Family Vacation Proposal

[ambition]

Hello all-

It''s been a while since I posted and have an update and am in need of some more advice. I was a Gent in waiting then, and still am today. My earlier post, in a nutshell, was seeking advice on the subject of proposing when she might not be ready. I ended up heeding the advice of posters here and speaking with her beforehand. While it meant not getting engaged on our trip abroad, it was certainly the correct decision!

Fast forward a little over a year and our talks about marriage and the future have progressed a lot. She''s also nearing the end of school (less than 1 year left). Last time we spoke, we decided an engagement sometime in early 2010 would be nice because we could then have a graduation/engagement party in mid 2010 and plan for a wedding sometime in 2011. I''m going to begin to feel her out in terms of diamond preference in the next month or so.

Now I need to decide how and when (the latter being the more difficult one) to propose. We generally go on vacation with her family around the xmas holidays and I was thinking this might be a great opportunity, especially since I''m starting to get the proposal itch. Family is VERY important to her, but I''m not sure how she would feel about being proposed to on vacation with her family. It would mean limited alone time which would be the biggest downside. It would, however, mean we could share the joy and excitement with her family almost immediately and for the rest of the trip.

Another option would be to take a trip in late fall and do it then. I would need to feel her out a little more with regards to timing because this would throw things off a little in terms of a longer engagement. I was thinking of going to my hometown to do it because it''s incredibly beautiful there and we could share the news with my family in person, something we otherwise wouldn''t be able to do. It would likely only be for a few days so we would be back home and able to see her parents in a fairly short time.

What are your thoughts on either option? Or do you think it would be better to do it after the new year, on a trip alone?

 

[HopeDream]

Hi Ambition

Nice to see a GIW here !

Some ladies have preferences about wanting a public or private proposal (in frot of her family could be considered public), so you may want to get a feel for what she would prefer.
Post proposal you two may want some alone time to celebrate, so being surrounded by family may not be optimal, but that could always wait too.

Do you have any feeling for if you should has her fater for her hand, or if she''d like that. - If you do choose to do it in front of her family, it''s probably best to have their blessing first.

At this stage it might be good to employ an ally who can keep a secret - one of her friends who is trustworthy, or perhaps a sister if she has one, to help you find out her preferences re: ring and proposal without making her too suspicious. Someone who can ask her how she imagines being proposed to , and then tells you so you can make it happen.

Any of your proposal options sound great, and which one you go with should depend on what would make her comfortable. If she''s a realy planner who likes things to happen at definite pre-arranged times, a fall proposal could throw her off.

Would New Years Eve be too "early 2010"? It could be romantic and exciting to start off the new year as new fiances. (or Valentine''s Day?) - not that a holiday is necessary!

All the best!

HD

 

[ambition]

HopeDream-

Thanks for the advice. Just to add a bit from some of your questions. I do believe she would want a private proposal which will happen regardless of whether or not it occurs over vacation with her family. My guess at this point is if I did do it over vacation with her family, I would plan a sub day trip somewhere to ask her and then we could celebrate with her family afterward.

I will be asking her parents for their blessing. Although I''m not sure it is something she necessary requires of me, I want to do it out of respect for them. They are very traditional.

It''s hard to employee an ally because she is not the type of girl that typically thinks about the whole proposal, marriage thing and/or talks about it with friends. She is not one of those girls that has had the day planned out since she was little. Because of this, I think I''m a bit on my own which is fine by me. I''ll come up with something good; I''ve never had a problem planning romantic evenings. As for the ring, I don''t think there''s much of a choice other than to go looking with her. She knows it''s coming in the next 6 months, so my idea is to go window shopping to get a feel for what shape/size she likes and go from there.

New Years Eve is an option too although we might still be on vacation with her family. Valentine''s is out as I think it''s a bit of a hokey holiday to begin with. Should I not do it over the holiday vacation, I''m leaning toward doing it in the fall because of the weather. Like you said, however, it might throw her a bit off. I think I can start dropping hints soon and get her reaction to better know though. Winter makes it tough to do much outside.

