Ever feel let down after Christmas?

[oobiecoo]

I get so excited for Christmas and start planning for it in the summer as far as where we''re going to be, our budget, ideas for gifts, etc. I love putting up the tree and listening to Christmas music. But every year, once Christmas is over, I feel like it wasn''t as spectacular as I had hoped. This year was a little better... I think because we were with a lot of DHs family (my family is small and spread out so we rarely spent holidays with family) and because of the excitement of being pregnant (best Christmas gift EVER). Maybe I just need to tone down my expectations and planning lol.

Just wondering if anyone else ever feels thats way or if I''m all alone

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I used to be that way except I would do it with my birthday. It''s in the summer, 2 days after july 4th, so I always figured if I planned something big people would come celebrate with me. It always ended up only 1 or 2 people would spend it with me as most people were at the lakes. Now I''ve gotten to the point where I really don''t care. If something fun happens it''s just a bonus, but I''m happy going for a piece of cake with dh somewhere and then watching a movie at home

Lowering your expectations will drastically reduce your stress and disappointment I have found!

P.S. Congrats on the little xmas present you have in the oven

 

[kenny]

Yes, I used to.

The holidays can be a rollercoaster.
I don't let mine go too high, so afterwards it doesn't go too low.

Keep things reasonable.

 

[elrohwen]

Congrats on being preggers!!!

I don''t really feel much of a letdown, but I have really low expectations. Lol. I didn''t even decorate my house this year because I was lazy and we knew we wouldn''t be around much.

DH does feel the let down though. This year we spent the week before Christmas with family and left on Saturday and DH really liked that - he said sticking around after Christmas is always so boring.

 

[joflier]

I usually love Christmas, but this year was really hard and I just kinda lost my Christmas spirit. I went to my family dinner, hoping to snap out of it and have a great day. But I just left early - something about it was just really depressing and I just wanted to be by myself. I'm sorry you felt an after Christmas letdown. But it sounds like you have a LOT to celebrate!!!! Congrats! Kenny said it well - the holidays are a roller coaster! Hoping next year to be better.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Congrats on your pregnancy!

I think a lot of people "crash" after the holidays. The excitement is over, we all realize how much we spent, and also may be hurt over family not living up to our expectations. This is the first year out of many that I haven't felt post-holiday letdown, but that is because I've had a few terrible things happen in Dec. so I never even had the holiday high that I normally have. I also took the advice of those on PS in not expecting very much out of people. This year I decided that a few specific people would not help in the ways I asked them and soooo, when they didn't I wasn't surprised! That made things much easier on me.

 

[tlh]

nope, I''m only a bit sad when the radio stations and shopping centers stop playing christmas/holiday music.

congrats on being pregnant... what a wonderful gift indeed!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I used to, but this year I stole Tacori''s mantra and had no expectations and it was so much better. I didn''t expect to have a great time or to get just the right gift for the exchange, etc. and I actually (gasp) enjoyed myself. Even with spending way too much time with the in-laws.

My #1 focus this year was to make sure that my son had the best Christmas possible and he did

 

[Mara]

typically i do have a bit of a xmas post-partem...but i think that this year we toned it way down... on gifts, expectations, etc because i am so hugely pregnant. so we didn''t decorate as much, didn''t put up as many lights, bought not many gifts, didn''t send cards out, etc etc. so i think there was less of an xmas buildup than typically which helped on the let down as well. plus we are getting so close to the upcoming baby that i think we are just focusing there more, like what needs to get done, how much time we have left, etc etc.

it''s funny but i have found that expectations factor hugely into feeling let down later. if you don''t really have expectations, you are almost always pleasantly surprised hahaa.

 

[Steel]

I know what you mean.

But honestly, I am so keen to get this year over and done with that Christmas couldn''t have come and gone quickly enough for me. Roll on 2010.

 

[monarch64]

Eh, I don''t need Christmas to be "spectacular." I''d rather if was super low-key, if anything. I think anytime you place so much importance on one day (whether it''s Christmas, a birthday, a wedding) you are going to experience a letdown after the fact. The fewer expectations you have going in, as others have stated and quoted Tacori here, the less letdown you seem to experience.

