Funny Stories

[wcitygirl]

OK, so this can be sort of a tense time for us girls -- waiting, AND waiting. But, I''m sure funny stuff has happened along the way. SO, I was thinking maybe we should post funny stories?? At least we can laugh at ourselves? What do you think? Well, I''ll post my funny story! I was mortified!

SO, Bf decides that last week we would go and look at potential Christmas presents (it''s a long story -- there was a death in the family around Christmas, so Christmas was delayed). Naturally, he takes me to a jewelry store (its easy for him). We went to Tiffany''s and a local jewelry store. I was having a difficult time telling him what I wanted (namely diamond earrings) and so I was hemming and hawwing. But, I had told him I wanted either a silver signet ring to wear everyday or earrings I could wear everyday. So, we just went into some random jewelry store -- Bailey, Banks and Biddle, maybe? So, we''re browsing and he walks over to a case of e-rings (now, this whole time, I was watching him out of the corner of my eye to see if he was looking at engagement rings OF COURSE) and he asks -- "do you like these rings?" I was shocked because I thought that he DIDNT want to shop together and wanted it to be a complete surprise. After recovering, I started to tell him that I liked one of them because it had the beautiful pave setting and all of a sudden, he says in a loud and incredulous voice: "OHMYGOD, these are WEDDING RINGS." So, I tried to save face and say: WELL, you ASKED my opinion and I was GIVING it to you. I wanted to hold my hand up and say to the people in the store: "Don''t worry, we are DEFINITELY NOT looking at engagement rings -- farthest thing from our minds." because they were starting to stare. I hope they didn''t think that I had tried to trick Bf into coming into a jewelry store to look at e-rings?

Bf later profusely apologized and said he didn''t mean it like *that* -- he said that when he first walked over to the e-rings, he was looking at the bands and thought they were just silver rings.

I was *this* close to shopping!!! Hahahahaha. Oh well!

 

[Blue824]

So, this doesnt have anything to do with engagement, but ok...my bf and I met in DC away at school, so we didn''t have much interaction with each other''s parents. After we had been dating just over a year, I visited his home over New Years. I stayed on the top floor (we weren''t allowed to share a room, but I think I''d have felt weird even if they were ok with it back then), his parents were on the main floor and his room was on the bottom level. It was nice having the top floor to myself which had 2 bedrooms, one bathroom and this main open sitting room with at TV in it. Anyway, that first night I set an alarm to wake me up in the AM but ended up waking much earlier than it was to go off, so I went to take a shower. When I got out I heard a really loud radio noise and was like ahk! that''s my alarm! and i didnt want to wake anyone up so I grabbed a towel covering barely anything, really just maybe a little bit of my front and ran out to my room to shut it off....only to find that it wasn''t my alarm, but it was his mom watching TV on the upstairs so I completely flashed/mooned her and I had only known her for ooooh...about 24 hours

It really doesnt sound as funny as I read it over as I typed it, but oooh, it was mortifying!

 

[Erin]

It''s funny how I can almost hear his tone of shock and dismay!

Not REALLY along the same lines but as you all know I have been waiting a looooong time for my ring and I had to finally correct my bf''s little phrase he always says - but he didn''t know he was doing it.

Everytime we''d get off the phone with each other - typically during work hours - he''d say....Okay, babe I''ll give you a ring later.

Of course I''ve been PSing for a few months so I immediately think...

Yeah, sure you will - what do you mean by later? boy soon or girl soon? What are you wating for Christmas? 2005?

Instead I just okay, love you, bye. It was driving me insane!

 

[palmbaybabe]

BLUE824 - Too funny! I needed a good laugh thanks. I''m laughing with you, not at you

 

[goldengirl]

lol@ you girls... the best one that comes to mind for me is the time he comes out into the living room, says "Babe, close your eyes," takes me by the hand and leads me into the bedroom... I can feel him getting down on one knee... my heart starts pounding... and he pulls my hand down to the floor to touch something gross. LOLOL!!

I still haven''t told him why I was laughing so hard all night, I''m waiting for him to propose because then he can''t accuse me of having it on the brain!

 

[blueroses]

GG, ever since you told that the first time I''ve been wondering what exactly he made you touch!! (I mean, you have a dog too, so I''ve imagined a few possibilities)

 

[goldengirl]

Heh... heh... I dunno if I can say it here.. um... it was on the floor in the BEDroom. And it didn''t come from my dog.

 

[MelissaSue]

ohhhh.. GG! That is JUST MEAN MEAN MEAN of him to put your hand in THAT!

 

[blueroses]

ewewewewew!!!!

