Future Inlaws and my stupid mouth

[firstbase32]

Hey guys...just needed a place to vent a little frustration and get some feedback if I was in the wrong......

My fiancee''s parents are paying for our invitations but they said they coudln''t order them until the beginning of February. Our wedding is in May and my fiancee and I would both like to have more time just incase something happens with the printer or what not. I volunteered to pay for them now as long as the begining of Feb. came they paid me back so that I could make the final payment on our honeymoon. Her parents couldn''t understand why we wanted to do it now and so my fiancee got really frustrated and hung up on her parents. I was trying to work through why her parents couldn''t understand and were just making everything frustrating. They always seem to make EVERYTHING stressful by making the circumstances worse then they already are. My parents are much more laid back and go with the flow and so I made the comment..."this is why i like my parents way of doing things better.." before I even finished the statement my fiancee was out of my truck and walking away because I had made that statement. We went into the tux place and got all the tux stuff sorted out for my groomsmen and she acted fine but hte moment she left she refused to talk to me and gave me the cold shoulder all the way home......i don''t think I did anything wrong I was just expressing my frustration..what do you guys think? Kind of reminds me of that John Meyer song "My Stupid Mouth"

 

[poptart]

Perhaps she didn''t like the comparison you were making between your parents and hers. My DH has said similar things in the past, not in regard to parents, and I react the EXACT same way. She was probably frustrated with her parents to begin with, and so perhaps the statement was the proverbial "last straw". It makes sense to me why she acted that way, but honestly, just apologize (even though you didn''t really do anything wrong per se) and ask her why saying that made her mad. Just remember that planning a wedding is stressful for both the bride and the groom, and each handles that stress differently. But I wouldn''t worry too much about what happened, just make sure that she really tells you what bothered her about it so this type of thing doesn''t get repeated.

*M*

 

[firstbase32]

yea i understand...as a part of our premarital counseling our schools assistant chaplain helped her express to me that sometimes when we fight she just needs her time to think through the issue or whatever is bothering her and most of the time in the end she''ll realize it''s something stupid or that she shouldn''t have gotten upset...so I just let her be silent and tried getting her to talk about other stuff like dinner tonight and such and now she''s in her apartment probably talking to her girlfriends about it. I''m more of a "let''s get this problem solved and over" kind of guy and she wants to think things through...so right now is her time to do that.

 

[kimberlina13]

Ouch! I agree with everything Poptart said. Also, it could just be a case of, I can complain about my family, but you''d better not. Which happens a lot with my fiance and myself. I''d say, whenever she starts to get stressed out, it''s just easier to say that you''re sorry that she''s stressed...IMHO! But yeah, no big worries, she was just stressed and you happened to get caught in the cross fire. You could have said the sky is blue and still caught crap.

 

[KimberlyH]

Never compare your familiy to hers, they aren''t the same people and your expectation should not be that they behave in a similar fashion. Nothing wrong with wanting to work out the invitation situation so you don''t have to wait, but tit for tat (my family is better/does things better than yours) is just not a good way to start out a marriage.

I am like your fiance, I need to think before I can work things out, but I don''t ever discuss things with my girlfriends, I just need time alone to process.

Tell her your sorry and move on.

 

[firstbase32]

We talked things out....it ended up what really ticked her off was that usually I am the calm on and can calm her down and today she was just so stressed out and I had had enough too and in her words I was feeding the fire of her stress by talking about what her parents were doing when she just wanted me to calm her down....so now I know I need to work on watching out for this kind of reaction for her....so things are MUCH better

 

[poptart]

Yay! I''m glad you worked it out!

*M*

 

[bee*]

glad things are better! I know exactly how you feel though-D''s parents make a lot of things very stressful when they dont need to be, while my parents are extremely easy going and relaxed. It can be very frustrating sometimes, but unfortunately not much you can do about it if you want to stay in their goodbooks!