Wedding Gifts for bachlorette?

[newbie124]

Might seem kind of weird, but I''ve never attended a shower or bachelorette party before (most wedding''s I''ve attended I''ve been closer to the groom than the bride or was just a guest of someone else).

I''ve been invited to my first for a friend next weekend. The bachelorette is Sat night and the shower is Sunday. I''m planning to get her a nice picture frame for the shower, but it just dawned on me last night that I wasn''t sure if I should also be giving a bachelorette gift?

The invitation was vague on the bachelorette details, but it will probably be something low-key like dinner in the city. No particular themes or anything.

Can anyone please enlighten me on the proper etiquette and offer suggestions for what would make an appropriate bachelorette gift? And on average how much should I look to spend?

 

[AlliMay]

I''ve been to quite a few bachelorette parties and (believe me!) there is a pretty wide range for gifts (i.e. timid to super-naughty). But yes, I think that a bachelorette gift is necessary if the party is separate from the shower.

You will definitely have to use your own judgement about the bride''s personality and your relationship with her to determine what kind of gift you want to give. Here is a link to the Victoria''s Secret website, Bridal collection. There are some cute Bride tank tops and panties:

http://www2.victoriassecret.com/collection/?cgname=OSBRPWEDZZZ&cgnbr=OSBRPWEDZZZ&rfnbr=4985

 

[newbie124]

Thanks for chiming in, Allie!

I don''t know if I''m at the comfort level of buying specific lingerie...but I guess maybe I could get her a gift certificate? I also thought about something along the lines of a spa certificate, but that''s about the extent of my ideas right now. I guess the issue is that I want something kind of wedding-y, but not necessarily anything too overt or racy.

Also, if I get a gift certificate, I wasn''t sure how much would be appropriate?

 

[SparklyGirl*]

If i were you, I would get 2 seperate gifts. I like your idea for the shower. You could also get her something maybe for her something blue, etc. if she doesnt already have things for that. I personally like to give personal gifts and to me a gift card is very impersonal. Maybe though if you went with like a Victoria''s Secret Gift Card and maybe put a lipgloss and a thing of body spray with it? They also have some cute tank tops that are bride themed in the store.
For the gift card, that would be totally up to you. If you have already gotten her a wedding gift i would say maybe like 30ish. If not higher? It is realy up to you. But yes maybe a Vic. S card and some lipgloss/body spray. It goes with the same theme of Bachelorette Party and Sexy but still says girly and isnt too too personal as to get something naughty.

lol. Good Luck!

 

[galvana]

wow maybe it depends on where you are from geographically - im from new england and have never heard of bringing a gift to a bachelorette party - i have been to several - they usually are - everyone pays for limo, food, bar entry fees and the bride to be''s drinks for the night.
i have never been to one where people brings gifts. and im not expecting any gifts at mine -

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Call the MOH or hostess of the party and ask. Some bahcelorette parties are just a night on the town, and a gift would be out of place. I''m sure it wouldn''t be be unappreciated, just not necessary. Or it was just a night on the town, and some people like the hostesses brought gifts like silly things to wear or games to play at the bar. Other bachelorette parties are more like lingerie showers followed by a night on the town. Some bachelorette parties are spa days where everyone buys girly spa type things. I''ve been to parties where everyone brought gifts. I''ve been to parties where no one brought a gift. I''ve been to lingerie showers, etc. Each time, it was specified by the hostess.

I''d say that no matter which type of party it is, it is customary for the guests to pay the way of the bride... so buy her a drink at the bar or chip in for her dinner, etc.

The gift issue really just depends on what kind of bachelorette party you''re attending, and only the hostess can tell you.

 

[newbie124]

Thanks, everyone!

I think I''m going to email the hostess right now and ask for more details. My friend told me she thinks they''re still ironing out some plans b/c they weren''t 100% sure on attendance yet, but I only really have this weekend to shop for stuff, so I guess I''ll send the MOH an email and check.

 

[Gwyn]

Date: 9/18/2008 1:51:59 PM
Author: galvana
wow maybe it depends on where you are from geographically - im from new england and have never heard of bringing a gift to a bachelorette party - i have been to several - they usually are - everyone pays for limo, food, bar entry fees and the bride to be''s drinks for the night.
i have never been to one where people brings gifts. and im not expecting any gifts at mine -

I too and from new england and gifts are not customary at the bachelorette party. Depending on the evenings plans, either stay in or go out. The bridesmaids and those invited get together and split the cost of the evenings activities. I have never been to one where people brought seperate gifts. Usually if they do a theme thing or something, one or more of the people go out and purchase the needed stuff and the other split the cost, or whatever was agreed upon. When I hosted my cousins party I paid for everything but alot of times the MOH hosts it with the BMs or the whole group hosts. Maybe some people would bring gag gifts and stuff like penis veils and such for the Bachelorette to wear that night.

Given the fact that she is having a shower the next day, I dont know that you need to bring a second gift.

I think calling the host is a good idea. maybe you could contact some of the other girls that are going and see what their plans are.

Good Luck

 

[AlliMay]

Good idea...email the hostess and ask what the plans are. Even if gifts may not be customary and you still want to get something, I say go for it, but no need to spend a ton of money. I say a gift certificate for a spa (a certificate manicure would be affordable) would be a nice touch. Maybe even find out where the bride is getting hair / makeup done for the wedding day and get her a certificate from there(?) Personally, I have never spent more than about $25-$30 on a bachelorette gift, even for weddings I was in.

 

[musey]

For what it's worth, FI and I had a joint bachelor/-ette party with 8 of our friends (including the bridal party), and no one gave a gift.

I wouldn't ever think to expect one--to me, it's just a party!

 

[CaliCushion]

I live in LA, and have never seen anyone get presents (besides gag gifts, tiaras, veils etc) at a bachelorette party. Even the lingerie type gifts I''ve seen given at the shower. With that said, I''d be thrilled to get little "extra" presents or lingerie at my bachelorette, but I don''t expect anything. The way I see it, the present is my girls paying for my night out!

 

[debzy103]

I''m in NYC and there are no gifts at bachelorette parties - just at the shower, engagement party and wedding. I''d say that''s enough, right?!

Traditionally at a bachelorette party, the guests pay for the bachelorette''s dinner, drinks, ticket, or whatever you''re doing. It''s just being there to party that''s your gift!