shape
carat
color
clarity
  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. PriceScope Upgrade Completed
    For issues, questions and comments click the link below
    https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/pricescope-upgraded-comments-and-issues.229551/

    Dismiss Notice

Going back to school--One step forward or one step back?

Discussion in 'Family, Home & Health' started by NewEnglandLady, May 28, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. NewEnglandLady
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    6,287
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    by NewEnglandLady » May 28, 2008
    I feel like I've been posting a lot of "I need advice" threads, but you ladies (and gentlemen!) are so wise and supportive, I really value your opinions. PS is such a great place!

    So this is the issue: DH is about 90% sure he wants to quit his job and go back to school this fall.

    For the record, I am 150% supportive of whatever he wants to do--he's worked very, very hard and I'm proud of him, but he's not very happy in his career and more than anything I want for him to be happy. We are in our twenties--I'm 27 and he's 28, we have few responsibilities: no kids, no mortgage, no car payments etc. and we can live on my salary and still have a comfortable amount in savings. Also, we wouldn't have to take out any loans for school. I feel that if there is any time for him to do it, now is the time.

    DH is currently an actuary--as an actuary you have to take a series of 9 exams which get increasingly harder and only a certain percentage of test-takers pass on a global level--it usually takes maybe 10 years to pass them all? DH has passed 8 of them and just took the 9th exam. He already has a title for passing 7 of them, but passing all of them would be nice. The issue is that he's not happy in his job...but he's not sure if it's the job or if it's him. He doesn't know if he should appreciate what he's got and just push through his frustrations and "cope" with it or if he should just bail, see what else is out there and hope he finds something he likes more, even if it's not as financially rewarding. I really feel like his current profession is one we can "fall back on" if need be--since he has a title, it would be easy for him to get back into this field.

    What DH struggles with is that he feels ready to move forward in his life--we've been saving for a house and he's very ready for that step and to and start thinking about a family. He feels that by going back to school and not having his stream of income, those plans would need to be put on hold. He feels that going back to school is a step back. I don't really feel this way at all--I think that continuing his education in something that would benefit him more in the long-run is a step forward for him and for us (I don't want to see him miserable in his job for years go come). And besides, we don't have any plans to have kids for atl least 3 more years, anyway, which I feel gives us some time. He says that by giving up a good, established career he feels that he's sacrifcing too much for something he don't know will turn out the way he wants. My argument is that he can always go back to that if he needs to.

    I would love to hear if others have experience in this--I know it's common for people to go back to law school or get their MBA (DH is a mathematician, so he'd probably be getting his PhD in physics or something similar). How did you decide as a couple what to do? What decision did you make? What were some of the hardest parts of that decision? Did you or your spouse regret it?
     
  2. gailrmv
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    3,136
    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2005
    by gailrmv » May 28, 2008
    I think going back to school is a step forward that would be a great move for him, but only when and if he knows what he wants to do post graduation and is reasonably sure it will make him happier than what he does now.

    If he goes back to school just because he enjoys the challenge of learning new things and and the time is right, he may find that he finishes his program and is no happier in a new job than currently.

    If possible could he volunteer or intern in the field that he wants to go into after his next degree, before committing to a grad program, to make reasonably sure that is a right fit? (He wouldn't be able to start a program til fall 2009, right? so he will have some time to do this I would think.)

    Grad school is a large commitment of time and money, and I think it is a wonderful investment in yourself generally speaking. However, I have found that you are much more narrow in your options after getting a grad degree. (i.e. if you decide to do somthing untraditional with your degree, employers say, why do you want to do X when your degree is in Y? more so than out of undergrad.) So, I think for a variety of reasons, it is important think through not just the decision to go back, but what he would realistically do when finished.

    I agree the timing sounds good that he can go back to school now, since your financial and family commitments allow it. He can always go later, but it seems much more complicated to go back to school after kids.

