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Has anyone else been downgrading their ring before getting it??

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psaddict

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2006
Messages
105
I think I may be pretty weird here. I know my guy is planning to propose and is ring shopping because a friend of mine let something slip. Since I know anyway now, my friend is asking for me to give input so she can go to him with the advice about what I want.

So... in the span of a couple of months, I''ve downgraded my non-existant future ring many, many times! Keep in mind, nothing has changed with our financial situation, no new problems/expenses have surfaced. I started out thinking a 1.5 carat rock would be just perfect. It would look large on my small fingers without being too big. I even thought sidestones would be great with that rock. Then.. I started thinking something in the 1.2 range would be better. When I started looking at prices for a 1.5 carat... I started imagining all the things we could buy if I could just knock 1K or 2K off the price. We could take an engagement vacation! We could buy a plasma TV for our new place! THEN... I started thinking that getting something in the 0.9-0.99 -ish range would be perfect... because it would look like a carat, which is considered a classic size that''s large without being showy... and save so much money because when you hit that magical 1.0 mark they charge a little more for it. I''ll spare you the rest of the details but basically I then went down to a three stone ring that''s 1.0 tcw and now am thinking of maybe a simple 5 stone or 7 stone band that''s 1.0 tcw for my engagement ring, and getting a small, delicate eternity band as my wedding ring. Just cause I like the look of stacked bands AND.. it would be so much bling without a high price tag!! I really don''t know what my problem is. I know that my boyfriend would get me whatever would make me happy (within reason of course!!) and we aren''t strapped for cash or in debt or anything like that. But I already think of our money as OUR money... and since we aren''t exactly millionaires, I''ve started fantasizing about what we could do with the rest of the ring money if I kept things simple. I''ve actually started looking up vacation deals and gazing at condos!!

Are homes and vacations my "bling"? Does anyone else suffer from diamond downgrade syndrome or am I alone here?
 

larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
1,747
I definately do not think you''re alone here! It''s a common syndrome, actually, sort of a debate b/w wanting what you want and stepping in and saying "well I could get such and such" for such price etc. As humans, we tend to want things emotionally but then before we buy them we think more "rationally" or "adulty" as I like to so un-eloquently put it.

For example: I was dead set on 1ct total weight 5 stone wedding band for about 2500. Started thinking about it, adult side kicked in said "that''s an awful lot of money" while my emotional side was like "I WANT IT" haha. I compromised with myself, so to speak, and my wedding band will be .75 ctw in 11 stones, which will prob look better anyways with my ,98 ct engagement stone, and will cost about 1K, so less than 1/2 of what I originally was thinking.

I think you just need to find a happy medium where your emotional side will be satisfied but your analytical/adult side will be as well, so that you can justify your purchase intellectually to yourself. May sound overly psychological, but I think that if you can get something you''re happy with for a good price you''ll be happy. Hell, I''d love a 2 carat stone, but I am happy with the 1 b/c it looks good on me and is not as expensive. If that makes sense...
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
11,016
I have never done it, but it makes sense. There are choices to be made, priorities...so if you look at a bigger stone and think, vacation, or tv, than that is what is more important to you and you should do what makes you happy.

For me, and this might sound selfish but...the tv was for my dh too, and if HE wanted it he would get it anyway. A trip is great, but not long lasting (memories and photos are great, but are not on your hand and being seen daily)...so to me, I wanted a bigger ring that would make me happy each time I looked at it. But, that is why there are all kinds of options in the world, and so I think even if everyone you knew thought it was weird, so what? Do the things that work for you, in time, you will have all the things you want to have, and that is what matters...
 

psaddict

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2006
Messages
105
I'm glad I'm not alone!! Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of having a gorgeous ring on my finger to symbolize the bond & love between me and my future hubby. But thinking of the amount of money.. then thinking about paying an extra insurance bill every month... I guess the whole process has made me realize that having a lot of money on my finger would make me feel nervous and possibly a little guilty, and I feel less guilty about something like a vacation, that no crazy person can steal off my finger
Who knows, maybe I'm too practical for my own good!
The funny thing is that even though I've decided to get something simple... this hasn't stopped me from scouring every website and drooling over every ring that's like the one I hope to get now!

By the way, did you post a picture of your 11 stone on here? Your band sounds really pretty. If you have, would you mind linking?
thank you!! I'm thinking of having a band with larger stones (around .15 or .20) paired with a band of smaller stones, (maybe .05 to .10) and am trying to look at every sized band on PS
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
7,485
I started off determined to get a 1c stone. Then we went diamond shopping and I discovered something I didn''t know about myself in regards to diamonds (as I hadn''t purchased any prior to my e-ring), I am color sensitive. This should have come as no suprise to me, knowing my personality, but it changed my ideas about what I wanted. I ended up getting a .74 with beautiful cut and color. Also, I knew i wanted side stones in my setting and e-ring so that meant I had to adjust my center stone size to accomodate as I had a budget to stick to. I did go over bodget a tad bit but not horribly. (I don''t know what the budget was, DH shared it with the sales person and she showed us stones and settings w/i our price range).
 

starryeyed

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 6, 2006
Messages
2,398
Date: 12/11/2006 1:14:30 AM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

I think you just need to find a happy medium where your emotional side will be satisfied but your analytical/adult side will be as well, so that you can justify your purchase intellectually to yourself.
I think Sweetpea makes a lot of sense here. You want something that you can feel good about as a symbol or your love and commitment, but you also want something that fits your personality and lifestyle.

