Hair loss... so sad

[Begonia]

Hi all,

I'm so sad. My hair is falling out. I'm not exactly sure why but could be stress (bullied and harassed at work), meds (alendronate for osteoporosis) , thyroid, low iron, all of the above or even more.

I've just gone to the doc, who has ordered blood work (iron and thyroid). I was almost done taking the alendronate as you need to stop after a few years, so I went off of it. The side effects were tough and now the hair possibly??? Nope.

My bangs are disappearing fast and my part up front is freaking me out. 3 months ago it was fine, I think?

I'd grown my hair out 6 years ago after a 25 year pixie and it used to be pretty. Not as full as I'd like after menopause, but it was wavy and pewter color. Now it's lifeless and... leaving me.

I'm thinking of cutting it shorter. It's currently just below shoulder (lob) as I was growing it after a disastrous (and no asked for) shag cut last year. Maybe if I cut it, the thinning won't be so noticeable I dunno...

The doctor has suggested Rogaine mousse. I'm nervous about it but desperate not to lose anymore.

This s*cks and I wanna cry.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

I'm so sorry, that's definitely hard. I'm hugging you right now. Big old squeeze.
The good thing is you're getting it checked out. It could be all kinds of things and it's a lot more common than you'd think. It doesn't get talked about nearly enough. It's a stupid stigma. I'm expecting it to happen to me at some point soon, I've always been a major shedder. My mother had major hair loss and my sister has started. Ours is in the front, too. My sister tried all the things, they definitely slowed it but she ended up getting an amazing quality lace front from a wigmaker in her city. It costs but it was just easier in the end. Now, she just has a fabulous mane. I'm going to get one at some point. I want fabulous hair too, and guess what? We can buy it now, so that's what I'm going to do.
Maybe it will be stress or hormones in a way that can be reversed, but if it can't it's going to be okay.
You're beautiful.
You'll be beautiful still.

 

[jewelryj]

I’m sorry
I know firsthand it’s rough. I have multiple autoimmune conditions and the mixed connective tissue disorder greatly thinned my hair by 36 and caused/causes intense scalp pain and lesions. In the past 2 months I also developed two completely bald patches of alopecia areata.
I’ve been buzzing my hair since 2019 and wearing wigs. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes sad. And sometimes I just think hey, one less thing to deal with.
I have my fingers crossed you find a resolution and continue to feel great about yourself, as you deserve.

 

[Ally T]

This is sad to read & I am sending you big hugs. I have written about hair loss on here before. I know “it’s only hair” but it is WAY more than that.

I’m glad your Dr is doing blood tests & hopefully you will get answers & resolution. Mine has always been hormone related & I am very sensitive to change. When pregnant, both times it was thick with beautiful curls, very long & shiny. Postpartum shed left me with visible scalp. Coming off the Pill left me with visible scalp. Having a coil fitted resulted in handfuls of loss 6 weeks later, which settled after removal. I started HRT in May this year & 5 weeks in the same thing was happening - the synthetic progesterone was the same in both products. I was changed to body identical micronised progesterone & it has settled again & is slowly recovering.

Hair loss is sh!tty & my heart aches for you. I hope you can halt it & allow some recovery. Please keep us posted on your blood results & how you are getting on.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Hi all,

I'm so sad. My hair is falling out. I'm not exactly sure why but could be stress (bullied and harassed at work), meds (alendronate for osteoporosis) , thyroid, low iron, all of the above or even more.

I've just gone to the doc, who has ordered blood work (iron and thyroid). I was almost done taking the alendronate as you need to stop after a few years, so I went off of it. The side effects were tough and now the hair possibly??? Nope.

My bangs are disappearing fast and my part up front is freaking me out. 3 months ago it was fine, I think?

I'd grown my hair out 6 years ago after a 25 year pixie and it used to be pretty. Not as full as I'd like after menopause, but it was wavy and pewter color. Now it's lifeless and... leaving me.

I'm thinking of cutting it shorter. It's currently just below shoulder (lob) as I was growing it after a disastrous (and no asked for) shag cut last year. Maybe if I cut it, the thinning won't be so noticeable I dunno...

