Ever wish you had people repellant?

[Indylady]

I''m sitting in my office, working..and this guy keeps stopping by my office for no reason. We are not friends and I just started working yesterday, and only even met him today. He doesn''t even work on my floor! I have a lot to do and I wish he''d stay away. If he comes by one more time, I''m going to start talking about my SO and our future wedding colors.

Can anyone commiserate?

Offer tips on how to keep someone away from your office?

 

[monarch64]

I like to give people like your co-worker a chilly expression and say "don''t you have any work to do?"

I have similar issues with "chatters" at work. So annoying.

 

[iheartscience]

I like to think of my personality as people repellent.

I typically have no problem with anyone harassing or bothering me, ever. It''s because I''m not friendly to people I don''t want to talk to and I''m perfectly fine breaking social norms (for example, completely ignoring someone) if I need to. If you''re not friendly to people like that, they''ll typically get the hint. Obviously if he''s a superior it''s a little trickier, but if you just keep looking at your computer intently and not answering him when he talks to you I bet he''ll go away.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/15/2010 10:53:34 AM
Author: thing2of2
I like to think of my personality as people repellent.

I typically have no problem with anyone harassing or bothering me, ever. It''s because I''m not friendly to people I don''t want to talk to and I''m perfectly fine breaking social norms (for example, completely ignoring someone) if I need to. If you''re not friendly to people like that, they''ll typically get the hint. Obviously if he''s a superior it''s a little trickier, but if you just keep looking at your computer intently and not answering him when he talks to you I bet he''ll go away.

Yeah...well...retail ruined me. I once received a review in which I was described as "unapproachable." After that I had to stop with the natural people repellent and be nice.

 

[joflier]

I have this problem too. It is so freaking annoying. I usually just don''t make eye contact and give really short 1 word answers. Sometimes I just get up and walk away. They just don''t GET it. I dislike being rude, but that''s the only way I get free. So rude it is. And honestly, some of them still don''t get it. Sometimes if it''s really bad, I''ll have my cell in my hand under the desk and call myself on the office phone.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/15/2010 11:00:39 AM
Author: joflier
I have this problem too. It is so freaking annoying. I usually just don''t make eye contact and give really short 1 word answers. Sometimes I just get up and walk away. They just don''t GET it. I dislike being rude, but that''s the only way I get free. So rude it is. And honestly, some of them still don''t get it. Sometimes if it''s really bad, I''ll have my cell in my hand under the desk and call myself on the office phone.

Bahahahaha! That''s fantastic! I''m stealing that idea, Jo, for the next time a hover-er appears.

 

[janinegirly]

Yes!! At least you have an office and at least it''s flirting (by the sounds of it?). We have an open floor and there are some personality types which don''t mix. For example I like to work quietly and get a ton done. Person next to me likes to do zero and talk absoultely useless dribble.

 

[dragonfly411]

I have this problem with ex friends trying to contact me. It drives me crazy. I really want repellent for that.

 

[joflier]

Date: 6/15/2010 11:09:21 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 6/15/2010 11:00:39 AM
Author: joflier
I have this problem too. It is so freaking annoying. I usually just don''t make eye contact and give really short 1 word answers. Sometimes I just get up and walk away. They just don''t GET it. I dislike being rude, but that''s the only way I get free. So rude it is. And honestly, some of them still don''t get it. Sometimes if it''s really bad, I''ll have my cell in my hand under the desk and call myself on the office phone.

Bahahahaha! That''s fantastic! I''m stealing that idea, Jo, for the next time a hover-er appears.

It''s sooooo affective! haha.

"Oh - gotta go - important call coming in!"

 

[Indylady]

Hehe Monnie, I like your idea! I''m usually ok with being direct, but its sort of awkward because I feel like interns are supposed to...listen? Be obliging?

Thing2, I like your no nonsense style.

Jolifer, I hate to say it since I''m a big fan of being direct, but I think that''s a great idea! I might just have to do that.

Janine, I hope that its not flirting! He''s at least 15-20 years older than me. I''m putting up a picture of me and my SO in an effort to decimate any possible interest. I also like working quietly. Especially since I''m new, I want to make sure I''m on top of all of my work.

 

[monarch64]

Oh Indy, don''t think the age difference will dissuade him. Don''t give him any ins whatsoever. Even putting up pics of you and your SO will just give him an invitation to make conversation about it. I suggest no eye contact and getting on the phone every time he appears. Seriously--I know the type.

 

[joflier]

Date: 6/15/2010 11:29:53 AM
Author: monarch64
Oh Indy, don''t think the age difference will dissuade him. Don''t give him any ins whatsoever. Even putting up pics of you and your SO will just give him an invitation to make conversation about it. I suggest no eye contact and getting on the phone every time he appears. Seriously--I know the type.

Agree with all this. The age difference is nil.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 6/15/2010 11:22:42 AM
Author: IndyLady
Hehe Monnie, I like your idea! I''m usually ok with being direct, but its sort of awkward because I feel like interns are supposed to...listen? Be obliging?

Thing2, I like your no nonsense style.

Jolifer, I hate to say it since I''m a big fan of being direct, but I think that''s a great idea! I might just have to do that.

