girls,did your SO pick up the dinner tab...

[Dancing Fire]

on your first date?

 

[jlp86]

Yep, and pretty much everyone after that! Unless it was my treat which was determined before going out!

 

[AmeliaG]

Always!

 

[charbie]

He sure did...although we didn't go to dinner, just a movie, but he bought my ticket. It was a Thursday night, and while I didn't have class the next day, he was a working man and had to get home bc he had to be at work early the next morning.
He paid for pretty much everything in the beginning of our relationship...let's be honest, he's an engineer and I was a very poor college student.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Nope, because I asked him out

 

[rubybeth]

Yup, on our first 'date' when I was 18 and he was 17, and again years later on our first real date when I was 24 and he was 23.

 

[Colltee]

On my first dinner date he brought me over to his place and cooked for me, so I guess you could say he picked up the tab
Going forward from that we always split the bill equally, same with drinks in a bar etc. It's rare in Ireland to expect the bloke to pay for you dinner-wise. I think it's a lot more common in the US.

 

[missy]

Yes on our first dinner date. Our very first date though was a walk through Central Park in November at dusk. Very romantic and also very free.

He always paid for mostly everything when we were dating.

 

[lyra]

Yes he did. Our first date was dinner at a very nice restaurant, then a movie. That was 29 years ago. I still have souvenirs from the date too.

 

[slg47]

yes I got the $4 cup of soup...he joked that he was expecting to have to pay more

 

[maplefemme]

He did, we were supposed to just have morning coffee and a walk but it ended up being a whole-day-.date ending in dinner and a movie, it was a great first date.
2nd date I cooked dinner. We shopped for it together and he said I had forgotten an ingredient at the cash register (but he had actually hid it) so he left to get it for me. I live across the street from the market so when he took 20+ minutes I thought my date had gone AWOL.
When he came back he sneeked a new mountain bike that I'd been looking at that morning, into my living room whilst I served up. I darn near dropped my plate when I saw it

Thank you E-Harmony!

 

[Autumnovember]

He did but I absolutely was not expecting him to. I took out my wallet and was about to pay for myself and he told me that he would pay. I never expect someone to pay for me on the first date.

 

[Gypsy]

Yes. We went to McDonald's. I'm a cheap date.

 

[somethingshiny]

Yes. Another McDonalds date here! I've never paid for a date.

 

[Anastasia]

Yes. There would not have been a second date if he didn't!

After a few dates, we would take turns picking up the tab.

 

[Amys Bling]

Yes! Even at 14 my hubby worked little jobs and treated me well!!

 

[monarch64]

Yes. He asked me if he could take me to dinner, and he planned the entire evening. It was assumed on both our parts, and correctly, that he would be paying since he'd done the asking and the organizing (we had just met a week before). He also brought me flowers. It was very sweet, and he made such a great first impression that I've decided to keep him.

 

[centralsquare]

Yes in the beginning but over time we started to switch who paid...too uncomfortable for me not to.

 

[Laila619]

Yes, he sure did. He paid on every date after that as well. We're both pretty traditional that way so it worked for us.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I tell a story about this in my class on relationships.

I always tell my students that on a first date the man should always offer to pay, the woman should (if she likes) make a modest attempt to say no she will pay for herself, or she should start slowly reaching for her wallet, and then the man should insist, and she should say "Thank you so much!" and accept.

That is the script that people follow when both people like one another.

Based on eschange theory, tf the woman refuses to accept what is essentially a gift from the man, then it send a message that she is not interested in having an ongoing relationship with him. Same message sent if the man does not pay.

So the whole song and dance is not at all about women's lib or anything of the sort. It is a form on communication between the pair about mutual romantic interest.

 

[beesha77]

Always. I've never paid for a date.

 

[mrscushion]

Our first official dinner date? Yes, he paid. After that, I think we took turns. We were both in college and I would have felt extremely uncomfortable if he had always paid. Plus, we didn't really go on official "dates." We were pretty serious pretty quickly, even though we were so young.

 

[zoebartlett]

Yes, my husband paid on our first date. We met for coffee, so it didn't set him back much.

 

[Jennifer W]

I tell a story about this in my class on relationships.

I always tell my students that on a first date the man should always offer to pay, the woman should (if she likes) make a modest attempt to say no she will pay for herself, or she should start slowly reaching for her wallet, and then the man should insist, and she should say "Thank you so much!" and accept.

That is the script that people follow when both people like one another.

Based on eschange theory, tf the woman refuses to accept what is essentially a gift from the man, then it send a message that she is not interested in having an ongoing relationship with him. Same message sent if the man does not pay.

So the whole song and dance is not at all about women's lib or anything of the sort. It is a form on communication between the pair about mutual romantic interest.

If this is the case, then it's more deeply rooted in social expectations of male and female roles than even I suspected.

If I'm understanding this correctly, the communication exchange is based on the assumption that the first date payment is a gift to express and enquire about interest, but somehow implicit in that is that the gift should be offered by the male and be open to acceptance or rejection by the female. That (to me) says something very fundamental about roles and expectations (or maybe just biology) as well as communication of attraction.

To answer the question, no, my husband didn't pick up the dinner tab. Our first date wasn't a dinner date, but the first time we went out for a meal together I paid, because I invited him and I chose the venue and I think that's polite and appropriate.

 

[MAC-W]

Nope, because I was on a business trip with associated expenses, so I picked up the tab. And for the next 4 or 5 dates as well. I think we had been dating for about 2 months before we actually went on a date that wasn't covered under 'business expenditure' - he did pick up the tab for that one

 

[cookies]

No. He looked at the bill, and figured out what 50% would be. I was not thrilled about that. Later I let him know that men are supposed to pay for the first date, regardless of the earnings difference. Nowadays, sometimes he will insist to pay for expensive dinners, but with our joint card.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I offered to split it and he accepted. I was glad, since it makes things feel more even. I also made more money than he did, so what would have been an average meal for me was quite expensive for him.

 

[MAC-W]

No. He looked at the bill, and figured out what 50% would be. I was not thrilled about that. Later I let him know that men are supposed to pay for the first date, regardless of the earnings difference. Nowadays, sometimes he will insist to pay for expensive dinners, but with our joint card.

Lol, hubby and I have a joint account now as well, and every time we go out for dinner he always says "I'll get this". I do however appreciate the thought.







(is it bad of me if I occasionally have a sneaking thought about would he still say the same if we didnt have a joint account?)

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Yes he did. I've never paid for anything on a date with him or anyone else.

 

[sba771]

Yup! I tried to get him to let me leave the tip, but he wouldn't. He was a good tipper though which I liked very much.