Feeling like crap about my dress...

[Niel]

OK so I already know I'm being stupid. And I'm sure I'm being an uber bridzilla probably but I'm already tired of my dress. I KNOW I'm not fat, and I know I dont need to lose more weight but I feel like a cow in it. I have the widest ribs known to man. And my dress can't get loosened up there, so I'm all worried I won't be able to breathe in it. I think it'll look boring and I should have went lace, even though everybody does lace now and I didn't wanna do that. I dunno. I think its just because everyone will be looking at me and judging me... I know I know its stupid... but I dunno. (The wrinkly pick is just my dress that hasn't been steamed yet)

Did this happen to anyone else? I'm sure it did. I'm just so uncomfortable about the dress. I dunno.

Just needed to vent.

 

[TooPatient]

Yes, it happened to me too!

Your dress is beautiful on you! You've got this great hourglass figure and the dress shows it off perfectly!


How long ago were you last in your dress?
I had the worst doubts when it had been awhile. Trying it on again and pairing it with my shoes and a veil took care of my doubts! (okay.... at least for a few days )

 

[Niel]

Oh like 2 weeks ago probably. Not too long. I dunno.... I am having trouble verbalizing why I'm upset about it.

A few weeks after I bought my dress I saw this Dior dress on sale. It had like off the shoulder cap sleeves, similar shape, cream with huge flowers. I keep thinking, awe man how great would that have been.

Probably wouldn't have been as the pattern was very bold, but I keep thinking oh what if I had gone this way or that way. I know its just because I've picked one so I keep thinking "what if".. but still. Im so sure about my FI but so unsure about everything else. We should have eloped!

I'm so concerned about the shape, but truth is I didn't look good in any other shape. Anything ball gown had me looking like a tranny.

Ah! I just need to remember there was a reason I picked this one. It was the best looking one on me.

Probably just putting all my wedding jitters into this dress. Just so sure every judjeroo there will be on there judgeridoo

 

[TooPatient]

Well, you are gorgeous in it!

Do you have pictures of yourself in the ones you didn't choose? Looking at those again has helped remind me some days why I chose mine. Of course it has also left me wondering why this one and not that one

The night I picked my dress up (left it at the dress shop until I needed it for my first fitting), I saw a woman trying on dresses and wished I had gotten that one instead -- it looked great on her! Of course that style did NOT look good on me so I went back to feeling confident and waiting for my dress to be brought out. And then there was the gorgeous dress on the mannequin...

Anyway,
I think you are correct that it is the stress or anxiety of everything else. I think that no matter what dress a person chooses there is always a "what if..." that happens.
I had to fight those same feelings with the menu, flowers, photographer, shoes, wine pairings, room assignments, cake....

 

[recordaras]

Oh my, are you kidding me?? The top part looks absolutely perfect!!! Seriously, the top part of the bodice was the first thing I saw when I opened the thread and my first thought was: "Wow, there must be something wrong with the skirt or train, because that top looks amazing!"

Honestly, I think we sometimes overthink things in the desire to reach that non-existent 110% perfect. I'd recommend just forgetting about the dress for a bit, and focusing on other stuff. Sometimes after a break you'll see that your worries were completely unfounded!

 

[chatbandit]

stunnnnnnning. i dont mean to invalidate your concerns but oh my you look to die for!!!

 

[soxfan]

I love it! looks like a tadashi.

 

[UrsTx]

Wow! Your figure looks awesome in your dress. Are you able to sit comfortably in it? If yes, then I think it's fine. The rib cage part looks good from an outsider's point of view.

 

[Mico]

Do you have pictures of yourself in the ones you didn't choose? Looking at those again has helped remind me some days why I chose mine. Of course it has also left me wondering why this one and not that one

I second this. I'm in the process of narrowing down my dress and seeing pictures of other contenders is really helpful. Maybe the thought of the 'deal' of the Dior dress is getting to you?

 

[House Cat]

I had doubts and I DID end up buying another dress. I was so happy that I did! I LOVED my wedding dress in the end, but my first dress had me up at night. I didn't feel that people would judge me, I just had nagging feelings that it wasn't very flattering.

Seeing you in your photos, there is no doubt that the dress is super flattering. You look absolutely beautiful. I don't know what you are talking about when you say that you have a wide rib cage. I don't see ANY of the flaws you point out. Your dress is classic, beautiful, and you are so lovely in it.

One other point, people who are going to judge you will judge you no matter what dress you are wearing.

If you are STILL in doubt, go try on more dresses. One of two things will happen, you will either quiet your mind and realize that you DO have THE dress, or you will find THE dress.

Good Luck to you!!!


