Give the jeweler a piece of my mind?

[tuffyluvr]

Some of you may remember my saga regarding my guy's choice of stone for my engagement ring. The stone faces up small (it's a 1.55ct cushion, but faces up more like a 1.3ct--6.39mmx6.39mm). By the time I realized it, it was too late to return it. Of course I love my ring--it's very special to me because of the sentiment and all the time and effort my guy put into it. I know that the jeweler told my guy that the stone was "very special", but the bottom line is: I know more about diamonds than my guy. I know that this stone is far from perfect--I kind of feel like it's an ugly little duckling here on PS.

This is where my question comes into play: My guy wants to take me downtown on Friday to look at wedding bands and get my ring cleaned. I know that the jeweler will ask if I love my new ring--do I say something to the jeweler? I would never, EVER want to hurt my guys feelings, but I don't want the jeweler to think he got away with duping us. FI thinks he got a good deal on the ring--he paid about $8k all-in for the diamond and setting (including tax). I have looked around at comparable stones and settings, and while he didn't get majorly ripped off, I don't think he got a 'deal'.

Do I take the high road and just nod and smile when asked if I love my ring, and then go elsewhere for my band? Or do I say, I like it, but I don't think that he had Mr.Tuffy's best interest at heart when he reccommended the stone???

 

[Gypsy]

You tell him the truth. You love that your DH took such care in chosing a beautiful ring for you. Don't insult anything in front of your FI, those words will scar him long after the jeweler has dismissed your complaints as you being a pain. But I wouldn't reward him with more business either. I think you should let your money speak for you. And shop elsewhere. That's the right thing to do , in my opinion.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I think it really depends on the purpose of your comments. Is it just to let the jeweler know that you know that your fiance could have gotten a better stone or a better price? If it's just to blow off steam, I'd probably skip the comments. In this instance, you are not looking to gain anything but the satisfaction of saying these words.

If, however, you would be interested in switching or trading the stone, then I would bring the matter up. If I were going down this path, I think I'd have a serious heart-to-heart with your guy before going into the store. Don't spring it on him.

I remember that you were not completely thrilled with the stone. If after having worn it for some time you still feel this way, maybe you would be better off trying to choose another stone. I don't know if you ever plan on upgrading the stone but if not, a lifetime is a long time to wear something that you're not thrilled with and it's a lot of money to be unhappy. The question is how much it might hurt or inflame your fiance and only you can truly answer that queston. Perhaps I'm more realistic than romantic but I'd rather tackle this subject now rather than later. Being totally honest in this type of situation is difficult but I'd rather have someone be up front with me than to pretend to love something they really didn't love. At that point both of you together could work on solving the issue.

Good luck - please let us know how it goes!

 

[tuffyluvr]

You tell him the truth. You love that your DH took such care in chosing a beautiful ring for you. Don't insult anything in front of your FI, those words will scar him long after the jeweler has dismissed your complaints as you being a pain. But I wouldn't reward him with more business either. I think you should let your money speak for you. And shop elsewhere. That's the right thing to do , in my opinion.

this is definitely the gracious way to handle the situation

 

[diamondseeker2006]

My feeling is this. Your ring faces up about the same as a 1 ct. round. I looked back and your ring thread said the stone was an H VS2. A round, excellent cut 1 ct. H VS2 costs about $7000-9000. Your custom setting could have easily cost $1500+. So the way I look at it is, he paid a fair price. You didn't get the look of a 1.5 ct. cushion, but I don't think he paid for one, either. A quick look at James Allen shows a 1.5 ct., H VS2 cushion around $10,000. So in reality, I don't think the jeweler ripped him off at all. If his budget was $8000, I think he did well! Your ring is beautiful!

I can understand if you were disappointed that the stone was a modern cushion instead of an antique cushion, but the time to have said anything about that has long passed. So I would be proud of your ring and not hold anything against the jeweler. Most will not have antique cushions, so unless your fiance had specifically been told to shop at Good Old Gold or ERD, it would have been unlikely to have found an antique cushion at a local jeweler.

