Food choices

[zoebartlett]

My FI and I just went to a wedding this weekend and the place cards had two different colored dots in the corner to signify our meal choices. Pretty standard, right? Well, since we had sent back the rsvp so long ago, we had completely forgotten what we had ordered. The wait staff had a really hard time firguring out who was supposed to get what, and a lot of other guests couldn''t remember what they had chosen. It ended up working out fine in the end, but it made me think. How could you avoid having this happen at your wedding?

 

[monarch64]

When we got married my mom told me not to offer choices so there wouldn''t be any confusion like you experienced this weekend. I followed her advice, we had no complaints over not offering a choice between two different things.

 

[basil]

At our caterers, they advised us to just give a count of how many want each meal (i.e. 25 fish, 75 steak). Then they will go around and ask people the day of if they are having the fish or the steak. Yeah, some will forget and some will change their minds or whatever, but according to them, it usually evens out enough that they have enough of each to go around.

 

[DMBsGirl]

Hmm, this is really interesting. I''ve been to lots of weddings and have never had to tell them my meal choice beforehand. The day of the wedding you''re just given like 3-4 choices by the waiter.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 7/1/2007 12:16:25 AM
Author: DMBsGirl
Hmm, this is really interesting. I''ve been to lots of weddings and have never had to tell them my meal choice beforehand. The day of the wedding you''re just given like 3-4 choices by the waiter.

Really?? That''s never happened at weddings I''ve been to. That would be so much easier though. When the invitation and reply card arrive, I''ve usually seen the meals (usually chicken, fish, red meat of some kind and maybe a vegetarian option) written on the bottom of the reply card. You check off your choice before sending the reply card back. I don''t mind doing that and I know it''s necessary so the caterer knows how much of each dish to make. It''s just a pain when you reply so early and then have to rack your brain trying to remember which dish you chose a month or so earlier.

 

[musey]

Date: 6/30/2007 9:29:53 PM
Author:zoebartlett
How could you avoid having this happen at your wedding?

Have a buffet

 

[E B]

Date: 7/1/2007 12:31:08 AM
Author: musey

Date: 6/30/2007 9:29:53 PM

Author:zoebartlett

How could you avoid having this happen at your wedding?

Have a buffet

Aww, you beat me to it!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 7/1/2007 12:31:08 AM
Author: musey

Date: 6/30/2007 9:29:53 PM
Author:zoebartlett
How could you avoid having this happen at your wedding?

Have a buffet

Yes, that''s one way to avoid the issue all together.

 

[sumbride]

I went to a wedding where they did the sticker on the placecard thing and I think they may have given a key to the wait staff because it was seamless. I don''t know if peple forgot what they ordered, but they received it whether they changed their minds or not!

 

[Pandora II]

It''s the one bit I''m really worrying about!

We are having a plated starter and then a large buffet for the main course.

Most of FI''s family are jewish and they range from the ultra orthodox to the "atheist of jewish descent", most being the latter. The village we are getting married in has rarely seen anyone who isn''t 100% anglo-saxon. I have no idea what the rules are on kosher - can it sit next to non-kosher on the buffet table? Is it just blessed by a rabbi or is it grown differently too? What about canapes??? Help!

FI is no help as he is of the atheist variety and definitely wants the cooked ham served.

He also thinks people should just eat food and if they won''t then that''s their problem. There have already been arguments aout his cousin attending as he refused to attend his sister''s wedding 2 years ago because she was marrying a non-jewish man. FI banned him from our wedding because of it and then relented but won''t do anything different for them coming - so I''m trying to keep the peace at both ends. Grrr

I then have a number of vegetarians. No Problem - except one of them is a non vegetable eating vegetarian. I think I''m just going to buy her a big bag of crisps as it''s all she seems to eat (but seems anoying to have to pay the full $80 if she''s only eating crisps!)

 

[jcrow]

have their choice noted on their placecard at the reception.