I''m all about New Year''s. It''s something to look forward to after the December holidays and a reason to get dressed up when it''s cold and yucky outside. Then it''s Superbowl Sunday, another excuse to get together with friends/family and enjoy indoor fun. St. Pat''s Day, then April...then it starts to warm up...then summer! I just try to keep looking forward to things so I don''t get stuck in the cabin fever mentality that seems to take over here in the midwest each winter.

 

[decodelighted]

I''m usually pretty conscious of keeping my expectations in check .. but I did get a bit blindsided this year by our every-other-year family gathering. Its left me so upset I''m really considering not going to the next one - or maybe the next SEVERAL.

Scene: One big rental house in the middle of an epic snowstorm. I have a lot of siblings and now two of them have four very small kids. And another sibling has become very argumentative & has a partner who is equally argumentative. I spent the entire week hiding from a) feral kid chaos b) douchey adult chaos c) folks playing video games d) excessive cooking & housework keeping up with a/b/c. The only time I really enjoyed myself was when I woke up in the middle of the night and watched TV & ate cake BY MYSELF.

The dynamics have changed so much in just a couple of years. Now there''s no time to spend with my sisters (because they are wholly absorbed by their kids -or- too tired when the kids are "down" for naps/night). No time to spend with my DH, who is down a videogame rabbit hole with the other dudes in the house. And no place to hide from the constant political skirmishes and DRAMZ created by the various factions that have developed. I''m exhausted by my "vacation" and so sad that its going to be like this for years & years to come. DH & I even discussed going for a shorter period of time in the future but he thinks its too far to travel for less than the whole week. Great. All or nothing. No escape.

Yes I''m grateful everyone arrived safely & that my parents are both around & happy to see all their kids/grandkids together under one roof ... and that we have the relative luxury to even afford this kind of trip in the first place. Blah. Blah. Humbug.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/28/2009 2:01:12 PM
Author: decodelighted
I''m usually pretty conscious of keeping my expectations in check .. but I did get a bit blindsided this year by our every-other-year family gathering. Its left me so upset I''m really considering not going to the next one - or maybe the next SEVERAL.

Scene: One big rental house in the middle of an epic snowstorm. I have a lot of siblings and now two of them have four very small kids. And another sibling has become very argumentative & has a partner who is equally argumentative. I spent the entire week hiding from a) feral kid chaos b) douchey adult chaos c) folks playing video games d) excessive cooking & housework keeping up with a/b/c. The only time I really enjoyed myself was when I woke up in the middle of the night and watched TV & ate cake BY MYSELF.

The dynamics have changed so much in just a couple of years. Now there''s no time to spend with my sisters (because they are wholly absorbed by their kids -or- too tired when the kids are ''down'' for naps/night). No time to spend with my DH, who is down a videogame rabbit hole with the other dudes in the house. And no place to hide from the constant political skirmishes and DRAMZ created by the various factions that have developed. I''m exhausted by my ''vacation'' and so sad that its going to be like this for years & years to come. DH & I even discussed going for a shorter period of time in the future but he thinks its too far to travel for less than the whole week. Great. All or nothing. No escape.

Yes I''m grateful everyone arrived safely & that my parents are both around & happy to see all their kids/grandkids together under one roof ... and that we have the relative luxury to even afford this kind of trip in the first place. Blah. Blah. Humbug.

Deco, I say the best time to have large family get togethers is when it''s warm outside and you can escape the insanity. That is why Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Labor Day will ALWAYS be my favorite holidays.

 

[kenny]

Date: 12/28/2009 2:01:12 PM
Author: decodelighted
I'm usually pretty conscious of keeping my expectations in check .. but I did get a bit blindsided this year by our every-other-year family gathering. Its left me so upset I'm really considering not going to the next one - or maybe the next SEVERAL.