 

[tuffyluvr]

I think it really depends on the purpose of your comments. Is it just to let the jeweler know that you know that your fiance could have gotten a better stone or a better price? If it's just to blow off steam, I'd probably skip the comments. In this instance, you are not looking to gain anything but the satisfaction of saying these words.

If, however, you would be interested in switching or trading the stone, then I would bring the matter up. If I were going down this path, I think I'd have a serious heart-to-heart with your guy before going into the store. Don't spring it on him.

I remember that you were not completely thrilled with the stone. If after having worn it for some time you still feel this way, maybe you would be better off trying to choose another stone. I don't know if you ever plan on upgrading the stone but if not, a lifetime is a long time to wear something that you're not thrilled with and it's a lot of money to be unhappy. The question is how much it might hurt or inflame your fiance and only you can truly answer that queston. Perhaps I'm more realistic than romantic but I'd rather tackle this subject now rather than later. Being totally honest in this type of situation is difficult but I'd rather have someone be up front with me than to pretend to love something they really didn't love. At that point both of you together could work on solving the issue.

Good luck - please let us know how it goes!

I would want to bring it up *tactfully* with hopes that the jeweler would be open to swapping the stone... my goal is absolutely not to vent or be confrontational. The thing it, since the stone is cut deep it has some dark spots. It is very sparkly and it's got a lot of fire, but I don't think it makes up for the overly deep cut. During the ring selection, FI took me to see a stone he had reserved. It was a smaller stone, but I liked the faceting better. I think the jeweler sold him on my stone because 'bigger is better'. I dunno?

Or what about a recut?? Is that an option, perhaps? I don't know much about the recut process

 

[tuffyluvr]

My feeling is this. Your ring faces up about the same as a 1 ct. round. I looked back and your ring thread said the stone was an H VS2. A round, excellent cut 1 ct. H VS2 costs about $7000-9000. Your custom setting could have easily cost $1500+. So the way I look at it is, he paid a fair price. You didn't get the look of a 1.5 ct. cushion, but I don't think he paid for one, either. A quick look at James Allen shows a 1.5 ct., H VS2 cushion around $10,000. So in reality, I don't think the jeweler ripped him off at all. If his budget was $8000, I think he did well! Your ring is beautiful!

I can understand if you were disappointed that the stone was a modern cushion instead of an antique cushion, but the time to have said anything about that has long passed. So I would be proud of your ring and not hold anything against the jeweler. Most will not have antique cushions, so unless your fiance had specifically been told to shop at Good Old Gold or ERD, it would have been unlikely to have found an antique cushion at a local jeweler.

This actually makes me feel much better. The thought of my FI getting ripped off is infuriating, but it sounds like he got a pretty good deal. It's not the size that bothers me--I actually think the size is perfect. But it does have some dark spots because it is too deep. Or maybe I'm being overly critical?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, cushions are almost impossible to evaluate for light return from a cert, other than the ones Good Old Gold sends to AGS. I imagine very, very few jewelers would even have an ASET and if they did, they probably wouldn't offer it to the buyers! Could the cut be improved? Possibly! The key would be retaining the same diameter and just improving the pavilion. I think either Brian Gavin or maybe Good Old Gold could help you with a recut, but it would probably involve sending off your ring and then they'd have to unmount the stone to evaluate it for a recut. The cost would probably be worth it, but you could be without your ring for several weeks. I think that's something only you could answer whether you'd be happy without your ring for an extended amount of time.

Very few cushions will be ideal cut since there aren't cutting standards for those like there are for rounds. So your stone could be above average or even better. It's just impossible to guess unless you want to buy the ASET scope. But there's a downside in going that far, too. You could be more unhappy with your stone. But I think it really looks beautiful in your pictures, so it just may be a reflection of something that you are seeing when you see the dark spots.