Grandma''s Diamond vs. Dream Ring- Help!

[Dani511]

This is where I meant to put this! I put it in LIW with minimal reply, and then by accident in SMTR- hopefully this is where I will get some good advice!
The one in LIW had a disclaimer/appology attached to it, so if anyone had been offended by an old post of mine, you can read it there! I meant no harm at all!

Hello all!

My BF (or maybe I shouldn''t be afraid to say FF) and I are more serious than ever about getting engaged (Thank God! and Knock on wood! I hate to even write that for fear of a jinx! LOL). Origionally, we were going to use the diamond that my paternal grandfather gave my grandmother when they were engaged in 1948. Here is all I know about that diamond: it is round, it is not a modern cut, nor is it a typical old mine cut or old european cut. It looks more like a modern round brilliant. It has a ton of sparkle and brilliance. It is about 1.00-1.10 carats, approx. G color, about a VVS1 or 2, and probably at least an excellent cut. Jewelers have been impressed, going as far as to say it is one of the nicest older cuts they have seen, and certainly one of the whitest. I was very happy about that.

Here is the thing, though. Neither I nor my BF (or FF, LOL) have ever really liked a round shape. It would never be our first choice. We both love Marquise diamonds, and I love the way they look on finger. On top of that, I like big jewelry and big rings, and would really love to have over a carat.

I just never thought I could have one, so I didn''t think much of it.

Then, we saw a gorgeous (or we thought so, anyway) 1.62 carat (looks more like 2 carats) center marquise diamond, H, VS2, GIA cert with two .35 side pears ( H, SI1). I was able to see it in natural sunlight and it has a lot of sparkel and minimal bowtie affect. It has a white gold head and yellow gold (18k) band, catherdral setting ( yellow is not my first choice, but it looks great b/c the diamonds are all that you really see anyhow, and I could always have it changed to white at a later time). I usually love a white gold or platnium setting with a halo, pave diamonds, and filligree work, etc. (esp. to dress up the one carat I have), and this plain setting is not characteristic of that, but there is something about it that I can''t shake...it is very ME! It is beautiful, we both LOVE it. It is sitting in the show case at a local B&M, untouched and unwanted for many months. The guy wants $12,500 for it.

We would like to argue that it is not a popular cut right now, it has been sitting around for a while, the economy is in bad shape so it''s not like everyone is just spending that sort of money freely right now, and we want to offer $9000 for it. He (BF) would be so mad at me for saying, but I want to chip in for it to help out, otherwise I would have to wait much longer for it. I have no problem doing this, since it will "all come out in the wash" so to speak in the end, anyhow.

So my questions are: Should I forget about my dream ring and just re-set my grandmother''s diamond? (it would be quite sentimental and save a lot of money for right now, but it is not our first choice. If we don''t use it, I would wear it as a RHR) Is this guy asking a fair price for the marquise? Is it reasonable of us to ask $9000 for it? What do you ladies (or gentlemen) think? I appreciate the advice in advance!

 

[neatfreak]

I just replied before, but Admin will likely remove the old thread so:

If you can afford it, you should get what makes you happy. And afford means pay in cash in my world. Otherwise, a 1 carat RB is nothing to sneeze at and you can get your dream ring later in life when you *can* afford it.

And certainly bargain with the guy. Marquise aren't the most popular right now, so you have that going for you. Also price some similar stones online, I bet you can find stuff a lot cheaper and use that as a base for negotiation.

 

[Dani511]

Thanks neatfreak!

Yes, I agree about the cash- we will be paying in cash, 9k is about the top of our combined budget. The ring, I have a feeling, isn''t going anywhere anytime soon, no one is jumping at marquise diamonds. So We are going to try to get the best price possible. I am pretty sure we are going to see what we can do about getting a marquise or this marquise without going over budget, and if not, my grandmother''s diamond is very nice as well!

Thank you for the advice!

 

[erica k]

i found a 1.72 G VS2 marquise on GOG''s site for $12,988, so asking $9,000 for a 1.62 H VS2 plus side stones and a gold setting seems a bit on the low side. then again, marquises aren''t very popular, so it wouldn''t hurt to ask. if you''re going to bargain, you might as well start low!

good luck with your decision!