Scene: One big rental house in the middle of an epic snowstorm. I have a lot of siblings and now two of them have four very small kids. And another sibling has become very argumentative & has a partner who is equally argumentative. I spent the entire week hiding from a) feral kid chaos b) douchey adult chaos c) folks playing video games d) excessive cooking & housework keeping up with a/b/c. The only time I really enjoyed myself was when I woke up in the middle of the night and watched TV & ate cake BY MYSELF.


The dynamics have changed so much in just a couple of years. Now there's no time to spend with my sisters (because they are wholly absorbed by their kids -or- too tired when the kids are 'down' for naps/night). No time to spend with my DH, who is down a videogame rabbit hole with the other dudes in the house. And no place to hide from the constant political skirmishes and DRAMZ created by the various factions that have developed. I'm exhausted by my 'vacation' and so sad that its going to be like this for years & years to come. DH & I even discussed going for a shorter period of time in the future but he thinks its too far to travel for less than the whole week. Great. All or nothing. No escape.


Yes I'm grateful everyone arrived safely & that my parents are both around & happy to see all their kids/grandkids together under one roof ... and that we have the relative luxury to even afford this kind of trip in the first place. Blah. Blah. Humbug.

Just don't go.
Just say no.

Your account is in no way unique, yet almost everyone seems to feel they have no choice about attending such gatherings.

Don't do things you don't want to do.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 12/28/2009 2:10:19 PM
Author: kenny
Just don't go. Just say no.

This is my takeaway for sure. I'm sorry we didn't leave the first night we we realized after a 10 hr drive & 2 1/2 feet of snow that we were assigned a room with BUNKBEDS. The middle-aged married chunksters got BUNK BEDS. Because, you know, the families should have the luxurious master suites with jacuzzi tubs and walk-in multi head showers.

ETA: If I'd *known* it was going to be as it was I *wouldn't* have gone. Two years ago and four years ago, and six years ago the trips were GREAT fun. But I'm afraid those times are over -- for a decade or so.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 12/28/2009 1:30:48 PM
Author: DivaDiamond007
I used to, but this year I stole Tacori''s mantra and had no expectations and it was so much better. I didn''t expect to have a great time or to get just the right gift for the exchange, etc. and I actually (gasp) enjoyed myself. Even with spending way too much time with the in-laws.

My #1 focus this year was to make sure that my son had the best Christmas possible and he did

Yay! Glad I could inspire you

I always say 100% hope, 0% expectations. It is hard to do but makes life so much better when you can truly live like that.

 

[steph72276]

No way! I''m glad all the holidays are over for a while. I always try to do too much and end up stressing myself. Between all the shopping, wrapping, cooking, cleaning, entertaining, etc. I am exhausted. I loved seeing my son''s face on Christmas morning, but man I am ready to get back into a regular routine! Congrats on your pregnancy!

 

[Prana]

I never feel let down, but I always feel very very sad when Christmas is over.

 

[radiantquest]

I usually take my tree down on the 26th. I hate it when you hear Christmas music the day afer halloween and all the stores have had their decorations up for 3 months already. I do get kind of in the spirit, but as soon as Christmas is over I want it all gone!

Some parts of me still get excited like a little kid and I used to get really let down until I realized that there wasn''t one special gift that I did not get and I do not believe in santa anymore so there is no need for such excitement or such a let down.

This year was much better for me.

Is it just me or does it seem that Christmas was 2 weeks ago? I know it was only 3 days ago, but for some reason it seems so long ago.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 12/28/2009 3:03:12 PM
Author: girlface
I never feel let down, but I always feel very very sad when Christmas is over.

Me too - I guess it''s because I keep Christmas low key and focus on enjoying time with my family. I never spend what I can''t afford and try to remember the true meaning of Christmas

 

[jewelz617]

I don''t feel the letdown, because I know I''m lucky enough to have my health, a wonderful family and a nice home. I''m definitely NOT sad to see the holiday madness go, and I''m looking forward to a new year!

 

[zoebartlett]

Congratulations Oobiecoo! How exciting!

