Gifts for Destination Wedding

[Sha]

I read online that guests who attend are destination wedding are still 'expected' to give a gift in celebration of the union. But are guests who decline the wedding (due to costs, etc.) expected to give a gift as well?

FI and I will be doing our registry soon, and I'm just wondering how many gifts we can 'expect' to get. I know gifts are not obligatory under any circumstances, but we're just trying to see how many things we should register for. We will be sending out about 50 invitiations, and expecting about 15-20 persons to come.

I'm wondering if we should register closer to 50 items or closer to 20. There are a few key items that we would really like to get. I'm also curious as to what the etiquette on this is.

Thanks!

 

[Independent Gal]

I think that the etiquette is that if you receive an invitation, it''s polite to send a gift (all else being equal). So I''d recommend registering for closer to 50 things.

Also, you may be surprised how many people come! So make sure you''re ready juuuust in case 40 couples unexpectedly say ''Can''t wait!''

 

[sumbride]

Date: 9/6/2007 9:23:07 PM
Author: Independent Gal
I think that the etiquette is that if you receive an invitation, it's polite to send a gift (all else being equal).

I've been going back and forth on this with FI. His mom says this too, but I'm from the "you only HAVE to send a gift if you're GOING to the wedding." This is why his mom won't send invitations to her friends that are "too old to come." I think it's rude to not send them an invitation and am in no way expecting to get a gift from them. We haven't worked it out yet, so thus far only 1 of her friends has received an invitation.

That said, we have been getting smaller gifts from some people that have already said they can't make it, but it's a complete surprise and certainly not expected.

I don't know what the true etiquette is though, and the trend may vary by region and/or circle.

 

[Sha]

Thanks for the responses so far. Yeah, IG, I think I read somewhere that once you receive an invitation the NICE thing to do would be to send a gift, but it''s not a big "faux pas" really if you don''t.

Sumbride, I know what you mean about the invitation thing. I know a lot of people won''t be able to come to our wedding either, but I dont'' want to assume they''re not coming and not send them an invitation. Plus, I think some people would just appreciate the honour of being invited, even though they''re not able to make it. At the same time, I don''t want people to think that they''re receiving invitations just so that we could get more gifts. Hm..