Gearing up for sorority rush week

[Upgradable]

My daughter leaves (okay, only 8 miles away) for college next week. She is going through University of Oklahoma's formal greek recruitment which begins on Thursday.

I pledged when at college (Tri Delta), but it was a small private college that only had three chapters to choose from. I am wrung out trying to help her figure out the process, working on getting personal references for her, and (stick a fork in my eye) planning wardrobe.

I don't think either of us knew what we were getting into. I certainly am not pushing her into this, in fact I'm a bit surprised she wanted to do this since she is a very strong young woman with solid convictions. She's never going to be molded to fit into a certain mold. I'm going through all of this so she has a smoother and more enjoyable time trying to find if there is a comfortable place for her.

If our kids only knew what we did on their behalf!

 

[pinkjewel]

Hey Uppy- I'm a Tri Delt,too!! Pledged at Vanderbilt many, many years ago.

 

[justginger]

Yes, mothers definitely hoe some tough patches for their kids, there's no doubt about that. My sorority experience was like yours, in the sense that I was on a small campus and had 4 chapters to choose from - and almost NO ONE was flat out rejected. However I had high school friends who went to large state universities and they hated rush. They felt insecure and picked over, like the last kid on the playground to be chosen for a team...and many didn't get into any houses at all. I hope your daughter enjoys rush as much as I remember and she handles the tests to her self-confidence well.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

I never understood the American Greek system. What, exactly, is it? All I know is the frat house stereotypes from movies and I am not sure that is quite accurate, specially if our classy PS ladies have been involved.

And what does wardrobe have to do with it?

 

[Haven]

There was an article in the paper last month about women who help future rushees prepare. Maybe there are similar ladies near you, Uppy.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/22/e...tudents-for-sorority-rush.html?pagewanted=all

I went to a big university with a huge Greek system, but it just wasn't my type of thing so I was a GDI.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Wow. That is pretty amazing.

 

[Amys Bling]

Hey Uppy- I'm a Tri Delt,too!! Pledged at Vanderbilt many, many years ago.

I

My sis is tri felt as well- Cornell.

 

[justginger]

LD, my sorority experience was very different to what that article outlines, so campus size must greatly impact Greek life. Our rush was so laid back in comparison - members of our house would have likely laughed at "professional preparation." Our clothing wasn't over thought, designer labels unnecessary. You did need to be classy, engaging, friendly. Someone that 70 other women would like to live with.

As for the whole system? These organizations arose many years ago, mostly in the 1800s, as societies. Interest in music, art, philanthropy, literature, etc saw groups of men and women form clubs. Traditions and rituals developed, many formed alliances with other houses on the same campus. It is a house full of people you alternatively love and tolerate, motivate, support, and work with. Depending on the house, there is an emphasis on academics, leadership, community involvement, and philanthropy (each house associates with a charity, mine was the Coalition Against Rape and Domestic Violence). Sure there is gossip and pettiness, but on the whole I found myself growing into a better woman through my sorority experiences. Plus we had a lot of fun along the way!

 

[princesss]

Haven, I just read that article a few weeks ago, and a friend of mine who rushed at Alabama was talking about it with me - she says that for rushes at big universities in the South, a service like that actually makes a little bit of sense. It totally floored me. I went to a small public college with a campus policy that any group that wanted to be recognized by the university had to be all-inclusive. We had one "unofficial" frat, but it was kind of a joke. I am constantly amazed when people start telling me what rushing was like. Wear certain dresses, get your outfit checked every night, behave yourself at parties (this was what I found the weirdest - apparently before official rush began, you'd be invited to frat parties with sisters of a sorority you were hoping to pledge. They'd take you out and disguise it like just a fun night, but they'd take notes on how you behaved, and if you didn't behave yourself properly, you were blacklisted from that house)...it's so much about playing the game to get in. One girl I know talked about rush from the other side and not realizing all the rules the girls in the houses go through, too! She said during rush they were only allowed to poop in one bathroom in the house. A house full of girls, one poopable bathroom. No. Thank. You.

 

[Cind11]

My oldest daughter pledged a sorority two years ago and my youngest who will be a freshman will be going through rush at the end of September. We do not live in the South, so I am not quite sure how things work "down there". My oldest daughter did not need any references (references are only provided if you are a legacy) when she went through. Is that really necessary where your daughter will be going? My daughter ended up pledging the sorority where she felt most comfortable and has been happy with her decision. As far as clothes, I think the only thing we ended up buying was a "cocktail" type dress for one of the nights. (we found a black dress that was inexpensive) One day they literally only need to have a white t-shirt and jeans and another they wear a casual dress. I think you should tell her daughter to do what makes her feel at ease and happy. If she goes through rush and doesn't like any of the houses then don't pledge. Simple as that. My oldest daughter has friends in her sorority and friends who are not Greek. And she likes it that way. Hope your daughter has a good experience!

 

[amc80]

I went to a huge party school (UCSB). The Greek system was pretty big, but it seems like they kept to themselves. You were either part of it or you weren't. I wasn't.

 

[Rhea]

That article was an eye opener! I went to a very small university with no sororities. It sounds stressful. It sounds like you must always be exactly aware of what you are doing because you're constantly being judged. Someone described not getting into a particular house as being like going through a break-up. I'm sure it's worth it to those who go through it - hell, you'd have to say that it was, wouldn't you? - but it sounds unnecessarily stressful.

Best of luck to your daughter, Uppy! I hope that she isn't too judged or picked over. I'm sure that she'll appreciate your support.