ljmorgan
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2006
- Messages
- 1,037
I am dealing with something that has me totally confounded. First, a little background:
I have struggled with eating my entire life, always eating too much or too little. In high school I was overweight and got up to 160 pounds. In college I dropped weight, I wasn''t eating enough, but still dropped to a healthy 120 lbs (I''m 5''1.) Then I had surgery that left me on crutches for a year, and a few years later here I am at 170 pounds.
My issue is this: I have some strange fear of eating within a good calorie range. I consider myself pretty knowledgable about food and nutrition, I can rattle off calories for everything and I understand the necessary parts of good nutrition: protein, carbs, fat, fiber, etc. Logically, I know what constitutes a good, balanced diet. For the past few months I have been trying to get myseld back on the bandwagon, by joining weight watchers and now using sparkpeople to track my calories, in a suggested 1200-1600 range. On both programs, I do fine all day. And then at night, when I see that I''ve only eaten say 1300-1600 calories... I feel panicked. And I want to eat something else. And it''s not because I''m hungry! I can feel perfectly satisfied and still have this feeling. I have no idea what it is, because I know that calorie range is perfectly fine and I will not be starving. And honestly when I''ve lost weight before I was consuming far fewer calories. I honestly do not know what to do. I have been exercising well, but until I get my food under control I am not going to see a big difference.
Does anyone have any insight? I don''t feel this is one of those "I''m afraid to be thin and have men notice me" type of things, I have no childhood trauma, etc. I really have no clue what''s going on. I am just so tired of always thinking about food. What I can eat, what I can''t eat, how much I can eat, where I''m going to eat. How much I''ve gained, how much I''ve lost. I am sick of it! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Also, I cannot believe I just shared all of that!