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Excited we are making progress upset that he hates my dream ring(s).

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stepcutgirl

stepcutgirl

Brilliant_Rock
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Mar 11, 2009
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So...we are finally making progress. I'[m pretty sure an engagement is coming within 6 months and a wedding about 6 months after that. This is great and we are looking to purchase a ring soon...and this is where my issue lies.

I waffled over a sapphire vs a diamond for a long time. I finally settled on a sapphire because I just love them, they do for me what diamonds do for the girls who crave them. Well I have kept two diamond rings in my mind because even though they are diamond centers they have sapphire halos and I love the combination. Realizing I need to decide what setting i want so i know what stone to get I spent days on here just staring at the few i had narrowed it down to and I had two front runners, the two diamond ones. Shocking to me, but my mind was made up.

That is until I showed them to him today. Not only did he not like them but he said they were tacky. OMG. He said I can have any ring I want, even if he doesn't like it...but I don't want a ring he doesn't like. So now I'm back to looking at rings and my heart is a little heavy. I just wanted to share, most people would not understand.

Are these tacky? Do I just have bad taste?

ETA-He wasn't a jerk about it but I could see on his face he didn't like them so I asked him to give me honest opinion.

frenchblue918.jpg
 
the other one i love.

tackysapphirehalo918.JPG
 
Most men really think about an engagement ring as a rock on a band -- that''s it. Simple. Classic. Traditional. etc ... The rings you''ve chosen do not look like traditional e-rings -- for a few reasons: size, combo of color stones/diamonds, shape. I don''t know many fellas who would like those rings. And it doesn''t mean the rings are "tacky" or that you have bad taste. Just that you are UNtraditional.

Hopefully you can find some common ground (if you want the ring to be one he doesn''t hate). If you poll the ladies here I bet you''d find a high percentage who have forgone halos because their mate doesn''t like them. TONS.

Good luck!!
 
Tacky? No. Unconventional? Yes.

Perhaps ask him what he would consider a great ring, and then take both your ideas to a jeweler who can mesh them into a custom design?

For example: You love the look of the blue sapphire, maybe he wants a more conventional solitaire setting. A good designer can help to reach a happy medium. Check out the Vogue article with the blue sapphire ring at the bottom of this thread:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/hot-pink-ering.79051/
 
Thanks for the replies. I don''t think he has an issue with halos in general as he really likes a halo that I will attach to this which along with a JM 1345 are now front runners again. And I know it isn''t cost as the sapphire is about the same as the diamond I was considering buying. Maybe it is the colored halo that he sees as tacky. I see it as art deco deliciousness.

legacywannabe918.jpg
 
Agreed. Colored halos are fab, and you rarely see them IRL.
 
Oh, stepcutgirl, I totally empathise (where''s a little hug emotie when you need one?!).

I think deco probably has it right here. I look at those two GORGEOUS rings and think art deco deliciousness just like you
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Guys (including mine) look at it and see something totally untraditional and "fussy". I think that it probably deviates so much from the mental image they may have had, they initially don''t like it. This was the case with my ring I started wearing recently. Do you think he just needs some time to get used to the idea? Or needs to see it on your hand?

Could you both comprise on something that looked more traditional from the top but had some funky art deco look to it at the sides, like the JBEG art deco sapphire halo setting? I think this looks a bit more traditional while keeping the sapphires:

http://www.jewelsbyericagrace.com/get_inspired

Alternately, a JM will be just beautiful too. You can always request one of your top choices for a future RHR
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Sometimes I think setting choices are like trying to negotiate world peace! Let us know how the discussion continues...
 
Okay, first things first--that second ring you posted (single sapphire halo) just made me gasp out loud. It is so gorgeous! Does it belong to a PSer?

Moving to the topic at hand . . . I really think Deco hit the nail on the head. Most men think engagement rings = round diamond solitaire prong-set on plain band. Bucking convention can be difficult when the culture surrounding engagements and weddings and the like is so steeped in tradition and ritual. The rings you love are definitely unconventional, but they are absolutely beautiful, too!