    If he does start a program I would highly recommend for him to spend as much time as possible networking and interning in his new field to figure out exactly what he wants to do after graduation. Although this can be a challenge time-wise with classes, it is the perfect time to do it. I wish I had spent much more time on this during my masters. It is much harder to do later on.

    Hope that was somewhat coherent and helps a bit!
     
  3. brazen_irish_hussy
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    2,044
    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2006
    by brazen_irish_hussy » May 28, 2008
    My FI did something very similiar. He had a good job but hated it. We have to work most days, they shouldn''t be spent hating it, and that''s what he was doing. He started his first sememster this spring and it was the happiest I have seen him in a long time. I don''t know if this will be more financial sound in the long run, but I suspect it will and just to seem him so happy with life and so proud of himself makes me happy. He is working full time during the summer and like you, we have few financial obligations so I was able to support him and don''t mind. I can''t tell you the best path for your situation, but I can tell you that it worked very well for us.
     
  4. neatfreak
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    14,164
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2007
    by neatfreak » May 28, 2008
    It's a big decision, and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. That said, as a 2 Ph.D. household here (and my hub is in math!), I can say it is extremely rewarding if you enjoy it.

    A few things to think about:

    1. It might be a good idea for him to get into a program where even a master's is valuable, like computer science, etc. Some fields, like math, a master's isn't worth anything, so IF he were to drop out before finishing his Ph.D., he would get something worthwhile if he were in comp sci, whereas math he'd get nothing of value.

    2. A Ph.D. is a HUGE commitment. Make sure he understands that depending on the school and program, he's in for at least 5 and up to 8 or 9 (that's an extreme, but it happens) years to get his Ph.D. That is why point #1 is so important IMO, because many people get frustrated and leave.

    3. What exactly is his GOAL with getting a Ph.D.? In many areas, he'll actually be taking a pay cut once he gets the Ph.D., and I assume actuarial science is one of those fields since actuaries can make a lot of dough. Does he want to teach? Do research? A Ph.D. is really for teaching and/or doing research, so if those two things are not in his goals, he might want to rethink.

    4. Law School and an MBA are VERY VERY different animals than getting a Ph.D. He needs to make sure he knows what he wants to do if he's getting a Ph.D., whereas law school or an MBA can simply be a booster to many careers IMO.


    We'd be happy to answer any other questions he might have too (or you NEL!).
     
  5. Miranda
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    4,102
    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2006
    by Miranda » May 28, 2008
    DH thought about going back to school for his MBA not long after getting his business degree. In the corporate world he decided more experience would be more beneficial than more school. He would not be any further along in his career now if he had his MBA. Now of course that does not apply to all jobs or lines of work. If it''s an accomplishment he really wants or needs then by all means, he should do it. I think having a clear goal would help make the decision for him/you.

    And for what it''s worth, I don''t know many people who are truly satisfied and happy in their jobs. From what I''ve seen and know, happiness is found in each other and family. My philosophy (and DH''s) is that a job pays the bills and for the lifestyle you choose to have - whatever that may be. True happiness, for us, comes from our kids and the environment we live in. Our kids make us happy, we make us happy, our house/neighborhood/community/city makes us happy...Not work. While there is a certain amount of personal satisfaction hubby gets from doing a good job and the compensation that comes from that, it isn''t what defines him. Of course nobody wants to work in a job they are miserable in and if more education is the only way to get out of that then there is no choice, really. You are certainly right that now is the time to further his education if he chooses to.

    Another thought is that you guys are still pretty young. Is he in a field where he has to ''put in his time'' before realizing rewards? I know my hubby felt like this at about your hubby''s age. He wanted to give it all up and be a fireman.[​IMG] Good luck!
     
  6. swingirl
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    5,621
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2006
    by swingirl » May 28, 2008
    It''s perfect timing. He''ll never be able to do it one you two have more commitment to bills, kids, etc.

    I say go for it.
     
  7. NewEnglandLady
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    6,287
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    by NewEnglandLady » May 28, 2008
    Thank you all for your input!!