My thoughts have changed over time and currently I feel that the ring and the size diamond aren''t really what matters. I think what means more is the process that you and your guy go through. The story that you can tell about it and the meaning it holds for you is what matters. If you get something less expensive, be sure to spend the extra money on something that you will share together and have incredible memories of - like a special trip/vacation together. I don''t think you should use the money for electronics or something that grows obsolete with time.
 

winternight

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2006
Messages
887
I think you should focus on finding out which style(s) of rings you really love. Enjoy getting to pick out your dream ring!

It is alot of money but its also something you will be wearing everyday and it won''t wear out or be shared like a tv or vacation. Your fiance may also have ideas about how much he wants to spend or what kind of ring he wants to see you wear - sometimes a guy''s ego gets involved in the decision. Maybe instead of thinking size, you could think about quality/shape/cut.

I''ve had my guilty moments since I''m picking out my own ring, but usually the sparkles distract me from the guilt.
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
Date: 12/11/2006 4:32:43 AM
Author: psaddict
I''m glad I''m not alone!! Don''t get me wrong, I love the idea of having a gorgeous ring on my finger to symbolize the bond & love between me and my future hubby. But thinking of the amount of money.. then thinking about paying an extra insurance bill every month... I guess the whole process has made me realize that having a lot of money on my finger would make me feel nervous and possibly a little guilty, and I feel less guilty about something like a vacation, that no crazy person can steal off my finger
Who knows, maybe I''m too practical for my own good!
The funny thing is that even though I''ve decided to get something simple... this hasn''t stopped me from scouring every website and drooling over every ring that''s like the one I hope to get now!

By the way, did you post a picture of your 11 stone on here? Your band sounds really pretty. If you have, would you mind linking?
thank you!! I''m thinking of having a band with larger stones (around .15 or .20) paired with a band of smaller stones, (maybe .05 to .10) and am trying to look at every sized band on PS
You guys aren''t nuts.... but I would highly recommend you get SOMETHING like an engagement ring, even if it is a little 25 point diamond or something.... something that you can upgrade way later down the road when money is easier to come by and it''s harder to feel guilty for spending on yourself like that lol Either that or tell them to save their money now and some day down the road you''ll get something.... just don''t do like I did and tell them that some day at THEIR discretion lol Tell them someday at YOUR discretion rofl!!! I feel a little guilty spending so much when we haven''t been to europe or other things, but we weren''t spending the money on that stuff *anyway* so why not on this?
 

mtrb

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 8, 2003
Messages
207
Priorities, priorities, priorities.... a place to live is more important than what you wear on your finger or a car or a boat.... That said it is funny to me when I see some people make poor choices.. I know a woman that constantly complains about how she can never afford a home, but pays rent and has 3 cars between her and her boyfriend. They are financing $1300 (nice cars) a month in car payments. They made an investment that will only go down in value.... thats just dumn. I don’t feel bad for her lol. She doesnt have her priorities straight.
Sounds like you are logical and smart. All this stuff is just gravy, and not really what is important in your life. If you can get it.. than do so, otherwise spend your $$ on the important stuff..like the turkey. Then go for the gravy once youve got the stuff that matters.
 

larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
1,747
I don''t have any handshots on ME yet, but I have this from the signed pieces webpage...and I have tulip''s handshot of her 11 stone .6 ctw band, hopefully she will not mind me posting it! I had a hard time deciding b/w the 9 stone .5 ctw and the 11 .75 because both were probably good for me, but I decided in the end to spend the extra $250 and go for the larger one.

ordered213432.JPG
 

larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
1,747
Tulip's 11 stone .6 ctw. Her e-ring band is very similar to mine, so this gave me a good idea of what to expect:

5pionters 11 stone.jpg
 

larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
1,747
Date: 12/11/2006 4:32:43 AM
Author: psaddict
I''m glad I''m not alone!! Don''t get me wrong, I love the idea of having a gorgeous ring on my finger to symbolize the bond & love between me and my future hubby. But thinking of the amount of money.. then thinking about paying an extra insurance bill every month... I guess the whole process has made me realize that having a lot of money on my finger would make me feel nervous and possibly a little guilty, and I feel less guilty about something like a vacation, that no crazy person can steal off my finger
Who knows, maybe I''m too practical for my own good!
The funny thing is that even though I''ve decided to get something simple... this hasn''t stopped me from scouring every website and drooling over every ring that''s like the one I hope to get now!

By the way, did you post a picture of your 11 stone on here? Your band sounds really pretty. If you have, would you mind linking?
thank you!! I''m thinking of having a band with larger stones (around .15 or .20) paired with a band of smaller stones, (maybe .05 to .10) and am trying to look at every sized band on PS
Signed pieces has bands with smaller stones as well (eternitys and half eternities) so you may want to check them out. They make an 11 stone band with 3 pointers that is beautiful as well.
 
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