Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Wedding freaking out about the cost of the wedding....

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
AllieLuv83

AllieLuv83

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 22, 2007
Messages
1,453
I am having a mild...well not so mild freak out about the cost of the wedding. Our original wedding plans were going to happened in a different location in Western Massachusetts. Recently they got moved closer to Boston and the cost has really gotten out of control. It looks like with wedding bands and the honeymoon we will come in somewhere a little under $20,000 for about 115 people. I feel like that seems so crazy! Tell me if I am wrong and that is the going rate for weddings of that size but I am about really to call it a day and run off to vagas.
 
Its quite understandable to get sticker shock when adding up the cost of your wedding! Trust me, I''ve gone through it!!
14.gif


As for your total cost... Wedding bands + Honeymoon + 115 guests? PLUS you live near Boston? On the surface, $20,000 sounds reasonable.

If you subtract your cost of wedding bands, wedding dress, tux and the honeymoon and DIVIDE that by your number of guests, you''ll find out if your wedding is "reasonable". Also, are you having a formal or relaxed wedding? That will heavily determine the average cost per guest.

I think I read somewhere the average cost of a wedding is around $20,000, but there are a lot of variables there as well.

As always, be conscious of your budget, but be sure to focus on the few important items that you feel are most important to your wedding!
 
I had major sticker shock too when I first started planning a wedding for here in So Cal. $20,000 sounds reasonable to me (esp. if you''re including wedding bands and honeymoon).

To put things into perspective, according to CostofWedding.com, couples that live in 02210 (Boston, MA) spend on average $39,589 for their wedding! This does not include cost for a honeymoon or engagement ring.

 
I am totally having sticker shock because I originally planned to only spend about $15,000 FI''s parents have very generously offered to give us $5000 towards wedding costs but I was still hoping to keep to the original budget as much as I could. This might have just been a pipe dream but when I started putting all the costs down on paper I nearly fainted.
 
The average in my area is $34,000 but we are spending about 15. It is a huge amount for one day, but services in the US are expensive and the wedding is a very service based occasion. We simply prioritized. I spent less on the dress, no limo or transportation, have the ceremony and reception at the same place, etc. We wanted a string quartet for the ceremony, which is expensive so we only have them for an hour and then a single classical guitarist for the rest which saved a lot. We are going light on flowers and have very few splurges. In fact, the only really exspensive part, relatively speaking, is the caterer because we got the best in the area.
 
Well I suppose what is really irking me is the fact that we are renting out a mansion and there is a huge cost difference between doing it on a Friday night $2200 to doing it on a Saturday $3500 although either of the days seem like they are expensive. We were originally thinking friday because it was cheaper but it will kinda be a hassle for people especially since most have to travel about 35-40 minutes to get there and it is outside of Boston so traffic will be heavy on a Friday night. It is so sad that I am about to start possibly looking at other venues that are not quite so expensive. Maybe thinking about doing it in April which is considered to be the off season!
 
We saved a lot of money by having it on a Sunday. We did it because that will be the aniversary of when we met, but the venue was cheaper, food was cheaper, photography was cheaper and the officiant we really wanted was not avaliable on any Sats that month.

You just have to decide what is more important to you. The people who really care will be there no matter what, so it is all the others who may not come. If you want a big party with all your friends, probably not good, if you want an intamate gathering of those closest to you, cheaper might be better so you can really treat the ones who matter and do come.
 
People can take a couple of hours off work to get to your wedding if you want to have it on a Friday. It really is no big deal. Sunday is another good option. We had WP2 on a Sunday because the minimum we had to spend for Saturday was several thousand dollars more.

Can you rein in some of the peripheral costs? Fewer flowers (we used feathers and saved a tonne)? Pre-owned or sample dress? DIY invites?

But I think if I were a guest i would totally not mind Friday night.
 
With honeymoon and wedding-bands!

Wow, I wish I could pull that off.

Not counting my dress, FI's morning suit or our rings and honeymoon, I'm coming in at around the $24k mark at the moment for 120 people - and that has meant cutting costs everywhere I can and DIYing a huge amount.

I hate the thought of spending all that money on one day, but I only plan on doing this once, it makes our parents happy and I know I have done everything humanly possible to keep costs down and still pull off a good event.

ETA: The average cost of a wedding in the UK is $48k if that makes you feel any better!
 
The sticker shock is a killer. I wanted a nice wedding but not the price tag and ended up pretty torn about the entire thing. There''s a thread started a few weeks about what people''s budgets were. If you''re really stressing you may find that helpful.
 
Well. I'm in Nor Cal.