Janine, I hope that its not flirting! He''s at least 15-20 years older than me. I''m putting up a picture of me and my SO in an effort to decimate any possible interest. I also like working quietly. Especially since I''m new, I want to make sure I''m on top of all of my work.

Could you just tell him "Oh sorry-I can''t chat right now-I have so much work to do!" and then turn to your computer/papers and start doing it? It''s not a lie and it''s not rude, but it is direct. I understand you don''t want to get off on the wrong foot as an intern, but it sounds like he''s being inappropriate so I''d cut him off as much as possible.

 

[tigian]

Hi Indy,
Immediately start mentioning your SO...even if he is older, he is probably feeling you out since you are new. Or I might say, "Since I''m new, I want to make sure I''m getting everything done here. You understand, right?" Then smile and turn your back to him.

 

[Haven]

I love the idea of people repellent.

I had a coworker who would chit chat away our entire 90 minute planning period if I allowed it. Once I was desperate to get some essays graded, so I told him that he''d have to grade them with me after school if he didn''t stop talking to me. He shut it. There''s nothing scarier than grading a hundred junior English essays.

I had another coworker who wore headphones in his ears all the time and tucked them into his pants pocket. There was never an iPod on the other end, he just learned that it was the best way to get people to leave him alone.

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 6/15/2010 11:34:07 AM
Author: joflier

Date: 6/15/2010 11:29:53 AM
Author: monarch64
Oh Indy, don't think the age difference will dissuade him. Don't give him any ins whatsoever. Even putting up pics of you and your SO will just give him an invitation to make conversation about it. I suggest no eye contact and getting on the phone every time he appears. Seriously--I know the type.

Agree with all this. The age difference is nil.

BIL and his wife are 15 years apart and met at work. She was 23 at the time. Beware!

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 6/15/2010 11:43:04 AM
Author: Haven
I love the idea of people repellent.

I had a coworker who would chit chat away our entire 90 minute planning period if I allowed it. Once I was desperate to get some essays graded, so I told him that he''d have to grade them with me after school if he didn''t stop talking to me. He shut it. There''s nothing scarier than grading a hundred junior English essays.

I had another coworker who wore headphones in his ears all the time and tucked them into his pants pocket. There was never an iPod on the other end, he just learned that it was the best way to get people to leave him alone.

That''s hilarious! Also a good way to act like you don''t hear people (since some people will still try to talk to you, even when you have headphones on).

 

[kenny]

Eat beans, fart loudly, grin and giggle every time he shows up.

If that doesn't work pick nose.

If that doesn't work . . . oh never mind.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

For the most part I do. People rarely chat with me at work and while I am polite with the customers, they never stay on wanting to be my friend as with many of the others. However, we have a very open floor plan, so even if people are not talking to me, they complain all the time around me. I sit in a corner and have my Ipod in just so I don''t have to listen to them. The job is not great, but it is much harder to be positive when everyone around just can''t talk about anything else.

 

[luckynumber]

Date: 6/15/2010 10:53:34 AM
Author: thing2of2
I like to think of my personality as people repellent.

I typically have no problem with anyone harassing or bothering me, ever. It''s because I''m not friendly to people I don''t want to talk to and I''m perfectly fine breaking social norms (for example, completely ignoring someone) if I need to. If you''re not friendly to people like that, they''ll typically get the hint. Obviously if he''s a superior it''s a little trickier, but if you just keep looking at your computer intently and not answering him when he talks to you I bet he''ll go away.

OMG.

i''ve found my long lost twin.....

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 6/15/2010 2:29:45 PM
Author: luckynumber

Date: 6/15/2010 10:53:34 AM
Author: thing2of2
I like to think of my personality as people repellent.

I typically have no problem with anyone harassing or bothering me, ever. It''s because I''m not friendly to people I don''t want to talk to and I''m perfectly fine breaking social norms (for example, completely ignoring someone) if I need to. If you''re not friendly to people like that, they''ll typically get the hint. Obviously if he''s a superior it''s a little trickier, but if you just keep looking at your computer intently and not answering him when he talks to you I bet he''ll go away.

OMG.

i''ve found my long lost twin.....

LOL, perfect. I must''ve missed that post.

 

[Indylady]

Thing2 and Tigian, I like the idea of saying I have a lot of work to do!

Haven, the Ipod idea is a good idea too! Haha, that is hilarious. I wonder what he must have overheard when people assumed he was listening to music and couldn''t hear!

Last time he was here, he actually asked exactly what I had to do and commented that I didn''t have much and hopes that my boss won''t keep me all to herself.

Monnie, I think you nailed his type. Is there a barfing emotie?

 

[monarch64]

Date: 6/15/2010 3:21:33 PM
Author: IndyLady
Thing2 and Tigian, I like the idea of saying I have a lot of work to do!

Haven, the Ipod idea is a good idea too! Haha, that is hilarious. I wonder what he must have overheard when people assumed he was listening to music and couldn''t hear!

Last time he was here, he actually asked exactly what I had to do and commented that I didn''t have much and hopes that my boss won''t keep me all to herself.

Monnie, I think you nailed his type. Is there a barfing emotie?