The doctor has suggested Rogaine mousse. I'm nervous about it but desperate not to lose anymore.

This s*cks and I wanna cry.

im so sorry to read this
my workmate's grandaughter who is at uni has just been diagnozed with alapetia -excuse spelling, her gp is sending her to a dermatolight
the doc gave her steriod cream to use while she waits for the apoinment with the specialist
i do understand how worrying this is
Gary's late daughter lost her hair to chemo but somehow she managed to embrace and rock the baldness, i do know how important our hair is to us ladies and personally, to self confidence
but our hair does not define us and all your friends and all of us still love our Begonia no matter what your dear old head looks like
best wishes for the blood test results
love Nicky

 

[Piper70]

I’ve nothing helpful to add except sending hugs and hoping you find something that helps. Hope the work situation improves too!

 

[missy]

Hi @Begonia I am sorry you are dealing with this.

Some labs I would recommend running.

Thyroid (ft3, ft4, rt3, tpo, Tgab), iron profile, ferritin, estradiol, progesterone, free and total testosterone, DHT, D, Mg, Zinc and B12 to start. And I highly recommend doing a ZRT 24 hour saliva adrenal cortisol test.

These labs can provide clues as to why and is a good place to start. Sending you gentle hugs

 

[Begonia]

I'm so sorry, that's definitely hard. I'm hugging you right now. Big old squeeze.
The good thing is you're getting it checked out. It could be all kinds of things and it's a lot more common than you'd think. It doesn't get talked about nearly enough. It's a stupid stigma. I'm expecting it to happen to me at some point soon, I've always been a major shedder. My mother had major hair loss and my sister has started. Ours is in the front, too. My sister tried all the things, they definitely slowed it but she ended up getting an amazing quality lace front from a wigmaker in her city. It costs but it was just easier in the end. Now, she just has a fabulous mane. I'm going to get one at some point. I want fabulous hair too, and guess what? We can buy it now, so that's what I'm going to do.
Maybe it will be stress or hormones in a way that can be reversed, but if it can't it's going to be okay.
You're beautiful.
You'll be beautiful still.

Thank you... I'm crying, but thank you.
It was so heartfelt, what you said. I'm gonna lean into that hug for a while ok?

 

[Begonia]

I’m sorry
I know firsthand it’s rough. I have multiple autoimmune conditions and the mixed connective tissue disorder greatly thinned my hair by 36 and caused/causes intense scalp pain and lesions. In the past 2 months I also developed two completely bald patches of alopecia areata.
I’ve been buzzing my hair since 2019 and wearing wigs. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes sad. And sometimes I just think hey, one less thing to deal with.
I have my fingers crossed you find a resolution and continue to feel great about yourself, as you deserve.

I'm sorry for you tough hair
journey too. I'm thinking I'll buzz it off if need be too. Gosh, I'm getting tired from these d@mn life lessons. I'm so grateful you shared... thank you.

 

[Begonia]

This is sad to read & I am sending you big hugs. I have written about hair loss on here before. I know “it’s only hair” but it is WAY more than that.

I’m glad your Dr is doing blood tests & hopefully you will get answers & resolution. Mine has always been hormone related & I am very sensitive to change. When pregnant, both times it was thick with beautiful curls, very long & shiny. Postpartum shed left me with visible scalp. Coming off the Pill left me with visible scalp. Having a coil fitted resulted in handfuls of loss 6 weeks later, which settled after removal. I started HRT in May this year & 5 weeks in the same thing was happening - the synthetic progesterone was the same in both products. I was changed to body identical micronised progesterone & it has settled again & is slowly recovering.

Hair loss is sh!tty & my heart aches for you. I hope you can halt it & allow some recovery. Please keep us posted on your blood results & how you are getting on.

It's way more isn't it? Sigh. It's something I've always feared, and here it is. Here we go.

I'm glad yours has stabilized... did I read that right? Thank goodness if so.

Will do, to the blood tests. Labs are back logged around here so is taking a week to get in.

 

[lala646]

@Begonia I know a lot of people can't tolerate the Rogaine mousse. I thought this article in the NY Times last year about low-dose oral Monoxidil was really interesting. Maybe try asking your doctor about that?

