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Getting married and having kids is for the rich...

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TravelingGal

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KimberlyH

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Extremely interesting article, TG. If memory serves I''ve read that , statistically speaking, the more well off a couple is the less likely they are to have a lot of children but I didn''t know about the connection between marriage and wealth. Thanks for sharing!
 

decodelighted

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Wow .. it''s almost the inverse of what I *thought* ... I guess I kinda assumed people who *didn''t* go to college maybe married or something soon after?? Huh ... guess not!

The part of the article that resonated most with me was the couple who was saddled with debt & luxury goods as "singles" but who straigned up after wedlock! HA!!! We''re trying to do that! I had a headstart on the debt reduction & owned a house previously but I know that we both are more concious of spending & trying to make more $$ etc for our MUTUAL benefit. It''s almost competitive in a GOOD way ...

Just furry kids for us though ... unless something radically changes ASAP.
 

kcoursolle

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Date: 3/4/2007 7:49:05 PM
Author: KimberlyH
Extremely interesting article, TG. If memory serves I''ve read that , statistically speaking, the more well off a couple is the less likely they are to have a lot of children but I didn''t know about the connection between marriage and wealth. Thanks for sharing!
This is true...there is a negative association between number of children and education/wealth, but a wealthier couple is more likely to have children *within* a marriage if that makes any sense.
 

biblobaggins23

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my thoughts on the article:

"with about a third of first births among white women coming before marriage" okay, i don't know about you, but i would NOT want to take kids into my marriage/relationship, whether i was rich or poor. lol. i could definately deal with having kids a few years AFTER i get married, but bringing kids into my marriage or any relationship right at the get-go would add more stress than i could deal with on top of dealing with my marriage/relationship! i personally don't think i could deal with that! i also personally, could not have a child unless i was married, because to me, kids find a LOT of security knowing that their parents are bound together exculsively in a happy relationship. just my opinion. however, i do realize that some couples who aren't married with kids may be able to deal, and kudos to them, but its not for me. i also realize that for some people having an unplanned pregnancy when they aren't married wasn't something that they chose to do or planned.

secondly, to respond to victoria, marriage DOES NOT OR SHOULD NOT ruin your life. it should not inhibit the things you want to do . you should marry because you want to expand your life and share new experiences with that person. in my opinion, if you think marriage is going to ruin your life and keep you from doing things, then maybe you should reass the person you are with or do those things before you get married. in no way, should marriage ruin your relationship or life. marriage was not meant to ruin a persons life and dull a relationship. you should be smart who you marry, and be fully mature when you get married. although, i can see how she believes that because of seeing her parents, but i don't think that should scare her into getting married and thinking her marriage will ruin her life.

thirdly, it could be that some people may just be too selfish to get married and may not want to share their life or money with other people (i'm sure we have all met or know someone like this). it may be they cannot financially support a family and don't want to deal with the burden and stress of that. that is understandable, but i wouldn't have kids or a marriage unless i could afford them and support them, just in my personal opinion. however, i understand that sometimes its unexpected to have kids out of wedlock.

this article doesn't suprise me though.
 

TravelingGal

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Date: 3/5/2007 12:25:59 AM
Author: biblobaggins23
my thoughts on the article:

''with about a third of first births among white women coming before marriage'' okay, i don''t know about you, but i would NOT want to take kids into my marriage/relationship, whether i was rich or poor. lol. i could definately deal with having kids a few years AFTER i get married, but bringing kids into my marriage or any relationship right at the get-go would add more stress than i could deal with on top of dealing with my marriage/relationship! i personally don''t think i could deal with that! i also personally, could not have a child unless i was married, because to me, kids find a LOT of security knowing that their parents are bound together exculsively in a happy relationship. just my opinion. however, i do realize that some couples who aren''t married with kids may be able to deal, and kudos to them, but its not for me. i also realize that for some people having an unplanned pregnancy when they aren''t married wasn''t something that they chose to do or planned.

secondly, to respond to victoria, marriage DOES NOT OR SHOULD NOT ruin your life. it should not inhibit the things you want to do . you should marry because you want to expand your life and share new experiences with that person. in my opinion, if you think marriage is going to ruin your life and keep you from doing things, then maybe you should reass the person you are with or do those things before you get married. in no way, should marriage ruin your relationship or life. marriage was not meant to ruin a persons life and dull a relationship. you should be smart who you marry, and be fully mature when you get married. although, i can see how she believes that because of seeing her parents, but i don''t think that should scare her into getting married and thinking her marriage will ruin her life.

thirdly, it could be that some people may just be too selfish to get married and may not want to share their life or money with other people (i''m sure we have all met or know someone like this). it may be they cannot financially support a family and don''t want to deal with the burden and stress of that. that is understandable, but i wouldn''t have kids or a marriage unless i could afford them and support them, just in my personal opinion. however, i understand that sometimes its unexpected to have kids out of wedlock.

this article doesn''t suprise me though.
LOL, sorry...this typo had me in stiches!


I also thought it would be the opposite, and that is why I found this article interesting. I would think the more educated would hold off on marriage, as I don''t associate high cost with marriage, I guess. I just think, marriage license and justice of the peace if you really need it. But when I went back in my life and thought of people I knew who were young, non-college educated, with kids out of wedlock, this article did ring true a bit.

And Deco, I think the financial part made sense too as TGuy and I really started saving and being much more frugal as we started planning our life together.
 

biblobaggins23

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 25, 2006
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227
lol, sorry!!! i meant REASSESS!!!!!!!!!!!! or reconsider! sorry, it wouldn't let me change it. hope it wasn't a freudian slip! woops! my bad! poor proofreading. i did go to college! lol!
 

Finding_Neverland

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 10, 2007
Messages
412
Date: 3/5/2007 12:25:59 AM
Author: biblobaggins23
my thoughts on the article:


secondly, to respond to victoria, marriage DOES NOT OR SHOULD NOT ruin your life. it should not inhibit the things you want to do . you should marry because you want to expand your life and share new experiences with that person. in my opinion, if you think marriage is going to ruin your life and keep you from doing things, then maybe you should reass the person you are with or do those things before you get married. in no way, should marriage ruin your relationship or life. marriage was not meant to ruin a persons life and dull a relationship. you should be smart who you marry, and be fully mature when you get married. although, i can see how she believes that because of seeing her parents, but i don''t think that should scare her into getting married and thinking her marriage will ruin her life.


this article doesn''t suprise me though.
I think, overall, the author intentionally picked a poor candidate to represent Cohabitation. I mean, look at the gal. She''s got 2 children with her Ex Hubby and where are the children??!! Living with Dad!! While Mom shacks up with BF in BF''s parent''s home.

Our college student children have friends making $20K/year, or less, who live on their own. They rent an el cheapo apt or get a group of friends to go in together on a larger place.

This Victoria Miller chick just smacks of irresponsibility on various levels IMHO.
 
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