    Neatfreak, all of your points are very valid and are the main source of his concern. His current degree is in math and he feels extremely limited in his options: he can either do what he''s doing now or teach (which he has some anxiety over). He''s thinking of physics so that a.) He won''t have to start from scratch and b.) he can focus on more on research. He''s also thinking of going into a science field, but might have to take more core courses since it''s farther removed from his current degree. Really, he''s looking at options that will get him out of an office and in a more academic environment and he feels those fields are a good fit for him because he enjoys them and could spend his time in research and not stuck in his suffocating corporate office.

    BTW, he did go back to get his degree in computer science, but ultimately decided it wasn''t a good fit for him.

    As you mentioned, Neatfreak, it''s the time commitment that is the biggest hangup. He feels the earliest he could be done is in 4-5 years and that makes this a tough decision. He doesn''t know if he wants it that badly and doesn''t want to dive in for 2 years only to decide to go back to what he''s doing now. If he''s going to go for it, he needs to be completely committed to it.

    Making this decision in May wasn''t the best timing, but oh well...we''re going to discuss tonight and start coming up with a plan. Thank you VERY much for your input, it''s so great to hear from people who''ve been through it and know what the biggest challenges are.
     
  8. Elmorton
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    3,998
    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2007
    by Elmorton » May 28, 2008
    Strange...DH and I were just talking about this not even an hour ago.

    I think my take is very similar to Neatfreak's (her advice is right on, btw). I just completed my MA last year, and most of my friends in the program were working on their PhDs (and a majority of our classwork was together), so I feel like I got a really good perspective on what the PhD is like.

    Grad school is not hard, and honestly, the workload isn't that ridiculous either - I'm willing to go to bat and say this for (nearly) every grad degree in the country. You're never assigned things that only geniuses can do. My advisor used to say that a PhD is an award for sitting still and doing what you're told - I can't think of a better way to say it.

    What makes grad school difficult is the pressure, stress, competition, and constant learning of new material and reaching back to combine it with old material. Seriously, my brain was on overdrive for two years and by the end of it, I was absolutely exhausted. I used to describe it to DH by saying that for any job, you can come home, and for the most part, you can relax. When you're in grad school, you don't get that rest. You have to pre-plan your every move, you re-play discussions, you think about what you need to add to your paper, your research, who you need to meet with, who you'd like to avoid next time, you stress about upcoming projects, etc. I was flipped out the entire time and everyone I knew was flipped out, too. Depression runs rampant in graduate programs.

    Also, I think relationships can be difficult to manage. I'm really glad DH and I were long-distance while I was in school. A friend of mine recently quit because she felt that her studies were putting too much strain on her marriage (although part of that strain was financial). I did of course have friends who were married, even with families, and I think some actually fared better because they had different priorities (ie, grad school was NOT the most important thing in their lives). But I know that presents a different set of stressors as well.

    Anyway, that said, part of me is really itching to go back. [​IMG]

    Here's my thoughts - does he already have a master's? If so, shoot...go for the PhD. He knows what he's getting into and should have the academic groundwork already. If not, unless he has a specific job that he wants to do, I would make a smaller goal first - find a program that does Master's and PhD separately (combined programs are VERY problematic if you don't continue - you could do two years and have nothing to show for it if you decide it's not the right choice).

    Also - at least in my field (humanities - so I'm pretty much the opposite of a math person), it's pretty darned important to know specifically what you want to do from day one, since all of your projects should be about (relatively) the same thing to make a dissertation easier, to make connections with the right professors, etc. The other thing - most people who earn a PhD are going to be teaching along with doing research. I've seen a lot of people earn graduate degrees because they liked their field of study and then realize they don't like teaching, hate undergraduates, etc. OR they'll study something they love (British Literature being a good example) and then realize that there will literally be 400 applicants for 1 tenure-track position at a sub-par unheard of college in nowheresville. Whoops. What I'm saying is that graduate school is not a good place to figure out what you want to do or try to ride out a bad economy - but if you have a specific goal you want to reach with a graduate degree, then it's a good idea.