( I guess the real question is how long the said, em, item, er, substance, er, SOMETHING GROSS, had been there??....kind of makes a difference in terms of gross vs. grosser!!)

 

[blue_chica]

GG - Are you kidding?!?!?! Please to me you''re kidding.

wcitygirl - That is hilarious. I can so picture my BF doing that, he''s sooooooooo clueless about jewelry sometimes. We were in tiffany''s one time (I like to go in, spin and inhale the platinum particles) and I pointed out how gorgeous a platinum & diamond "lace" necklace was - he asked if it was something I''d like, perhaps for our anniversary. I told him it was probably close to 25k, and he was like, oh, I thought it''d be maybe $750. Riiiiiiight.

My story is actually about an ex-boyfriend and his family. The very first time I met them we stayed at their house for the weekend. My ex and I slept upstairs in his old room. There are stairs that go down to the main floor with a door at the bottom of them, and the door opens onto the hallway right next to his parents room, and right across from a bathroom. When we got there they told us that the toilet upstairs was not working, so use the bathroom downstairs, which is directly below the upstairs one. I woke up the next morning and went downstairs to use the shower wrapped in a towel. Just as I opened the stairs door, his mother came out of her room and saw me. I was a bit embarrassed to be parading down the stairs in nothing but a towel, but all she said was "Oh hon, you didn''t bring a robe, let me get you one. She does, it''s a beautiful silk kimono style robe. I go in the bathroom, take a shower, get out, put on the robe and start brushing my teeth.

All of sudden I feel a drip on my face. I look up and there''s liquid dripping from the ceiling, it hits me in the face, on the robe, gets in my eye. I cover my head and start backing away. Then I hear my ex stampede down the stairs yelling that the toilet is overflowing, he forgot not to use it, and then I realize what is dripping on my face and his mother''s robe. I freak out, throw the toothbrush, run out of the bathroom because the ceiling is dripping everywhere. Then I basically tear off the robe which is sticking to my skin because it''s wet, running up the stairs as I do so. All in full view of him, his mother, his father, and their f*cking dog.

Needless to say, in the long run it''s great that relationship didn''t work out, can you imagine the toasts at the wedding?

 

[Blue824]

Ewwwwwwwwwww, I totally had my suspicions that that''s what it was, but still, EWW!! I think you will need to get him back for that some how!

 

[goldengirl]

EWWWWWWWWWWWW Blue Chica, I guess it IS good it didn''t work out!!

And for blueroses, we had been, um, the night before, and apparently missed it during cleanup (understandable, right, because it''s on the FLOOR and we don''t usually look there!!) and so the next night he found it all crusted over and EUW and that was when he did it.

I think I thought I was sooooo funny because.. c''mon... it''s like, the exact OPPOSITE of what I was expecting!!

 

[velouriaL]

Okay, so, I haven''t really posted in here before, but I wanted to tell a story---

I thought of a funny story... It''s a little bit bizarre, so be cautious, gentle reader.

One day, A. and I were hanging out in his old bedroom at his parents house. He goes into the closet to get a sweater, but turns around instead and starts attacking me with this gross, scary THING. (I found out later that it''s actually a rubber foetus that he and his friends stole from their science teacher in 9th grade.) For some reason, it startled me so much, I couldn''t even catch my breath...

A few months pass, and it''s my birthday. He gives me lots of presents, all individually wrapped. The last one was in a big box, and when I open it up, what do I see... but the foetus! I was dressed up in diapers and a little hat and looked even more bizarre than it had the first time. I found out that his mother, of all people, had the idea to dress it up and thought it was SO hilarious... Silly ol'' Ma! Instead of freaking out, I graciously accept the gift and display it proudly in my room... mostly to keep him from ever attacking me with it again, and to show that I was not going to be intimidated by a rubber foetus! I have definitely gotten a few, "WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING?" from visitors who''ve come into my room.

Even funnier, one day we came home and my chihuahua, Cooper, was cuddling with Cletus (as I have so affectionately named the foetus). They were both about the same size and were both light brown in color and had disproportionately heads-- anyway, it was a funny image.

I just hope that the nasty thing doesn''t somehow find its way into my proposal....

 

[goldengirl]

LOLOLOL!!!!

What is UP with boys and the ICK factor?!?! Ten bucks says you see it in your proposal if you don''t hide it right now!!

 

[jenwill]

Too funny that you call it Cletus, that is what my friend G was calling her baby when she was preggo. They didn''t want to knwo the sex of the baby, but were sure it was a boy, and just thought Cletus was funny. So now Baby Girl has a nickname to live down.