Do you think there''s a chance your fiance-to-be will come around? He sounds like a great guy who wants you to have what you want. Perhaps seeing your eyes light up when you try on a ring you really love will make him love it, too. I would suggest you try on a bunch of different styles together--you never know what will unexpectedly look perfect on your hand.

In the end, I think you should have a ring you really, really love. If you love one that he also loves, all the better, but you are the one that will be wearing it and looking at it many times a day for many, many more years. After a while, he will likely stop really noticing it. Six months after our wedding, my DH is stunned by how quickly I notice when he doesn''t have his ring on since he never notices whether my set is on or off.

Best of luck with your ring search, and lots of engagement dust to you!
 
Both rings are lovely!!!!! Not tacky at all!

Maybe you should ask FF what specifically he doesn''t like about those rings, and you guys could come to some middle ground design that includes what you both like. Good luck!
 
I'm glad you all can sympathize! It sucks but it isn't the end of the world. There are still two other options i love and i do have a right hand. I just needed to let it out someplace where others would understand.

Things also happen for a reason, just a half hour after i posted i got an email back from the diamond vendor telling me the diamond that was in my price range was not eye clean.
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I am really in love with the second single sapphire halo. But I'm also in love with two other styles. I suppose the right one will find its way to me.

eta:yes, kittybean, it is a ps ring. Here is the link. https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/wanna-see-my-rb-w-sapphire-halo-e-ring.51308/
 
It''s interesting - I love those vintage/deco styles like the ones you posted (ooh, Fay Cullen). But I was helping my brother shop for a ring for his now-fiancee, and I pointed out a ring that looked a lot like your second photo. He started telling me how ugly he thought it was and how gaudy, overcomplicated, etc. He didn''t like the colors and that they seemed to be "taking away from" the center diamond.
He ended up selecting a beautiful, simple solitaire (which happened to be perfect for his lady).

So, I''d say Deco''s right -- men think of engagement rings as being pretty, basic solitaires, and they don''t really "get" more intricate designs a lot of the time.

I hope you find something that both of you love!
 
Love love love the rings you love
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but my SO leaned over for a look-see and just went ''nup''...

Sigh
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I dont know what to say stepcutgirl...its a pain huh? maybe they''ll grow on him though? and if not that pic you posted of the legacy-esque ring is hot to trot IMHO
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BTW i am in love with your avatar - i dont think ive seen this shot before?! Look at that cute face??! it reminds me of this emotie
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Have you tried any rings on together? The sapphire with the halo looks similar to a Tiffany''s ring so it''d be fairly easy to find if you''re in a bigger city.

When we engagement ring shopped, all online, DH ruled out several rings I liked. I ended up with one we both liked but that he liked more than I did. It''s a 1/2 carat round with tapered baguettes. I''ve never liked my engagement ring as much as he has and picked my own wedding band (5mm filigree antique eternity ring) that really couldn''t be worn together, e-ring was bought for my right hand anyhow. A few years later I got (not from DH) a 1/3 carat 1920s OEC set in so much metal with sapphires and diamonds as side stones. It''s a smaller diamond but a stunning look. It has presence on my size 7 fingers. When I wear it DH always comments that he likes it, it suits me, and the detailing is gorgeous. It took wearing them and him watching my face and reactions to overcome what he thought an engagement ring should look like.
 
I love your taste!!!! They are both stunning. But I think I can see where your boyf is coming from with the first one- while I love it, it is quite complicated- and you might grow out of loving it. The second one is quite simple and elegant, so even though it has more va va voom than a solitaire, I don t think you d outgrow it....
ps, good news re the progress!!!!
 
I love both of your choices. Good luck reaching a compromise.
 
I love the two halo rings!!!! I think you should still push for what you want. He''ll see that it''s what would make you happy! My Fiance loves contemporary Princess cut rings, I''m like you and adore vintage/art deco. He ended up buying my dream ring because he said ultimately I''m the one wearing it for the rest of my life!

