Cehrabehra
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2006
- Messages
- 11,071
ugggghhhhh I spent about 30 minutes crying in the principal''s office today.... my middle son''s teacher just snapped (mildly, but still) and it just hit me all wrong. Things did not go well at the beginning of the year... I tried to ''warn'' his first teacher about him and she had NOTHING but negative things to say even on the first day of school (he''s in 2nd grade) over things that are just... like not being silent in line in the halls - the school is very militant and we spent the first 7 years of ''my'' elementary education at a different school with a very mellow and warm and personable principal who led a very open and dynamic school. anyway.... after 3 days the teacher rejected him and moved him to another class and he was so bummed and there were reasons other than he, but let''s just assume my child is a horrible awful child that no teacher would ever want. So he was moved into Mrs. S''s class and slowly things got better.... communication began to open up and improve and finally a couple weeks ago I let her know I was available to volunteer (at the old school I was there 1-2 days a week and very active in different groups etc. but at this school the start of the year was so horrible I avoided entering the school at all costs for much of the year). So I''ve been there all of twice and both times she''s given me over 2 hours worth of laminating/cutting busy work to do in the work room and I''ve done it well and she''s heaped the praise etc. Well, they''re doing this major project/speech thing and I had some questions about it so I wrote her a note yesterday and asked her to call me and she never did. So I went today, she handed me 2 hours worth of work and I mention to her that I need to talk to her about his presentation (he has some video) and so she comes to me after I''ve worked about an hour and we talk for maybe 3 minutes and she goes.... and I stay after school is out to finish the work and I go to her classroom, drop it off and have my son get his backpack and then we''re walking up to the front to go to the bookfair and we happen to pass in the hall and stop to talk for just a second that I put them on her desk etc. and she mentions something and I mention something and within about 15 seconds we''re talking about my son''s math and his timed tests and we obviously disagree about an issue and I start to say that we can discuss it later and she says to me that if I am just going to come to volunteer at the school on tuesdays so I can corner her and chastize her about how she is handling his math then this just isn''t going to work out at all. I was FLOORED! First of all I don''t come there to spent over 2 hours so I can corner her in the freaking hallway for a 2 minute chastize. Pffft. I''d do that for free after school without coming in at all @@ So I looked at her and said "we don''t need to talk about this now, and if you prefer we don''t need to talk about this at all" and she said okay, sounds good. I was floored AGAIN! What the hell? You don''t tell a parent you don''t wish to discuss their child''s work. You say I can''t NOW but geeeez. So she looked at me and said "what are you going to do?" and I said, well apparently I am going to end this conversation and she said okay and walked away. I was floored yet AGAIN. Now.... normally I would write a pissed off letter and give her a piece or two of my mind, but a) this school has me COWED and my boys want to go there because it is so close and all it does is bring back the most horrible ADHD traumas of my own youth and I hate the school. I just do. I have tried to love it and be understanding and kind but this was just over the top. Now, the kicker. My son''s teacher''s father is actively dying of uncurable cancer that was just found out about in the last month and he lives very far away and she can''t be with him until the end of the year and I know she''s trying to keep a strong face and I know she''s battling a lot of pain and I really want to tell myself that she has other things going on and her reaction was just one of being frustrated and overwhelmed and maybe even feeling *safe* with me to push me like that because we really have gotten very friendly (we had a really nice talk about losing parents last week) and she just couldn''t take the time or emotional space to have a disagreement over "timed tests" in math even if I was saying we could discuss it later. So I am telling myself that she has her issues and how she spoke to me was so ridiculous it must be something she''s feeling that doesn''t even involve me. But on the other hand there is how I feel and I feel absolutely shoved once again out of my son''s educational space and rejected by someone I thought I had a working or even good rapport with. The mama in me feels so strongly that this environment is way too militant for my middle child and he will always feel not good enough. But he wants to be there, its a block away and he likes that the playground is covered LOL i''m just frustrated. I don''t mind people being grumpy with me if I can confront it, work through it, and emerge with inside jokes or at least a good laugh... but I don''t feel like I can confront her and yet I feel like if I don''t the next 6 weeks of school are going to be painful at best. I mean I don''t want to go to conferences on thursday - and if I go how the hell can I smile at her and play nothing''s wrong? I hate phoneyness (sp?) more than just about anything else in people and yet sometimes its all you can do in yourself to get through something. I just don''t know what to do. I want to write her a note that just says:
Mrs. S,
I wanted to let you know that I feel incredibly hurt by the comments you made to me in the hallway today. It has never been my motivation to help you for over 2 hours at the school just so I can corner you and chastize you for 2 minutes in the hallway after school. In order to avoid any discomfort, I will not be volunteering in your classroom for the duration of the year and I will refrain from discussing anything regarding Bxxxxxx''s education outside of his IEP meeting in 2 weeks. I understand that you have more pressing issues that you are dealing with right now and I don''t wish to add to this for you, so I am not expecting any conflict resolution regarding this. But I also needed to make clear to you how I feel. I wish you the best, and I mean that sincerely. May you find peace and strength in the coming months, as you know that is my wish for you.
Sara
I hope it doesn''t sound patronizing - I sincerely wish the best for her but I''m still on the verge of tears and I just feel so hurt and rejected and OFFENDED by what she said. Ugh. Thoughts? Be gentle please...
Mrs. S,
I wanted to let you know that I feel incredibly hurt by the comments you made to me in the hallway today. It has never been my motivation to help you for over 2 hours at the school just so I can corner you and chastize you for 2 minutes in the hallway after school. In order to avoid any discomfort, I will not be volunteering in your classroom for the duration of the year and I will refrain from discussing anything regarding Bxxxxxx''s education outside of his IEP meeting in 2 weeks. I understand that you have more pressing issues that you are dealing with right now and I don''t wish to add to this for you, so I am not expecting any conflict resolution regarding this. But I also needed to make clear to you how I feel. I wish you the best, and I mean that sincerely. May you find peace and strength in the coming months, as you know that is my wish for you.
Sara
I hope it doesn''t sound patronizing - I sincerely wish the best for her but I''m still on the verge of tears and I just feel so hurt and rejected and OFFENDED by what she said. Ugh. Thoughts? Be gentle please...