I used to feel more let down after the holidays end but the older I get, the more I realize that Christmas is just one day. We don''t have kids yet, so I could get caught up in the holiday frenzy again (who knows), but for now, it''s generally pretty low key. Yeah, I miss the Christmas movies and music, and I miss the lights and decorations, but they''ll be back next year. I find myself now moving on to the next holiday. There''s always something to look forward to!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Ditto Mara on this- I''m not hugely pregnant (yet), but being PG certainly slowed me down this year. It was a very low-key XMas for us and I couldn''t have had it any other way!

 

[pinkstars]

I kind of feel let down after Christmas, I feel more let down while everything is going on actually. I have no family up here so of course we spend the holidays with BF''s family. They''re extremely calm and mellow and not excited about the fact that it''s Christmas. That coupled with thinking about how much more exciting and fun it would be with my family and how I can''t be with my family just makes me really upset.

 

[zhuzhu]

Not let down, but rather tired.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Sometimes I have for sure. Many years DH and I spent all our money on the kids and I always feel a little disappointed. I don''t want to be one of those couples
that don''t buy each or gifts or surprise each other anymore. This year was pretty good. The gifts don''t have to be big for me, just thoughtful. We still spend more on
everyone else but I guess that is the way it goes.

 

[fieryred33143]

Yup. Every year and I know exactly why: presents. I spend way too much time looking for gifts and having last minute people to shop for. I was in the mall at 5:30pm Christmas Eve because we were going to FI''s grandmother''s house and we found out that his cousins got "us" gifts. We didn''t want to show up empty handed for them. Turns out they had gotten DD a gift: one pair of socks each. It really upset me. Not because they had given her socks (that were size 0-3 when she''s 6 months) but because I spent all of that time stressing over finding small gifts, rushing home to wrap, stressing about getting DD dressed and out the door because we were now late instead of just enjoying her first Christmas and being in the moment. My idea of a spectacular Christmas is home, in pjs, watching movies which never happens.

Anyway, I know how you feel. No more for me. Next year will be VERY different.

 

[miraclesrule]

Congrats Oobiecoo...

That''s so exciting! When''s your due date?

As for Christmas....I am always relieved when it''s over. It''s just so stressful these days. I would like it better if it were just parties and fun without presents...except for the kids. But it''s present overload. Even for kids. My gawd, how many toys does one toddler need??

Deco....I''m sorry it sucked, but I can''t help but love your post anyway. Best line of the month:
"No time to spend with my DH, who is down a videogame rabbit hole with the other dudes in the house." That was funny. Not for you at the time, but most definately for my reading entertainment.

 

[Porridge]

Oobiecoo, how about planning something for after Christmas so all your e pectations aren''t focused on Christmas day? Something as small as a massage on the 27th, or a day trip or something.

 

[partgypsy]

There have definitely been years that I have felt that way. In particular being disappointed about the attitude my husband has towards Christmas thus being a killjoy, and heavy hints about what I want for Christmas going unnoticed. Regarding my husband who will complains about the holiday despite I''m the one doing the christmas preparations (including buying and wrapping presents to his family from him) it can make me insensed. We have had many conversations about this, to the point I acknowledge his feelings but if he feels that way to keep it to himself.

So, this Christmas there was only one rant about the holidays, the rest of the time he "behaved" so that was my gift. I felt this was a good Christmas because everyone seemed really happy with the presents they received, and my kids were in 7th heaven so it was very pleasant to sit around with time off playing with them and their toys. At the same time was able to budget so everything will be paid off.
Regarding the second item, the only cure for that is to have NO expectations, and you will not be disappointed.
I remember when I was growing up my mom was always giving the most presents and receiving the least. I think in many families it''s pretty normal pattern and as she has gotten older I''ve taken her place. My husband (albiet on Christmas eve) actually went out and got a couple gifts for me (pens, classic sci fi books) and the fact he actually thought of something I would like and bought it was a big step for him and touching to me. But as I honestly have no large wants/needs right now it seemed like everything was just right.