 

[blue_chica]

That foetus story is one of the funniest I''ve heard in a long time...priceless!

 

[psuheather]

Hi everyone...I have been MIA from PS for a loooong time for lots of different reasons. I was so surprised to find that ladies in waiting now have their own forum!!! Ok, here''s my funny story (I can only call it funny now because it happened years ago--at the time it was MORTIFYING)....

I have been dating my boyfriend on and off for about 10 years. We broke up twice in college and didn''t speak to each other for about a year each time. During one of these breakups, I went out one night with my friends and , in the spirit of college, got absolutely plastered. After all, wasn''t the point of drinking in college to get to the point of blackout??? (I don''t know how I did it back then...) Anyway, I get home and decide in my extremely inebriatated state that I needed to drunk dial my then-ex- boyfriend. Keep in mind that this has all been relayed to me by others as I have no recollection of this night (blackout, remember?) Well, I had my ex''s phone number programmed into my cell phone, so I went to the phone book and scrolled down to his number. Of course, I can barely even see the names since my field of vision is completely swirling, and I end of dialing his PARENT''S phone number instead of his cell phone! There are so many things mortifying about this situation...for one, remember, my bf and I have been broken up and haven''t spoken for months, it''s 3 o''clock in the morning, I am so drunk that I am barely uttering intelligable words, and my bf''s parents are proper, Southern folk. My bf''s father answers the phone, and from what I''ve been told, after he tells me that it''s not my ex on the phone but his father I repeatedly tell him that it''s not really him because Doug (my bf''s father''s first name which I STILL don''t call him by to this day) is my best friend and I know his voice. THEN, my bf''s mother gets on the phone and asks to speak to one of my friends because she''s worried and thinks that someone needs to take me to the hospital, to which I reply in extremely slurred speech "I don''t need to go the the hospital, Susan" (again, still do not call her by her first name!)

Just to give you an idea of what my state must have been like that night, I woke up the next morning in my bed (miraculously) completely covered in vomit with various piles of vomit on my floor and in my bed. I felt like someone was drilling a hole in my skull and couldn''t even get out of bed all day. I didn''t even know about the events from the previous night until my bf, who I hadn''t spoken to in four months, called me to make sure that I was ok. I was confused about why he was calling until he relayed the whole mortifying phone call to me. My bf and I have been back together for about four years now and I have been guaranteed that I will never live that down. Every time that I see my bf''s dad he gives me a big hug and says that it''s great to see his best friend!

 

[blueroses]

Omigod, velouriaL, Cletus the Fetus!!! LOL

PSUHeather, nice to have you back!!! And OH MY. You poor thing--that is so hilarious and so totally mortifying. You KNOW that''s going to kick off your rehearsal dinner toasts!! My bf''s parents are the same way--after 8 years, they are still Mr. and Mrs. to me and oh my god, I think I would die if I''d been in your shoes. Glad it''s all ok and funny now!!!

 

[wcitygirl]

OMG! You guys! This is so fun! I love funny stories!!

Blue824 -- I could absolutely see myself doing that since I''m so spacey when I''ve just woken up! How embarassing!

Erin -- That would have driven me CRAZY!!!

GG -- That is just hilarious. So, SO opposite of what you were expecting! Hahahahaha.

Blue Chica -- Yes, my boyfriend is DEFINITELY clueless -- "You mean rings come in preset sizes?" umm, yes, honey. That''s an awful story!!! I would die if my bf family saw me naked, covered in goodness-knows-what.

Cletus the Fetus!!! I''m going to name my baby that when I end up having kids!!!! Hahahahaa.

PSU -- I can''t even believe the awful drunked moments from college that I experienced. You aren''t alone. At least his dad has a great sense of humor about it!!! Hahahahaha.

Follow up to the ring shopping story:

So, bf calls me today and asks what kind of story I told his aunt, who is like his mom since his mom died. I thought about it and I couldn''t remember telling her anything.... She had said something about "Offender of Women Everywhere." BUT, I had told that story to his sister (we share secrets) and she must have told her aunt. Well, the funny thing was that I had created a "Superhero Persona" for my boyfriend and told the story like a comic book would: Captain Rock Tease, Offender of Women Everywhere. (He''s a Cpt in the army, so it''s especially appropriate.) I hope his aunt didn''t tell him!!!! Hehehehe. Either way, no harm done -- he''s used to my "creativity."

