Wedding First Write-in Guest

[Sabine]

I was always amazed to read the posts on here about how to word the invitations/response cards to make sure no uninvited guests show up. I couldn''t dream of anyone in my family bringing someone who was not invited to the wedding! Well today, someone on FI''s side totally shocked me. On the response card, he wrote "His name + guest" when we had only invited him! Since this is an older cousin of FI''s that I don''t know, I was first certain that I had been at fault and that he had a long term or live-in girlfriend that we had happened to leave off the invitation. But after further digging, no one in FI''s immediate family has heard of this girl! So even though he wasn''t given a guest, he decided to just invite one!

Honestly, this would not be a big deal. If he had called FI or even FI''s parents and said something like, I''ve just started seeing this girl and would like to bring her, I don''t think I would be annoyed at all, but I''m blown away that he just wrote her in!

 

[robbie3982]

Ugh. People can be so ridiculous. At least he let you know he was bringing someone instead of just showing up with her like my dad''s friend did with his 2 kids at mine.

 

[Stephanie]

That''s just annoying. Do they not understand that there are a specific number of guests? At least mention something to someone before having the gall to write someone''s name in.

If you can''t tell, I''m really having a problem with this right now (and I only just sent out STDs.)

 

[mimzy]

my cousin just got married and another cousin of ours plus-one''d his invite. i''ve already got my little speech ready if/when he tries to do the same thing when our invites go out! i think people just have no idea.

 

[Haven]

We haven''t had any write-ins, but we did have cousins call to see if they could bring their twenty-year-old daughter. They also told my mother that they aren''t sure they can make it if the daughter can''t come. My mother said we''ll miss them.

ANYWAY, I would give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he just didn''t notice that the envelope was addressed to him alone. Then I''d call him and explain that you wish you had room for additional guests, but you don''t.

 

[zoebartlett]

That''s a pain! We just had this happen too. One of my friends is divorced and she''s not seeing anyone that I know of. We didn''t write "and guest" on her invitation because of that, but she took it upon herself to write it in for us.

 

[bee*]

I can''t believe people actually do that! How rude!!

 

[little miss sunshine]

Oh no! That IS very rude... Sabine and zoe - July 12th right? (my date as well)

Anyway... our wedding is pretty small so we invited just close family and friends and invited singles with guests. So far, I have a friend of my moms (divorced and single) bringing her daughter! She had been dating someone, but since she is flying in for the wedding, she wants to spend the time with her daughter... It''s not a big deal, but I went to high school with her daughter and we were not friends. Sort of awkward, but oh well... I guess sort of "unwanted" guests will come no matter what!

 

[LollyBear]

It seems this sort of behavior is inevitable. I wanted an adult only reception and had several cousins write-in their kids so we had 10 screaming kids/babies running around and all those families left super early. My venue was small so those 10 seats counted for 10% of the guest list! I didn't have the cajones to say anything and have always regretted it. You should definitely say something if you think it'll continue to bother you even in the least.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 5/23/2008 9:53:41 PM
Author: little miss sunshine
Oh no! That IS very rude... Sabine and zoe - July 12th right? (my date as well)

Anyway... our wedding is pretty small so we invited just close family and friends and invited singles with guests. So far, I have a friend of my moms (divorced and single) bringing her daughter! She had been dating someone, but since she is flying in for the wedding, she wants to spend the time with her daughter... It''s not a big deal, but I went to high school with her daughter and we were not friends. Sort of awkward, but oh well... I guess sort of ''unwanted'' guests will come no matter what!

Yep! It''s coming up quick...

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 5/23/2008 11:00:48 PM
Author: StephensBride
It seems this sort of behavior is inevitable. I wanted an adult only reception and had several cousins write-in their kids so we had 10 screaming kids/babies running around and all those families left super early. My venue was small so those 10 seats counted for 10% of the guest list! I didn''t have the cajones to say anything and have always regretted it. You should definitely say something if you think it''ll continue to bother you even in the least.

That''s awful!

I''m wondering... is it ok to write "adults only" on the cards? I don''t want to be rude but I do NOT want children at my wedding. I was just at a wedding where this child screamed the whole entire time and for some reason the mother would never take him out. It RUINED the whole wedding. We found out later it was the PASTOR''S CHILD!

Not even family!!

 

[Blair138]

I just went to a wedding where the reception invite said "Adult Reception"-which I think is VERY APPROPRIATE. however, at the wedding-there were kids everywhere!!

I guess the bride and groom made exceptions for some, but YES-Adult reception is PERFECTLY fine, and on the invites write "mr. & mrs. smith" not "the smith family" or "mr. & mrs. smith & family"

 

[LauraSLP07]

I JUST had this happen.....with my Matron of Honor!!!!!

Here is the situation: MOH and her hubby have temporary custody of his 14-year old sister, "B." She has some mild psychiatric issues related to her mother''s drug problem and has been in hospitals a couple of times over the past 5 months. I have no problem with children at the wedding, but did not originally invite "B" on the card. I just assumed that since MOH would be gone all day with me, that "B" would just go spend some time with her cousins that live down the street. The card was only written as Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but MOH just added "B" and let her choose an entree.

This may sound selfish, but now I am worried that MOH will be preoccupied with "B" and will forget about some of her MOH duties. I know that her hubby will be around to look after "B," but you never know what might happen with a slightly unstable child.

My MOH has been my best friend since we were 13, so I am trying not to let it stress me out too much. I am just upset at her for not calling me before sending the response card to my parent''s....should I ask her about it without making it seem confrontational? Sooooo confused!!!

 

[strmrdr]

Around here it is customary to include + guest for single people because going to a wedding alone stinks.
Every invitation I have ever gotten was for me + guest.
I always just rsvp for myself and make a note that it will just be me.
Different customs I guess but it is considered rude not to add + guest for single people here.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 5/24/2008 12:26:18 PM
Author: LegacyGirl


That''s awful!

I''m wondering... is it ok to write ''adults only'' on the cards? I don''t want to be rude but I do NOT want children at my wedding. I was just at a wedding where this child screamed the whole entire time and for some reason the mother would never take him out. It RUINED the whole wedding. We found out later it was the PASTOR''S CHILD!

Not even family!!

When I sent my Save The Dates out, I handwrote a personal note to everyone who had children explaining that we weren''t able to invite under-10''s and that we hoped they would understand our decision and not be offended.

So far, I''ve had a reply from one couple who aren''t able to come as they are strict orthodox jews. They sent a lovely message and added that we should be very relieved they couldn''t make it as they have an 11 and 12 year old!

The other reply was from FI''s cousin who has a 2 year old and is due to give birth 4 weeks before the wedding, she wanted to know if we would have a huge problem if she brought the new baby - which of course we don''t.

Everyone has been really great about it and most have told us they''re looking forward to a child-free evening!


On the + guest thing, we made a decision to restrict to married/engaged/living together over a year. We really want people that we know at our wedding. 90% of our guests are in that situation, and the few that aren''t seem to have a different guy/girl every other week so I''m sure they''ll get on well together!