 

[cara]

pandora-
There is a wide variety of how strictly jews follow the kosher laws - for the orthodox, basically you would have to hire a kosher caterer. there are rules about what kinds of food can be served (restrictions like no pork, no shellfish, only beef slaughtered and prepared according to kosher laws, many more), what food can be served together (no meat and dairy together), how the food is prepared (separate regions of the kitchen and implements for the meat and dairy), what plates the food is served on (dedicated plate sets used only for meat food, or only for dairy food, for the lifetime of the plate). there are rabbis that certify that establishments are following the kosher laws but it is not a simple as getting the food blessed.

other jews may be less strict - for example, a conservative jew might not eat pork and would prefer that meat dishes be non-dairy but would eat such a non-dairy meat dish even if it was prepared in a non-kosher kitchen and served on a non-kosher plate, etc.

i would figure out if the jewish guests keep strict orthodox kosher - if they do, are they expecting to eat at the reception? then you might want to buy microwavable kosher meals that come completely prepared. not elegant, but not a separate caterer.

if they just keep some kind of fuzzy kosher, and don't care about the preparation or plates or that it is served next to meat, it might make sense to give them the veggie option, for a non-meat dairy meal, so that they could also eat the cake, which presumably has dairy in it.

 

[neatfreak]

Well, we''re having a small reception so basically everyone has an abbreviated menu in front of them on the day of, and they can order right there from the choices on the menu.

BUT it''s also at a restaurant so it''s easier for them to do it this way.

 

[San Diego Bride]

our guests had 3 choices: filet mignon, lobster or a vegetarian option. we also had a lobster bisque and a vegetarian soup. and a children''s meal option as well. we were initially just going to assign table numbers and let people pick their own seats, but decided to assign specific seats to avoid the confusion you experienced this weekend. we had a table at the entrance with everyone''s table numbers on it. then at each table there were placecards with different colored flowers on them. at each setting there was an individual menu too so each person knew exactly what they were getting. it sounds like a lot of planning, but was really pretty easy (particularly because we had ~45 guests). the service was flawless.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 7/1/2007 11:24:13 AM
Author: cara
pandora-
There is a wide variety of how strictly jews follow the kosher laws - for the orthodox, basically you would have to hire a kosher caterer. there are rules about what kinds of food can be served (restrictions like no pork, no shellfish, only beef slaughtered and prepared according to kosher laws, many more), what food can be served together (no meat and dairy together), how the food is prepared (separate regions of the kitchen and implements for the meat and dairy), what plates the food is served on (dedicated plate sets used only for meat food, or only for dairy food, for the lifetime of the plate). there are rabbis that certify that establishments are following the kosher laws but it is not a simple as getting the food blessed.

other jews may be less strict - for example, a conservative jew might not eat pork and would prefer that meat dishes be non-dairy but would eat such a non-dairy meat dish even if it was prepared in a non-kosher kitchen and served on a non-kosher plate, etc.

i would figure out if the jewish guests keep strict orthodox kosher - if they do, are they expecting to eat at the reception? then you might want to buy microwavable kosher meals that come completely prepared. not elegant, but not a separate caterer.

if they just keep some kind of fuzzy kosher, and don''t care about the preparation or plates or that it is served next to meat, it might make sense to give them the veggie option, for a non-meat dairy meal, so that they could also eat the cake, which presumably has dairy in it.

Thanks Cara,

That''s really helpful. I think I will give their mother a call (she''s very liberal) and find out what the best way forward is. If necessary I can probably order something from a kosher deli here in London and get FI to bring it down the day before.

I just can''t think of anything worse than having people sitting with empty plates - I would feel terrible.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I went to a wedding once with three choices. Our place cards were different colors (pink=steak, light yellow=chicken, light blue=fish) seemed to work out fine.

 

[ephemery1]

Date: 7/1/2007 9:32:34 AM
Author: sumbride
I went to a wedding where they did the sticker on the placecard thing and I think they may have given a key to the wait staff because it was seamless. I don't know if peple forgot what they ordered, but they received it whether they changed their minds or not!