All other thoughts are welcome and thanks again!

 

[ImpatientOne]

My husband proposed to me, in private, on Christmas Eve. We were getting ready to head to my families for Christmas Eve celebration. This was the perfect proposal to me, because the actual proposal was private, but we got to celebrate with my family right afterwards!

I think your idea of doing it privately while you are on vacation with her family is great!

Best wishes!

 

[purselover]

I think you should get the ring and hold onto it until the time is right, I think you''ll know when the perfect time is when it occurs, whether it''s on vacation, or new year''s, or a Fall afternoon....does that make sense?

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Date: 8/11/2009 4:06:06 PM
Author: ImpatientOne
My husband proposed to me, in private, on Christmas Eve. We were getting ready to head to my families for Christmas Eve celebration. This was the perfect proposal to me, because the actual proposal was private, but we got to celebrate with my family right afterwards!

I think your idea of doing it privately while you are on vacation with her family is great!

Best wishes!

Ditto!!!

 

[ambition]

thanks everybody! it seems like an xmas/new years proposal on vacation with her family is turning out to be a fine idea. thinking about it a little more, it makes a ton of sense. it roughly fits into our time-frame, can be romantic and private, but also have the ability to share the excitement with her parents. i'll have to be patient, but that's probably a good thing. i have plenty of time to finish saving and shop around for a ring!

i'll be back to the forums relatively shortly once I find out what shape/size diamond i'm looking for. i really like the rectangular radiant cuts but we'll she what she likes. i know from a brief discussion, she likes the non-round shapes, i.e. princess, radiant, etc. should be an exciting process!

 

[D&T]

Date: 8/11/2009 4:10:02 PM
Author: purselover
I think you should get the ring and hold onto it until the time is right, I think you''ll know when the perfect time is when it occurs, whether it''s on vacation, or new year''s, or a Fall afternoon....does that make sense?

ditto!

 

[tlh]

Date: 8/11/2009 4:06:06 PM
Author: ImpatientOne
My husband proposed to me, in private, on Christmas Eve. We were getting ready to head to my families for Christmas Eve celebration. This was the perfect proposal to me, because the actual proposal was private, but we got to celebrate with my family right afterwards!

I think your idea of doing it privately while you are on vacation with her family is great!

Best wishes!

That does sound perfect, and is something I wish I could have done. The hubs and I live 1500 miles away from both our folks.

 

[bobbin]

Why don''t you do it the day/night before you go so that you can get some alone time (and night time alone time

) before you go away on vacation?

That way you can celebrate with her family afterwards AND have your private time as well.

 

[ambition]

Date: 8/12/2009 2:40:14 PM
Author: D&T

Date: 8/11/2009 4:10:02 PM

Author: purselover

I think you should get the ring and hold onto it until the time is right, I think you'll know when the perfect time is when it occurs, whether it's on vacation, or new year's, or a Fall afternoon....does that make sense?

ditto!

I'm not sure I exactly understand this. While it sounds nice in theory, it's really not practical, nor applicable in our case. We have been together for many years (7-10); there will not be a single day/time that is perfect. There won't be any magical timing involved. Any day would be perfect. While spontaneous would be perfectly fine, I want to plan something fun out. Does that make sense?

 

[ambition]

Date: 8/13/2009 5:24:38 AM
Author: bobbin


Why don''t you do it the day/night before you go so that you can get some alone time (and night time alone time

) before you go away on vacation?


That way you can celebrate with her family afterwards AND have your private time as well.

This is a good idea but like stated in the post above, I want to plan something fun, unique & special. For me, that will likely require a trip of some sort--something that could not be done the night before leaving on vacation with her family. It''s certainly something to think about though.

Thanks again for all the advice/suggestions. Keep them coming!