Cj
 
I love the first one.
Maybe modified a bit for everyday wear
I have not seen anything similar
 
Well I''m glad my taste isn''t tacky! Thanks for making me feel better there. I could still have one of those if that is what I wanted but I would feel wierd about wearing something he really did not like. I will one day though have the single sapphire halo as a rhr.

blackpaw-that is my baby Petey. He came to me from a busted puppy mill and I work with the rescue that got him. He is a large mini poodle, oxymoron there, and he is my heart. I think he looks like he is laughing there.
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Addy-I have tried on the Tiffany Legacy in sapphire and I was smitten. SMITTEN. I''m not sure why I swayed away and kept looking for other rings. I am still struggling between a replica and a James Meyer bezel. I really don''t know which I would love more. I''m a 7.5 so I do worry about coverage, I''m going to go search for yours.


Mousey...still haven''t gotten your JM?! Yours is the one I am really just sitting around waiting for before I decide to go JM or not. Tell your bf to get on it...he is stalling me!

Thank you everyone else for your input, you all have made me feel better.
 
Date: 1/6/2010 7:54:39 PM
Author: stepcutgirl
the other one i love.
Click to expand...

One of my very best friends has this ring almost exactly (her sapphires are a darker blue though) and I can assure you that it is NOT tacky at all. She has exquisite taste and it is beautiful.
 
I''m sorry you''re frustrated. I love all the rings you posted, with my faves being the 2nd and 3rd you posted.

Guys do tend to think of the ring as a tiffany-style solitare in my experience. Do you know anyone else who has a colored stone Deco-style e-ring. Maybe when he realizes that it will help.

Alternately, does he like any of the rings you posted more than the others..."the best of the worst"
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Maybe that would be a starting point.

Does he want to pick out the ring, or do you want to pick it out together? If he wants to do it, maybe give him pics of three-four rings you like and let him take it from there. Then he''ll be proud of/like the ring and you will too (only do this if you don''t have your heart set on one particular ring or you might be disappointed
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)
 
I love the rings you posted! If I saw someone wearing one IRL, I''d probably stop them to ask them about all about it!
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The good news is that your boyfriend wants you to be happy. And the better news is that he wants to marry you. So now you just have to find a ring that both of you like.

I would recommend that you start off trying on some deco rings, with or without him. Because I found that some rings that I loved online just didn''t suit me when I actually tried them on. So you''ll find out if you really love it, or if it''s not for you. If you do it solo and find that you love them, then bring your boyfriend to those store(s) and have him see them on you in real life. That may change his perspective, or perhaps while you''re there the two of you will see things that you both like. These could either become the ring, or become inspiration for a custom job. Either way, enjoy this special time together!
 
I love the pictures you posted of the Cullen rings. I hope you and your FF can come to a compromise on what your e-ring should look like.

If he really wants you to have an all diamond ring/solitaire ring, what about a sapphire wedding band later? Katherine Heigl has this combo for her pear halo and it looks exquisite.
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Katherine Heigl''s wedding set
 
Thank you everyone. I am really glad I have posted this, it helped me vent it out and I think, think being the key word here, that I have worked through it and it has been helpful to hear the feedback.

My bf doesn''t care what ring I get and he likes the legacy sapphire replica I posted. I have tried on a sapphire legacy and I loved it. As far as the actual ring goes he has given me free range to get whatever i want. We will be getting the ring custom made together with me doing pretty much most of it. I actually really like this rather than him getting the ring without my help.
 
Fay Cullen has gotten decidedly mixed reviews here, but since you're planning on custom designing your own ring maybe something like this would be a good compromise?

Deco sapphire e-ring

ETA:

Another one you may want to consider as some design inspiration.
 
stepcut - I''m glad to hear you are making progress. I agree with some of the others that I think he probably has this traditional idea of what engagement rings are supposed to look like, and this probably doesn''t fall in that idea. I''d give him some time, and also try to find a place where he could see a ring like this in person.
 
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