    Honestly, it sounds like the timing could be pretty good, especially if he can somehow condense a program (like if he can take a full load and do a master's in one year and two summers), but I would definitely do the pre-planning on the front end to make sure it's a commitment (because this is a big one) that both of you are willing to make.

    OH! And if you have a university near you, perhaps he could get his feet wet by taking one class this summer. Many universities let you sign up as a "graduate student at large" where you basically say "I don't plan to get my degree by taking one class every now and then - I just want to take this one class" so he can get a feel for how the university functions. To be perfectly honest, I'm not a fan of online-only graduate degrees, also (unless you're working at a job where the graduate degree will help you climb higher within the same company/institution). I'm not against online education, but there are some really sketchy online universities and programs. If the online university is trademarked with LLC or the president is called a CEO or if professors are called things like "Instructional Specialists" - RUN. They're running a business of selling degrees, not an education.

    ETA: One more thing to add - most programs do admissions in December/January - so it might not be possible to start in the fall at this point.
     
  9. mercoledi
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    2,822
    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    by mercoledi » May 28, 2008

    So no offense to Elmorton, but in this respect science and humanities PhDs are very, very different. If my DH was getting a PhD in Education in the program where he did your masters, what you said is largely true. As an 8th year graduate student in a research-based science degree program, it''s much dicier than doing as your told. Depending on what kind of physics the OP''s husband is interested in, it could go either way. Programs/schools/fields can vary widely.
     
  10. Haven
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    13,166
    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2007
    by Haven » May 28, 2008
    DITTO to everything TanDogMom said. Every. Single. Word.

    I would not advise anyone to go back to school unless they are very sure that the degree they''re planning to pursue will prepare them to do something they truly want to do when they''re done. Otherwise, grad school can be a sort of limbo for those who are unsure what their next step should be, and in the end that''s a lot of time and money to waste procrastinating.

    Take it from me--I went to law school on a full scholarship because I hated my job and had nothing better to do. Even though it didn''t cost me anything, it was still a waste of time I could have spent pursuing a career I truly wanted to pursue.

    I also have to ditto Mercoledi''s words about grad school--I have several friends pursuing PhDs (in the sciences and humanities) and some of them are in extremely challenging programs. My first master''s degree was a breeze, but my second was very intense, and quite frankly it nearly sucked the life out of me.
     
  11. neatfreak
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    14,164
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2007
    by neatfreak » May 28, 2008

    I have to agree with this in part. If you're in a competitive program, it's not easy. Elmorton is right that you don't have to be a genius to do the work, but at the same time you spend a LOT of time working on assignments because your professors are there to challenge you, and at least in my program they do challenge you. No one is there to hold my hand and walk me through things, so a lot of time is spent figuring out how to do things before I can even start working on a project. I have a feeling physics would be the same way.

    I have to spend a TON of time developing research projects, learning the methods to conduct them, going to and presenting at conferences, etc. And that is on top of my coursework which isn't easy. Then again I am in a very competitive program at a top 3 school, so my experience is VERY different than someone at a school that is less competitive.

    I know my friends in "softer" fields have a much easier time in school than I do. I've taken a few classes in social work, education, etc., and many of those classes are significantly easier than the stuff I have to take.
     
  12. mimzy
    Brilliant_Rock

    Messages:
    1,847
    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2007
    by mimzy » May 28, 2008
    Ditto mercoledi!

    getting your masters in a liberal arts program or soft science is COMPLETELY different than a science based program. i''ve had friends that are in those programs and for many it seems more like an extention of undergrad than actual grad school (this is NOT to discredit those programs, they are just different). the program i am in is EXTREMELY hard and the workload is intense. i would NEVER describe it as easy, and i graduated with double honors blah blah blah in my undergrad.