 

[Dani511]

Thanks Erica K

I looked up some marquises on ERD and saw some 1.5-ish ones for 5-7k, and some 1.7-1.8''s for less than 9k. So I guess it depends on the quality. I have to look at the cert. I am going to bargin as much as possible!! LOL!

 

[surfgirl]

Your grandmother''s ring sounds like a Transitional Cut, which I have. They can be really gorgeous stones but they''re not to everyone''s liking. I suppose if you dont love that stone, you shouldn''t use it for your ering. Though if it''s the size & finger coverage that you really are looking for, you could always add side stones to your family stone to get a bigger look...Like side sapphires or something like that. But if you dont really love that stone, then get what you really love. But whatever you do, please dont ever let anyone talk you into re-cutting your family stone. It''s probably lovely!

 

[Imdanny]

It sounds like you have your mind made up and are not really looking for advice?

 

[Dani511]

Surfgirl: Thanks for the reply! It may be a transitional cut diamond, yes. I don''t know for sure, b/c I will not allow anyone to take the diamond out of the setting until or unless I am going to reset it. I would never recut it!! It is actually a gorgeous stone- it sparkles like crazy! It is not that I don''t love it- I love it because it was the ring my grandfather gave to my grandmother, I love it beacuse it is a beautiful little sparkler- but it is not the size or shape that I am looking for. I have never been a round diamond person. Even more so than that, it is much smaller than I want. Untill another diamond suddenly became an option, this was the diamond we were using, and then yes, I was going to put in the largest, most elaborate setting possible to make it seem big on my finger. This still may have t be an option if we can;t afford another diamond. So, I still love it, I am just unsure about what I am going to do, and about the other questions I had asked in regard to the marquise.

Imdanny: No, I have not made up my mind for sure- the budget will do that for us in the end. I am still looking for answers to the questions I posted. I would like to know opinions on using her stone vs. buying a new one- some may think it is silly to spend a lot of money when I have a center stone already, some may say go for it- and I would like to hear everyone''s thoughts on it. Also, I though maybe some people would offer some thoughts in regard to the price of the ring I had described and what I wold like to offer them- is it reasonable, etc.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I''d go for the one you love and have your grandmother''s stone set as a pendant or RHR. Because marquise are not in demand now, I think you have a good chance of getting something off the price. I think $9000 is a fair beginning offer. Is this a new ring or an estate piece? If it is not new, you should get a better price. I also see nothing wrong with asking for the setting to be changed to white gold as part of the deal.

 

[Kaleigh]

If you want a marquise and can afford it, then go for it. 9k is a good offer, they don't move too quickly, see what the guy says. The transitional cut would be lovely for a RHR or a pendant. Good luck and let us know how the bargaining goes. I think it's a reasonable offer....

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Honestly, I would stick with your grandmother''s ring for two main reasons:

Not only does it have tremendous sentimental value and something you will associate with your family''s tradition, but round brilliants are timeless and will always look great on your finger. Marquise diamonds are not as sparkly, and personally, not my favorite.

In addition, seems a waste to me to spend 9 thousand dollars when it sounds like you have an amazing stone at your disposal which in today''s market will probably cost 5-6 thousand... I would spend more money on getting a custom beautiful setting such as one made by Leon Merge and use the diamond you have...

Just my opinion though!

 

[marcy]

Here is my advice based on what I would do. If you can afford the ring of your dreams, that is what I would get and have your grandmother''s diamond made in to a solitaire pendant. I am sure you''d enjoy wearing it. If you can''t afford the ring and diamond of your dreams; get the ring of your dreams and use you grandmother''s diamond in it until you can afford the diamond of your dreams.

 

[Miranda]

I think you should get what you love. That said, please please please love your grandmother''s ring LOL! Haha - It sounds like a gorgeous stone. With a halo or sidestones it could appear much larger. Ok, ok, if you love the marquise get it for an ering, but, at least wear your grandmother''s ring as a RHR!

 

[2danes]

I think that you should get what you LOVE-- IF you can REALLY afford it.
I was so excited to get engaged... I mean I just couldn''t wait...
So when my DH proposed he got the most beautiful .92 RB that he could afford.
I love that stone, but don''t think I don''t look at it every once in a while and wish that we''d waited
and gotten a larger stone (the stone of my dreams...)

