
 
When I was in college, I dated a gentleman for a little over a month.:eek2: We had not been dating long enough by any standard to even consider marriage in my opinion. I guess he was head over heels and did not see that I was not. The proposal was the end of the relationship.
 
Dated a guy in college for a couple of years. He would ask me every couple of months (no ring) and I would say, "No". After we graduated and got
jobs we moved in together. Only took about a month to figure out that he was controlling. Took me a couple of months to get the point across
and move out. I dont think he thought what he was doing was controlling. It was for the "good of the relationship". Nope, not when it was always
me having to make the sacrifice and never him. I think he started seeing a psychologist after me. I hope he was able to work things out for the "good
of future relationships".:lol::cheeky:
 
I proposed to about a dozen ladies here and so far none of them said YES! ;(;(
 
I was proposed to (without a ring) by an ex whilst living in New Zealand, some 15 years ago now. He was 22 years older than me, extremely successful & EXTREMELY controlling. He always decided what I would wear to functions & wanted me to be a certain way that didn't feel natural to me, choosing my underwear, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. I wanted to come home (back to the UK) so made a break for it whilst he was away on business. He was scary & it was only after I left, selling all my possessions online in a hurry, boxing up the rest into tea chests for a mate in a shipping company & making my way through the Never To Be Touched section of the wine cellar with my girlfriends as parting shot, that I realised how he had messed up my brain & completely controlled me. When I got home I recieved an email from him to say I was ugly, worthless & nothing without him. Urgh! B@stard!!
 
Alex T said:
I was proposed to (without a ring) by an ex whilst living in New Zealand, some 15 years ago now. He was 22 years older than me, extremely successful & EXTREMELY controlling. He always decided what I would wear to functions & wanted me to be a certain way that didn't feel natural to me, choosing my underwear, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. I wanted to come home (back to the UK) so made a break for it whilst he was away on business. He was scary & it was only after I left, selling all my possessions online in a hurry, boxing up the rest into tea chests for a mate in a shipping company & making my way through the Never To Be Touched section of the wine cellar with my girlfriends as parting shot, that I realised how he had messed up my brain & completely controlled me. When I got home I recieved an email from him to say I was ugly, worthless & nothing without him. Urgh! B@stard!!
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Glad you got away! How frightening it must have been.
 
Alex T said:
I was proposed to (without a ring) by an ex whilst living in New Zealand, some 15 years ago now. He was 22 years older than me, extremely successful & EXTREMELY controlling. He always decided what I would wear to functions & wanted me to be a certain way that didn't feel natural to me, choosing my underwear, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. I wanted to come home (back to the UK) so made a break for it whilst he was away on business. He was scary & it was only after I left, selling all my possessions online in a hurry, boxing up the rest into tea chests for a mate in a shipping company & making my way through the Never To Be Touched section of the wine cellar with my girlfriends as parting shot, that I realised how he had messed up my brain & completely controlled me. When I got home I recieved an email from him to say I was ugly, worthless & nothing without him. Urgh! B@stard!!
Click to expand...

WOW, that is scary. I am glad you got out of there!
 
Alex T said:
I was proposed to (without a ring) by an ex whilst living in New Zealand, some 15 years ago now. He was 22 years older than me, extremely successful & EXTREMELY controlling. He always decided what I would wear to functions & wanted me to be a certain way that didn't feel natural to me, choosing my underwear, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. I wanted to come home (back to the UK) so made a break for it whilst he was away on business. He was scary & it was only after I left, selling all my possessions online in a hurry, boxing up the rest into tea chests for a mate in a shipping company & making my way through the Never To Be Touched section of the wine cellar with my girlfriends as parting shot, that I realised how he had messed up my brain & completely controlled me. When I got home I recieved an email from him to say I was ugly, worthless & nothing without him. Urgh! B@stard!!
Click to expand...

Glad you got away!

So...what wine was it? :mrgreen2:
 
I turned down 3 proposals from DH and told him I'd let him know if I changed my mind. Three years after his last proposal, I told him I was ready.
 
Sort of.
I was 23 and seeing a man who had bought me a pair of diamond stud earrings. He mentioned that the store had a very nice selection of engagement rings. I pretended not to hear and was inches from a clean getaway when he said " hey, do you hear me". So I said I think we're too young for that! I had broken an engagement prior to this and I really didn't want to get tied down to anyone.
And then I met my husband.....
 
