Engagement ring dilemma

[Miss_GG]

Hi Ladies!

My SO and I have been together for nearly 2 and a half yrs - the topic of getting engaged has come up several times so i know its in the pipeline. He has always said he wants me to have the surprise element including the ring and the diamond. I thought at first he woiuld be comfortable proposing just with the diamond but he wants to propose with the entire ring. He has always wanted mer to have a round brilliant solitaire on a very thin band either platinum or white gold and either 4 or 6 prongs. He knows i like round brilliants so would gladly make sure i have one.

Thing is, i dont really know what i want and im worried i wont like what he gets me. Is it best to trust his judgement? Or go around with him and try things on? I feel though that if i bring up going looking that I am pressuring him as it wasnt his "idea". Has anyone been in a similar situation?

While i would love a microvepave diamonds on the shank and or maybe a halo - I am only 5 foot and have tiny fingers (size 4/H) and am worried the ring would then look too much on my finger and he keeps saying the solitaire would be a timeless piece - which dont get me wrong obviously woould be! My other 2 close friends have RB solitaires - does this matter?

Any help would be appreciated!

Thanks!

 

[centralsquare]

What do you like? I wouldn't let your friends rings determine what you get, at least in shape. If you feel strongly that you'd be happier with another shape, then you should tell BF. In the end, he's going to want you to be happy! You can mention something like "I know you want to take of the ring on your own...can I share some of my preferences wtih you?" That way, he still gets to choose it, it still a surprise, but you can weigh in on your preferences.

 

[tuffyluvr]

I think you should try things on and see what looks best on your hand. I changed my mind about what I wanted after actually seeing what the rings looked like on my hand.

Also, I don't think pave will look like too much on your little finger--one of my best friends has size 4 1/4 fingers and she has a 1ct radiant on a pavé band, and it looks amazing on her!!!

 

[OrchidVee]

What do you like? I wouldn't let your friends rings determine what you get, at least in shape. If you feel strongly that you'd be happier with another shape, then you should tell BF. In the end, he's going to want you to be happy! You can mention something like "I know you want to take of the ring on your own...can I share some of my preferences wtih you?" That way, he still gets to choose it, it still a surprise, but you can weigh in on your preferences.

I agree! I think he would appreciate you giving him your preferences. That way he knows exactly what you like and will still get to surprise you.

 

[Amys Bling]

I like centralsquare's idea. Give him some ideas/preferences of what you like ( and def go tontry rings on an see what you prefer on your hand).

 

[AmeliaG]

Solitaires can have pave bands so I don't see where asking for pave conflicts with what he intends to get you.

I agree with the other posters that say try on some thin pave band solitaires first just to make sure you like them on your hand. I'd also suggest trying them on with simple wedding bands so you can get a sense of how the total package will look once you're married.

One caveat though, if the two of you fully intend on going through with the surprise ring, I wouldn't look too long or too hard or else the more you look and try on rings the more detailed and precise your preferences will become so that it will be almost impossible for him to surprise you with something you like. Developing a lot of detailed preferences based on looking on the internet doesn't count because those preferences can go away in a second as soon as you start trying on rings but once you try on rings, your preferences can get pretty set. Just go to a store with a good selection and try on some pave solitaires with wedding bands to get a quick sense of what you like and then let him know.

If you decide to ask him for a pave band then I'd also ask him to ask about the chances of the pave diamonds falling out. That's a risk that all pave has but depending on the workmanship of the ring, the risk can be very large or very small.

 

[BeautyQueen]

Even if this proposal is going to be a surprise , you can still go browse just to see what it is you two really will like. Since me and my partner have started looking my taste really has changed and what i thought i would really love i ended up not being to fond of in person. Go and try stuff on i highly suggest it

 

[Miss_GG]

Thanks girlies!

AmeliaG - thats what i am afraid of, that my preference will get too complicated so I am tempted to just trust his judgement and let him run with it. BeautyQueen - you also make a good point though, maybe i limit it to one or two shops in the city where i know they will let you set loose stones (as i think he was intending on going through awholesaler for the stone and getting it set elsewhere) and looking at rings and then we can both come to a comprimise we are happy with. Obviously he wants me to be happy with it but as he is purchasing it for me i also want him to love the ring. Have always said that if i do end up with a rb solitaire then i would get 2 split pave wedders which he is happy to do.