    NEL - i think that if you DH DOES go back, he should have no reservations about it. because there is no half-a$$ing your way in grad school. He has to be prepared to kiss any thoughts of mental liberation goodbye for those five years. is his only hesitation that it seems like he is going "backwards", or is it because he''s not sure if he''ll be happy in that either? if it is the latter, then it might be better to look at other avenues, because five years and $$$ in tuition is a lot to pay for just seeing if you like something [​IMG]. but if it is the former, then he should put that silly thought out of his head and go for it. he''s got a LOT of years ahead of him, and there''s no good reason to resign himself to something he doesn''t like so early on.
     
  13. NewEnglandLady
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    6,287
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    by NewEnglandLady » May 28, 2008
    You are all wonderful, thank you so much!! You all bring up great points and things we need to discuss. I think the issues that you all have run into in your experiences are the things we both need to be aware of--it's a really tough decision. I think tonight we might take a step back and weigh ALL of our options. I think he's also planning to reach out to some of his favorite professors and get their feedback about it, which should help.

    Again, you guys are fantastic!
     
  14. Elmorton
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    3,998
    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2007
    by Elmorton » May 28, 2008
    WHOA, fellas - I never said it was easy (and for the record, there is quite a bit of intellectual work going on in those dirty, underfunded humanities).

    What that statement meant is that is takes INTENSE focus, INTENSE dedication, and dealing with a lot of difficult people who pull you in different directions (in my graduate program, doing what I was told ranged from difficult to impossible since professors tended to disagree due to their differing backgrounds - thank God! I ended up with an amazing - intellectually demanding - education).

    What it also means is that you don''t have to be a genius to be able to work hard - and that''s the what the majority of graduate school is: labor-intensive intellectual work. In my social and professional circles, the one commonplace I tend to hear over and over again is that it''s not the pieces that are difficult, it''s the whole. A friend of mine in medical school told me that there was no one thing that was difficult, but when it all combined, it was hell.

    I do think it takes a pretty hefty amount of creativity and exploration to EXCEL in any particular field of study - the point of a graduation education (IMO) is to explore and push the boundaries, and you can''t do that if you''re not well-prepared by your foundation and if you don''t think outside the box. But, I think that the notion that the truly brilliant are the only ones who excel in a graduate education is often a myth, and, given the time, money, and focus, most people could complete a graduate degree (given they have some competence in the given field).
     
  15. gailrmv
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    3,136
    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2005
    by gailrmv » May 28, 2008


    Haven, thanks very much for agreeing w/ me!
     
  16. dreamer_dachsie
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    23,832
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2007
    by dreamer_dachsie » May 28, 2008
    Here is my 2 c based on the very little I know about your DH and your situation NEL:

    I just graduated a year ago with a PhD in research-based experimental psychology, currently starting my second year of post graduate worl. I know many others in academia, including the sciences, especially engineering and biology. I don't think I would recommend your hubby go to graduate school unless there is something specific about graduate school and the life of an acadmic that he feels irresistaby drawn towards. You need an inner reserve of passion, commitment, and insanity to do well in academia, especially in the early years. You need to live for 5 + years on very little money in grad school, work like a dog, and then at the end of that tunnel you are looking at another 2 - 3 years as a post-doctoral fellow (in all likelihood), and then if you are lucky you get a job as a professor and work like a dog to get tenure. So although the next 2-3 years may be ideal for your hubby to be in school, in actuality, the process of entering academia is more like 5 - 10 years. Oh, and if he becomes an academic, you will have to be ready to move anywhere in the country to get a job, that's just something to consider.

    Yes, I am focussing on the negative, because unless you think to yourself, "That doesn't sound so bad!" then don't take it on. Knowing what I know now (e.g., that your acutal abilities don't necessarily get you a job, luck and availablity of work plays a huge roll), I'm not sure I would have pursued graduate school. And I am crazy and love my field and am very good at it.

    A master's degree is a whole other ball game and could lead to rewarding work in a professional field as a researcher. I am just speaking of the PhD/academia route.

    I can totally understand your hubby wanting to change careers, and wholeheartedly would support my partner doing that. But before considering more education and years and years of training, I would first try to encourage your hubby to explore all the career options that require the high level of training he already possesses, but are more interesting or fun for him. Are there other more interesting jobs he can go with his degree? I bet there are. Seriously consider those before jumping into the graduate school pool, it is very deep.
     