WITHOUT the wedding bands and the honeymoon. I'm looking at around 24k. That's for 75 people. And um... doesn't could the uh... dresses OTHER than the one I am wearing the day of. (in denial, plan to stay here, thank you!)
I would totally look at Sunday or Friday. TOTALLY. In fact I am having a Sunday wedding, myself.
 
Thanks everyone. I think we will strongly consider Friday one more time. Sunday is only a $300 difference which I found pretty strange. I know that if I was invited to a wedding on a Friday I would surely attend even if it meant taking a half day or a few hours off from work. Thank you for all of your support gals!
 
I''m right there with you. We had a very similar budget, including everything, bands, honeymoon, jewelry, gifts, etc. Our wedding is slightly bigger, about 160 people, but we are also in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, which is a slightly cheaper area. And so far I think I''ve gone over budget on everything and am also at the freaking out stage. I''ve been looking for bargains on everything, but unless I compromised on quality, for me, it just couldn''t be done any cheaper. I know $20,000 is a big number, but if you can stick to it, I would consider that price pretty fair.
 
I definitely think it''s hard not to worry about the cost of the wedding when you think that it will be over in one day. We set our budget which is just over €21000 so provided we keep to that, D and I are happy. It''s a lot of money but as Pandora said, I only plan on doing this once and it''s making everyone happy, including D and I, so I might as well enjoy it.
 
Allie,

You''re getting married at the E. Estate, right? I just want to make sure I''m thinking of the right venue. I agree with everyone else -- it sounds expensive but actually, it''s not really. You can do certain things yourself or skip things all together (favors, for example), and you can save money that way. I don''t think the price you gave sounds outrageous though.
 
Allie, I think the main issue here isn't what weddings cost in your area, it's what can YOU afford to pay for YOUR wedding. It really doesn't matter what other people are paying, only what you can afford to pay. If $20k is too much in total, then you really need to re think your wedding and plan something that's in line with your budget, yes? I say this because although it seems obvious, there are so many people who post about not being able to afford their wedding, or going into debt over their wedding, or freaking out at how expensive it is. It is only as expensive as you let it become, and hopefully, you can afford whatever you're planning. A wedding just isn't something worth going into debt over. At least not in my opinion.
 
Date: 5/22/2008 8:15:21 PM
Author: surfgirl
Allie, I think the main issue here isn''t what weddings cost in your area, it''s what can YOU afford to pay for YOUR wedding. It really doesn''t matter what other people are paying, only what you can afford to pay. If $20k is too much in total, then you really need to re think your wedding and plan something that''s in line with your budget, yes? I say this because although it seems obvious, there are so many people who post about not being able to afford their wedding, or going into debt over their wedding, or freaking out at how expensive it is. It is only as expensive as you let it become, and hopefully, you can afford whatever you''re planning. A wedding just isn''t something worth going into debt over. At least not in my opinion.
Click to expand...
Okay, yes, this makes more sense. I can see someone wanting to charge something to make it (whatever "it" is) more possible, but that''s only going to get that person into a lot of debt (and end up costing more than it was worth). I''m not saying this is you though. If you can''t afford the cost of the wedding, you may want to change a few details. I''m not sure what though -- I''m not sure what kinds of things you''re looking at/thinking of or where you are in your planning.
 
I hope this will help. We have a budget of 15K which we will pay ourselves. We made a spreadsheet of "venue independent items" such as flowers, DJ, photographer, Centerpiece, Favors, Invitations, cake, gifts, tux, makeup, hair, rings...Then we assigned budgets to each of them. We assigned something reasonable, but what we think we can get away with. For example, rings we assigned $900 each, Centerpiece $100, and so on. The 15K minus the total "common value" is the budget we have to look for when we look at venues, including tax and tip.
We also assigned priorities to each values. For example, making the spreadsheet helped us realize that cutting the cost of the tux isn''t going to help us much, but cutting the cost of the photographer and DJ would help a lot (if we had to). On the other hand, cutting the cost for the rings will help a lot too, but we really don''t want to skimp on that one. So we labeled each category as 1,2,3,4...With 1 being the first to cut down on costs, and 5 being the one we will cut if we absolutely had to.

We''ve looked at 3 venues so far, and only 1 of them fit our budget. We will be looking at 2 more, and hopefully we will be able to decide afterwards.

I''m very lucky though...I have generous parents who are paying for my dress. Also we''ve asked for a rough guest list from FI''s parents, and FI has already asked them to pay for the overflow, if their humongous guest list kicks us off budget.
 
I really hate the thought of spending all this money too.

We''re having 100 people, and I am putting my foot down on 24 000. But the more I go on, the more it seems to cost. So far, NOTHING has been within my projected allocation. And I thought I was being really generous with the sum accorded for each thing.

