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Getting to see my BF in 2 days! Need some advice!

shanshans2005

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 15, 2011
Messages
28
I'm so excited and nervous!!
I get to see my BF on tuesday! He is planning a dinner date on Saturday! I havent seen him since June and the last time he came home I was in New York ;(
I know for sure I'm not getting engaged but it would be nice lol. How do you ladies handle going out with your BF and not expect it. I dont want to go on the date and ruin it by me expecting him to propose and it not happen and then I ended acting like a pooshake and get butthurt. Especially in my case were we are long distance and every time we see each other I think it might happen. Ultimately I just dont want to be disappointed.

Yup.
 

Miss_GG

Rough_Rock
Joined
Apr 17, 2011
Messages
36
Hi shanshans2005 - if i was you i would relax and enjoy spending the time with your bf while he is home! Just take the time he is home/dinner/anything out of the ordinary you do - for what it is and know what your time will come when its right. At least thats what i try to do when me and my partner do things out of the ordinary (eg - NYE we are staying at an amazing hotel and we are going out to dinner and will be in the city to see the fireworks etc) while i would LOVE a proposal I am not counting on it and just want to enjoy spending the night with him - hope that helps you! Enjoy seeing your bf :)
 

atp223

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 27, 2011
Messages
290
hi shanshans! so people may criticize this advice, as it is kind of weird, but i am in a situation where my boyfriend has purchased the ring (we chose it out together), but he was very clear that i shouldn't expect it imminently. i too don't want to constantly be expecting it and ruin perfectly good vacations, as we have several trips and meetings of parents etc planned over the next few months. our last planned trip is to costa rica after christmas.

i've decided that the costa rica trip is far enough away that he will hopefully propose by then, but i am focusing on expecting it either on that trip or shortly after (as i could totally see him waiting till right after we got home to throw me off - and as a side note we have this joke about him proposing with a ring pop, so he wouldn't actually bring the ring to costa rica as it would probably get stolen - i have considered all angles :)). but i don't think that he would wait any later than say the end of january. by using this mentality (telling myself AND others who ask to expect it at a much later date - the longest i think he would realistically wait), if he doesn't propose before then (though he will have quite a few opportunities), i won't be disappointed because i will be expecting it later. so, even though it sounds really silly/weird/mind game ish, if you do think he will propose soon enough, focus on the latest possible time you think he would - even if it's spring or summer next year (i don't know how far along you guys are in engagement talks). then, with that "date" in mind, you can enjoy the next few months without expecting it every time you see him. if he ends up waiting longer than your projected worst case scenario, sure, that will be annoying...but if you are realistic about the longest he would wait, then you hopefully will be able to relax in the meantime and end up pleasantly surprised.
 

shanshans2005

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 15, 2011
Messages
28
Thanks Ladies!!
I really appreciate it. We haven't talked about when. Actually he doesnt want to tell me anything about it. I sent him the ring I like which he likes as well, but alas I have no say and no clue as to where and when. He is really traditional when it come to the engagement and buying of the ring. We went ring shopping once like 2 years ago. He said that he want to do it the right way which I appreciate it and i trust him enough to get me the ring im sooo in love with. So i'm gonna just enjoy my relationship and the time I get to see him. :twirl:

@ atp223 My brother in law did propose with a ring pop actually lol of course she said yes and then a month later he took her to the skate park where they met and proposed again with a real ring. it was very cute.
 

chemgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 16, 2009
Messages
2,345
atp223|1317051013|3025843 said:
hi shanshans! so people may criticize this advice, as it is kind of weird, but i am in a situation where my boyfriend has purchased the ring (we chose it out together), but he was very clear that i shouldn't expect it imminently. i too don't want to constantly be expecting it and ruin perfectly good vacations, as we have several trips and meetings of parents etc planned over the next few months. our last planned trip is to costa rica after christmas.

i've decided that the costa rica trip is far enough away that he will hopefully propose by then, but i am focusing on expecting it either on that trip or shortly after (as i could totally see him waiting till right after we got home to throw me off - and as a side note we have this joke about him proposing with a ring pop, so he wouldn't actually bring the ring to costa rica as it would probably get stolen - i have considered all angles :)). but i don't think that he would wait any later than say the end of january. by using this mentality (telling myself AND others who ask to expect it at a much later date - the longest i think he would realistically wait), if he doesn't propose before then (though he will have quite a few opportunities), i won't be disappointed because i will be expecting it later. so, even though it sounds really silly/weird/mind game ish, if you do think he will propose soon enough, focus on the latest possible time you think he would - even if it's spring or summer next year (i don't know how far along you guys are in engagement talks). then, with that "date" in mind, you can enjoy the next few months without expecting it every time you see him. if he ends up waiting longer than your projected worst case scenario, sure, that will be annoying...but if you are realistic about the longest he would wait, then you hopefully will be able to relax in the meantime and end up pleasantly surprised.

Haha my husband did this, but he forgot to bring one from home and they didn't sell them in the country we were in so he had to order a pack online. That ring pop ended up costing $20 or more!

As far as long distance relationships go, they're hard, but I find they actually make it easier to talk to your partner. You can't see them, so you have to actually talk and share things in order to feel close. I don't have any real advice. I just wish you a great time and encourage you to focus on what's happening now, rather than whether or not he's planning on proposing.
 

shanshans2005

Rough_Rock
Joined
Sep 15, 2011
Messages
28
Thanks! Yeah we try to skype all the time and talk. I mean this is the 3rd time we have done long distance in the past 4.5 years, so its nothing new. I am totally stoked I see him today!!

Wow 20 bucks for a ring pop that blows. Thanks again ladies!
 
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