Now, that being said... there''s a lot to be said for NOT going into debt. We''ll upgrade down the road... and you could too,
but there might always be that twinge of regret...

 

[2Artists]

I would say to follow your heart and the realities of your pocketbook. Only you know deep down if your Grandmothers diamond would be something that you would enjoy wearing for an ering or not. I think that it sounds really special to wear a ring with a special family history to it. A unique history that is really meaningful can really make an item magical. Think of all the memories that stone has lived through. You could get an amazing setting for it and enjoy the security of saving a great deal of money. I tried to see if you had posted any pics of your Grandmothers stone but couldn''t find any. But old stones can have a really special quality to them. You could do a halo with a split shank (a split shank can kinda give you the same shape as marquise but the reverse direction on your finger). If you decide to go for the other then bargain your guts out and best luck.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I think that you should have the ring that would make you the happiest. If money is not an issue, then go for the marquise if that is what you love.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 5/12/2008 7:33:21 PM
Author: Imdanny
It sounds like you have your mind made up and are not really looking for advice?

I don''t really see it this way - I think dani has some valid questions, and is getting some good advice

dani, as I am a fan of RB''s and also transitional cuts, that would be my personal choice - but seeing as its you, not me,

I think it sounds as if you really have your heart set on the marquise. I have heard that they give great coverage, so good idea if bigger is what you''re after. The only thing is i would ensure is to check out the cert of this ring and the store''s warranty/ return policies.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[diamondfan]

Not sure if 9000.00 is fair but I would offer it. Be willing to walk away. Marquises are not in huge demand currently and if you have seen it there for months, he likely knows that a good offer is worth considering. Maybe let him know you have this other ring, all ready to go, so you must get a good price to justify it. You can express liking it but do not gush...maybe act like you have to convince your boyfriend as he would prefer you use the family stone instead...I mean, I would play some subtle hardball if that makes sense!

I would keep the other stone and do a gorgeous pendant or RHR ring, maybe with a sapphire halo or ruby halo, just to make it different? Sounds like it is a gorgeous stone. Great that you have options. At best I say, get what you love if you can afford to do so, at worst, you have a great ring to use, even if it is not your first choice.

 

[Circe]

This is a great choice to have! Me, I''d go with the family stone, because I like tradition and ascribe talismanic properties to stuff. Someone - maybe in the pear thread? - once observed that the popularity of the round flanked by pears could probably be attributed to the fact that it was really the best of both worlds: the finger coverage of a marquis with the sparkle of a round. Might that be something you''d be interested in, a la Kaleigh''s beautiful ring?

 

[2Artists]

I agree with Circe-that would give a marquise coverage feel to it and similar shape feel to it also.

 

[Imdanny]

Dani, this might be a stoopid answer then but I''d have to see pictures of both of them. Particularly the older stone- no two older stones seem to look alike. But if it were me I''d choose the one that was most beautiful/ I wanted more.

BTW, I think marquis is a very interesting and elegant cut.

What a nice dilemma to have.

 

[squee]

Posted in LIW, but here you go again anyway!

Hi Dani!

I agree with some of the others in that marquise is not my favorite shape, but if it's one that you like, then you should go with what YOU like. Regarding that specific ring though, $9k does seem like a lot, especially for a stone that's not very high in demand. I think you could do better. Why not shop around online, like GOG, Whiteflash, ERD, James Allen, etc. to see if you can find a better deal on a loose marquise stone, and then get a setting that you love, instead of having to "switch it to white gold" as you would with that pre-existing ring. Just a thought.

Another idea would be to maybe take your grandmother's stone and possibly use it as a center stone for a 3 stone ring (maybe with pear side stones?). Maybe something like this from Whiteflash. This way, you can save money by not having to purchase a center stone, but you can still have good finger coverage, and customize the ring to your tastes.

Just my suggestion.

 

[squee]

Something like this might be lovely as well, with the marquise side stones!

 

[Sharon101]

I also think you could offer even less than $9000. Try to work backwards from the prices listed here as a reference. The diamond you have now might face up smaller than 1 carat which makes it appear smaller, even though it sounds lovely.

I personally wouldnt spend the $ on a 1.6 ish carat now (however you say it looks like a 2c????). I would use the free one and down the track, 5 to 10 years, get a 2 plus carat diamond . For now I would get a blingy wedding ring and er setting and use the free diamond. Im not sure if the bigger one sounds that much better to be worth outlaying so much now!! You also have to factor in that you have less chance of an upgrade by buying now.

