FI''s family finding out the price of the e-ring and turning very negative

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/26/2009 11:07:22 PM
Author: wenwen1111
I didn''t think it was necessary to involve future in-laws in the ring buying as long as it was worked out between me and my FI as the ring is a personal thing. They weren''t upset over the fact that we are engaged because my FI has told them about it. It stemmed from the cost.

But yes both me and my FI think that it''s an issue deeper than the ring. I don''t want to give too much private information here but there are definitely issues in the background and they do become critical of me easily.

Also I don''t think it was necessarily to become upset over this when I don''t have a problem of paying part of the cost.

Hopefully things will work out. FI said he needs to be more assertive infront of the family so hopefully this is a good opportunity to do so.


Thanks for all the suggestions but there''s too much speculation/guessing going on here. I''m seeing accusations fly and this wasn''t the intent of the thread. I simply wanted advice on how to approach them afterwards. I''ll try to get my FI to have more ''formal'' talks with the family about certain issues and *fingers cross*

I think this is probably the best lesson to learn from this whole thing. In the end, it is each spouses job to deal with their own parents directly, and they should try to shield their wife or husband from as much drama as possible. A lot of drama in families can be avoided if spouses don''t "tattle" to one another about every little thing that their parents may say, especially negative things, and if they are careful to always align themselves with their spouse when diagreements or criticisms come up.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

 

[jewelerman]

Its actually good this situation came to be!Sounds as if this side of the family needs to have a sit down meeting right away about boundries,and privacy issues!You and your soon to be husband need to come to an agreement about what is proper to share and not share with his family and he needs to stick to it and remember who he goes home with at the end of the day!He wants to marry you and not his parents.If you dont let the parents know where you stand on this issue then EVERY personal issue you have in your private lives will be open to discussion with his family!They are pushing to see just how far the can push...you need to be polite but firm and communicate your exact opinion on the matter...that they need not be concerned about the ring or its cost as you both have discussed it as a couple and its been taken care of....if you dont stant up for yourself then any decussions about money,home,family,or life will be open for public discussion and consumption!

Good luck!