An Old Medicine Grows New Hair for Pennies a Day, Doctors Say (Published 2022)

Dermatologists who specialize in hair loss say that the key ingredient in a topical treatment worked even better when taken orally at a low dose.

www.nytimes.com

And this was the referenced journal publication:

Female pattern hair loss: a pilot study investigating combination therapy with low-dose oral minoxidil and spironolactone - PubMed

Once daily capsules containing minoxidil 0.25 mg and spironolactone 25 mg appear to be safe and effective in the treatment of FPHL. Placebo-controlled studies to investigate this further are warranted.

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

[Begonia]

im so sorry to read this
my workmate's grandaughter who is at uni has just been diagnozed with alapetia -excuse spelling, her gp is sending her to a dermatolight
the doc gave her steriod cream to use while she waits for the apoinment with the specialist
i do understand how worrying this is
Gary's late daughter lost her hair to chemo but somehow she managed to embrace and rock the baldness, i do know how important our hair is to us ladies and personally, to self confidence
but our hair does not define us and all your friends and all of us still love our Begonia no matter what your dear old head looks like
best wishes for the blood test results
love Nicky

Awwww thanks sweet lady. I'm trying to remember those things. I'm begonia with or without a full head of hair. Thanks for sharing... especially about Gary's daughter. Gives me some much needed perspective.


Love Kelly

 

[Begonia]

I’ve nothing helpful to add except sending hugs and hoping you find something that helps. Hope the work situation improves too!

I'm taking all the hugs i can get! It is slowly improving. The predator is being watched and reported. Sigh. I'll never understand why that happens.

 

[Begonia]

Hi @Begonia I am sorry you are dealing with this.

Some labs I would recommend running.

Thyroid (ft3, ft4, rt3, tpo, Tgab), iron profile, ferritin, estradiol, progesterone, free and total testosterone, DHT, D, Mg, Zinc and B12 to start. And I highly recommend doing a ZRT 24 hour saliva adrenal cortisol test.

These labs can provide clues as to why and is a good place to start. Sending you gentle hugs

Ok! Wonder why my doc didn't? Is she starting with the most obvious ya reckon? Regardless, I'll see her with the initial results and run further testing by her. Thank you missy. I'm pretty lost about what to do. I'm taking that gentle hug and maybe we can go for a walk too? In the trees?

 

[Begonia]

@Begonia I know a lot of people can't tolerate the Rogaine mousse. I thought this article in the NY Times last year about low-dose oral Monoxidil was really interesting. Maybe try asking your doctor about that?

An Old Medicine Grows New Hair for Pennies a Day, Doctors Say (Published 2022)

Dermatologists who specialize in hair loss say that the key ingredient in a topical treatment worked even better when taken orally at a low dose.

www.nytimes.com

Ok! I'm nervous about the Rogaine. I'll read this very shortly! Thank you!!

 

[bling_dream19]

I've read a lot about rosemary oil and that helping to make hair grow. I haven't tried it yet but I plan on it. Yes, please report the bully. That is intolerable and you deserve to work in peace and with respect.

 

[yssie]

Oh, B.

After everything you’ve been through - this isn’t fair. I’m so sorry. Completely understand and agree with everyone else, it is NOT just hair.

Really really big ::HUGS::.

 

[Ally T]

I've read a lot about rosemary oil and that helping to make hair grow. I haven't tried it yet but I plan on it. Yes, please report the bully. That is intolerable and you deserve to work in peace and with respect.

I started using a rosemary oil from Kerastase 5 weeks ago, that my hairdresser recommended. It’s called Anti Hair Fall. I use it twice a week & a different caffeine tonic in between. I think these, combined with the natural HRT, have all contributed to slowing down the shed. It could be better, but it could be worse. Thankfully I have a lot of hair (albeit very fine) so others don’t notice.

I have kept short layers over the last few years to make it look thicker, but actually my new hairdresser (mine has been on Mat leave since April) suggested we grow the layers out into a bob to thicken it up, as the layers were removing density. It’s taking a while & I keep my hair currently neck length (not quite to my shoulders) but it is definitely looking better.