  17. FrekeChild
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    19,456
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2007
    by FrekeChild » May 28, 2008
    Yeah I agree with Mercoledi. FF is getting his PhD in social sciences and it is far from sitting still and doing what he''s told. With his Masters, it was more like that with his advisor basically telling him the changes to make on his thesis and doing the coursework, but with his PhD he''s very much the creator of his own destiny. He''s the one writing grant proposals and coming up with research ideas, executing research ideas, gathering data, finding data, assigning work to Masters students as well as helping them, writing and rewriting and rewriting papers, sending them in for publication, going to conferences, presenting anywhere he can, not to mention his coursework and thinking of dissertation topics and worrying about comprehensive exams. And thats not even going into worrying about money and outside stuff. It''s doubly hard on him that he''s the only Statistician in the department besides faulty-when Masters students need help they go to him over the faculty, and even some of the faculty comes to him for help, or to co-write papers where they need some kind of serious Statistics. And that''s just in the Social Sciences.

    He''s also considered doing a concurrent Masters in Statistics, was accepted into the program and has taken 90% of the coursework that goes into that-and according to him, the Stats Masters is much much more difficult than the Soc PhD.

    What reminds me of your situation NEL, is that last semester FF was basically offered a job with the Census Bureau, and he was SO TEMPTED to take them up on it-for reasons like your DH is thinking about NOT going back to school. Making money is nice, buying a house is nice, and marriage is nice-when you''re not in school and can actually make money. He is also concerned about the fact that once he gets a PhD, he''s pretty much limited to that field. So I feel your pain. And I''d do what pretty much everyone else has said, that he needs to have a specific goal in mind that going back to school will help him achieve. If not, I would say not to go.

    And I think Dreamer_dachsie brings some very good points up as well.
     
  18. mercoledi
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    2,822
    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    by mercoledi » May 28, 2008
    El- I hope I did not offend you, it was in no way my intention. Honestly all I was trying to say is that there is a range of experiences in the PhD world, across disciplines, within fields, even within programs. I in no way meant to insinuate that anyone is in anyway not bright enough to undertake a PhD. A lot depends on who your adviser / committee is, how the program is structured and what sort of resources are available to you. I completely agree that more than half the battle is dedication and stamina, but there are many many variables between enrolling in a PhD program and being granted a PhD. It sounds like you have an awesome adviser and are doing what you love!

    NEL- If your DH does pick the go-back-to-school option there are programs where you can enroll and get either a masters or a PhD, so he could try it out for 2-3 years and still get something out of it if it isn't exactly what he had in mind/ doesn't really match his career goals.
     
  19. NewEnglandLady
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    6,287
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    by NewEnglandLady » May 28, 2008
    I agree with all of you that he needs to have a specific goal in mind if he wants to push all the way through for a PhD. I really think that a program with a MA and then possibility of continuing on with a PhD is ideal for him. I think he'd be great in getting his PhD and I KNOW he thrives in an academic environment--I think the man sort of enjoys pulling his hair out until 5 a.m. while mulling over mathematical problems. At least he enjoys it 100x more than waking up and putting on a suit. I do feel that the transition from established career back to student will be hard on him, but I really, really think it will be worth it in the end. It seems like sometimes people are thrust into white-collar jobs and it becomes too easy to be trapped and I want for him to at least have a CHANCE to do something else, something he might really enjoy. If it doesn't pan out or if it wasn't what he thought it would be, he can go back to his current career, but I think he needs to see what else life has to offer.
     
  20. neatfreak
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    14,164
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2007
    by neatfreak » May 28, 2008
    You are so sweet NEL. The other thing for him to remember is that almost all the good programs already have their classes for next year...there are very few schools that would still admit him for this Fall...so he might have to wait another year.
     