But, if it makes your heart sing, and you dont think the song will get old, then by all means go for it!!!!

 

[Skippy123]

Do you happen to have a picture of your grandmother''s stone?


I think you should get what makes your heart sing; you will be wearing it everyday.

 

[Dani511]

Hello everyone!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for your wonderful and helpful responses!!! There are to many to reply personally too, but please know that I read, appreciate , and considered each answer and advice you had all given! You girls and guys are great!!

Thank you for all of your kind words as well!!

You all have valid points. I know the marquise isn''t a popular shape, and even one that many dislike. I just happen to really love how it looks on my finger when it has the right proportions ( I like a fatter rather than skinny one). Also, I know that RB''s or round shapes are classic, but I have never been a fan of a circular diamond shape. However, I do absolutely love my grandmother''s diamond, it just really isn''t exactly what I want in an engagement ring. Despite the beauty in its appearance and history, I really want a different shape ad a much larger stone. I am a huge fan of tradition ( despite the fact that I love very un-traditional marquise stones) and value family ( I have a beautiful, large, close knit Italian-American family), so it would be nice to have the heirloom diamond...but I think I will always have this "what if..." in the back of my mind if I go with it. I know I can always upgrade.

I am not ruling out the round, nor an I ruling out the marquise. I am going to try to bargain, thank you all for your advice on that as well! I am still pondering everything over and I am starting to feel a little confused and conflicted. Although, I know it is a nice dilema to have, as some of you have siad, and I am greatful that this is happening now for me!


So, keep the advice coming, please!!

It is wonderful to hear your opinions! Thank you for the setting suggestions as well for the round- if I do go with it, I would like to put a halo around it to make it appear larger, or certainly flank it with side stones. I like the side pear idea!

I am going to certainly try to get some pictures up of both rings- I think that will help as well!!

 

[kkayser]

A lot depends on your financial situation. Are you both essentially debt free with good jobs? Can you pay cash? If so, go for the marquise. But wait. How long will it take you to replace the $9000 in savings? Remember, it will be that much longer for you to acquire the down payment on your own home, or that much longer before you can remodel the kitchen.

With your grandmother''s diamond, you can have a beautiful engagement ring and save $9000. At least try wearing the round stone. You can always replace it with a marquise later.

If you do go for the marquise now, don''t pay any more than the stone would cost on the net. Don''t be afraid to bargain hard. If the jeweler accepts your first offer, you offered too much. If the ring has been in inventory long, the dealer may have less in it than current prices. If he needs cash, he may be willing to let it go for cost.

 

[Sharon101]

Date: 5/14/2008 12:36:50 PM
Author: kkayser
A lot depends on your financial situation. Are you both essentially debt free with good jobs? Can you pay cash? If so, go for the marquise. But wait. How long will it take you to replace the $9000 in savings? Remember, it will be that much longer for you to acquire the down payment on your own home, or that much longer before you can remodel the kitchen.

With your grandmother''s diamond, you can have a beautiful engagement ring and save $9000. At least try wearing the round stone. You can always replace it with a marquise later.

If you do go for the marquise now, don''t pay any more than the stone would cost on the net. Don''t be afraid to bargain hard. If the jeweler accepts your first offer, you offered too much. If the ring has been in inventory long, the dealer may have less in it than current prices. If he needs cash, he may be willing to let it go for cost.

This is what I would have said if I was better with words!!!!

And finally, just want to add that ultimately there is no wrong or right answer. You should go with your heart because you know what your happiness is worth. We all waste money on so many things in a life, so there is really no high road regarding spending on a diamond, even when you can get a free one. It will just mean you end up with two!!!! My upgrade also means I have a perfectly good stone not being used. Sometimes thats life.

Obviously what you choose will have a lot to do with your financial situation and your strength of desire for the larger Marquise!!!!

And the shape you like does have its own appeal especially in the fatter version.

 

[motownmama]

Obviously a personal decision. The marquise is prob not going anywhere soon - why not explore a custom setting for the RB via Whiteflash or GOG? - tell them you love marquise and could they be east west side stones etc - Just exploring options doesn''t hurt and you might be surprised to see something develop that you really like.