Feeling rejected

[Crockettsbaby]

My boyfriend of two years and I live together,and a few months ago we were laying in bed and he says to me. I''d really like to be married by next year, and Im planning on being engaged by the summer.This was much to my surprise so Ive been waiting and being exicited and I mentioned marriage with him today and he got very offensive, although said he wants to get married.Ive been wanting to ask him but he says that he would be very offened if I ever did that, what should I do.

 

[glitterata]

It sounds as if he wants to propose to you himself and plans to do it sometime before the summer is over. Try to be patient.

 

[sumi]

I suspect that he's planning on surprising you with something. He probably got offended when you brought up marriage because he really wants it to be a surprise and doesn't want to talk about it.

At any rate, don't be too impatient. You've only been together for two years. In the long run, that's not too long at all. Just take it easy because at least you know that you're both on the same page when it comes to eventually getting married.

 

[purduephotog]

Actually, I can relate to some of this.

I'm planning something especially devious and it's going to take several months to come to fruition. It doesn't help the fact that her twin sister is getting married this fall; I'm being squeezed on both ends of the time frame (I do not want to take away from her sisters day by ursurping it with my actions)

So give the guy some time to get his plans in order. I'm sure they'll be quite good

(I've received two offers of marriage if it doesn't work out once I described my plans... so sometimes it's good to wait )

 

[Bass12]

Yeah, definitely sit still and wait to see what happens. Just let him know in suttle ways that you're ready to take it to that next level. All he needs is the confidence that you'll say yes when he asks. From then on, it's up to him and his planning.

I think "offended" is the wrong word. My girlfriend and I have been together for over 3 years and recently we've had talks and we know we want to get married. However, now that we've talked about it, I hope she never brings it up because I want it to be a surprise. I don't want to talk about it at all...because she knows me so well that the minute we start talking about it she'll read me and know something's up.

So it's not that I'm offended when she starts talking future-ish, it's just that I'm terrified she'll find out what I'm up too! I get so giddy talking about our future, it's a dead give-away!

 

[Jeep]

Yeah, Me too! I think that he is up to something! I mean, I know I am- and it seems as if she can see through it all. This being the case, when she brings it up it is hard to play it cool and talk about it in a way like I am not as involved with it as I really am and still seem like I am interested. It is a fine line to walk. On one hand you are doing all this hush, hush stuff. Which, if found out about could look fishy if all the facts are not clear. (Like yesterday when I went to the book store and she called me on the cell phone as I am in the wedding section of the store~ She knows me well like 12 years~ She would have wondered why the heck I was in a book store) Talk about heart flutters... So, on the other hand you really want to tell her what is going on. But, it is sure fun to be in your own little world.

Sorry I am a but off topic here back to the post.... I think that you should keep in mind that he has told you that he wants to be together in a year. This being the case I would bet that he is planning it and thinking about it right now. Sorry for the long windedness here.

 

[Bing Chow]

As long as he continues to love you, respect you, and is committed to the relationship, it's ok. I've been keeping a secret from my GF of 3yrs for 7 months now. I'm going to propose this Friday. I kept telling her I have no money for a sparkly cuz i'm paying back student loans and saving for retirement.

It's not a race. He'll ask you when he's ready and it will be far more special because he won't be forced into it.

 

[Judi W]

I understand how you feel, I am such an impatient person and I don't like surprises! On the other hand, nowdays couples live together, women are more forward, times have changed, and maybe he justs wants to preserve that element of a romantic proposal in his own way and time. Whatever he has planned...I'm betting it will be worth the wait. Keep us posted and all the best to you.

 

[ShopDiva]

Yeah I got impatient too. It will happen when you least expect it! Enjoy each day for what it is, you don't want to force him; just start planning the wedding w/out him knowing.

Just kidding, you might freak him out!!

 

[VAgal13]

ShopDiva you are so funny!

But secretly, us girls do start planning little parts of the wedding way before we get our ring.

I am in the same boat...been with my BF for three years and we discuss the future, but I want it to come now. But, I love him so much, that I am willing to wait a while for him to be as ready as I am. He knows how I feel about getting married, so the ball is in his court now. But, at some point he will have to make a move toward marriage.

If I had to guess, I would say your man is planning something very special for you. I bet thats why he got so defensive when you brought it up.

Best of luck! Do keep us posted!

-Sarah