Oh, gag. I think I would ask your boss whether it''s typical for someone from an entirely different floor FOR EXAMPLE, THIS GUY to be visiting others so often. Gag gag gag. The office is NOT for hitting on people, nor is it appropriate for that kind of guy to make power play comments like the one about hoping your boss doesn''t keep you all to herself.

Hopefully he''ll get run over by a train tonight.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 6/15/2010 2:44:12 PM
Author: janinegirly

Date: 6/15/2010 2:29:45 PM

Author: luckynumber

Date: 6/15/2010 10:53:34 AM

Author: thing2of2

I like to think of my personality as people repellent.

I typically have no problem with anyone harassing or bothering me, ever. It''s because I''m not friendly to people I don''t want to talk to and I''m perfectly fine breaking social norms (for example, completely ignoring someone) if I need to. If you''re not friendly to people like that, they''ll typically get the hint. Obviously if he''s a superior it''s a little trickier, but if you just keep looking at your computer intently and not answering him when he talks to you I bet he''ll go away.

OMG.

i''ve found my long lost twin.....

LOL, perfect. I must''ve missed that post.

I knew there were more of us out there! I never get hit on, either, and I like to tell myself it''s not because I''m hideously ugly!

 

[HollyS]

I can commiserate.

I just act annoyed, generally bitchy, and they go "Whoa! Maybe I don''t want to know her!"

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/15/2010 3:46:47 PM
Author: monarch64

Date: 6/15/2010 3:21:33 PM
Author: IndyLady
Thing2 and Tigian, I like the idea of saying I have a lot of work to do!

Haven, the Ipod idea is a good idea too! Haha, that is hilarious. I wonder what he must have overheard when people assumed he was listening to music and couldn''t hear!

Last time he was here, he actually asked exactly what I had to do and commented that I didn''t have much and hopes that my boss won''t keep me all to herself.

Monnie, I think you nailed his type. Is there a barfing emotie?

Oh, gag. I think I would ask your boss whether it''s typical for someone from an entirely different floor FOR EXAMPLE, THIS GUY to be visiting others so often. Gag gag gag. The office is NOT for hitting on people, nor is it appropriate for that kind of guy to make power play comments like the one about hoping your boss doesn''t keep you all to herself.

Hopefully he''ll get run over by a train tonight.

Totally agreed.

Also, ITA with the people that say put on your witchy (with a b) face. I had one guy start to act a little inappropriate with me, and I turned on the Ice Queen act like nothing he''d ever seen before. I''m friendly and chatty as long as everything is work appropriate - once a line has been crossed, the freeze goes on until they behave. I just don''t want to get caught up in any of the office gossip - I''d like to be known more for my work than anything else, KWIM?

 

[Haven]

I agree that it''s best to put a stop to this guy''s behavior ASAP. Hitting on ANYONE at work is just gross, IMO, unless your Jim Halperin. And then it''s okay.

I like to do a couple things when guys are inappropriately hitting on me:

- If he touches me (my shoulder or arm or anything) I immediately turn my head and glare at his hand, wherever it is. After doing that for long enough to make him uncomfortable I then turn my head to his face and glare at him, and then back at his hand if he''s an idiot and hasn''t yet removed it. (This doesn''t happen often, but I''ve met a few older administrators who are too touchy for my taste.)

- If he invades my personal space I straighten up very quickly and take a big step back, and then give him a solid glare.

- If he talks to me when I don''t want him around, I make this face where I turn my mouth down a bit, lean my head forward and bent down a touch, and arch my eyebrows in an "I''m listening but the fact that your speaking is annoying me" type of way. It''s hard to describe, but if you have younger siblings, you know what I mean because you''ve probably made this face a thousand times.

- If he''s too stupid to pick up on any of this I look him straight in the face and say "I really don''t have time to chat. Have a nice day" and just give him the "as if" look until he buggers off.

I guess it all boils down to giving him the stink eye and being silent long enough to make him uncomfortable. I''ve learned that people really don''t like silence when they''re trying to talk to someone, so it typically doesn''t take much time.

Sorry you have to deal with this at a new job. I hope he gets the hint soon!

 

[qtiekiki]

Oh I can totally commiserate. There was a guy just like that guy at my work when I first started. He would come by my cube and chit-chat. I would just answer with my back toward him while doing my work. He didn''t get the hint. What is really weird was that I was pregnant and showing then, but he would invite me to picnics and parties with his friends. I also found out from this other girl who started at the same time as me that he was asking her how come I don''t wear a wedding band. He said to her "maybe she is having marriage problem." It was weird. I don''t know what he was thinking. So I started talking constantly about my DH. Eventually he backed off and stopped coming by.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I had a guy in high school who wouldn''t leave me alone. He used to come up behind me on the computer and ask what I was doing and keep bugging me, he even called during Bronco games

Finally when he asked me what I was looking at online one day I told him "autoerotic asphyxiation". He left me alone after that.
Other options include genital herpes, embarrassing rashes, hiding a body, sexual harassment laws, self defense when being sexual harassed, etc.

 

[marcy]

Your title made me laugh and yes I''d love to have one.