Feel like a COMPLETE Idiot!

[Liquiddazi]

So... my bf keeps reassuring me that he wants to get married in August and that I will have enough time for booking.

ANY WAYS, I have been doing some background searching and researching and got into a conversation with a lady at work about an inn in my area, where her daughter works. She said she would check with her daughter to see the cost of receptions at this inn.

WELL, at lunch, I am sitting there with my mom, my mom''s best friend, and a few other ladies that I have grown up with... This lady makes a comment about the price of the inn, which is out of my budget. My mom''s best friend states, "I don''t see a ring yet", followed by one of the ladies that stated, " Don''t pay anything until you have a proposal."

I just wanted to scream and say, "I know! Do I look like a COMPLETE idiot?" I come from a conversative Christian background where you aren''t engaged until the guy ask the girl and there is some form of ring. It is like they don''t "trust" guys when they say stuff.... any ways, I just feel like an idiot because all of these people think I am "crazy" because they think I am planning this wedding with no proposal and so forth. When an reality, I am just researching.

Maybe I just need to forget about an August wedding and focus on something else until some form of proposal occurs.

 

[luckystar112]

Awww. Don''t listen to them. If your boyfriend is telling the truth (which he probably is) then you''ll be glad you got this situated beforehand. It''s not uncommon for people to start looking ahead before they get the ring on their finger.
Geez...I don''t have a ring on my finger yet, but I won''t cut my hair because I want it long for my wedding. lol...and I have no idea when the wedding will be!

I can understand everyone''s concern with you not having a ring, but if you believe in your heart that a proposal is coming soon it can''t hurt to look around. Cuts the planning time in half.

 

[MustangFan]

Your proposal will be coming any day, week or maybe a month from now. In you heart you know that it''s happening soon and that''s all that matters.
I have jumped the gun a bit myself, I have been research wedding rings and I don''t even have my e-ring yet either.

If it''s bothering you that much, I would get an update on the timeline and ask him if it''s going to happen within a month?? Atleast it''s a broad enough time frame..
Men are sooo sloowww, he should just propose already!! especially if he''s the one pushing for August

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh, I can totally imagine how you feel! But it's natural for you to be excited. And embarassment passes. Definitely do research and don't let it bother you that they are being skeptical. Particularly because, hey, isn't it fun? And no harm done to anyone. It's like looking at bride **** before you're engaged. Why not? ?? ??

Before I decided not to marry the ex-FF, my elderly cousin kept dragging me (OK, she hardly had to drag) to jewelers to look at rings, and once even to a bridal salon. She said 'It will be fun! Let's go!'. But the lady at the bridal salon said 'when are you getting married?' and was looking at my empty ring finger and I felt like a complete dork. Especially because I was so filled with doubt about whether I wanted to marry the guy in teh first place... thank heavens I didn't!

 

[Liquiddazi]

Thanks Mustang & Lucky! Lately, I feel like a fool about this whole subject no matter who I talk to.

Independent: The other thing about this is that my ex boyfriend kept telling me he was going to propose and never did. Then the girlfriend after me, he proposed to after only dating her 8 months! I just makes me doubt, but I know in my heart, my boyfriend is telling the truth and is honest. He has never lied to me before, except for when he skipped class once, & is generally right. Thankfully, I did not marry or get engaged to my ex.

But THANK YOU FOR THE WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT! They are really needed right now!

 

[ImpatientOne]

Don''t worry about what others think! Heck, we had our date and location picked long before he officially proposed!

 

[bee*]

I agree-dont mind what others say. D and I arent planning to get engaged till the summer, and then we probably wont get married for 2 years after that so that I can get three years into my degree programme, but already I know where I''d like the reception and other things like that. Ive had little moments of doubt too sometimes but I think thats natural.

 

[anchor31]

Don''t sweat it, sweetie! I was on the hunt for the perfect dress for months before he proposed, and the wedding will be 24-26 months after the proposal...

And because mom says you can''t plan before you''re engaged doesn''t mean you have to listen to her, right?

My mom keeps saying BMs can''t wear tea-length or cocktail length dresses...

 

[zoebartlett]

I think it''s fun to do research. It''s probably good to have ideas in mind ahead of time, instead of feeling rushed when the time actually comes. Don''t worry about what others think. If you''re having fun, that''s what should count.

 

[FireGoddess]

You should've told them you don't need a proposal. All you really need is a wooden club and a leash to drag him there while he's unconscious.

I mean, a comment like theirs deserves like in kind, right?

 

[Liquiddazi]

Thanks Guys for all of the support and Fire for the good laugh this morning.

I gave my bf a link to this post and he couldn''t believe they said those things. He then encouraged me to continue researching.

Oh Anchor! My mom about had a "fit" when I told her I was thinking of black bridesmaids dresses. I think my wedding is going to make her have to open up her eyes. My sisters'' wedding was a little more on the traditional side and mine probably won''t be. It will be a good and new experience for her.

 

[sap483]

Liquiddazi- My best friend made a similar comment to me the other day. I was looking up a reception site online on Hilton Head Island, and I asked her what she thought of Hilton Head in May (probably 2009) and she said, umm I don''t see a ring on that finger, once you have one come and talk to me. I don''t think people always think things through before they say them. So don''t let it get to you, you''re the one in that relationship, and if you know in your heart that you''ll be getting engaged soon then who are they to saw otherwise. Besides, girls are allowed to dream/research ideas for the weddings, that''s just the way it works!

 

[firebirdgold]

Sometimes a bit of pre-planning is all that keeps us sane during boy-soon!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/9/2007 11:24:57 AM
Author: IndieJones
Sometimes a bit of pre-planning is all that keeps us sane during boy-soon!

Haha... Remember that pre-engagement planning thread we had? We had pages and pages of ideas! Fun times...

 

[princessmo2]

You know, I guess people think they are "helping" or something when they say these things, but I don''t really get it. I recently had a similar experience, where a woman I had just met was asking questions about when me and my bf were going to get engaged, and I told her by the end of the summer, that we already lived together, etc. To which she responded with, "Well, I''m sure this won''t happen to you, but I have this friend..." Short version is that her friend moved in with her bf, expecting him to propose soon afterward, and he never did. "But I''m sure this won''t happen to you."
Aaaah!! Then why are you telling me this, annoying person?!