  21. NewEnglandLady
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    6,287
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    by NewEnglandLady » May 28, 2008
    I know, this is a big concern and I''m not quite sure what the best plan is. We''re going to discuss it tonight. When he went to college he decided to go to a state school because a.) it was cheaper for him and b.) he started school very young--he was only 14 when he started college and his Dad could drop him off at the state school on his way to work and pick him up on his way home. I know it sounds kind of silly, but that was his best option at the time and he stayed there. He never really cared about going to a better school, though he was recruited by much better schools when he was about 16. He developed a pretty strong bond with his professors and reached back out to them today to see what his options were and they assured him he could start in the fall if he wanted. He''s keeping that as a backup plan, but isn''t sure if this time around he should think about a better school. He cares more about the people who would be his mentors more than the school itself, but now he''s wondering if he should maybe consider MIT. He was recruited by them when he was younger, but turned it down and maybe they wouldn''t be interested anymore, I don''t know. Anyway, it seems that we have some optoins, but we need a more clear plan. It''s going to a be a long, discussion-filled night.
     
  22. neatfreak
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    14,164
    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2007
    by neatfreak » May 28, 2008

    Yeah, he needs to get on that ASAP. I know my program (and my husbands) have the incoming class solidified already and aren''t accepting any more applications. Especially if he wants funding (which he really does if he wants to go to MIT!)
     
  23. NewEnglandLady
    Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    6,287
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    by NewEnglandLady » May 28, 2008
    Absolutely, Neatfreak, I think that if he''s going to get involved in a formal program it''s going to have to wait until next fall--I think the only option he has right now is the state school and even then he''d have to decide immediately. Thanks again for all of your help, you are an amazing lady! I don''t know how y''all have the energy for these PhDs!!!
     
  24. Dancing Fire
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    24,783
    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    by Dancing Fire » May 28, 2008
    i always tell my daughters....you can never get enough education. [​IMG] wish i''ve gone to college instead of gambling joints,pool halls and bowling alleys. [​IMG]
     
  25. dreamer_dachsie
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    23,832
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2007
    by dreamer_dachsie » May 28, 2008
    If he really wants an academic career, then he may benefit the most long-term from waiting to get into the right programme. Getting a job is a lot about "who you know" and the pedigree of a great program is worth it''s weight in gold. Like NF said, most schools admit one class per year, which would start in September, and they would accept applications in the previous year, usually only until Nov-Dec. So he may have missed that boat for the 2008-2009 year... but good things do come to those who wait. But it all depends on what his longer term goals are. If he really wants a research career at a primarily research institution, then waiting to be in the right programme is imperitive. If he wants a research career in private industry, perhaps waiting to get into a top-tier school is not necessary!

    I do know someone who was in a position simiar to your hubby''s a few years ago, where he wanted to start a program but had missed the deadline due to immigration complications. He managed to create a relationship with a prof and convinced him to hire him as a "research assistant" in the spring/summer on the understanding that if it worked out he would transition to being a student in the Fall. It worked out and he ended up getting his masters in mechanical engineering. Of course, that man could sweet talk anyone and his supervisor ws the dean of engineering, so had clout, but even if your hubby can''t start a programme right away, he can certainly do things to become involved in the field he is interested in.

    He is lucky to have you supporting him, NEL! That is so special.
     
  26. dreamer_dachsie
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    23,832
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2007
    by dreamer_dachsie » May 28, 2008
    LOL!
     
  27. bee*
    Super_Ideal_Rock

    Messages:
    12,170
    Joined:
    May 14, 2006
    by bee* » May 29, 2008
    I did a science degree and worked for a few years before returning to do veterinary. I always wanted to be a vet, it was just the matter of getting into it, and so for me it''s definitely a step forward. However it has also been very tough going back to college. D and I were looking to buy a house which has to be put on hold for another three years until I graduate, it''s tough not having my steady income although I do work part-time. I''d just make sure that he''s going back to do something that he really wants to do. I think at this stage that if I had gone back to do anything else, I''m not sure that I would have stuck it out but as veterinary is my dream, I wouldn''t even think of not doing it.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page