Although we’ve been married 40 years at Christmas, DH didn’t technically propose to me :lol:
 
I haven’t turned down a marriage proposal but I have turned down other “proposals” by men. :lol-2:
 
Alex T said:
I was proposed to (without a ring) by an ex whilst living in New Zealand, some 15 years ago now. He was 22 years older than me, extremely successful & EXTREMELY controlling. He always decided what I would wear to functions & wanted me to be a certain way that didn't feel natural to me, choosing my underwear, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. I wanted to come home (back to the UK) so made a break for it whilst he was away on business. He was scary & it was only after I left, selling all my possessions online in a hurry, boxing up the rest into tea chests for a mate in a shipping company & making my way through the Never To Be Touched section of the wine cellar with my girlfriends as parting shot, that I realised how he had messed up my brain & completely controlled me. When I got home I recieved an email from him to say I was ugly, worthless & nothing without him. Urgh! B@stard!!
Click to expand...
Holy crap! Glad you got away from that guy. He sounds awful
 
I am about 90% sure a boy I had been dating for 3 months was going to propose on our first vacation together, I broke up with him 3 weeks prior to the trip because he was giving off “that vibe” he even said he had saved up all this money and what was he going to do now? I told him buy a new Jeep with it.

My first proposal was from my high school sweetheart, he proposed and then told me to not tell his mother or wear the ring around her, I gave it back to him and advised him to get his money back since he was in no way ready for marriage. Then another guy I had been dating wanted to get married for the extra military benefits, that was a flat no and we are still friends today lol
 
I wish I had turned down two but I let it get too far, though I only actually married one of them. Would have been better in the end to turn them down. Good on the ladies who had it in them to say no.
 
Yes, twice. In each case it was a person I cared for but I was not interested in marriage at that particular time. One person took it very hard, and the other one was more flexible.
 
I was married for a long time but the proposal happened after what was basically 5 minutes (ok it was a bit longer than that) of dating. The beginning of a relationship is so whirlwind and exciting!

This time around my guy was talking about a proposal sometime within the next year and I am so completely all set either way. If we ever get married, cool. If we don't that's totally cool too. I don't know if I'd say yes but I don't think it would be a no either. Maybe a really long or permanent engagement :lol:

My views on marriage have shifted so dramatically since my divorce.
 
I was terrible, I couldn’t say no to people. I’m a people pleaser. So, much to my embarrassment I said yes 3 times and 3 times had to give back the engagement ring. Oops.
 
Bron357 said:
I was terrible, I couldn’t say no to people. I’m a people pleaser. So, much to my embarrassment I said yes 3 times and 3 times had to give back the engagement ring. Oops.
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Why???, The diamonds were too small? :lol:
 
I dated a guy for 7 years from the time I finished high school and during the time I was at University and he walked me into a jewellery shop to a smiling sales assistant and they put a 1.50 carat diamond ring on my finger and the shop girls were all beaming he was beaming and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. He said how about it and I got out of there as quickly as possible.

Looking back at the time we were both young and he was incredibly immature. Still and all, he was probably a much better match than the person I married, he just needed to grow up a bit. It's a pity really because if I had met him and had a relationship later in life I think things would have turned out very differently.
 
Alex T said:
I was proposed to (without a ring) by an ex whilst living in New Zealand, some 15 years ago now. He was 22 years older than me, extremely successful & EXTREMELY controlling. He always decided what I would wear to functions & wanted me to be a certain way that didn't feel natural to me, choosing my underwear, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. I wanted to come home (back to the UK) so made a break for it whilst he was away on business. He was scary & it was only after I left, selling all my possessions online in a hurry, boxing up the rest into tea chests for a mate in a shipping company & making my way through the Never To Be Touched section of the wine cellar with my girlfriends as parting shot, that I realised how he had messed up my brain & completely controlled me. When I got home I recieved an email from him to say I was ugly, worthless & nothing without him. Urgh! B@stard!!
Click to expand...

Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Sure, “you’re ugly”...that’s why he was with you!! What a jerk!! Good riddance!!! :x2
 
Bron357 said:
I was terrible, I couldn’t say no to people. I’m a people pleaser. So, much to my embarrassment I said yes 3 times and 3 times had to give back the engagement ring. Oops.
Click to expand...
So funny! :P2
 
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