 

[heartsonfire]

You girls crack me up

There is something I want to share you ladies... OK don''t know if this should be rather funny or bizarre.
The very first time bf took me to look at an ering was in BB&B about a 1 1/4 year ago... he said he wanted to look at the watches.
OK so I followed him (well I didn''t think anything about it since we went into another jeweler that day... and looked at some watches). My eyes where just criss crossing all over the place (there were some nice really bling

)... and I was hoping he didn''t notice me feeling uncomfortable. At that moment I hoped he wouldn''t want to look at erings... I didn''t know how to react to be very honest. My hands started to sweat... I feel chills... I look for the watch section... I don''t see him... I look around... there he is at the ering section. OMG what now

... I didn''t have much knowledge about diamonds back then

... just knew I like the cushion cut... bf didn''t really know what that is... the salesman shows us a princess cut... bf asks me to try it on... I was just uh ok... for some reason I couldn''t wear it on my left hand. I was just overwhelmed... never been ering window shopping before. We stayed for a bit... tried on some RBs to compare... both talk about the 4 Cs... and I just couldn''t take it any longer and exit the store. Bf asked me why I left... I said I felt uncomfortable coz he caught me off guard.

Almost 6 months passed... he came to visit me in London... we looked at erings at Tiffany''s (at Harrods... fell inlove with the legacy ring), David Morris (fell inlove with the oval cut micro pave around the diamond and band) and Graff (fell inlove with micro pave band with cushion cut). The prices where just over the top. But I felt much better then coz I knew we will look at rings. Another 6 moths later back in the US we wanted to have another look at the legacy ring... so we decided to go to Tiffany''s... a saleslady comes forward... bf didn''t like her she was really snotty... and bf doesn''t like the legacy anymore

... for some reason my nose started to run (so I get a tissue to dry my nose but it wouldn''t stop)... bf asked me what was wrong (he thought I was intimidated by that snot... oh please)... but I didn''t know what was wrong with my nose. So we leave this place, but I really wanted to look at some more. Shortly after, we see another BB&B... the saleslady was really nice and helpful... both of us fall inlove with the Endless Love RB Micro Pave Ritani set

. By the way my nose was fine at this point, as if nothing every happened.

Two weeks later we visit Shreve Crump & Low... bf wants to look at the watches... so we look. A saleslady came to help us she was nice. Then we looked at the erings... I wanted to look at more antique settings... the same woman started to get snotty... and guess what... my nose starts running again... so here I am with my tissue in my hand (turning around every minute to dry my wet nose) couldn''t enjoy trying the rings on. So we leave again.That same day we went to Longs and another BB&B... in both stores there were friendly salesmen who helped us... and I was fine. I told bf... I came to a conclusion... I guess I am allergic to snotty salesladies... that''s why my nose starts running

. We both started laughing.

 

[blueroses]

I love the superhero!! LOL!!

HOF, that''s actually a good allergy to have--you know who NOT to give your business to!!

I get really motion sick, even with a scapalomine patch and dramamine. And my bf''s family sails. It never fails--every time, no matter the drugs, I puke. Overboard. In front of them all. I did this the first time we sailed with them in ''97 when we''d only been together for like 8 months. Mortifying.

Oh, and that reminds me of another bf-family embarassment. My bf has a little sister, 6 years younger, but that makes her...wow, almost 26 this year

She''s great, but she''s too damn cool for me--like, we get along really well, but we would never have been friends on our own--she''d have been one of those boarding school girls who was way too cool and laid back for me at college. Anyway, the first time I met her EVER she was still in high school--not quite 18. And I reach out to hug her--this is the FIRST TIME I ever have met her and bf and I are newly madly in love with only 4 months together--and I accidentally TOUCH HER BOOB!!!! AAAHHHHH!!! Like, complete stranger, dating your older brother, and WHOOPS, she''s feeling you up. We''ve never discussed it, but I was mortified.

 

[goldengirl]

lolol, blueroses... who here hasn''t accidentally groped someone?!? I''m sure she doesn''t even think of it anymore. But I''m gonna freakin'' DIE laughing if that ends up in a toast at your reception.

heather... omg, that''s awesome. Could have been worse, right? ...you coulda been drunk-dialing a booty call!!!

 

[jenwill]

Yikes- I hate the accidental grope! So embarrassing....

Blue Roses...try eating sugared ginger starting 1/2 hour before your sailing trips and occasionally during the sailing...one of my patients swears by it. She gets very seasick, and nothing worked until finally her neighbor (who is chinese herbalist) told her about sugared ginger. She says it works like a charm.

 

[palmbaybabe]

GG - oh my how i laughed after i read what was actually on the floor!!! I remember reading about that before and just thinking it was animal related!!!

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!