Exactly.... in my experience, the "dots on the placecard" thing works great... most weddings we've gone to up here in the Northeast use that trick. Most weddings have 3 choices (meat, fish, veggie) so it's pretty easy for the waitstaff to glance at the dots and know "2 reds = 2 meats" or "1 white, 1 green = a fish and a veggie". And our coordinator also asked for a list of who had requested what, by table, so that they had it in the kitchen just in case.

I've never been to a wedding where you had a menu of choices and just told the waiter... I think that might get a bit complex with 200+ people!

Although a lot of rehearsal dinners up here are done that way, since there's usually no more than 30-40 people at those. I've also been to several weddings that just did surf and turf for everyone (filet and crabcake, usually), rather than offer choices ahead of time.

 

[Fancy605]

Date: 7/1/2007 9:32:34 AM
Author: sumbride
I went to a wedding where they did the sticker on the placecard thing and I think they may have given a key to the wait staff because it was seamless. I don''t know if peple forgot what they ordered, but they received it whether they changed their minds or not!

This is exaclty what we are doing. My cateres want the food service to be "art work" they said. We asked each guest for his/her meal choice before hand. Then we made our seating chart, noting who wanted what meal on the chart (which is basically just a list of table numbers with the names of the people at them beneath and their food choices next to their names). The wait staff asked for a copy of the list and made themselves a diagram of all the tables. They marked it to correspond with the seating chart. They are deciding who will man what tables before hand. Then in addition to the seating charts, we are putting something different on each place card depending on what food people ordered. All of them are 3-D objects (that people use for scrap booking or making stationary, etc), and they look very pretty I think. For Beef, we have a red rose, for chicken we have a calla lilly, for salmon we have a black orchid or something, and for kids, we have diamonds. The staff has a Key for each thing, so that if someone changes place cards around, they will still get the correct dish. Hopefully it will all go smoothly. I''m actually not worried about it. The caterers are VERY much perfectionists, so I think they will do their best to make sure everything is perfect.

 

[Jaders731]

We had a choice of Steak or chicken at our reception.. and to denote it on the placecards, we used very small stamps of either a chicken or a cow (depending on your choice of course)..

That way the wait staff knew what everyone had chosen, and each guest remembered if they forgot... I have the file somewhere. I can post it if your choices are going to be steak and chicken.. I think it cost around 20 bucks to have the stamps custom made.. BUT.. I remember Paper Source created "menu stamps" shortly after we custom ordered our stamps...
You can find them here: http://www.paper-source.com/cgi-bin/paper/871306.html?cm_id=3810.160
This would alleviate any confusion.. I think..

Our food service ran seamlessly.. this idea may help...

 

[So_happy]

From the point of view of an actual banquet server at weddings..........

The colored stamps/paper are fantastic! We love to not have to bother guests by asking them "Did you order the steak or the chicken?" questions. And they also don''t have to fret about what they ordered. (Some get really concerned they won''t request at the wedding what they ordered many weeks prior). Of course, we do still have to ask some guests as they will forget to put thier placecard on the table when they sit down but that''s usually only a small fraction of guests who''ll do that.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Date: 7/1/2007 12:31:08 AM
Author: musey

Date: 6/30/2007 9:29:53 PM
Author:zoebartlett
How could you avoid having this happen at your wedding?

Have a buffet

or do a family-style dinner!

we had platters of various italian dishes set out on each table and guests chose what they wanted to eat.

this may not be appropriate for all weddings, but it went nicely with ours (75 guests, @ winery)

 

[havernell]

Date: 6/30/2007 9:29:53 PM
Author:zoebartlett
My FI and I just went to a wedding this weekend and the place cards had two different colored dots in the corner to signify our meal choices.

So you are saying the problem arose because there were two dots on the same place card because there was only one place card per couple?

In that case, the simple solution to me would be to give each guest their own place card (with just one dot on each) rather than doing one place card per couple...

If you don''t want plain boring dots on the place cards you can do different color decorative stamps that match your motif instead. For example, my friend who had her wedding at an arboretum decorated her placecards with bird stamps- brown birds for steak, red birds for fish and green birds for the veggie entree.