EVIL Girlfirend

[chantal990]

Hi,

My FI and I have a very close friend who is going to be asked to be best man. The problem is his girlfriend. They have a fairly serious relationship as in they are living together and they own the house they are living in so it doesn''t look like ending any time soon. The problem is I can''t stand her, my FI can''t stand her none of our friends can stand her she truely is one of the evilest things to drag itself up from the depths of hell.

I don''t want her at the wedding. I have been dragged into having scenes with her before (like the fact that I would rather have my sister as a bridesmaid than her) and I really don''t like it. She''s a stuck up little drama queen that brags to everyone (including his family) how easily she manipultes my friend and she is a qualified psycho.She is a drama quenn that starts fights with people to create drama if there is no drama in her life. She gets off on the attention not carimg who she hurts.

Now my issue is this how do I get him to come and leave her at home? I know he''s a bit sick of her but they have the house together and so he won''t leave her or anything and it''s so not my place to demand it. It''s just that I know if she comes to the wedding she will start a fight or create a scene or something horrid. How can I tell him to leave her at home?

 

[Kamuelamom]

EG, I''m sorry to hear about your dilemma. The bottom line is that a live-in-own-a-house-together relationship is serious (in my value system, anyway). I don''t think you can ask him to be your best man and avoid her attending at the same time. I just don''t see how that''s possible.

This is a tough one. I feel even more sorry for him should he decide that he no longer wants a relationship with her. She sounds scary.

Good luck and I hope you can figure things out. I''m sorry to be of no help.

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

I would tell him that you really want him in your wedding. However, due to his GF''s past behavior that she is to stay home. Don''t let her ruin your wedding!! Tell her exactly why she is not invited.
Good luck.

 

[chantal990]

She is scary. She has made it her life''s work to seperate him from his friends and family and he can see it happening he''s just not sure how to stop it. He has been hiding out at my FI''s a bit lately and I think she''s really starting to scare him so I feel so bad for him. I just really don''t want to see her at all. There''s also the fact that one of my best friends is this guys younger sister who will probably start a skank fight as soon as she sees her we have been able to keep them apart for the last few months but my mate has a really hasty temper and will go her like a pitbull as soon as she sees her.

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

Emeraldgirl, my best friend is a guy. His GF hates it. She has forbiden him to see me(he ingores her) she has came to my job twice starting stuff with me. He showed up both times which made her madder. He has told her he''s not giving me up and if she wants him so bad she has to accept. She is back and forth about it. They have broken up so many times and now they just had a baby together so she''s not going away. But he is the one that has put his foot down concerning her. She knows she isn''t aloud at my house or any function I''m having. Your friend needs to put his foot down also. She may not be going away anytime soon so be firm. Leave the Drama Queen at home!! I am considering having him as my MAN OF HONOR and she sure as heck isn''t coming to my wedding!!!

 

[fire&ice]

Proper etiquette is to invite her. She's basically his common law wife. I feel for you; but, not inviting her will probably incite *more* drama. Then it becomes all about *her*.

Invite her & kill her with kindness. She will really wonder what's up. And, adding a little drama at a wedding spices thing up.

The drama at my wedding is still a story I tell.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 1/24/2005 12

9:48 PM
Author: fire&ice
Proper etiquette is to invite her.

F&I is right. There is no courteous, or even civilized, way out of inviting her. Perhaps your fiancé could speak to her boyfriend privately in advance and ask him to try to keep things calm.

If she makes a scene you and your family and friends can continue to act dignified. It will be she who is shamed, not you, and it will just be a colorful memory that she made a fool out of herself. It WILL NOT ruin your wedding! (I feel for you, too, though!!)

Hugs,
Deb

 

[Libster]

Date: 1/24/2005 12

9:48 PM
Author: fire&ice
Proper etiquette is to invite her. She''s basically his common law wife. I feel for you; but, not inviting her will probably incite *more* drama. Then it becomes all about *her*.

Invite her & kill her with kindness. She will really wonder what''s up. And, adding a little drama at a wedding spices thing up.

The drama at my wedding is still a story I tell.