 

[Begonia]

I've read a lot about rosemary oil and that helping to make hair grow. I haven't tried it yet but I plan on it. Yes, please report the bully. That is intolerable and you deserve to work in peace and with respect.

I'd been using Rosemary tincture (a rosemary tea) for a few months before the shedding, as I wanted my hair to grow out that awful shag. It seemed to help with growth and the hair was shiny. I've stopped since the shedding kicked up big time, as I was concerned there might be a link? My scalp was never irritated at all, so I might be overthinking that.

The bully has a file a mile wide now and yet she's still with the company. Just yesterday, I heard she pushed a coworker (they work on a vessel). I'm hoping HR takes that as the final straw.

 

[Begonia]

I started using a rosemary oil from Kerastase 5 weeks ago, that my hairdresser recommended. It’s called Anti Hair Fall. I use it twice a week & a different caffeine tonic in between. I think these, combined with the natural HRT, have all contributed to slowing down the shed. It could be better, but it could be worse. Thankfully I have a lot of hair (albeit very fine) so others don’t notice.

I have kept short layers over the last few years to make it look thicker, but actually my new hairdresser (mine has been on Mat leave since April) suggested we grow the layers out into a bob to thicken it up, as the layers were removing density. It’s taking a while & I keep my hair currently neck length (not quite to my shoulders) but it is definitely looking better.

I'll try this rosemary oil, thank you for the recommendation! I've got an appt on Tuesday with a hairdresser to explore options. I'm sad to cut my hair off but watching it shed is too painful.
Wouldn't you know I look awful with bobs? To be honest, the longer lob wasn't really working for me, altho I had good hair days LOL. I think I also just liked having some longer hair after 25 years short. Kinda thinking about this... altho I hate that all these gals are models ya know?

 

[Begonia]

Oh, B.

After everything you’ve been through - this isn’t fair. I’m so sorry. Completely understand and agree with everyone else, it is NOT just hair.

Really really big ::HUGS::.

D@mn girl. D@mn... leaning into that hug. Put the kettle on eh? Daisy, bring the cake and let's get wasted on carbs.

I'm so logical on the one hand and think work the problem, just work the problem. Then I look into the mirror and get so sad. Then I kick myself in the butt and say hey hey hey, you ain't got chemo hair loss, what are you whining about? Lemme tell you, it's a real party going on inside my head.

I do have some good news tho. My boy graduated Computer Science Uni the other day. We went to his convocation. They had First Nation's drummers and chanters to usher the graduates in. It was so moving. So moving. I'll never forget it.

 

[yssie]

I would love to learn when in the history of, like, women’s culture - it became normal for us to feel compelled to gaslight ourselves. If I could identify the one or two people who inspired that social construct - I would happily take a time machine back to throttle them! It’s not you, I don’t mean that, my mother has been dealing with some health issues that have caused hair loss and I want to kick something every time she says something like “it’s just hair, it’ll grow back, I’m doing well otherwise, what’s there to be so upset about”. Which is multiple times a day so - I’d better get myself a good steel-toed boot for all the kicking. I wish she felt… Allowed to feel how she feels, even to herself.

You’re so totally entitled to the party in your head. And all the perspectives in there are *valid* and you’re totally allowed to be sad and angry and sorry for yourself. But at the same time I’m GLAD you have some feel-goods at the mind party too!! Huge congratulations to your boy!! That’s such an accomplishment - the world will be his oyster with his CS degree You must be so proud!!

 

[Begonia]

I would love to learn when in the history of, like, women’s culture - it became normal for us to feel compelled to gaslight ourselves. If I could identify the one or two people who inspired that social construct - I would happily take a time machine back to throttle them! It’s not you, it’s not unique to you at all, my mother has been dealing with some health issues that have caused hair loss and I want to kick something every time she says something like “it’s just hair, it’ll grow back, I’m doing well otherwise, what’s there to be so upset about”. Which is multiple times a day so - I’d better get myself a good steel-toed boot for all the kicking.

You’re so totally entitled to the party in your head. And all the perspectives in there are *valid* and you’re totally allowed to be sad and angry and sorry for yourself. But at the same time I’m GLAD you have some feel-goods at the mind party too!! Huge congratulations to your boy!! That’s such an accomplishment - the world will be his oyster with his CS degree You must be so proud!!

