Wedding Family style dinner at reception?

[havernell]

Hi ladies! I''m only an "occasional" poster, but I''d really like your opinions on this, please!

Has anyone been to a wedding reception where the dinner was served family style (i.e. the caterer puts large platters of each dish on every table and people pass them around as they would at Thanksgiving dinner)? We kind of like the idea because it lets people have more food than a plated dinner but doesn''t require the standing in line for a buffet. But, perhaps there are downsides to a family style meal that we''re not thinking of? Anyone have any good or bad experiences with family style dinners at wedding receptions (i.e. stories about how great aunt Erma spilled the plate of asparagus spears all over cousin Bernie''s lap as she was passing the dish to him)?

I''m also wondering what a family style dinner would do to the formality of the reception. Our wedding isn''t going to be super formal, but it''s not really a casual reception either (it''s under a tent on the grounds of an art museum next to a lake). I''m thinking family style will make the reception feel more intimate and friendly, but I could see other people thinking that it would make the reception feel too much like just an ordinary dinner at home. What vibe would you associate with a family style reception?

 

[swingirl]

Sorry, but IMO passing around bowls with people I may or may not know isn''t ideal. I hate it when someone uses the spoon to scoop out food, then taps it on their plate after they have eaten off of it. It''s too much spit swapping for me. Plus the bowls are heavy and the first thing gets cold before the last thing has been around.

But I wouldn''t worry about people not having enough at a plated dinner. You are offering them a nice meal to enjoy but you don''t need to fill them up until they can''t walk.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

Date: 4/21/2008 4:30:56 PM
Author: swingirl
Sorry, but IMO passing around bowls with people I may or may not know isn''t ideal. I hate it when someone uses the spoon to scoop out food, then taps it on their plate after they have eaten off of it. It''s too much spit swapping for me. Plus the bowls are heavy and the first thing gets cold before the last thing has been around.

But I wouldn''t worry about people not having enough at a plated dinner. You are offering them a nice meal to enjoy but you don''t need to fill them up until they can''t walk.

I agree completely. I do think it seems less formal as well.
I don''t want people to eat until they need to unbutton their pants. I prefer they be plesantly full and not stuffed. Its healthier, they feel better in the end and they are more able to dance.

 

[goldenstar]

I respectfully dissent.

FI''s sister had a family style dinner reception and I loved it. I didn''t notice anything objectionable as far as spit swapping, and I''m a total germphobe. We were seated with people I personally didn''t know well, but it was fun. Family style is a little less formal, but it still felt like a wedding. It made me think that the couple was laid back, easygoing and hip.

Some people feel overstuffed if they finish a whole plated dinner (me) and others are still hungry (FI). I think family style is a good way for people to eat whatever amount works for them. If they gorge themselves that''s their fault. Plus, I would think most people would feel self conscious about looking like a hog so they would moderate themselves.

I didn''t notice anything negative about the food temperature.

 

[havernell]

Okay, thanks! This is all good stuff to know. See, I never would have thought about the serving spoon touching other peoples'' plates bothering some folks, so this is helpful.

Oh, and to clarify (because I wasn''t clear in my first post) I''m not so concerned about the amount of food people are getting with plated dinners (though I have been to a few weddings where the meals were sparce). What I should have said was that I was thinking that family style gives more choice/control to people over what they eat. So, for example, if someone isn''t a fan of the main meat entree, they can have more of the side dishes or whatever with family style whereas they can''t with a plated meal.

Anyhow, any other opinions? This is really helpful.

 

[Krissie]

Date: 4/21/2008 5:28:42 PM
Author: havernell
Okay, thanks! This is all good stuff to know. See, I never would have thought about the serving spoon touching other peoples'' plates bothering some folks, so this is helpful.

Oh, and to clarify (because I wasn''t clear in my first post) I''m not so concerned about the amount of food people are getting with plated dinners (though I have been to a few weddings where the meals were sparce). What I should have said was that I was thinking that family style gives more choice/control to people over what they eat. So, for example, if someone isn''t a fan of the main meat entree, they can have more of the side dishes or whatever with family style whereas they can''t with a plated meal.

Anyhow, any other opinions? This is really helpful.

I would probably just go with a buffet - that way people get to pick and choose however much of anything they want, without regard to what other people at their table want! If you are worried about lines at a buffet, have you thought about buffet stations? Not one long buffet, but several stations set up in the room (one for salads, one for pasta, one carving station, one for veg, etc). We thought seriously about that, but ultimately space would not permit it. One advantage is it gets the crowd up and moving, and mingling!

 

[havernell]

Date: 4/21/2008 5:35:59 PM
Author: Krissie

If you are worried about lines at a buffet, have you thought about buffet stations? Not one long buffet, but several stations set up in the room (one for salads, one for pasta, one carving station, one for veg, etc).

I've heard of stations, but was never sure how they would work in practice. Are tables still called up one by one like at a normal buffet or does everyone just go for the stations at once? And is there a problem with food from the first station getting cold on your plate by the time you've gone through the fourth station line? At least in a regular buffet you get all of your food at the same time...

So, I guess my question is now expanded to your experiences with both family style receptions and station receptions!

 

[Krissie]

I assume you would be called up a few tables at a time, and from then on it would be open and you could get more? The guests could feel more in control rather than waiting in a long line, and would facilitate going up for seconds (e.g. if they wanted pasta rather than beef on the second go-round). It has always worked smoothly at receptions I have attended. What we would have done would be to have a plated salad waiting at each place setting, and then call people up for the hot food stations. That way, people aren''t just waiting to be called up.

 

[Elmorton]

I think being a guest with a family style meal would be fun - it would be a nice way to get to know strangers at the table because you HAVE to speak with them. For a sit down dinner, you often have to pass rolls or salad dressing...so I don't think there's that much of a problem with adding a few entrees to the mix I typically don't like buffets (although we DID have one at my wedding and it worked absolutely fine and the food was wonderful!). I do think that family-style will be a little less formal - and you'll want to either nix or make centerpieces very small.

 

[choro72]

Are you Asian? For Chinese banquets it''s the norm...

 

[havernell]

Nope, not Asian. But perhaps we should look into the logistics of traditional asian receptions to get some ideas if we do opt for a family style meal {wheels turning in head}.

Now, I wouldn't mind having our whole reception be Thai and/or Vietnamese food (yum!) but that unfortunately wouldn't fly with either of our families (the only Chinese dish my Dad will even touch is lo mein since "it's kind of like spaghetti")!

 

[Haven]

I think family style sounds wonderful--we''ve been to many rehearsal dinners with family style service and they''ve all been lovely.

We compromised by using stations instead of a traditional buffet line. There will be five different stations located in our reception space and people can go to whichever they choose. The lines won''t be as long because they''ll be split among the five locations.

I can''t imagine we''ll be calling tables up one at a time for the food, that just seems funny. But I''m not sure, we''ll have to talk to our caterer, I suppose.

 

[zoebartlett]

I don''t see anything wrong with family style dining but I like the idea of stations better -- mini buffets, I suppose.