First bridezilla-ish moment? Location research

[mrscushion]

Am I having my first bridezilla moment?

I am researching locations -- online only thus far, haven''t spoken with anyone, perhaps that''s the issue here. To give a little background, FI and I live in NY. He is from the U.S., I''m from Europe and my whole family lives there, too. The wedding will be in Europe in the late summer/early autumn 2010. Italy and France are front-runners right now. I am a huge Italy fan, having spent a lot of my childhood there, but FI is much more in favor of France and since he feels like a wedding in Europe is a significant compromise for him (and in truth it is), I''d love to not steamroll him on this one and pick a French location that makes him happy.

Now, my dream wedding is in a vineyard -- a symbolic/humanist ceremony under trees and a reception under the evening sky outside, all of this extremely laid back, more like a really great dinner party with amazing food and music but not formal at all, more like a garden party. Basically, I want a relaxed California wine country wedding, but in France. The issue is, all the French wine country wedding venues I see online are chateaux that are all about "fairy tale weddings" with grand entrances, horse drawn carriages, "king and queen for a day," etc. Well, "fairy tale" is not what I have in mind at all, it''s not me. It just all seems way too formal. And frankly, for all the formality of the events and photos I see, I don''t even like any of them. I don''t think anything looks like it''s executed with a particular sense of detail. Perhaps the photographers just aren''t that great, or not the style I''m looking for. Or maybe it''s just that European wedding planners aren''t that up to speed on how to build a fabulous website that really showcases their work from the best angle. Could be any of those.

Anyway, the issue is, I feel like I go through pages and pages of Google search results only to remain unimpressed with the pictures I see and not really get anywhere. Do you think the problem is that I actually need to start talking to people in order to get a better picture and more locations suitable to my tastes than what I can discern online? Does anyone have any recommendations for European wedding planners, first-hand or second-hand or third-hand?

I can see that I sound a little whiny here. Also, it''s a long post. I''m sorry. I''m just a little frustrated.

 

[Deelight]

WOW how amazing getting married in France OMG - beautiful

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From personal experience you definitely need to get out there and check the venues in person I know so many to be that looked AMAZING on the web were quite overwhelmingly disappointing IRL and vice-versa.

I did a quick google search and pulled this up for you I don’t know if this is what your after but to me this is beautifully rustic and formally informal – http://www.smallweddingsinfrance.com/page8.htm might be worth giving them a call


To me a lot of the wedding mood is created with the details as much as the venue, so I would find something that fits most (if you can''t find all) of what your after and create the rest yourself to make it like what you want .

 

[Deelight]

Here are some more possibilities

http://www.gomarryinfrance.com/weddingplanning.html


http://www.chateaudebagnols.co.uk/weddings.asp?Page=receptions it shows a couple of pictures of outdoor receptions could be worth looking into further

I googled informal winery weddings in france to bring these up .

 

[Pandora II]

France is a bugger for getting married in I believe due to the amount of time you have to be there before you can get permission (unless you are planning on having a ceremony that isn''t actually a legal one - either country you will need to get married in the townhall, they don''t cater for humanist weddings)

I''ve been to some lovely laid-back weddings in Italy - the last one was near Siena in a place called Villa Catignano. The couple hired the whole place for 3 days and all the guests stayed there too (I think we paid 70 Euros for three nights between us which was amazing). The wine they make is really good and I believe they have their own wedding planner.

The bride is an even bigger control freak than I am and she didn''t seem to find things particularly difficult - bar the ghastly photographer who was a complete diva and literally pushed the poor guy doing the ceremony out of the way so he could get better shots!

 

[mrscushion]

Wow, deelight! I guess it would really help if I were a better Googler, but alas it seems I stink. Thanks for those links! That "small weddings in france" site -- now there's a site that makes me want to see more!! Thanks again.

Pandora, thanks. Originally I was thinking of doing a non-legal (symbolic) ceremony. I guess I have heard people use the term "humanist," particularly for officiants, but it may not mean the same as Humanist like the ceremonies conducted in Scotland (I think?). Regardless, I mean "symbolic." It would not be the worst thing for me to get legally married in the States before flying over to France. However, I will actually be living in France for some time over the course of the next year, so that 40 day requirement might actually be covered, I still have to see about that -- in which case I might do a private city hall wedding followed by a larger garden ceremony.
ETA: I am with you on the wedding in Italy. That would be my preference, too, even though I will be living in France and could therefore be close to the venue for a few months to do so more hands-on planning. I just love Italy much more than France. But FI feels much more connected to France, so I want to try and research that option first.
ETA 2: Thx so much for the link, just noticed it. I'm on it now -- looks great!

 

[Deelight]

Your welcome HTH The googling skills have come with a lot of practice - just keep trying to change around the words you would be surprised what you can find

, good luck with the search .