Right??? Thanks for helping me see that all of my feelings are valid. So here goes... I'm so sad and angry and scared and frustrated. Are you f*cking kidding me right now Universe? I'm putting my boots on, and will join you on that time travel.

I am proud. He has such passion for this. Put that little fella on Frogger at 3 years of age and he was hooked. I'd read once greatness might not come thru what you do but who you raise. I'm most proud of his kind and gentle nature however.

 

[yssie]

Right??? Thanks for helping me see that all of my feelings are valid. So here goes... I'm so sad and angry and scared and frustrated. Are you f*cking kidding me right now Universe? I'm putting my boots on, and will join you on that time travel.

I am proud. He has such passion for this. Put that little fella on Frogger at 3 years of age and he was hooked. I'd read once greatness might not come thru what you do but who you raise. I'm most proud of his kind and gentle nature however.

I mean, he’s bloody lucky to have you as his mum. I may not have met you personally but I know you more than well enough to know that much

Boots, ahoy!!

 

[Ally T]

I'll try this rosemary oil, thank you for the recommendation! I've got an appt on Tuesday with a hairdresser to explore options. I'm sad to cut my hair off but watching it shed is too painful.
Wouldn't you know I look awful with bobs? To be honest, the longer lob wasn't really working for me, altho I had good hair days LOL. I think I also just liked having some longer hair after 25 years short. Kinda thinking about this... altho I hate that all these gals are models ya know?

I love this style! If my hair was straight, I would totally go for something like this. Classic, yet edgy & stylish. Hairdressers are definitely the people to speak to on how to change the appearance. Good luck & keep us posted.

 

[monarch64]

Hi @Begonia , I’m so sorry everything is difficult right now! Stress can definitely contribute to hair loss. My mother was a caretaker for my dad for almost 17 years during his cancers, and her hair loss began around the time he had his first diagnosis. She had a very hard time dealing with it as she had always had beautiful, dark, thick hair. Looking at pics of her from girlhood to her late 30s her hair was just amazing—think Priscilla Presley. She took a lot of pride in her hair even after she cut it short in her 40s. Seeing her process losing it was hard, yet seeing her start to have fun with wigs and hats was pretty cool.

She told me a story not too long ago of being at a bookstore and some lady insisted on asking her who cut her hair. She was wearing a wig, a really cute one, and she didn’t want to say that in public in front of strangers. Apparently this lady kept badgering her about it and was getting mad because she thought my mother was gatekeeping her hairdresser. (My mom had told her she cut it herself.) Finally, my mother just became exasperated and whisper-screamed “it’s a WIG, now leave me alone!” People are ridiculous and need to mind their business. My point in telling you about this incident is that there are wigs so realistic and so well-made that strangers will never be able to tell. If you decide to go the wig route I’m sure we can help you source some good ones.

Over the past several years I’ve seen a lot of women on social media talking about their hair extensions causing damage and loss. If you’re on any social platforms I’d search for wigs or women’s hair loss and see others’ hair journeys. It can be such a relief to know you’re not alone.

Big hugs regarding the hair loss and the bully. I’ve had bullies at work 3 times in my life. The first one, I consistently reported and she got transferred to a different location. The second one, I reported and she was terminated; I took over her position. The third one, others reported and nothing happened until I just quit one day after she screamed at me yet again. After that happened she was terminated. More recently, I ended a contract working with a company owner on the west coast because he loved to call me on Friday nights to scream at me about really insignificant things. I have no loyalty to anyone I’ve worked for or with; if someone is making my life and job more difficult in the workplace, either they’re outta there or I am, period. Cliché alert: life is too short to be miserable 40+ hours a week. Channel your upset into some good old-fashioned anger and either get rid of the bully or find other employment. You deserve better!

 

[jeaniefish]

Ok, y’all have me crying now. It is so amazing the way the PS community comes together for each other. Begonia, that short style is so cute. I’ll bet it would look wonderful on you . A shorter style always seems to make a head of hair appear thicker, and is less labor intensive. I am fort to have good hair but thought I noticed a thinning spot in front a few years ago. I tried over the counter minoxidil mouse. There were no side effects and I did notice a bit of improvement. Just adding my experience, FWIT.
You are being proactive and seeking your doctor’s help. Smart girl! Sending you another hug, if you have room for one more!

