Engagement ring shopping stress

[Melaniemel]

Hi all, have been to the forums here for visual aid while shopping for engagement rings with my boyfriend. We are experiencing some engagement ring shopping stress.

We found a ring that we both really liked, it has so much detail, exactly the amount I have fallen in love with. But I'm not entirely sure about the style-- it has a center diamond and two triangle diamonds next to it and pave and intricate detail all over the rest. I don't like triangle diamonds but round won't work in the design. Also I think I like just the one center diamond and pave and detail all over the rest of it. I told him this a lot, I love everything but what I just explained.

We were done and then he looked to find a ring based off what I liked.
I guess this is the part that annoys me about it: he was picking and I'd be surprised, and I was very excited about it. I wasn't to know anything about what he was doing, so I don't know why he came out and told me today. He went with his mother to that same great jeweler and liked that ring I just described above that we both liked. He kept him going all the way back there a secret from me last night until today. He told me he went and looked and liked that same ring still but that he will be having it made but he won't get it sized. He'll propose to me with this ring, oversized so I can't even wear it right away, and if I decide I dont like it he can at least return it since it's not sized. Well so then why didn't he have me go with him especially if he's telling me what he's going to do?? Am I really still deciding on this ring even the night I'm proposed to? I told him this and he got a bit annoyed and stressed. Now I am stressed.

We definitely want one that I'll love and that will last a lifetime if possible. So it's a big deal, a lot of money. I don't know why he kept it a secret from me last night to tell me today after he went there. It was like, well I may as well have been there- now you're getting me a ring you don't know if ill like and you'd rather find out I don't like it the night you propose...? If you're going to tell me all this I should have been there. It is backwards!
If he didn't tell me anything and just did it that seems it would make more sense..

I'm sorry to ramble, it is nearly 2 am here and I have to sleep but just HAD to get this off my chest!

 

[Sizzle]

The whole situation sounds annoying and I agree with everything you said. Men are A$$ BACKWARDS. At this point, you have to ask yourself if you'd rather be right, or you'd rather be happy. Concentrate on the happy part.. You're getting engaged. At least you can return it if you don't like it..

As for the trilliants.. Maybe they can use pears instead?

 

[Gypsy]

I vote for pear sidestones as well. Or bullets. It sounds like he is trying a lot. How about just telling him that you don't want the trilliants straight out and giving him an alternative so there is no guess work at all. Make sure you tell him you appreciate all the effort and you think that it was just a little miscommunication, easily fixed, give him a hug and then... his marching orders. Men need to be managed from time to time.

 

[Maisie]

Ugh. I'm sorry you are feeling stressed. I can imagine how much you have looked forward to your engagement.

I don't understand why he chose the ring as it is, even though you told him repeatedly you don't like the sidestones. I wonder if he thinks it will grow on you. Do you think he just can't be bothered to keep looking for the perfect ring, or does he genuinely like this design?

Could he have a surprise up his sleeve? Maybe he just wants to keep you guessing and has picked out a ring more suited to your requests.

I hope that its the latter and he presents you with the ring of your dreams

 

[Melaniemel]

Thank you so much for writing, I really appreciate it. I am getting so nervous about this ring because I don't know if I like it anymore. I think I will agree with him to have it be made and not be sized just in case. I think he already ordered to have the jeweler make it... I was very clear all along that I loved how this looked but that it wasn't quite "it."....

A reason why it is hard to decide yes or no on this ring is that the center diamond was never set. The prongs were so tall the jeweler could only balance the diamond for me to see, so I really don't know how high up it sits. I can guess but I'm really not sure.
Also it has so much detail which I absolutely love, and the style I feel I'm leaning towards is a bit different: solitaire but with a ton of detail all over the ring and a nice intricate way that the center diamond is held up...

I have showed him pictures of this type. I showed him again today actually, I said "well since it's not final (this was before he hinted it has been ordered to be made) I was just curious what you think of this one?" And showed him the solitaire one I described. He told me this jeweler had ones like that. It was a bit of a bummer to know what I want, and he wants me to have what I want too..

Him saying this jeweler has more of those makes me more annoyed he didn't just bring me with him yesterday! We have of course been there before and I know a ring that was along the lines of the solitaire one I want but wasn't quite "it" and don't know if he has anything new since then.

So.. I will have him still not get it sized just to be sure, have him stick with his original plan. It will be a pity though because in that case we may not have a ring for xmas and I was really looking forward to showing family. But I know things can't be rushed. It could have been more possible if only he brought me yesterday (maybe).

Still so confused! I don't think it's "the one" but at the same time I think, well what if he chose one that was even LESS of "the one" than this?
I hate that it has gotten so technical and no longer a simple happy fun sort of thing. The pressure feels like it's on!

 

[radiantquest]

I think that you will love it and he is trying to make you happy and I am sure that he has listened to how you feel. If there is being one made for you there is a huge chance that it is being made with a different side stone. It seems that you are torn between wanting to have exactly what you want and him surprising you.

As far as him going out without you and then telling you about it I think is probably innocent in nature and try not to get too upset. I think that he was thinking he would do it the traditional way and went with him mom and then was too excited to keep it from you. I know that I am bad about stuff like that. If I get DH an awesome Christmas present it takes all I have to keep from telling him about it.

Try to keep your cool and try not to put extra stress on him. You dont want this time to be filled with un-needed stress. Go with the flow as much as possible. He will get you a beautiful ring, you will love it and then you will live happily ever after. Enjoy this time it is very exciting!