Greenback shower?

[Keepingthefaith21]

I was invited to a bridal shower which was described on the invite as "Greenback" (i.e. the couple does not want gifts, they only want money).

It seems tacky to me and I am so turned off by this I have declined the attend the shower.

I want to know how common of a practice this really is. Have any of you ladies had a shower where you did not register and told your guests directly on the invitation "cash only" gifts?

I realize some people are going to say "you''d spend money on a gift so what is the difference?" but for someone who''s a little old fashioned like myself, I truly enjoy buying a gift for friends off a registry for a shower and then giving cash for the wedding. I would never ever send out a birthday party invitation and say "cash only" so I feel it is wildly inappropriate to get one for a bridal shower. I feel like this wedding is nothing more than a cash cow to the couple.

Am I the only person who feels that this sort of shower is tacky?

 

[tberube]

My maid of honor asked me if I wanted a greenback bridal shower. My answer to that was "what? why? no!" Verbatim. As much as I need cash, yes it is very tacky, IMO. It''s bad enough that I have to be presumptuous and assume my guests will even buy me gifts, by having a registry.

 

[Independent Gal]

Never heard of it. I agree it sounds tacky!

 

[monarch64]

Sorry....but, ick! Never, ever have I been invited to a cash only shower. I just did receive a very impasse email from a former friend (she''s done things like this before which has led me to distance myself from her) regarding her baby shower coming up in June...she and her hubby have put together a "baby pool" in which each guest is to put at least $5 wager towards guessing the sex, weight, length, date of birth, etc. Half the pot will go to the winner, half the pot will supposedly go into a savings account for the baby. Yuck. I HATE being blatantly asked to give money in lieu of a gift. Just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, so to speak.

 

[laine]

Yikes, thats bad! My mom was invited to a gift card shower--almost as bad as cash IMO. She and her friends agreed they didn''t like the idea of the bride knowing exactly what they spent and felt obligated to spend more. With gifts, they utilized sales and coupons to get more gift for the money.

Yeah. Tacky. If you don''t want gifts, you don''t have a shower!

 

[pavelover]

We recently received a wedding invitation that said on it "WE are registered at x and y. Monetary gifts are preferred." I had never seen this before and thought that this was tacky and kind of rude.

 

[Maisie]

I think it would be a little embarrassing for me if I didn''t have a lot of money. They would know how little I had given them. I would rather get them a meaningful gift that I had put time and effort into finding.

 

[Missrocks]

Have I ever been invited to one?- No. Would I go?- No. I agree extremely that this is extremely tacky.

 

[Cleopatra]

I was invited to a shower recently which stated on the invites to bring gift cards instead of an actual gift - even though they have a registry set up....I thought it was extremely tacky - it''s pretty much asking for money to buy your own gift - so as not trusting that your guest would get you something you would want....am i not being rational about this?

 

[musey]

I''ve never heard of it, but I gotta say... EW.

 

[sumbride]

Never heard of it! Good for you for declining!

I''m curious as to how this would work though... At every shower I''ve been to, including my own, the main part was opening the gifts in front of everyone so they could see what you got. how would that go with this? "So and So gave me ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! And SO and So gave me Twenty." Yeah, not cool. When I did get a couple of gift cards at my shower, I said "Oh, a gift card to ___." I didn''t mention how much it was for.

 

[Gypsy]

The fact that there is a made up cutesy name "Greenback Shower" does not make this any more appealing. Ick.

 

[mimzy]

i've never heard of anything even like it.....can't be all that popular!


maybe they way overextended themselves on the wedding and are really strapped for cash

 

[gtn]

I have never been to a greenback shower, but i think it is tacky and rude to dictate what type of gift one gives. It''s one thing to ask for no gifts and another to say, I want you money. Might as well call it a fundraiser for a for-profit cause because that is what it is.

I went to a shower this weekend where the couple rented a car to tote the gifts back to where the live rather than dictate what type of gifts.

Of course I have been to the childrens party where the parents say no gifts, but if we feel compelled to buy something, please buy a book or something educational, but that is totally different animal.

 

[scm1012]

I would never, ever, ever attend something like this.

I don''t necessarily mind if someone adds in one of those little "So and so is registered at" for a baby or bridal shower, I personally wouldn''t do that. But to be so bold as to ask for cash or insinuate what type of gift would be preferred is so beyond tacky.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 3/4/2008 1:15:49 PM
Author: gtn
I have never been to a greenback shower, but i think it is tacky and rude to dictate what type of gift one gives. It''s one thing to ask for no gifts and another to say, I want you money. Might as well call it a fundraiser for a for-profit cause because that is what it is.

I went to a shower this weekend where the couple rented a car to tote the gifts back to where the live rather than dictate what type of gifts.

Of course I have been to the childrens party where the parents say no gifts, but if we feel compelled to buy something, please buy a book or something educational, but that is totally different animal.

ROLMAO at the image of a beautiful shower invitation with lovely script and across the top:

You are cordially invited to our For-Profit Shower

 

[bee*]

I wouldn''t go to this either if that''s what it says on the invite. Tacky!

 

[LegacyGirl]

I just went to a baby shower where the mother had registered at BabiesRUs but at the top of the registry it said something like "Gift cards are always welcomed" at least she tried to be a little tasteful about it...

 

[Courtneylub]

We put this on our honeymoon registry site:

"Fortunately, we have all of the toasters and European cheese graters anyone could ever need. Besides, everyone knows that the best cheese comes in a can. For that reason, we are asking those that would like to send a gift to make it the type that can go towards our honeymoon. Thanks, we love you!"

I would never come out and ask for money. I agree the invitation is tacky. If someone asks, our friends can mention our registry site or that we''d like gifts for honeymoon; ie: flip flops, hats, etc.

