LiW Feeling my first bout of LIW-itis!

[Indylady]

I''ve had a bunch of friends getting engaged lately, but I usually don''t feel any LIW-itis after/from it; however, I''ve been having a crummy time lately, and I just saw one.more. engagement announcement on FB that just topped the cake. I''m not crying or hysterical, but I am a little

*insert more negative emoties*. Well boo. Thoughts anyone? Methods of getting out of a funk?

 

[Indylady]

I just wish those dang pictures would get out of my news feed!

 

[pluck15]

I totally hear ya. Same thing is happening for me. All my friends, and even just aquaintences are getting engaged left and right. Sucks cause I really want to/am/try to be happy for them...but it always just makes me a little more sad, and a little more depressed every time. I get that "why not me yet???" kinda thought going through my head. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to get out of that funk, cause I''m in it too. So if anyone else has advice...........I''ll gladly take it as well!

 

[absolut_blonde]

I wish I could offer some advice, but I still experience that to some extent. It used to bother me more, for what that is worth.
Eventually you get a bit more used to it.

Then the actual weddings start, then babies.... Then you feel REALLY left behind.

I'm happy for my friends & family of course, but sometimes it stings.

 

[D&T]

awww Szh07 - I''m sorry your feeling a little down *HUGS* for yah. But I and DH never subsrcibe or even look at FB, we have no interest, we''re probably the only one not doing FB, but that''s just a choice we make, sometimes its consuming and reminds you things that otherwise shouldn''t be a downer, but it happens. What about hobbies? activitites ? that you can take up to take your mind off of these things? I remembered when I was feeling the same way (at the time I wasn''t even dating any one, but everyone around me were, and getting engaged left and right) so I started to pick up lots and lots of activites, I travelled, ran 3k 5k races, hiked everything under the sun.

 

[Bagel_Bandit]

My BF tries to get me out of those "funks" by telling me that the longer we wait, the more time he has to save up for an extra special ring. A bit silly, I know, but it lightens up the mood. Don''t get me wrong, I don''t have fits over not being engaged, but I understand what you mean about feeling blah after you hear of the engagement of another friend/acquaintance/former classmate, so on... I know it will happen for me, too, soon enough

 

[trillionaire]

maybe try to have a romantic evening with your SO. Maybe just dessert and drinks, or snuggle and reminisce about your relationship. Focus on how happy you are, and how far you have come. Plan your next trip or date night together... Just stay present and focus on the now, instead of getting anxious about the future. It doesn''t do much good to envy other people''s relationships... two of my friends got married, and each couple is pursuing divorce as we speak. Another friend is marrying a guy who propositioned me via email, literally, when we were in college. I printed the 2 page email and gave it to her. She forgave him, and they continued dating. Now they are planning their wedding. Everything that glitters is not gold. If you''ve found your personal pot of gold, count your blessings, and focus on being the best GF that you can.

Good luck! We former LIW''s know it''s much easier said than done!

 

[Indylady]

Thank you so much everybody! I really appreciate hearing from you guys more than you could imagine.

Pluck- I am right there with you! I''ve been seeing announcements right and left and getting invited to bridal showers and bachelorette parties all over the place!

Absolut_Blonde- Me too, I''m happy for them and I love going to bridal showers and bachelorette parties, but sometimes it does sting. I think you hit my feeling on the spot! The feeling of being ''left behind''...I kind of feel like everyone else has ''figured'' their life out or as solidified their future to some extent, but that mine is still largely a question mark is a large part of what I''m feeling.

D&T- I''m so glad you chimed in! Hehe a little bit of me was being silly and wishing I could post this over in Colored Stones because it feels like a smaller pond. Picking up activities is really a great idea; I think I might start volunteering or taking a class for fun, maybe something like beading or jewelery making, and then I could pick up a couple of loose strands from Pearllunar..

Bagel Bandit- That is so cute! What a cute BF!

Trill- Thank you so much; you are right, it is important to appreciate where I am today instead of stressing so much about tomorrow. Slowly but surely wins the race, though I know I''m not competing with anyone. I know my fair share of couples that have gotten engaged and since broken up..

I felt a little pang of jealousy when I saw a girl from my highschool trying on wedding dresses soon after she got engaged; the couple now has a nine month and has recently decided to separate. Another one of my friends had a very large formal engagement party; family and friends, lots of pictures and food; she''s since decided to call it off. I''m happy for her since she has figured out what she really wants, and knows that its not a marriage yet, but it reminds me not to rush into things, and reminds me that you get married for the relationship, not the party. I will be counting my blessings tonight!

 

[pannini]

Date: 8/11/2009 1:03:35 PM
Author: trillionaire
maybe try to have a romantic evening with your SO. Maybe just dessert and drinks, or snuggle and reminisce about your relationship. Focus on how happy you are, and how far you have come. Plan your next trip or date night together... Just stay present and focus on the now, instead of getting anxious about the future. It doesn''t do much good to envy other people''s relationships... two of my friends got married, and each couple is pursuing divorce as we speak. Another friend is marrying a guy who propositioned me via email, literally, when we were in college. I printed the 2 page email and gave it to her. She forgave him, and they continued dating. Now they are planning their wedding. Everything that glitters is not gold. If you''ve found your personal pot of gold, count your blessings, and focus on being the best GF that you can.


Good luck! We former LIW''s know it''s much easier said than done!

I really love trillionaire''s p.o.v. here.

szh07, i really feel your pain. just remember though, we will all get there someday, esp when we know we have a great thing going. we are all in this together! sorry to hear you are having a crummy time this week. i am too, i am having a lotta unrealistic expectations of getting a proposal, so i am here for ya! thank goodness for PS right?

as for putting things in perspective, we all have much more important things going on in life- education, career, or just having a supportive family/network of friends. keep your head up! sending you some happy dust...