It looks like I am going to skimp on my dress, which is the only thing I have yet to decide on.
 
Thank you everyone. We really can comfortably afford $15000 we have saved up the sum already and the wedding is still 14 months away but the further we go the more expensive it gets. I will put my foot down and try to find some places where we can cut. I am sure everything will work out! Thank you for all of your support!
 
if i can make one suggestion, DO NOT sacrifice on the location or the time of year. i wanted a May wedding but had to settle for February due to budget constraints. just thinking about having to deal with cold and possibly snow makes me sad, even though i know we''ll make the best of it. and don''t sacrifice on your venue either. again, we were looking to save money and ended up with a place that does not have anything very special about it at all and now i worry if i will be happy with the way it looks on my wedding day. think about how you will feel that day if it doesn''t look at feel the way you had hoped. i would hate for you to be disappointed or have to just deal with it.

the only thing i''m not sacrificing on is the guy i''m marrying. :-)
 
Well I''m the super non-traditional gal so what we''re planning should keep the wedding/reception cost to 5K or less for 60 people.
 
And I really do love the location it is just magical. If you saw my thread before on choosing a venue we decided on the Endicott Estate in Dedham MA www.endicottestate.com/, it is just like out of a story book, and having it in June will just be the icing on the cake, even if it rains! I think last night we decided to just do the Friday and to get less expensive rings for me for now and then upgrade for an anniversary (plus I can get a solid band engraved no so with a full channel set eternity) We will also use the less expensive of the three photographers we picked out! All these things make it feel less painful!
 
I am totally feeling you. Guess what I did? I got so frustrated I started cutting our budget left and right. I spent hours before that trying to figure out how in the world we could afford to do $120 a head for FI''s huge family and small family together. So I decided we weren''t going to spend that much, it''s silly for us to I think. But anyway, $20,000 is not bad at all really. Total it''s pretty good. One of the reception sites I looked at that was the food and beverage minimum. THAT is insane for me!
20.gif
I am not trying to minimize your concerns at all! I am totally tired of spending money and finding more and more costs. I am just saying everything all together for $20,000 is not too bad if it''s what you want. If it isn''t you''re going to have to cut some things. And I totally agree with surfgirl on that. You CAN control it, it just may take some strength and pushing to stay in control. E.g. Let''s say you like $4,000 letterpress invitations. If you''re not having an formal wedding (I say formal as opposed to engraved ultra-formal), then ask yourself do I really want to spend this much on something a lot of people will end up throwing in the trash? My answer was heck no after I thought of it that way. Our budget is at this point around $15,000-$20,000. Mostly because I picked a very expensive photographer, but it was really important to me. Now I just need to find a videographer that works. That''s a challenge. But anyway, it looks like you are on track. And your venue looks gorgeous!
30.gif
 
Hey! I hope it''s not too crazy, cause that''s about what my budget ends up looking like!! About 15K for the wedding and all that goes along with it, and probably 4-5K for the H-moon... and I have 110-120 guests.

Breakdown (for comparison purposes, I hope this helps!:

Reception venue: $9000
Dress: $1000 (still to be determined, though... but I''m going shopping soon!)
Invites: $350 (DIY, includes stamps)
Ceremony site: $300 (may go up depending if I have to rent chairs... outdoor in a park)
Flowers: $1000 (mom works at a flower shop, I''ll be getting a great deal)
DJ: $500 (friend of a friend)
Photographer: $1000 (high school friend)
Rings, hair/makeup, shoes, mani/pedi, tux for him, attendants gifts: $1500

We''re only having MOH/BM. MOH''s g-pop has 2 classic cars and offered to tote us around... and refusing for me to pay him. I have to think of a way to throw him some $.

I feel like I''m forgetting something... oh, well. When''s your wedding? I''m in Philly, BTW. And we''re footing the bill... entirely
20.gif
 
Honestly 20k for 115 guests sounds really good to me. I thought I was doing a lot of cost cutting (which I may to a degree and our wedding is currently at 48k w/out wedding bands and over 50k with. Our original budget was 50, we'd cut it down to 38k and its crept back up 10k. This isn't even including the cost of the house rental for the week which is 4700. So if I total it all up it comes to about 59k!! OUCH! Errr... better not let my FI read this he'll bust a gasket. That's so pricey omg. I think we need to go back through the budget and see what the heck we can trim back on more, oww. We're only having 80 guests but we do get the house for a week and it sleeps 12. We're having our wedding in Carmel, CA.
 
geez I must be the cheapest person ever...my wedding including everything even honeymoon is costing $3000

I''m glad I''m cheap...I couldn''t imagine spending that much!
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top