P.S. I should point out that I have never lived down the fact that I bought two wedding dresses. Personally, I don't really care when people bring it up and poke fun at me, but if you do go out and purchase another dress, you will be known for it..........forever.

 

[Rebecca0388]

Seriously that dress looks amazing. Your waist looks tiny and the silhouette in the second photos of the layers

I haven't bought my wedding dress yet, but I have been through my sister in law and now my best friends (on saturday!) wedding over the past year or so. I can tell you they both had the same feelings at some stage as your having right now

I agree about trying it on with veil shoes etc just not too much we nearly had to take my sister in laws off her I swear that girl probably did the dishes in that thing when no one was around.

 

[Niel]

Thanks guys. I knew other people must have felt the same. Like I said my logical side says " shut up Niel your as tho as you've ever been. But then the bride side of meis like "look st that belly you cow!"

My mother was nice enough to purchase the dress. And I am sure I could not buy another one without lots of guilt and drama.

And thanks for telling me these things. I figures other people did it too! Its amazing what a wedding does to people. I've always been self conscious, and the idea of everyone looking at me with only one thought "how pretty does she look?" Is FREAKING me out.

I wasn't planning on having a veil bit maybe I need to change that.

I guess I just need to get over it and say "this is what you're wearing!" But I dunno.

 

[Niel]

Maybe I could find a nice reception dress to change into after all the speeches/ dance/dinner? Would that be weird?

 

[iluvshinythings]

Your dress looks beautiful and your figure is amazing. I don't think it would be weird at all to get an additional dress for the reception is that's what you want to do but I hate that you feel bad about your dress because it's gorgeous on you.

All that being said, I know just how you feel. My wedding is three weeks away and I had a dress melt down this week. I've never really liked my dress and every time I watch "Say Yes to the Dress" I end up crying because I settled for an "okay" dress instead of hunting down "the one". Long story short, now I have two dresses and one of them feels more "bridal" but the other one looks more flattering and I'm still not sure which I'm going to wear.

Sorry to vent about all that but you are not alone in feeling this way. I hope you get it worked out. You look beautiful in your dress!!!

 

[Niel]

Your dress looks beautiful and your figure is amazing. I don't think it would be weird at all to get an additional dress for the reception is that's what you want to do but I hate that you feel bad about your dress because it's gorgeous on you.

All that being said, I know just how you feel. My wedding is three weeks away and I had a dress melt down this week. I've never really liked my dress and every time I watch "Say Yes to the Dress" I end up crying because I settled for an "okay" dress instead of hunting down "the one". Long story short, now I have two dresses and one of them feels more "bridal" but the other one looks more flattering and I'm still not sure which I'm going to wear.

Sorry to vent about all that but you are not alone in feeling this way. I hope you get it worked out. You look beautiful in your dress!!!

No that's exactly what I wanted! Others with the same feeling. Would you consider wearing both? Or will you return one? I can't return mine.

I asked my sister about the idea any she thinks if I do it'll hurt my.moms feelings. Which I really don't wanna do. But I don't wanna cry at my wedding for feeling like a bloated sausage.

I'm looking into maybe finding a fun BCBG dress on eBay. Swapping it ones the grandparents and whatnot have gone home. So I'm in my dress for MOST of the time.

 

[Daisycakes617]

aw, your dress is beautiful! But if you're really not comfortable, then by all means get a second dress that you can really "be yourself" in. I just had to say that I love this dress though! Good luck!

 

[antiquesparkler]

I am late but I have to tell you, Niel, I think your dress is stunning! Your figure is amazing and that dress gives you the perfect hour glass.

What accessories are you wearing?

My friend switched into a white BCBG mini dress for the 'dance party' portion of her wedding and kept her jewelry on. It was a huge hit and she looked great. She said she was much more comfortable. I would totally go for it!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Would some sort of rhinestoned belt help you feel better about it? It could go around your tiny waist and I think it would look gorgeous!

 

[iluvshinythings]

Your dress looks beautiful and your figure is amazing. I don't think it would be weird at all to get an additional dress for the reception is that's what you want to do but I hate that you feel bad about your dress because it's gorgeous on you.

All that being said, I know just how you feel. My wedding is three weeks away and I had a dress melt down this week. I've never really liked my dress and every time I watch "Say Yes to the Dress" I end up crying because I settled for an "okay" dress instead of hunting down "the one". Long story short, now I have two dresses and one of them feels more "bridal" but the other one looks more flattering and I'm still not sure which I'm going to wear.

Sorry to vent about all that but you are not alone in feeling this way. I hope you get it worked out. You look beautiful in your dress!!!