You''ve got enough to worry about when planning a wedding, and don''t need a hassel like this. F&I is correct, if she is that entangled with him, proper etiquette dictates she should be invited. Maybe you could assign someone to watch out for her and keep her in line so she can''t do anything to ruin your day? Try to not give her much energy if possible and just forget that she is there. I know it''s easier said than done. Good luck!

 

[blueroses]

I agree with the previous posters, unfortunately. But you could at least address the invite as:

"Mr. Best Man and guest"

vs.

"Mr. Best Man and Ms. Psycho hosebeast from Hell"

Petty, perhaps, but the net of it is the same: she ends up there in terms of appropriate manners, but you can explicitly omit her name from the envelope and the subtext is clear?

 

[onedrop]

I have to chime in with what has been said before, as the Best Man and the "evil girl" are a package deal given the living situation.

However even if she is an invited guest, I would have no problem having her escorted out of the venue on your wedding day if she starts making trouble. In fact you could have a trusted friend/family member who is good at handling volatile situations to do the deed.

That way you don''t have to even worry about her spoiling your day.

Just my $.02.

 

[Kaleigh]

Eg,
What a terrible position you''re in. That''s the last thing you need to be worring about on your special day. I like what Libster and onedrop offered. Have someone who can watch over her and if any problems arise they can be delt with!! Just my 0.20

 

[fancycoloredfan]

I think if you and your FI want him to be the best man no matter what, you need to ask him that - but tell him his girlfriend is not welcome. I''m sorry - but it''s his problem not yours.

Why invite her and make it your problem and ruin your big day? It''s obviously causing you stress and trust me, I know a LOT of people like that.

If he''s a dear friend to you - who cares if they have a house together. A house is just property. it can be bought or sold at anytime.

I''m just saying - you should be clear how you and your FI feel and perhaps this will help him faces issues i.e. his girfriend is a psycho b**** that no one likes, including him.

 

[chantal990]

It may not be an issue. I spoke to him this morning and he knows how I feel and also how my FI feels (he''s REALLY against her being there). I haven''t actually banned her but he did ask if I was ok if she was there and I told him that it''s up to him who his date will be. He has confessed that he is trapped. He doesn''t really love her any more but they own a house. I sense a breakup in the air. He told me this morning he has a bank appointment to see if he can get the cash to buy out her share of the house. Hopefully he can and he can get her out of his life. He has found out that she has been chatting up other guys and she''s swearing that all she''s doen is kiss one of them once but no one really knows what to belive from her. Lesson he has learned "If someone leaves their current partner for you cause you are a better deal chances are they''ll leave you when they find a better deal than you"

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

Date: 1/24/2005 6:10:10 PM
Author: blueroses
I agree with the previous posters, unfortunately. But you could at least address the invite as:

''Mr. Best Man and guest''

vs.

''Mr. Best Man and Ms. Psycho hosebeast from Hell''

Petty, perhaps, but the net of it is the same: she ends up there in terms of appropriate manners, but you can explicitly omit her name from the envelope and the subtext is clear?

OH Please address it Ms. Psycho hosebeast from Hell. and post us a copy of her rsvp card!!!

 

[chantal990]

Well it''s official they have split YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shouldn''t be so happy about it but it''s hard not to be when he''s bouncing off the walls with joy So hopefully it won''t be an issue as now I have no need to invite her (although she had the nerve to ask to be a BM anyway uh yeah as if) So here''s hoping they don''t get back together ( fingers crossed) and that it can all have a happy ending where we do our thing and she gets out of everyones life and goes and does hers (what do nutball skanks do with their time anyway?)

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

Date: 1/30/2005 8:18:38 PM
Author: Emeraldgirl
Well it''s official they have split YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shouldn''t be so happy about it but it''s hard not to be when he''s bouncing off the walls with joy So hopefully it won''t be an issue as now I have no need to invite her (although she had the nerve to ask to be a BM anyway uh yeah as if) So here''s hoping they don''t get back together ( fingers crossed) and that it can all have a happy ending where we do our thing and she gets out of everyones life and goes and does hers (what do nutball skanks do with their time anyway?)

 

[Erin]

She asked if she could be a bridesmaid?

Who does that?

 

[chantal990]

Date: 1/31/2005 10:26:44 AM
Author: Erin
She asked if she could be a bridesmaid?

