- Apr 3, 2004
on your first date?
If this is the case, then it's more deeply rooted in social expectations of male and female roles than even I suspected.Dreamer_D|1315370829|3011348 said:I tell a story about this in my class on relationships.
I always tell my students that on a first date the man should always offer to pay, the woman should (if she likes) make a modest attempt to say no she will pay for herself, or she should start slowly reaching for her wallet, and then the man should insist, and she should say "Thank you so much!" and accept.
That is the script that people follow when both people like one another.
Based on eschange theory, tf the woman refuses to accept what is essentially a gift from the man, then it send a message that she is not interested in having an ongoing relationship with him. Same message sent if the man does not pay.
So the whole song and dance is not at all about women's lib or anything of the sort. It is a form on communication between the pair about mutual romantic interest.
Cookie|1315404795|3011555 said:No. He looked at the bill, and figured out what 50% would be. I was not thrilled about that. Later I let him know that men are supposed to pay for the first date, regardless of the earnings difference. Nowadays, sometimes he will insist to pay for expensive dinners, but with our joint card.