favor/placecards- is this happy or sad?

[charbie]

i mentioned before about the fork being stuck in a carmel apple as our favors (handmade by my mom and your's truely- shoot me now and we haven't even started.
the placecard will be a little card that folds with the name and number on the front, then the explanation of the significance of the fork on the inside. the cards were designed by the wonderful gentleman who has designed my entire bridal suite- which i'm super excited about because everything matches wonderfully.

here is the story of the forks and the reason behind my post. please tell me if this story is too morbid. this is the abridged version of a story that was in an email sent to me by my grandfather. i just want to make sure people "get it" and it isn't weird. feel free to be honest- i'm pretty firm in the belief i have at this point

ETA: ooooooops! sorry- i did not mean to include the 4 copies from the PDF file. sorry!

 

[Haven]

I like it a lot. I''m not sure I''d literally keep the fork, but the meaning behind the gesture would definitely stick with me. (I just don''t like keeping things that I won''t use or don''t need, it''s not that I have anything against forks.)

I''d definitely eat the caramel apple before the night was done, though.

 

[MagsyMay]

I think it is very unique and cute! I don''t find it morbid at all, then again, I''m not easily freaked out!

 

[cindygenit]

I think I''m a weirdo because i giggled at the last sentence LOL

I find it funny (haha funny, not weird funny) that you are using a fork to symbolise that the best is yet to come

I don''t know, i guess i''m just picturing a bunch of people holding a fork with (or without) a caramel apple leaving a wedding...

However, the story means a lot to you, and you explain that very well in the placecard so its all good!

 

[ts44]

Maybe shorten the story, just to include the bit about the fork? A short tag on the fork saying something like "Our favorite part of a dinner is when they are clearing your place and say "keep the fork", it indicates something better is coming out! In this spirit, we ask you to keep the fork as a symbol that the best is yet to come."

 

[rhbgirl24]

Date: 9/23/2009 8:27:58 AM
Author: ts44
Maybe shorten the story, just to include the bit about the fork? A short tag on the fork saying something like ''Our favorite part of a dinner is when they are clearing your place and say ''keep the fork'', it indicates something better is coming out! In this spirit, we ask you to keep the fork as a symbol that the best is yet to come.''

I agree here. i wouldn''t mention the funeral thing.

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 9/23/2009 8:59:40 AM
Author: rhbgirl24

Date: 9/23/2009 8:27:58 AM
Author: ts44
Maybe shorten the story, just to include the bit about the fork? A short tag on the fork saying something like ''Our favorite part of a dinner is when they are clearing your place and say ''keep the fork'', it indicates something better is coming out! In this spirit, we ask you to keep the fork as a symbol that the best is yet to come.''

I agree here. i wouldn''t mention the funeral thing.

ditto, but all in all its not *that* morbid.

 

[purselover]

I think it''s a little quirky, but in a good way I think it''s fine.

 

[ficklefaye]

i actually find it a bit morbid since it''s referring to a funeral and it will be used for your wedding, can it be edited to just include the fork part? either way, i really love the meaning behind the fork.

 

[lucyandroger]

I like the idea and think it's a sweet story but the part where it says "I want people to see me there in that casket..." is a bit too morbid for me. I can't help but picture someone in a casket when I read it. I wouldn't toss the idea altogether but I would alter the story a bit.

 

[TooPatient]

Strange. Unique.

I''ve seen this story before and love it. I wouldn''t include it in a wedding, but altering it would be great.

Maybe starting with "My grandmother once told me". Skip the casket. Just use the paragraph with the church social.

You could add to the end. Maybe something about how your wedding day has been wonderful and special (maybe even thank the guests for being a part of it) and you know that the best part of your life is still ahead.

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 9/23/2009 3:38:33 PM
Author: TooPatient
Strange. Unique.


I''ve seen this story before and love it. I wouldn''t include it in a wedding, but altering it would be great.


Maybe starting with ''My grandmother once told me''. Skip the casket. Just use the paragraph with the church social.


You could add to the end. Maybe something about how your wedding day has been wonderful and special (maybe even thank the guests for being a part of it) and you know that the best part of your life is still ahead.

Ditto.

Or you could start with "one Christmas the only gift I got from my Gradmother was a fork that she had wrapped and put in my stocking..."