Who does that?

A dirty little skank who has no manners that who.

 

[blueroses]

Well HooRAY!!!!!!


And I''m with Erin, that is just unbelievable--it would be insane to ask even if she were your friend, which she''s not!! (Did she ask pre or post break-up? What did you say!!!?)

Whew! By the time the invites go out, she will either be 1) long gone (PLEEEEASE) or 2) even if they get back together, you have a legitimate reason to exclude her! But I hope she''s gone for good. Good riddance!!!!

 

[chantal990]

Post break up. Which is good cause I didn''t have to be civil to her. She called me last night to tell me that although they have broken up (YAY) and although she hates all his friends (inc. My FI) she would be happy to be part of my wedding party as she has never been to Hawaii and it sounds like fun. Mind you this had NEVER been discussed between us before and she knew that I like all his other friends can''t stand her and were only polite to her to save everyone drama but this time I could let rip and I not so politely told her where she could shove it

. I also let rip a few other choice thoughts on a few other incidents from the past couple of years. There is no chance of them getting back together she''s already screwing over some other poor guy.

 

[blueroses]

EG, that is insane!!! she''s completely delusional and self-serving and....well, I guess you know better than all of us, but WHOA, the gall of that woman! That just shocks me. I''ll bet if felt good to get all of that off your chest!!

 

[chantal990]

Oh yeah it was such a relief to have it all out in the open. She even had the nerve to ask if she can bring her new guy (otherwise known as Sucker) Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. Like the stunt she pulled at her now ex''s birthday wasn''t bad enough.

It was in December and it was a family & close friends BBQ for for the original BF''s(my mate) b''day so what does this model of skankiness do????? Invites the new guy along !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After telling her BF (my mate) that she had kissed this guy. So this new guy is sitting outside feeling pretty uncomfitable (don''t really blame him) and she''s swearing up and down to everyone else that he is just an old school friend and telling him he should come inside. Ii was only later that we found out she''d been kissing him (as she had already told her BF) and she thinks she''s in love with him. But then she thinks she''s in love with everyone. She met another one of my firends for a whole of 1 hour and was in love with him for a while she is completely nuts and good bye to bad rubbish

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

emeraldgirl, did you ever see the movie ''Carrie''? Grab yourself some pigs blood, tell the psycho bitch from hell your having a dress rehersal and....well, just recreate the prom scene.

 

[chantal990]

Date: 2/2/2005 2

0:50 PM
Author: BLINGQUEEN
emeraldgirl, did you ever see the movie ''Carrie''? Grab yourself some pigs blood, tell the psycho bitch from hell your having a dress rehersal and....well, just recreate the prom scene.

I was thinking more of a mean girls style make over (especially the par of giving her carb bars and telling her they''re diet ones) I honestly think though that time will be the best revenge. As she always wants to "upgrade to a better guy" (translate he who earns more $$$$$) she will get screwed over in the end. Another idea will be to invite her to be a bridesmaid but while everyone elses have the nice tasteful dress that we have chosen together and everyone is happy with cause you really can''t go wrong with the standard a-line long skirt and strapless top combo she and only she can end up in a hot pink dress with life saver sleeves and a huge butt bow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

Date: 2/2/2005 11:38

6 PM
Author: Emeraldgirl

Date: 2/2/2005 2

0:50 PM
Author: BLINGQUEEN
emeraldgirl, did you ever see the movie ''Carrie''? Grab yourself some pigs blood, tell the psycho bitch from hell your having a dress rehersal and....well, just recreate the prom scene.

I was thinking more of a mean girls style make over (especially the par of giving her carb bars and telling her they''re diet ones) I honestly think though that time will be the best revenge. As she always wants to ''upgrade to a better guy'' (translate he who earns more $$$$$) she will get screwed over in the end. Another idea will be to invite her to be a bridesmaid but while everyone elses have the nice tasteful dress that we have chosen together and everyone is happy with cause you really can''t go wrong with the standard a-line long skirt and strapless top combo she and only she can end up in a hot pink dress with life saver sleeves and a huge butt bow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew there was something about you I liked

 

[AGBF]

Congratulations, Emeraldgirl .

Deb