 

[D&T]

Date: 8/11/2009 3:16:39 PM
Author: szh07
Thank you so much everybody! I really appreciate hearing from you guys more than you could imagine.

Pluck- I am right there with you! I've been seeing announcements right and left and getting invited to bridal showers and bachelorette parties all over the place!

Absolut_Blonde- Me too, I'm happy for them and I love going to bridal showers and bachelorette parties, but sometimes it does sting. I think you hit my feeling on the spot! The feeling of being 'left behind'...I kind of feel like everyone else has 'figured' their life out or as solidified their future to some extent, but that mine is still largely a question mark is a large part of what I'm feeling.

D&T- I'm so glad you chimed in! Hehe a little bit of me was being silly and wishing I could post this over in Colored Stones because it feels like a smaller pond. Picking up activities is really a great idea; I think I might start volunteering or taking a class for fun, maybe something like beading or jewelery making, and then I could pick up a couple of loose strands from Pearllunar..

Bagel Bandit- That is so cute! What a cute BF!

Trill- Thank you so much; you are right, it is important to appreciate where I am today instead of stressing so much about tomorrow. Slowly but surely wins the race, though I know I'm not competing with anyone. I know my fair share of couples that have gotten engaged and since broken up..

I felt a little pang of jealousy when I saw a girl from my highschool trying on wedding dresses soon after she got engaged; the couple now has a nine month and has recently decided to separate. Another one of my friends had a very large formal engagement party; family and friends, lots of pictures and food; she's since decided to call it off. I'm happy for her since she has figured out what she really wants, and knows that its not a marriage yet, but it reminds me not to rush into things, and reminds me that you get married for the relationship, not the party. I will be counting my blessings tonight!

hehehe... That's the spirit

 

[trishy]

Date: 8/11/2009 1:03:35 PM
Author: trillionaire
maybe try to have a romantic evening with your SO. Maybe just dessert and drinks, or snuggle and reminisce about your relationship. Focus on how happy you are, and how far you have come. Plan your next trip or date night together... Just stay present and focus on the now, instead of getting anxious about the future. It doesn''t do much good to envy other people''s relationships... two of my friends got married, and each couple is pursuing divorce as we speak. Another friend is marrying a guy who propositioned me via email, literally, when we were in college. I printed the 2 page email and gave it to her. She forgave him, and they continued dating. Now they are planning their wedding. Everything that glitters is not gold. If you''ve found your personal pot of gold, count your blessings, and focus on being the best GF that you can.

Good luck! We former LIW''s know it''s much easier said than done!

I LOVE THIS POST!!

right on trill!! i wish i heard this when i was a liw.

 

[Nomsdeplume]

Date: 8/11/2009 1:03:35 PM
Author: trillionaire
maybe try to have a romantic evening with your SO. Maybe just dessert and drinks, or snuggle and reminisce about your relationship. Focus on how happy you are, and how far you have come. Plan your next trip or date night together... Just stay present and focus on the now, instead of getting anxious about the future. It doesn''t do much good to envy other people''s relationships... two of my friends got married, and each couple is pursuing divorce as we speak. Another friend is marrying a guy who propositioned me via email, literally, when we were in college. I printed the 2 page email and gave it to her. She forgave him, and they continued dating. Now they are planning their wedding. Everything that glitters is not gold. If you''ve found your personal pot of gold, count your blessings, and focus on being the best GF that you can.

Good luck! We former LIW''s know it''s much easier said than done!

So so true.

My worst was when my BF''s brother proposed to his GF. She is 21. Then I was like "hang on, I didn''t want to get married at that age."
They are relying on parents for everything, he just quit his job and she doesn''t have one.
That made me realise that I want to give my marriage the strongest foundation possible, be realistic about it, become more established in my career and wait til it''s the perfect time. So now I''m no longer upset when friends etc get engaged. When it happens to me, it will be perfect timing.

 

[Indylady]

Kribbe, that is definitely an excellent way to think about it! I want to build the foundation for a marriage that will last a lifetime, and to build that foundation takes time.

 

[SparklyRing]

While I do wish that I were engaged or married, I actually enjoy looking at ring and wedding photos on FB because they give me an idea of what I want (or don''t want) for my ring and for my wedding. I actually saw one of my HS classmates'' wedding photos on FB and absolutely LOVED her dress! I loved the design and cut and want to find one like it for my own wedding.

Anyway, you should look on the positive side and use these photos as inspiration!

 

[vc10um]

Date: 8/11/2009 1:03:35 PM
Author: trillionaire
maybe try to have a romantic evening with your SO. Maybe just dessert and drinks, or snuggle and reminisce about your relationship. Focus on how happy you are, and how far you have come. Plan your next trip or date night together... Just stay present and focus on the now, instead of getting anxious about the future. It doesn''t do much good to envy other people''s relationships... two of my friends got married, and each couple is pursuing divorce as we speak. Another friend is marrying a guy who propositioned me via email, literally, when we were in college. I printed the 2 page email and gave it to her. She forgave him, and they continued dating. Now they are planning their wedding. Everything that glitters is not gold. If you''ve found your personal pot of gold, count your blessings, and focus on being the best GF that you can.

Good luck! We former LIW''s know it''s much easier said than done!

Trill, this is PERFECT...it''s EXACTLY what I did with my FF after I had a HUGE bout of LIW-itis last week. We had a cozy movie night with comfort food the day after my...ummm...pout-fest, shall we say?...and then this weekend he surprised me by making a very very complicated and yummy chocolate torte.

Reminded me why I''m a LIW in the first place...and made me happy to be one!