etiquette question- dinner invitation

[asscherisme]

I have a new friend I met at my children''''s school and her 3 kids are simliar in age to my younger kids. They get along great. So far we have been getting together afters school at each others homes.

She invited me and my children to her house for dinner with her family and she is planning on cooking.

I asked if I could bring anything and she told me no.

Now normally I would bring something but she is from a different culture and I don''''t want to offend her by bringing something she does not want that she might feel obligated to serve or not bringing something and she would think I''''m ungrateful for dinner.

She is from India and has been in this country for 6 years. Her husband is from india as well.


Any advice? Should I bring something even though she said no? I wonder if I should not have asked? I''''m not sure what to do here and help would be appreciated!

 

[KittyGolightly]

Flowers are always nice.

 

[CharmyPoo]

I would bring a bottle of wine for the adults. Or perhaps some desert ... cake or chocolates?

 

[yssie]

India - wine may or may not be acceptable. Noone in my family drinks alcohol, for example, except me.


Flowers are always nice

 

[Dreamer_D]

This is an interesting question for Rocky Talky!

I think a small desert item is always appreciated, or wine if you know that the couple drink.

 

[Rachel9]

An empty belly is always a good thing. Indian hosts get really happy when guests enjoy their food! A gift is expected, small token....anything sweet

Keep in mind that some flowers have different connotations across india, have your family leave their shoes by the door and have a great time!

 

[Octavia]

I agree with flowers, or some small edible/drinkable item that they won't feel obligated to open that night. Like yssie said, alcohol might not be the best idea if you don't know whether they drink or not, but some specialty honey or jam or something like that could be nice if you're not inclined to bring flowers.

 

[kama_s]

DO NOT GO EMPTY HANDED!!!! It''s the biggest no-no ever in Indian families. I''ve been brought up to bring something even if it''s a quick 15 min visit!

I probably wouldn''t do wine. Flowers are always a safe bet. But Indians tend to give food often- chocolate, nuts, pastries, assorted basket of sorts are quite common. You can even make some dessert and take it over, such as home-made brownies.

 

[Kaleigh]

I don''t think you could go wrong with bringing a nice bouquet of flowers... I wouldn''t bring wine...

 

[KatyWI]

I don't agree with bringing dessert, only because then your host will probably feel obligated to serve it, and etiquette states that food items are a no-no for that reason. Though Kama knows more about Indian families than I do to be sure, so perhaps dessert wouldn't be bad in this instance.

Flowers on the other hand can never be misconstrued, and who doesn't love flowers?! So I'm on Team Flower.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I used to work in a family candy store in the summer and they dipped fruit into chocolate. Heavenly. I used to be able to bring home any leftover.

My Indian neighbors never took any because they were vegetarians and I couldn''t assure them how the chocoate was made. So you might have to take that into consideration.....

 

[jewelerman]

im on team flowers!Research the type of flowers to bring or avoid by searching the net or calling a florist.They will appreciate that you tried to get them a flower they would enjoy from back home ect.

 

[PumpkinPie]

I also think flowers are probably the safest choice but homemade goodies are always lovely

 

[asscherisme]

Thanks for the advice! I was leaning towards flowers but I was talking to her at school drop off yesterday and somehow we started talking about sweets and how much she likes them I think that baking something might be nice since I know she has a sweet tooth and is cooking for my kids and me.


So I think I will bake and that would be nice gesture instead of store bought. And even if they don''t llike what I bake, I think the gesture is whats important.

 

[swingirl]

Sweets is a nice idea but make sure you package them up as a gift so she doesn''t feel the need to serve them. That would make the dessert she planned unappreciated or uneaten. Do come back and tell us what she served. It sounds like a fun evening.