so_confused
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2015
- Messages
- 3
Hi all,
I'm a long time poster, but would like to remain anonymous for this thread, and would like to seek your help and opinions regarding a personal matter.
I'm currently married, having been with my husband for some 20 years. About 6 years ago, I found evidence of my husband cheating on me and he admitted it. Mind you, I'd suspected for years (the wife always knows, right?!). He'd been unfaithful to me with numerous prostitutes. I was very hurt and wanted a divorce, but he never agreed to it. I have to say, with hindsight, that I'm partially to blame for his infidelity (very long story but let's just say we used to fight like cats and dogs), but it still hurt. We sought counselling; but it didn't help much and I really really wanted a divorce. When I last brought up the subject of divorce (which was more than a year ago), my husband blew his top!! So I basically just left it. It's been like a giant elephant in the room. To this day, we are still together. But it's been a sex-less relationship for the past 2 years. The irony is that we now get on so much better than before, on a day-to-day basis.
I started dating about a year ago (primarily b/c I couldn't be celibate) and 10 months ago met another man. Well, actually, he's much much younger (like 20+ years younger). When I first met him, I was instantly attracted to him; but never thought it could be anything other than "just a bit of fun". Well, fast forward 10 months later and I'm head-over-heels in love with this man. The amazing thing is that I KNOW that he's also in love with me and wants us to be together, 100% on a permanent basis. Again, I still live with my husband but my lover/ boyfriend is now giving me an ultimatum and insisting that I get a divorce, or else I won't "ever see him again". He says, and I agree, that it's disrespectful - to both my husband and to him - that I can be with two men at the same time.
Again, I'm in love with this younger man but I still love my husband. I've never been IN LOVE with my husband but have loved/ still love him. How do I throw away 20 years?! He's kind to me and my family & friends, is a good provider and intellectually we are on the same wave length. The younger man and I are not compatible intellectually; but OMG, I'm soooooo crazy about him. The chemistry is...just..out of this world!! And he also loves me soooooo much, he says he'd rather be with me than have children in the future (to which I say he'll change his mind in 5-10 yrs time and that I want him to eventually get married and have a family of his own). But I can't imagine my life without him!! He's amazing, is 100% faithful (I just know), even though he's reeaaaally hot, is kind and funny and he makes me laugh, even if his sense of humor is a bit silly at times. Buuuut how do I leave my husband?!! Incidentally, I don't think my husband is with anyone at the moment and am fairly certain he no longer visits prostitutes, if that matters.
So, what do I do?! Please help!! !!
I'm a long time poster, but would like to remain anonymous for this thread, and would like to seek your help and opinions regarding a personal matter.
I'm currently married, having been with my husband for some 20 years. About 6 years ago, I found evidence of my husband cheating on me and he admitted it. Mind you, I'd suspected for years (the wife always knows, right?!). He'd been unfaithful to me with numerous prostitutes. I was very hurt and wanted a divorce, but he never agreed to it. I have to say, with hindsight, that I'm partially to blame for his infidelity (very long story but let's just say we used to fight like cats and dogs), but it still hurt. We sought counselling; but it didn't help much and I really really wanted a divorce. When I last brought up the subject of divorce (which was more than a year ago), my husband blew his top!! So I basically just left it. It's been like a giant elephant in the room. To this day, we are still together. But it's been a sex-less relationship for the past 2 years. The irony is that we now get on so much better than before, on a day-to-day basis.
I started dating about a year ago (primarily b/c I couldn't be celibate) and 10 months ago met another man. Well, actually, he's much much younger (like 20+ years younger). When I first met him, I was instantly attracted to him; but never thought it could be anything other than "just a bit of fun". Well, fast forward 10 months later and I'm head-over-heels in love with this man. The amazing thing is that I KNOW that he's also in love with me and wants us to be together, 100% on a permanent basis. Again, I still live with my husband but my lover/ boyfriend is now giving me an ultimatum and insisting that I get a divorce, or else I won't "ever see him again". He says, and I agree, that it's disrespectful - to both my husband and to him - that I can be with two men at the same time.
Again, I'm in love with this younger man but I still love my husband. I've never been IN LOVE with my husband but have loved/ still love him. How do I throw away 20 years?! He's kind to me and my family & friends, is a good provider and intellectually we are on the same wave length. The younger man and I are not compatible intellectually; but OMG, I'm soooooo crazy about him. The chemistry is...just..out of this world!! And he also loves me soooooo much, he says he'd rather be with me than have children in the future (to which I say he'll change his mind in 5-10 yrs time and that I want him to eventually get married and have a family of his own). But I can't imagine my life without him!! He's amazing, is 100% faithful (I just know), even though he's reeaaaally hot, is kind and funny and he makes me laugh, even if his sense of humor is a bit silly at times. Buuuut how do I leave my husband?!! Incidentally, I don't think my husband is with anyone at the moment and am fairly certain he no longer visits prostitutes, if that matters.
So, what do I do?! Please help!! !!