Frustrated with myself!

[Lofi]

Ladies...

I have officially realized that... I am a control freak. And as much as I love PS, I dont'' know that it has helped much with this diamond/engagement ring process!! The information here is ENDLESS, and I keep feeling the need to update my bf on my important learnings from here and to send him suggestions of stones from online! He desperately wants it to be a surprise, so he could even HAVE the stone chosen already for all I know! Yet I continue to feed him information about what to look for and what''s most important... yada, yada, yada.

I just wish he would let me be a part of the process... Sigh...

Hopefully I''m not alone... Lol... Because I''m beginning to think I''ve got problems.

~L

 

[TooPatient]

Not alone.

Mine finally decided to let me pick the stones, setting, jeweler, etc.
He picks the time to purchase stuff. I inspect. He gets to give it to me (not too long of a wait I hope) -- except I gave pretty specific hints at this part too.

 

[Callisto]

Definitely not alone.

I do feel bad sometimes that I''ve become so much pickier about what I want in an e-ring and that he knows the bar has been raised considerably which makes him feel like he''s doomed to fail (which he''s not I''ll love my ring regardless).

But at the same time I''m so grateful to finally feel like I KNOW what I want and I''m making such a more informed decision. I''m trying to find ways to be involved but still let him do a lot of the work. I think I might let him make the final decision on the setting assuming we look at LOTS of things together and I feel like he has a really strong hold on what I like.

Idk sometimes I feel bad since I know this isn''t the most tradional way but then again the idea of him spending thousands of dollars on a gift for me without my input is INSANE to me. I would never spend that kind of money without being 150% sure I was getting EXACTLY what he wanted. So for him to want to do that for me just doesn''t feel right.

I''m hoping that when we get a little bit closer to actually buying (in a few months) he''ll want to know more about diamonds and I won''t just be yapping at him.

Don''t worry your feelings are justified. Its a huge purchase and you want input, thats completely respectable.

 

[TooPatient]

Besides, we all spend so much time thinking about it. Looking, reading, researching, touching, dreaming... if he went out and just bought something he''d stand no chance.
At some point the excitement and relief and more excitement would wear off and I know that I would be thinking about what I didn''t get. How it could have been bigger/smaller/clearer/etc.

Not really fair to him. Especially with the cost of this stuff. We owe it to him to be involved.

 

[Lofi]

Date: 9/3/2009 4:15:54 PM
Author: TooPatient
Besides, we all spend so much time thinking about it. Looking, reading, researching, touching, dreaming... if he went out and just bought something he''d stand no chance.
At some point the excitement and relief and more excitement would wear off and I know that I would be thinking about what I didn''t get. How it could have been bigger/smaller/clearer/etc.

Not really fair to him. Especially with the cost of this stuff. We owe it to him to be involved.

So true! Love your responses so far ... They are making me feel better about my thought process. It''s way too expensive not to informed about the decision, in my opinion. I just wish I could be in the chair next to him looking at the diamonds, weighing the options and deciding on "the one" TOGETHER. How can I make him see that it could be such a fun process!!??