 

[Mara]

we actually have some good friends getting married this year and she totally has a similar dilemma. they already have their 'stuff' and they are trying to buy a house. she is like..i really just want $$ to put towards our house DP. no better gift could be given at this point. but there's really no great way to SAY that. so they are doing BBB registry because you can return stuff for cash i guess? of course guests don't know that...but i think that's what she is planning.

my cousins wedding 2 years ago was just a 'give towards the honeymoon please' kind of thing, and we knew they didn't have a lot of money. we gave them a big check and were happy that it helped get them to their big vacation for the year, their honeymoon. they were so happy.

i wouldn't decline a shower for a good friend or family member or a wedding just because they wanted $$ instead of a gift...it's their party and if i love them then i should respect their wishes. then again i am the type of person who would rather get absolutely nothing at all but a hug and a congrats...and be happy about it, than have someone give us their idea of a wonderful gift that we don't want or can't use. i know it's not the NORM and that most people still consider it tacky to ask for $$ or a honeymoon or something rather than a gift, but i figure to each their own!

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Thank you all for weighing in on this topic. I am glad I am not alone in feeling that this is a very odd request.

Mara – If the shower was being thrown for someone I considered a very good friend and most especially a person I loved, I would absolutely attend. However, this is not the case and due to the fact that my SO’s niece is making her First Communion on the date of the shower, I can not justify choosing the shower over the sacrament especially for an individual who I feel is focused only on the money she will be “making” and not at all on the vows she will be taking. I am not going to get into explicit details. Suffice it to say my reaction to the invite and subsequent disdain is most certainly linked to the type of person she is and specific behavior she has exhibited over the past several months.

I guess for me this invite was tacky and rubbed me the wrong way because I’ve never seen two people seem so indifferent about their wedding and talk only about how much money they are going to “make”. Even though I own a home with my SO and, by the time we are actually married will probably own every gadget and gizmo under the sun, I will still register for essential items such a towels, linens and other incidentals so that guests will not feel embarrassed or obligated to spend more than they can afford. If I find I do not need anything, there is no need for a shower at all and a girls luncheon could be planned instead.

I am a firm believer that a gift is an individual choice. Sadly, although I too am a person who would consider it a gift just for people to attend my wedding and have a good time, I know this Bridezilla is not. I feel that regardless of the amount I am able to give, it is not going to be enough or good enough despite the fact that the very bills they are banking on their wedding “profits” to help to pay for (mortgage, car loan, etc.) are the very same bills my SO and I are also working hard at paying for ourselves. I just feel like it puts people in a compromising position and shows very little class and consideration towards guests who may not have a hefty bankroll to draw upon.

 

[aliciagirl]

Ick! My family recently received an invitation to a shower that said "Cocktails will be served at 6 pm. If you do not wish to participate in cocktail hour, the family will receive gifts from 3-6 pm. We are registered at X. Bring a gift for the bedroom."

The bedroom part was written in pen and obviously different for each guest. How tacky is that!? I couldn''t believe it. It was for a very up-scale wedding and it totally blew me away. I''d rather someone say "We prefer cash" than "If you come, you will bring a gift for this room."

 

[Octavia]

A couple weeks ago, FI and I were out and about and ran into a guy he casually knows from working together on a couple occasions. The guy introduced his FI to us, and my FI introduced me to them, and we chatted for a few minutes. They're getting married pretty soon. Well, a few days later a wedding invitation shows up addressed only to my FI, and before he could even get the invitation out of the envelope, a scrap of unevenly cut paper fell out. Yep, it was a "request" that we make their honeymoon as special as possible by donating to their registry. It was seriously appalling, and highlighted exactly what the invitation was -- a way of trolling for money. FI was hopping mad. I just can't believe that these people were clueless/rude enough to think we wouldn't realize this...or blatantly didn't care if we did realize. Ugh.

 

[zoebartlett]

I''ve never heard of this type of shower.

 

[SanchezVVV]

I wouldn't do it myself. But I may be the odd one out who thinks it is fine. If it wasn't perceived as such a wedding don't - I think plenty of us would prefer the cash. I kinda admire these people's b*lls.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Is she from another culture by any chance? Thinks like that are common in Chinese, Greek and some Italian groups. It is considered the height of rudeness to actually get a gift for a Cyprus couple because it is seen as saying "we don''t trust you with the money, so we spent it for you".

If not, I understand where she is coming from about wanting money over gifts because I certainly do, but to say you ONLY want cash and to put it on the invite is very tacky.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

I had a cousin who did this; she was moving out of country and stated that "only cash would do" on the invitations. As a result, she got far fewer guests than were expected and well over a year and a half later, people are still talking about it in the family.... It didn''t go over well.

 

[iheartscience]

Wow, that is tacky beyond belief. Good for you for declining!

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 3/4/2008 8:40:40 PM
Author: thing2of2
Wow, that is tacky beyond belief. Good for you for declining!

Word! Totally tacky. Asking for money for anything be it house-related, honeymoon-related or whatever is just tacky IMO. I would also have declined the invite.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 3/4/2008 3:00:13 PM
Author: Courtneylub
We put this on our honeymoon registry site:

'Fortunately, we have all of the toasters and European cheese graters anyone could ever need. Besides, everyone knows that the best cheese comes in a can. For that reason, we are asking those that would like to send a gift to make it the type that can go towards our honeymoon. Thanks, we love you!'

I would never come out and ask for money. I agree the invitation is tacky. If someone asks, our friends can mention our registry site or that we'd like gifts for honeymoon; ie: flip flops, hats, etc.

If I read this, I would think it was a request for money. If no one were to ask what it meant, I wouldn't know what other way to interpret it