No that's exactly what I wanted! Others with the same feeling. Would you consider wearing both? Or will you return one? I can't return mine.

I asked my sister about the idea any she thinks if I do it'll hurt my.moms feelings. Which I really don't wanna do. But I don't wanna cry at my wedding for feeling like a bloated sausage.

I'm looking into maybe finding a fun BCBG dress on eBay. Swapping it ones the grandparents and whatnot have gone home. So I'm in my dress for MOST of the time.

That's a difficult situation to have when you don't want to hurt mom's feelings but don't love the dress you are wearing on an important day. For what it's worth, your dress looks amazing, but if you don't feel amazing in it, I see you quandary. Ideally you should feel excited about your dress. I see brides change dresses for the reception all the time so I think it's a great solution. I don't know your mom or if that would hurt her feelings though. If it were me, I'd aim for the middle ground and wear the original dress part of the time to make your mom happy and wear another dress the rest of the time to make yourself happy.

Who knows, this may all be temporary and you may change your mind before your big day. I can't say yet since I haven't crossed that bridge.

My original dress has been hemmed (or is in the process) so I can't return it. The second dress can be returned so I have that going for me. The original was on sale and not very expensive so the alterations will probably cost more than the dress. We're eloping so wearing both really isn't an option. It's one of those issues where my heart is telling me one thing (wear the new lace dress because I feel more "bridal" and vintage) and my head is telling me to wear the original because it really does look marginally better in the photos and will save some money. Most of the issues in my life boil down to the head versus heart thing so that's not something new to wedding dresses. I think your dilemma is a head versus heart issue too but yours is more complicated by your mother's feelings.

It sounds like you are on the right track and the worst case scenario is that you'll "feel" like a bloated sausage, but I don't think anyone else in the world would agree that you "look" like that. I always find that thinking about the worst case scenario and then realizing that even if that does happen it's not that bad is helpful. The outcome is usually much, much better so it's all upside.

For what it's worth, knowing that you look so awesome in your dress and still feel this way makes me feel better about my own situation as does hearing from others who've BTDT.

 

[msop04]

FWIW, I think every bride questions their dress at some point... I know I did. The problem is there are just so many dresses and we only have one day!

You look absolutely stunning in your dress! Girl, I would kill to have your body!! I know it's almost impossible, but try not to think about it until the day you actually get married. Once you put that dress on you will be so excited and flooded with emotion and memories of why you chose it for your wedding day.

You'll put it on, look at yourself, and think damn I look good..

 

[msop04]

... and I think your dress is bada**!

 

[Niel]

FWIW, I think every bride questions their dress at some point... I know I did. The problem is there are just so many dressed we only have one day!

You look absolutely stunning in your dress! Girl, I would kill to have your body!! I know it's almost impossible, but try not to think about it until the day you actually get married. Once you put that dress on you will be so excited and flooded with emotion and memories of why you chose it for your wedding day.

You'll put it on, look at yourself, and think damn I look good..

Thank you I think your right. Its amazing you best all these thongs about brides and think "thatll never be me " yet here I am.


I appreciate you guys comments. I swear I wasn't fishing. But its funny you look at every one else and think how stunning everyone looks but you look st yourself with such a critical eye.


I was staring at the pic of the sample dress. I'm hoping my concerns are part with out flat and limo mine looks. That can be fixed with a good steaming.

 

[ice empress]

First, let me say that the dress honestly looks stunning on your figure!

Maybe the best thing to do is try to put the dress aside for a few weeks, and out of sight, out of mind?
I bought my dress 4 months ago, and only took it out of the closet once to show my sister. I had forgotten how much I loved it until I put it on again! So maybe see how you feel when you see it again in a few weeks?

If you still feel disappointed, then I would say that you should go shopping again... if you find another dress that truly captivates your heart, then you should get it. You only get married once, and you should feel great about your dress and how you feel/look in it! I'm sure you won't have trouble selling this dress on a forum, ebay, or tradesy.

As for getting a dress for the dancing/reception, I think this is a fabulous idea, and not in the least excessive. I know brides who had MULTIPLE dress changes throughout the course of the day/evening...

 

[Niel]

update everyone.

So i was at Nordstrums rack today and found this dress. I had to have it!

I had always wanted a velvet dress, had i found one i probably would have gotten it for my original dress. Plus, i loved this one so much, its the exact dress i had pinned to my Pinterest like 12 mo ago.... what a happy coincidence! It looks great with my full back piece

So ill be changing into that after all the normal wedding stuff happens, and it turns to dancing.

 

[Daisycakes617]

I love that dress! Great find!

 

[iluvshinythings]

Wow! That's a beautiful dress and I love the back. I'm glad you got it all worked out.