groom''s female attendant...

[doodle]

i''ve been friends with this girl for well over a decade, but my FI, while having known her for a much shorter duration of time, is super-close to her, so he has asked her to stand up on his side rather than me having an uneven number of bridesmaids. i''m a little confused about some of the logistics of that--what title do we give her in the programs (she, my FI, and i have jokingly dubbed her a variety of titles, including but not limited to the groom''s b!tch, groomhilda, and the girly groomsman)? do i invite her to any bridesmaids stuff as if she were a bridesmaid? because i know she''s not going to want to do all the guy stuff with them (cracks up at the thought of H running a touchdown in stilettos). the bridesmaids are wearing cornflower dresses and the groomsmen black suits. i was thinking it''d look better if she wore black since she''ll be standing on the side with the guys, but someone told me she should wear whatever the bridesmaids are wearing because i can''t pretend she''s not a girl just because she''s on my FI''s side.

anyone else done this or seen this? how was it done? thanks muchly!

 

[musey]

You can do whatever you want!! Really. You could just list everyone under "Groom''s Attendants" and "Bride''s Attendants" headings, or you could call her a "Groomswoman" or whatever you think sounds best!

She could either wear a matching dress to the bridesmaids, or a matching fabric but different design to set her apart, or a really cool tux-inspired gown (I''ve seen some HOT ones), color-matched gown to the groomsmen.

As for putting her in black being like "pretending she''s not a girl", um...?? Okay, if you put her in a TUX maybe that would be like pretending she''s one of the guys, but I personally don''t find black dresses to be any more masculine than cornflower blue ones.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I would have her wear either a black dress or one that matches the color of the guys ties/vests/shirts. My MOH is a guy, and although he offered to wear a BM dress (he is a drag performer), he will be wearing a suit with a vest that matches the BM dresses.

I would invite her to do girl things, there is no reason not to include her if she would enjoy them

 

[Courtneylub]

My uncle had my cousin (daughter from a different sibling) stand as his best man. She wore a tux and everything. It was pretty cute.

I think having her wear a black dress and stand on his side would be good.

 

[laine]

I've seen girls on the guys side wear the same dress as the bridesmaids, but in black, and I like that idea. The same color as the bridesmaids would work as well, but I'd probably vote against a tux unless she's really tomboyish and would wear it anyway.

 

[musey]

Date: 5/29/2008 2:46:31 PM
Author: brazen_irish_hussy
My MOH is a guy, and although he offered to wear a BM dress (he is a drag performer), he will be wearing a suit with a vest that matches the BM dresses.

Oh my goodness, that would be so much fun!! You should get him a BM dress and have him do a number at the reception. It would be such a fun and memorable thing to include!

 

[Octavia]

There are two "groomsgals" in my friend''s wedding, and I don''t think that anyone finds it odd (or if they do, they know better than to mention it). It''s not strictly traditional, but it''s becoming more and more common. They''re wearing the same thing as the bridesmaids, but it''s black dresses for all girls and tuxes for the other groomsmen. I think either black or blue would look fine on your groomsgal, although I''d personally lean toward black. And if you''re friends with her too, why not ask her to participate in your other events? Whatever makes everyone comfortable...there isn''t a way it HAS to be done other than the way you all want it!

 

[doodle]

thanks for all the feedback, guys!! i feel much better now.

i just wanted to make sure the way i was thinking of doing things (which was in agreement with you guys) wouldn''t make her feel singled out or anything. i''d hate to have such a close friend to both of us feeling uncomfortable!

musey: i didn''t understand the person''s logic on that one either, but i figured maybe someone knew something i didn''t, haha.

brazen: i''m with musey--how much fun! we''re having a not-so-traditional wedding ourselves, particularly with the group of people on the guest list. my dad''s going to have a cow with all the tattoo artists and piercers and whatnot, haha. would he feel awkward performing at a wedding, or is that just a little too out there for you?

 

[swimmer]

Hi Doodle, we had my SIL as Best Woman. But for the tea length program we put:

Attendants
my sister''s name
sil''s name

friend 1 alphabetically
etc...

So with the space empty we sort of indicated who the important (MOH and B(W)) folks were. My sister was NOT interested in being a "Matron" either, so something needed to be done. But we totally called her "best woman" all weekend and beyond.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

I am debating on having my brother as one of my attendants.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I love the idea of a tuxedo inspired dress! I''ve seen some great ones at BCBG before, but I didn''t see them on their website just now.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Date: 6/2/2008 11:46:18 AM
Author: doodle
thanks for all the feedback, guys!! i feel much better now.

i just wanted to make sure the way i was thinking of doing things (which was in agreement with you guys) wouldn''t make her feel singled out or anything. i''d hate to have such a close friend to both of us feeling uncomfortable!

musey: i didn''t understand the person''s logic on that one either, but i figured maybe someone knew something i didn''t, haha.

brazen: i''m with musey--how much fun! we''re having a not-so-traditional wedding ourselves, particularly with the group of people on the guest list. my dad''s going to have a cow with all the tattoo artists and piercers and whatnot, haha. would he feel awkward performing at a wedding, or is that just a little too out there for you?

I would love to scare some of my FI''s family,

it is just a ligistical issue. He is a Madonna impersonator, the most popular in the city, but we are having a classical guitarist and no DJ, so it wouldn''t work, but it was considered. It''s too bad though, he is organaizing the official Madonna party for our city to celebrate her 50th the month before, so he wouldn''t even need a new act.

 

[robbie3982]

I was a groomsmaid (that''s what we decided to call me and the other girl on the groom''s side) in a friend''s wedding a few years ago. Each girl wore a different color, but I think it would look fine if you put her in the same color as the bridesmaids or in black.

I''d definitely invite her to do the girly stuff. I helped plan the bridal shower and I went to the bachelorette and bachelor parties when I was one.

 

[Elmorton]

I would definitely invite her to the girly stuff too (shower, bachelorette - one of DH''s groomsmen was my best friend, so he attended both of our parties), but let her hang out with the guys pre-wedding (although...if you do hair appts/makeup, she might want to get in on that?). I like the idea of a simple black dress. You could always do a black dress with a blue sash (you know, like the tie?). Or, she might prefer to wear the bridesmaid dress so she looks uniform with the bridal party as a whole and not wearing her own special costume. I''d just ask her what she would prefer to do (because I think I''d probably prefer to wear what the other girls are wearing, but depending on her style she might want to wear black with the groomsmen).

Or...who cares if there is one more bridesmaid than groomsman? The last wedding I attended had an extra groomsman and it really didn''t look strange at all. The last two guys escorted the remaining bridesmaid at the end of the ceremony and that was the only time (a total of 20 seconds) where it was obvious that the count wasn''t even.

 

[Fancy605]

My BIL had a female attendant. Rather than listing them as Bridesmaids and Groomsmen, they were all just listed as bride''s attendants and groom''s attendants. She wore a black dress that matched the black tuxes with a sash that matched both the GM''s ties and the material of the BM dresses. The BMs all wore different styles of dresses in a burnt orange color.