Or... "My grandmother once told me about a beautiful wedding she had attended. Everything about the wedding was picture-perfect... the beautiful bride, the handsome groom, the lovely bridesmaids and the sweet flower girl and ring bearer all looked as if they had stepped from the pages of a magazine. She did notice one little oddity however. As the bride and her maids processed in to the church, she thought she saw the tines of a fork peeking out of each bouquet. Surely I''m imagining things, she thought. So at the reception, she asked the bride about the little silver decorations she had glimpsed in each bouquet..."

Of course if you use this approach, you would have to include a fork in your bouquet!

 

[sparkly_stars]

i love the idea as is- but as you can tell from the ''mix'' reviews on whether it needs to be altered or not- i assume this is the reaction you''ll get if kept as is. (meaning some will love it, some will laugh awkwardly, and some will be confused)
would i change it? no, of course not. that story is one i''d tell, and people would certainly NOT be surprised!
i think it fits, and i think the part of the casket is essential in the story.
why would you cut that part out?

either way, i guess it depends on the guest you have coming..!

 

[tlh]

I like the idea behind it, but skip the casket part. Marriage is about the union of two people and the fresh start as a couple into a new territory... the fork story to me says this is the end of what I know, and am about to go off into something... SOLO. So I would ammend this story just like the others have stated... and just have it be about how saving your fork is your favorite part of the meal, because it means more surprises and goodies have yet to come... and then say to save the fork because the best is yet to come not only for you two as a couple, but maybe as the guests are now two joined families, and friends???

the design is BEAUTIFUL!

 

[Rock_of_Love]

Yup - I''m with skipping the death/casket stuff. All I keep picturing is the woman laying in her casket with a fork in her hand...and then thinking, so her life is over, but she still believes the best is yet to come, does this mean heaven is what she is keeping the fork for? I''m not atheist by any means, but it is sad somehow that her "best is yet to come" happens after she dies. What about all the time she spent with her loved ones on earth??

So, for me, there is a little disconnect in thinking that the "best is yet to come" when you die and thinking the "best is yet to come" for you guys as a married couple and your *life* together. And, I wouldn''t want to picture a woman laying in a casket with a fork throughout dinner.

HOWEVER, I do love the symbolism and think that if you stick with the story about attending socials and clearing of plates it will still work wonderfully!!

 

[ladypirate]

Ditto to leaving out the casket stuff--I don''t think the story loses anything if you just give the meaning of the fork and leave out the other stuff.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, definitely agree to leave off the death part...but I am not sure the story is that powerful for a wedding, period. And as a guest, I really wouldn''t care for a random fork. I''d just have carmel apples without the story!

 

[charbie]

the reviews were pretty much what i thought i would hear. the favor really is the carmel apples (they are the deluxe kind w/ chocolate and crisps, too) and the fork is just a little added touch.

like sparkly stars, i think the mortality part of the story really adds to it, and to remove that part would "cheapen" it. i work in a nursing home, so death and dying isn''t very taboo to me, and i have to admit that i look at death differently than most people probably because of that. anyone who knows me...knows this. i''m really not some creepy person who obsesses on death or anything, i swear.

i think most of my guests will "get" it and won''t think it is strange or very morbid. also, since my grandfather who won''t be attending the wedding, i want a part of him there. he''s the one who passed the story on to me.

THANKS!

 

[sparkly_stars]

Glad you replied Charbie, I again vote leave it as is...even more now that you replied.
I really think your guest will understand- and I completely disagree, the story made me feel all warm and fuzzy and I DO think its perfect for a wedding.

I don''t view the person dying and having a fork in their hands as a bad thing. I think its that person TRYING to make the loss easier on the rest.

I REALLY like the idea, and for those who don''t get it and don''t take the fork, so what? They had an apple that I''m sure they enjoyed. Its a winwin- because even if you end up with 50 extra forks...I REALLY can never have enough forks. (for that reason, I''d love the idea of getting a fork as a favor, instead of a box of chocolate I''ll never eat!)

 

[katamari]

I don''t think it is necessarily off-putting but I would prefer, as a guest, to know how it applies to you versus hearing the story of someone else. Could you add another paragraph about why you and your FI decided to have this as your favor, like TooPatient or VRBeauty recommend?

 

[HopeDream]

Hey Charbie,

I wonder if the apples themselves could have a tag that just says "Keep your fork, the best is yet to come", and you or somone in the bridal party could tell that story at the reception in a toast, or as part of the wedding entertainment?

I think having the story told (as opposed to read) would ensure your guests focus on the important weddingy bits (joy and anticipation). People remember a well-told story!