 

[empliau]

Begonia, I'm so sorry. It's not just hair, it's part of ourselves. It's always been there, it seems, when we look in the mirror, so its loss is really a loss. Please accept another hug from a stranger.

And perhaps the doctor, or treatments, can help.

 

[Begonia]

Hi @Begonia , I’m so sorry everything is difficult right now! Stress can definitely contribute to hair loss. My mother was a caretaker for my dad for almost 17 years during his cancers, and her hair loss began around the time he had his first diagnosis. She had a very hard time dealing with it as she had always had beautiful, dark, thick hair. Looking at pics of her from girlhood to her late 30s her hair was just amazing—think Priscilla Presley. She took a lot of pride in her hair even after she cut it short in her 40s. Seeing her process losing it was hard, yet seeing her start to have fun with wigs and hats was pretty cool.

She told me a story not too long ago of being at a bookstore and some lady insisted on asking her who cut her hair. She was wearing a wig, a really cute one, and she didn’t want to say that in public in front of strangers. Apparently this lady kept badgering her about it and was getting mad because she thought my mother was gatekeeping her hairdresser. (My mom had told her she cut it herself.) Finally, my mother just became exasperated and whisper-screamed “it’s a WIG, now leave me alone!” People are ridiculous and need to mind their business. My point in telling you about this incident is that there are wigs so realistic and so well-made that strangers will never be able to tell. If you decide to go the wig route I’m sure we can help you source some good ones.

Over the past several years I’ve seen a lot of women on social media talking about their hair extensions causing damage and loss. If you’re on any social platforms I’d search for wigs or women’s hair loss and see others’ hair journeys. It can be such a relief to know you’re not alone.

Big hugs regarding the hair loss and the bully. I’ve had bullies at work 3 times in my life. The first one, I consistently reported and she got transferred to a different location. The second one, I reported and she was terminated; I took over her position. The third one, others reported and nothing happened until I just quit one day after she screamed at me yet again. After that happened she was terminated. More recently, I ended a contract working with a company owner on the west coast because he loved to call me on Friday nights to scream at me about really insignificant things. I have no loyalty to anyone I’ve worked for or with; if someone is making my life and job more difficult in the workplace, either they’re outta there or I am, period. Cliché alert: life is too short to be miserable 40+ hours a week. Channel your upset into some good old-fashioned anger and either get rid of the bully or find other employment. You deserve better!

Such good advice from you always! Thank you. We'll see where this hair journey goes... I like the story about your mom. She sounds like an amazing lady in so many ways.

Right?? In good company with this hair loss crap. My phone has been listening to me (as they do) and is sending me info. It's hard to know what to pay attention to, so hearing testimony like this helps a lot!

Bloody bullies. This is the third time for me too, over many years. The company I work for pays poorly and is in chaos so they seem to be accepting some dodgy folks, or not checking references properly, altho I'm not sure bullying history is available to new employers. Not sure of the intricacies of that. Women targeting women.

I've recently gone down to 3/4 time in the hopes of a better home/ work balance. Early days yet tho. This much I know, my body is telling me something

 

[Begonia]

Ok, y’all have me crying now. It is so amazing the way the PS community comes together for each other. Begonia, that short style is so cute. I’ll bet it would look wonderful on you . A shorter style always seems to make a head of hair appear thicker, and is less labor intensive. I am fort to have good hair but thought I noticed a thinning spot in front a few years ago. I tried over the counter minoxidil mouse. There were no side effects and I did notice a bit of improvement. Just adding my experience, FWIT.
You are being proactive and seeking your doctor’s help. Smart girl! Sending you another hug, if you have room for one more!

A l w a y s room for another hug. Yes please. It's been so helpful, people chiming in and being supportive. Teary again. Love you all.

Thank you for the advice. I've ordered Rogaine as a knee-jerk reaction and am realizing some more reading and research is needed. I'll absolutely check out minoxidil. Absolutely.