firebirdgold
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2005
- Messages
- 2,216
The housing market here is showing all the signs of a bubble about to go pfffft! and I feel totally trapped. I've always dealt with the frustration of being so close to my parents by dreaming about moving elsewhere in the not too distant future. (on the out of sight out of mind theory)
If my fi stays at his current place of work we could move to the little town it's in, which eliminates his 45 min commute and makes me 50 minutes from my parents. It's more than a little boring up there if you're not an active outdoors couple, but now that we're starting to mountain bike it looks even more appealing.
Or we could move to Eugene in a couple of years which is 2 hrs from his folks (who we both love) and a blessed distance from mine. When things get bad, I look at the real estate listings and dream about the house I could buy and all the money I'd have leftover from this place. I always thought I could sell this house as quickly as I did my last, an offer in less than two weeks and closed a month later.
But the market in my area has just gone all soft and floppy because of the glut. First the house next to me went on the market after it's owner died. Due to a family dispute it's on the market for a lot of money. This made me reasonably happy since my house is much nicer if a little smaller than that one. Then the house on the other side of me went on sale for less than half of the first one (which is sadly far more reasonable), because the owner has arthritis in her knees and it's a two story house. And now the house two down from the first house is on sale (don't know the price). And on the larger cross street there are two more houses like ours also for sale!
One of the things that makes my house special is the combination of the fabulous location and that there are very few craftsman houses in our city which is almost uniformly adobe. Yet all of these houses on the market I've mentioned are just like mine, two story craftsmen in perfect locations for a family or a business.
It could take months and months for my house to sell and for far less than I was hoping for! In my daydreams, I always counted on being able to buy a new house quickly with plenty of money left over to start us off in our marriage on the right foot. We both envision buying a new house with more privacy that we both love after we're married, and now I feel like we're trapped 5 minutes from my parents for the foreseeable future.
This brings me to the second point in my whiny rant, my mother is emotionally abusive.
I've tried to deny it, but I've realized this week that it's true. I'm trying to change my life now that I'm engaged. We've bought mountain bikes and not only will we ride together on the weekends, but I can bike to everywhere I run errands to while staying mostly on low traffic, wide 1-way streets with bike lanes. I've also joined weight watchers and lost 5lbs in the very first week! Yet my mother keeps telling me that I'll get hit by a drunk driver and become a paraplegic with brain damage. The last straw was when she told me that I hadn't really lost 5lbs, it was just excess water I lost. Hello! Drinking more water thank you.
That's when it finally dawned on me that it's not just that she treats her 34 yr old daughter like a retarded (sorry, mentally challenged) 8 yr old, but that she is officially being emotionally abusive and has been all my life since I hit puberty.
Not only does she smother me with over-mothering, has my father convinced I'm helpless, but she also says nothing but negative, self-confidence shattering things while thinking she's encouraging me.
I have got to get away! I keep asking my sister for advice, but all she says is move.
But I now feel trapped by my house! Having three houses in a row for sale will do nothing but convince people not to buy any of them!
I'm sorry for ranting like this, but I just needed to get it off my chest. I feel so desperate.
If my fi stays at his current place of work we could move to the little town it's in, which eliminates his 45 min commute and makes me 50 minutes from my parents. It's more than a little boring up there if you're not an active outdoors couple, but now that we're starting to mountain bike it looks even more appealing.
Or we could move to Eugene in a couple of years which is 2 hrs from his folks (who we both love) and a blessed distance from mine. When things get bad, I look at the real estate listings and dream about the house I could buy and all the money I'd have leftover from this place. I always thought I could sell this house as quickly as I did my last, an offer in less than two weeks and closed a month later.
But the market in my area has just gone all soft and floppy because of the glut. First the house next to me went on the market after it's owner died. Due to a family dispute it's on the market for a lot of money. This made me reasonably happy since my house is much nicer if a little smaller than that one. Then the house on the other side of me went on sale for less than half of the first one (which is sadly far more reasonable), because the owner has arthritis in her knees and it's a two story house. And now the house two down from the first house is on sale (don't know the price). And on the larger cross street there are two more houses like ours also for sale!
One of the things that makes my house special is the combination of the fabulous location and that there are very few craftsman houses in our city which is almost uniformly adobe. Yet all of these houses on the market I've mentioned are just like mine, two story craftsmen in perfect locations for a family or a business.
It could take months and months for my house to sell and for far less than I was hoping for! In my daydreams, I always counted on being able to buy a new house quickly with plenty of money left over to start us off in our marriage on the right foot. We both envision buying a new house with more privacy that we both love after we're married, and now I feel like we're trapped 5 minutes from my parents for the foreseeable future.
This brings me to the second point in my whiny rant, my mother is emotionally abusive.
I've tried to deny it, but I've realized this week that it's true. I'm trying to change my life now that I'm engaged. We've bought mountain bikes and not only will we ride together on the weekends, but I can bike to everywhere I run errands to while staying mostly on low traffic, wide 1-way streets with bike lanes. I've also joined weight watchers and lost 5lbs in the very first week! Yet my mother keeps telling me that I'll get hit by a drunk driver and become a paraplegic with brain damage. The last straw was when she told me that I hadn't really lost 5lbs, it was just excess water I lost. Hello! Drinking more water thank you.
That's when it finally dawned on me that it's not just that she treats her 34 yr old daughter like a retarded (sorry, mentally challenged) 8 yr old, but that she is officially being emotionally abusive and has been all my life since I hit puberty.
Not only does she smother me with over-mothering, has my father convinced I'm helpless, but she also says nothing but negative, self-confidence shattering things while thinking she's encouraging me.
I have got to get away! I keep asking my sister for advice, but all she says is move.
But I now feel trapped by my house! Having three houses in a row for sale will do nothing but convince people not to buy any of them!
I'm sorry for ranting like this, but I just needed to get it off my chest. I feel so desperate.
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