Finding Community

[princesss]

Hey ladies,

So I''ve got a bit of an odd question. I think most of you know that I''m still pretty new to my city (I''ve been here less than a year and a half), and I''m still in search of some kind of community. I''ve got Ultimate, which has helped a lot, but I''m looking for something more.

My mom''s suggestion is always to find a church, which I''d like to do but I don''t know how much that would help. I mean, how many 23 year olds can drag themselves out of bed on a Sunday morning to get there, you know? So I''m wondering if that''s worked for anybody here to really give them a sense of community and a place to kind of ground yourself. (Obviously it doesn''t have to be a church, but any kind of regular group worship/study.)

If that hasn''t worked for you, what has? How have you found some kind of community in a new town?

 

[dragonfly411]

princesss - I went through something similar when I moved. What are some of your interests? What are things you enjoy? I moved back to my original community but when I lived elsewhere I found doing activities that interested me helped a lot b/c there were others interested in the same things. Perhaps a dance/yoga class, some sort of volunteer activity, or something along those lines? A runner''s group?

 

[princesss]

A volunteer activity could be good. I''m pretty broke, so classes are out. I play Ultimate, which, like I said, has really helped. But you know that feeling when you just want something *more*? That''s where I''m at. I''m just trying to think of anything that could be a good fit. I''ll put volunteering on the list.

 

[vc10um]

Volunteering is an excellent suggestion.

A and I are currently looking for a new church because our old one is now really tough to get to since we moved, but if you look for churches affiliated with either the Christian and Missionary Alliance or Great Commissions Ministries, they are often 20-30-something focused...great for singles, couples, and new families. Our old church was C&MA, and my church in college was GCM.

Also, I''d check and see if your college or university has an alumni association in the area. You have a sense of community with them automatically since you went to the same school--even if it was at radically different times!

 

[Erin]

Chamber of Commerce usually has lots of activities and events
Rotary, if you can get in
Country Club
Local civic center/YMCA

 

[JustLikeYou]

I also agree with the volunteering idea. When I first moved to the city my boyfriend lives in, I didn''t know many people and it was difficult making friends, so I decided to do something for me to get myself in a good mood again. I went to volunteer at the local humane society shelter as a dog walker and obedience trainer. Three years later, I''m still doing it, and it''s incredibly fulfilling and I have met TONS of people there! Now granted, most of them are in the older crowd (I am also 23, and most people I meet there are in their 30''s - 50''s) but I don''t mind that one bit... we all are doing something we enjoy and can connect over. I''ll often meet up with some of them outside dog walking too and have a coffee or whatever.

I''m sure you could find something like that which would really open you up to a group of people you never knew you could befriend.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I just wanted to say I''m basically in the same position princess, I''ve been in denver over a year now and still don''t really have any new friends...
I work with some pretty great people but we aren''t really friends outside of work

 

[UnderBlue]

I''ll fourth or fifth volunteering. That''s how I''ve found the friends I have now.

You might also try Meetup.com. It''s about getting people together with common interests and it can work well. That''s how I made friends in the last place I lived.

I''m not sure what Ultimate is, but if you like sports, you might be able to find pick-up games or cheaper leagues to join.

 

[AustenNut]

I can totally relate to your situation. To answer your question in regards to churches, I would definitely give it a go. You might want to try churches located near universities, which tend to skew toward a younger demographic (while still having older people within it as well). Or if you go to church that doesn''t really fit you might speak with the minister about your concerns and s/he could give you some recommendations of congregations with younger members. (Church people talk, and they know what different churches are like.) Or you could try googling "young adults" and "church" and the city you live in and see what pops up. My particular church (United Methodist) actually has a LOT of younger adults (20-35), far more than the usual church, and it''s been a great place to meet people and connect with others in a variety of ages.

Volunteering would also be good, though if you''re doing it to meet people make sure that you volunteer where you''re around other people you''d like to become social with. For instance, tutoring 7 year olds can be great, but you probably won''t meet a lot of adults that way. But if you do an activity that involves other people (soup kitchens, humane society, etc) then those interactions will help to build more of a community for you.

I''d also third meetups, as they''re usually free and can be a way to meet people with common interests.

 

[TooPatient]

Kiwanis does lots of volunteer stuff. Usually at least on group in each city. Each group has projects of its own and some combined stuff. Also a great way to network with business owners.

 

[bobbin]

Princess, I know how you feel and I have lived in the same city my whole life!

I have just lost touch with a whole heap of old friends and am slow to make to new ones.

I too have Ultimate, but lately there have been a whole lot of personality clashes and I don''t even feel like I belong there anymore (or even want to be there anymore).

No real advice to give, but just to empathise with you!

I will also be keeping an eye out for advice I can use!